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dustedmagazine · 3 years

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Dust Volume 7, Number 5

Sarah Louise

A week or two before this Dust’s deadline, we got our first tour announcement by email in more than a year. It was the first of deluge, as live music looks to be coming back with a vengeance starting this summer and really picking up steam around September. Meanwhile, we celebrate our newly vaxxed (or for our Canadian correspondents half-vaxxed) status with tentative steps outside. Your editor had her first beer at a brew pub in mid-May, and it was stupendous. Also stupendous, the onslaught of new music, which has, if anything, accelerated. This month, contributors include all the regulars plus a few new people: Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Patrick Masterson, Ray Garraty, Tim Clarke, Andrew Forell, Ian Mathers, Bryon Hayes, Jonathan Shaw and Chris Liberato. Happy spring, happy normal and happy listening!

Amulets — Blooming (The Flenser)

Blooming by AMULETS

Like a lot of us, Portland-based noise artist Randall Taylor discovered the solace of long walks during the pandemic. His work, which has always used tape degradation to explore the intersection of time, loss and technology, shifted to incorporate another source of decay: the natural world. So, in opening salvo, “Blooming,” alongside blistering onslaughts of eroded guitar sound, it is possible to hear the sounds of a fertile garden — birds, insects, air movement. You can nearly smell the flowers and feel the sunshine on your skin. “The New Normal” explores sounds of creaking, friction-y word and metal, alongside pristine chimes of synthetic tone. It is uneasy, with skittering string-like squeaks and swoops, but also deeply meditative; it shifts from moment to moment from anxiety to provisional acceptance, much as we all did last year, staring out our windows. Overall, the tone is elegiac, gorgeous, but Randall does not hesitate to introduce dissonance. “Heaviest Weight” thunders with frayed bass tones, a weight and a threat in their subliminal pulse. The contrast between that ominous sound and purer, clearer layers of melody, makes for unsettling listening—are we at war or peace, happy or sad, agitated or calm? And yet, perhaps that’s the point, that the past year has been swirl of feelings, boredom alongside anxiety, hope lighting the corners of our listlessness, the smell of flowers pleasing but faintly reminiscent of funerals. Blooming decocts this mix into sound.

Jennifer Kelly

Astute Palate — S-T (Petty Bunco)

Astute Palate by Astute Palate

Astute Palate is a hastily assembled group of rockers summoned to support David Nance in Philly on a date when he couldn’t bring the David Nance Band. Participants included Richie Records proprietor Richie Charles, Lantern’s Emily Robb, Writhing Squares/Purling Hiss/all around Philadelphia regular Daniel Provenzano on bass and, of course, Nance himself, all huddled together in Robb’s recording studio for a weekend together. None of this origin story does justice, however, to the pure liquid fire of this one-off musical collaboration, dominated by Nance’s viscous, distorted blues-inflected guitar wail, but knocked sideways by brute force drumming, wild hypnotic bass lines and the ritual incantation of Nance (and later Robb) singing. The long “Stall Out” does anything but, rampaging free-range in unbridled Crazy Horse/Allmans-style abandon for close to ten minutes without a single sputter. “A Little Proof” is somehow simultaneously heavier and more country, spinning out the soul-blues jams like a younger, unrulier cousin to MC5. “Treadin’ Schuylkill” gives Provenzano the spotlight, opening with a growling bass solo soon joined by heavy psych guitars (a nod, perhaps, to the illustrious locals in Bardo Pond). If Nance et. al. can pull stuff this fine out in a stray road warrior weekend, what are the rest of you doing with your lives?

Jennifer Kelly

Axis: Sova — Fractal (God?)

Fractal - EP by Axis: Sova

Axis: Sova is a combo of three Chicago guys plus one drum machine, which had already been inactive for two or three seasons before the initial COVID lockdown. This digital EP is their way of clearing up some business that could no longer remain undone. The title tune, “Fractal USA,” is a remake of a song from the early days, when the “band” was Brett Sova’s solo project, to full-on, no your pants aren’t tight enough rock band. They just needed you to know about the evolution, you see, so go ahead, do some scissor kicks and gurn while they windmill away; you have enough money saved up from not seeing live music to pay the inevitable chiropractor bill. “Caramel” hypothesizes that a Cluster song that’s played twice as loud and twice as long is twice as good; not sure if I agree, but it’s still not bad at all. Maybe you got a little weird after a few months of putting on your best mask for your daily trip to see if the stimulus check was in the mailbox? The Brenda Ray-meets-Old Black mash up, “(Don’t Wanna Have That) Dream,” is proof that while you were alone, you weren’t alone. If you’ve made it this far, you don’t need to have the fourth track described, so let’s just say that it’s longer.

Bill Meyer

Mattie Barbier — Three Spaces (self-released)

three spaces by mattie barbier

While perhaps best known as half of the trombone-centric new music duo RAGE Thormbones, Mattie Barbier is a member of several other combos and a sonic researcher under their own name. Three Spaces, which is a single, album-length sound file, has the air of experimentation about it. “What do I do,” one can imagine Barbier asking themself, “when I can’t play with other people?” Make music at home, and out of what’s at home, is the obvious answer. But doing isn’t the only point here; the outcome also matters, and while what Barbier has accomplished with Three Spaces sounds quite different from the RAGE Thormbones live experience, it registers quite strongly. Barbier has combined long tones and melodic fragments played on euphonium, trombone and reed organ, that were recorded both inside and outside of their home. Carefully layered, the source material combines into a sound rather like a bell’s toll, which over the course of nearly 39 minutes swells and recedes, but never quite decays; it ends with an imposed rather than natural fade-out. The sound is as deep as it is expansive, inviting the listener to let themselves fall ever father into its realm.

Bill Meyer

Beneath — On Tilt EP (Hemlock Recordings)

On Tilt EP by Beneath

One of the more pleasant surprises this year is the resuscitation of Untold’s Hemlock Recordings imprint. A vital voice in the post-dubstep fracas at the turn of the ‘10s thanks to releases from Hessle Audio’s Pearson Sound (when he was still Ramadanman) and Pangaea, James Blake, FaltyDL and Hodge to name but a handful, the label went dormant following a Ploy 12” in 2017 before the surprise announcement of Londoner Beneath’s On Tilt, which sounds every bit the sensible alliance in practice it looks on paper: These are low-end rumblers with irregular rhythms and spare melodic tics that worm their way into your brain in the best bone-humming fashion (see “Shambling” or “Lesser Circulation” for a good example). Who knows how long the return will last, but for a certain stripe of DMZ-damaged devotee and pretty much no one else, it’ll feel good to have some Hemlock in your life again. Tilt back, pour in.

Patrick Masterson

Black Spirit— El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos (Infinite Night Records)

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More metal comes from South America than Spain, but these Europeans clear the high bar set by Latin America scenesters. The album’s title states that it was inspired by “El Sueño De La Razón Produce Monstruos.” That can testify both to lasting influence of Goya’s art and to the laziness of the current culture which seeks inspiration only from the most popular pictorial art of the past. The track “Ignorance and The Grotesque” perfectly captures the whole mood of the disc: it balances ignorant speeds, undecipherable vocals and grotesque parts with piano interludes and doom-ish atmosphere. It would be better without the grotesque, but that’s probably part of the baggage.

Ray Garraty

Burial + Blackdown — Shock Power of Love EP (Keysound Recordings)

Shock Power of Love EP by Burial

You might worry, occasionally, that Burial was becoming a victim of diminishing returns. Here, as ever, he uses a narrow palette to create tracks that few can emulate. However, even though the music has its rewards, it doesn’t clear the very high bar that his previous work has set. Thus “Dark Gethsemane” rides a 4/4 beat, angelic murmurs, vinyl crackle and a tightly ratcheted build that morphs into a sermon led by the repeated invocation “We must shock this nation with the power of love.” As his vocal samples become more explicit, the mystery of his music fades. This is all promise and no real resolution. “Space Cadet’ likewise sounds both gorgeous and minor with its soul gospel refrain “Take Me Higher” over an old-school jungle beat. At six plus minutes it would have been enough. It continues another three with an almost cartoonish second movement that lacks the subtlety that characterizes Burial’s best work.

Andrew Forell

Colleen — The Tunnel and the Clearing (Thrill Jockey)

The Tunnel and the Clearing by Colleen

While COVID messed with most people’s lives, it was both an endgame and an opportunity for Cécile Schott, the Frenchwoman who records under the name Colleen. She was just coming out of a series of health and personal dislocations, which resulted in her being newly healthy but alone in a new town just as the lockdown came down. Clearly, this was not a time for half measures, so she selected an entirely new instrumental set-up and settled in to make a record that reflected what she’d been through. Out went the viola da gamba and melodica that have figured prominently on her last few albums; in came a Moog synthesizer, a Yamaha organ, a tape echo and a drum machine.

Colleen’s voice, of course, remains the same. Airy and precise, her delivery doesn’t match the gravity of the experiences her songs describe. But that sense of remove is, perhaps, a reflection of one of adversity’s lessons; if you don’t stay stuck, you can wind up somewhere quite different. Between the keyboards’ cycling melodies and the drum machine’s fizzy beats, the music on The Tunnel and the Clearing imparts a sense of motion that carries her light voice along for the ride, dropping painful sentiments and letting them fall behind.

Bill Meyer

Current Joys — Voyager (Secretly Canadian)

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Nick Rattigan has been releasing music under the name Current Joys since 2013, and Voyager is his latest offering. It’s a dramatic and often brilliant collection of songs, bringing to mind the urgent rhythmic drive of Spoon, the dour grandeur of The Cure and the unapologetic emotional heft of Bright Eyes or early Arcade Fire. On Voyager’s standout, “American Honey,” a simple strummed backing and Rattigan’s vocal delivery are potent enough, but it’s the string section that proves devastating, cycling around for multiple punches to the gut. While more stripped-back songs such as “Big Star” and “The Spirit or the Curse” offer some respite along the way, Voyager does prove a little unwieldy. With 16 tracks clocking in at nearly an hour, the album’s execution doesn’t quite live up to its ambition. The wonky tom-tom rhythms of “Breaking the Waves” are more distracting than interesting; a serviceable cover of Rowland S. Howard’s “Shivers” feels more like an acknowledgment of influence than a striking interpretation; and the combined six minutes of the two-part instrumental title track may have worked better as shorter interludes. Nevertheless, plenty of Voyager’s tracks demonstrate Rattigan’s knack for a raw, emotive indie-rock tune.

Tim Clarke

Ducks Ltd — Get Bleak EP (Carpark Records)

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Toronto duo Ducks Ltd celebrates signing to Carpark with an expanded re-release of their 2018 debut EP Get Bleak. The pair — Tom Mcgreevy on vocals, rhythm and bass guitars and Evan Lewis on lead guitar — bonded over a shared love of 1980s indie bands. Their intricately constructed guitar interplay carries the DNA of Postcard and C86 over meaty bass lines that evoke Mighty Mighty as much as Orange Juice and McCarthy. The sprightly music belies the miserablism of the lyrics that focus on FOMO, poor decisions, screen induced isolation, the corrosive impact of gentrification and gig economies. Mcgreevy and Lewis don’t wallow, however. Their jaunty jangle is a paean to the joys of jumping about and singing along with those new favorite songs that suddenly mean everything and will stick with you long after the world’s shit slopes your shoulders.

Andrew Forell

Field Music — Flat White Moon (Memphis Industries)

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It’s easy to take Field Music for granted. Since 2005, the Brewis brothers have been making smartly composed and tightly executed guitar pop with obvious debts to The Beatles and XTC, and all their albums have fallen somewhere along the continuum from good to great (my personal favorites are 2010’s Measure and 2012’s Plumb). Album number eight, Flat White Moon, features the usual balance between Peter’s more pensive, bittersweet numbers with greater focus on piano and strings, such as “Orion From the Street” and “When You Last Heard From Linda,” and David’s funkier, more staccato cuts, such as “No Pressure” and “I’m the One Who Wants to Be With You.” Twelve songs, 40 minutes, tunes for days — what’s not to love? If you’ve yet to get acquainted with Field Music, Flat White Moon is as good an introduction as any.

Tim Clarke

Gabby Fluke-Mogul/Jacob Felix Heule/Kanoko Nishi-Smith — Non-Dweller (Humbler)

non-dweller by gabby fluke-mogul, Jacob Felix Heule, & Kanoko Nishi-Smith

With Non-Dweller, we have a trio of Bay-Area improvisers who certainly do not reside in one place for very long. There is an agitated freneticism about their interactions here, the performers acting like electrons seeking to release energy and break out of orbit. Each player brings a unique collection of timbres to the party with their implement of choice. Heule is a percussionist by trade yet focuses on extended techniques — mainly friction-based — as he wrests an unholy wail from the maw of his bass drum. Fluke-Mogul’s violin sways between tone generator and noise source. Nishi-Smith is a classically trained pianist who here is bowing and plucking the koto, or Japanese zither. The trio spend most of their time in sparring mode, their energies unleashed with synchrony as if in an elaborate dance. It is clear they have collaborated before. Heule and Nishi-Smith have been at it for over a decade; Fluke-Mogul joined the party in 2019. The most gorgeous moments happen when all three players are focused on friction: Heule slides across his drum, Fluke-Mogul soars with their violin and Nishi-Smith gracefully bows her koto. The energy is focused and particles collide, creating waves of tone. The players wrestle intensity into submission, and the ensuing sonorities are unmissable.

Bryon Hayes

FMB DZ — War Zone (Fast Money Boyz \ EMPIRE)

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Ever since FMB DZ got shot and moved out of Detroit, he has continued to release angry music. (He may not be more productive after the assault, but he’s certainly not less so.) War Zone is his latest effort, along with The Gift 3 and Ape Season, and DZ is back in his paranoiac mode and ready for vengeance. That’s hardly unusual in this type of music but DZ stands out because he’s a bit angrier, a bit more pressing and a bit more gifted than the next man. He doesn’t outdo himself in this tape, but rather mostly follows the blueprint of Ape Season. The standout track is “Spin Again.”

Ray Garraty

Ian M Fraser — Berserk (Superpang)

Berserk by Ian M Fraser

Ian M Fraser is kind enough to provide details about how he created and edited Berserk, although relatively few listeners are going to really know what “nonlinear feedback systems and waveset synthesis” are, let alone “sensormonitor primitives auditory perception software”. And fewer still will be able to focus on what that might mean while Berserk is actually playing, because the output of those programs and systems is immediately, viscerally clear. If a computer were actually capable of going rabid, feral, well, berserk, the human mind might imagine it sounds something like this. Over four shorter tracks and the relatively epic 8:26 of “The Cannibal,” Fraser either coaxes or allows (or both) his tools into the equivalent of something like what someone who knew very little about both genres might imagine is like a power electronics act playing free jazz or vice versa. It is absolutely viscerally thrilling (albeit probably easier to repeat at this length of 16 minutes than, say, 50) and will do the track the next time you feel like your brain needs a good hard scrub.

Ian Mathers

Human Failure — Crown on the Head of a King of Mud (Sentient Ruin Laboratories)

Crown on the Head of a King of Mud by Human Failure

It’s tough to figure out if the band’s name is meant specifically to apply to D. Cornejo (sole member of Human Failure) or to the general field of human failure, which grows ever more capacious. Whatever the intent, Human Failure makes thoroughly unlovable music, pitched somewhere on the continuum that runs from the primitivist death metal to stenchcore to harsh noise. This reviewer is especially fond (yep, somehow that’s the only word for it) of the title track of this 10” record: “Crown on the Head of a King of Mud” sloughs and slogs along for two minutes, sort of like one of the ripest zombies in Romero’s Day of the Dead (1985), wandering about and slowly falling to pieces in Florida’s tumid heat. Just as that last bit of flesh is poised to slide from bone, the song unexpectedly breaks into a run. Where is it going? What’s the rush? No one knows. Things eventually bottom out into “Disassembling Morality,” a static-and-distortion laden electronic interlude that might squeak and spark for a bit too long — but then “Your Hope Is a Noose” shambles into the frame. That zombie seems to have found some equally noisome and truculent friends. They djent and pogo around for a while, and the song has a lot more fun than seems called for by the band name. Cornejo might be pissed off by the myriad manmade disasters and outright catastrophes that burden the earthball (he’s sure angry as heck about something…). But the record ends up being sort of successful, if deafening, grinding, growling stench is on the agenda. All things considered, why wouldn’t it be?

Jonathan Shaw

Insub Meta Orchestra — Ten / Sync (Insub)

Ten / Sync by INSUB META ORCHESTRA

Ten / Sync was recorded in September, 2020; not exactly lockdown time, but certainly not out of the pandemic woods. It’s no small task to keep any 50-strong orchestra going, let alone one devoted to experimental music. So, if you already have one, then having it perform during a pandemic is just another challenge among many. So, the Swiss-based orchestra assembled three groups of musicians, numbering 31 in all, and assembled their contributions during post-production. While this did not provide the social experience that IMO’s gatherings usually impart to participants, an outcome that just isn’t the same seems awfully representative of the time, right? And since one Insub Meta Orchestra subspeciality is making music that sounds like it was performed by many fewer players than were actually present, this collection of sustained chords concealing tiny actions and apparently disassembled passages is actually very representative of the ensemble’s music.

Bill Meyer

Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore — Neutral Love (Astral Editions)

Neutral Love by Amirtha Kidambi & Matteo Liberatore

With her own group, the Elder Ones, and in Mary Halvorson’s Code Girl, singer Amirtha Kidambi shows how far you can take a song while still giving the meanings of words and the boundaries of form their dues. But Neutral Love, like her two tapes with Lea Bertucci, explores the territory outside the tower of song. The main structures for this improvised encounter with electric guitarist Matteo Liberatore seem to be a shared agreement to exclude certain options. Song form and overt displays of chops are right out; the patient manipulation of sounds is where it’s at. Liberatore opts mostly for swelling and subsiding resonations, while Kidambi spends a lot of time finding out what’s hiding at the back of her throat, drawing it out, and then tying it into elaborate shapes. Patient and eerie, these four tracks find a place adjacent to Charalambides at their most abstract, and make it their own.

Bill Meyer

Kosmodemonic — Liminal Light (Transylvanian Recordings)

KOSMODEMONIC - LIMINAL LIGHT by KOSMODEMONIC

NYC outfit Kosmodemonic is among the recent wave of metal bands attempting to effect an organic-sounding synthesis of numerous subgenres: a slurry of sludge, a bit of black metal, a dose of doom, and a hit or two of the lysergic. When it works — as it does on a number of tracks on the band’s long new cassette Liminal Light — it’s an exciting sound. Songs like “Moirai” and “Broken Crown” manage to couple tuneful riffs, dirty tone and a muscular bottom end in ways that feel thumping, groovy and pretty weird. You’ll want to bump your butt around even as you’re looking for something to break. But the tape is pretty long, and the further afield Kosmodemonic gets from that mid-tempo groove, the more middling (and sometimes muddled) the material sounds. “With Majesty” can’t quite find its rhythmic footing in its more technical passages, and the song’s sludgier sections feel like compromises, rather than interesting maneuvers. But the record begins and finishes with really strong songs. Both “Drown in Drone” and “Unnaming Unlearning” embrace scale, letting their big riffs rip. When “Unnaming Unlearning” slips into complex sections of blackened and distorted dissonance, the drama surges. Formal experiment and manipulation of mood fold into each other. The song gets interesting, even as it’s reaching for a peak. And then it ends, suddenly, violently. It’s pretty good. Your impulse is to flip the tape and hear it again, which is just what Kosmodemonic wants you to do. Well played, dudes.

Jonathan Shaw

Sarah Louise — Earth Bow (Self-Released)

Earth Bow by Sarah Louise

Asheville-based songwriter Sarah Louise wants to be your personal nature interpreter. The titles of her recordings, from her debut Field Guide through Deeper Woods and Nighttime Birds and Morning Stars are like planetary signposts pointing to a more intimate relationship with our planet as a living organism. With each successive release, her music has also become more and more organic sounding, culminating with Earth Bow, in which Louise herself is arms deep in humus, communing with birds and insects. Recordings of creation feature prominently; katydids, spring peeper frogs, a creek and various birds are credited as providing additional singing, augmenting the artist’s own mellifluous voice. For a recording in which the track titles and lyrics are focused on nature and Louise’s experiences therein, there are a lot of digital elements. Her 12-string guitar is prominent in places, but synths are everywhere: in the background, bouncing around like shooting stars, and mimicking the various fauna that they accompany. Yet the earthly and the machine-made are not juxtaposed, they are blended. The vocals, which center the recordings, tie both elements together nicely. Earth Bow is a tasty concoction, in which a variety of ingredients are married in botanical bliss.

Bryon Hayes

Le Mav — “Supersonic (Feat. Tay Iwar)” (Immaculate Taste)

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Nigeria’s alté scene has been bubbling for a couple of years now on the backs of guys like Odunsi (The Engine) and Santi, and Gabriel Obi bka Le Mav is no stranger to the fray, having produced Santi’s “Sparky,” Aylø and a recurring favorite of his, singer Tay Iwar. The two have already collaborated at length (for songs off Iwar’s debut album Gemini in 2019, as well as the entirety of last year’s Gold EP), so the comfort level here is established. It shows: Iwar’s smooth-as vocals match Le Mav’s breezy piano descent and gentle rhythmic shuffle in an easygoing song that matches anything you might hear coming from Miguel, Frank Ocean or the Sun-El Musician orbit. “If it feels right, touch the sky,” Iwar suggests early on. Well, don’t mind if I do.

Patrick Masterson

Sugar Minott — “I Remember Mama” (Emotional Rescue)

I Remember Mama by Sugar Minott

At some point after Lincoln Barrington Minott had left Kingston and his early dancehall and lovers rock legacy with Studio One and Black Roots behind for cooler climates and the old world of London, he ran into producer Steve Parr at the Wackies offices. Story goes that the two decided to start up Sound Design Studio with the intent to record and mix for ads, film and music — but scant evidence of this idea exists beyond “I Remember Mama,” released on 7” and 12” in 1985 and reissued for the first time since via Stuart Leath and his long-trusted Emotional Rescue imprint. Parr does most of the work on the recording (Andy MacDonald shines on tenor sax and Paul Uden guitar in the original credits), but it’s all about the sweetness Sugar brings to the table: With backing from two accomplished performers in their own right, Janette Sewell and Shola Phillips, Minott’s naturally relaxed delivery shines through on this. “Sound Design” is a dubbier instrumental version that retains Sewell’s and Phillips’ vocals, and Dan Tyler (half of Idjut Boys) provides an even spacier, handclap-laden 11-minute remix, but while both variants are excellent, the boogie of the original is unassailable. Look for the vinyl to hit in July.

Patrick Masterson

Jessica Ackerley — Morning/mourning (Cacophonous Revival)

Morning/mourning by Jessica Ackerley

It makes sense that Wendy Eisenberg wrote the liner notes to Morning/mourning, since they and Jessica Ackerley are bound by a shared commitment to string-craft. Both have a deep idiomatic foundation in jazz guitar, but neither is willing to be confined by what they’ve learned. In the case of Morning/mourning, that means that patiently paced ruminations upon Derek Bailey-like harmonics sit side by side with frantic but rigorously scripted forays that sound a bit like Jim Hall might if he input the contents of his French press intravenously. This album’s nine tracks observe passings and new beginnings, since Ackerley pulled the recording together while in quarantine, shortly before leaving Manhattan for Honolulu, and titled some of them in tribute to a pair of guitar teachers who were taken by 2020. But in their attention to tone, harmony, velocity and structure, these pieces, like Eisenberg’s records, speak as much to intellect as to emotion.

Bill Meyer

Nadja & Disrotted — Split (Roman Numeral Records)

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It makes a certain kind of sense for Nadja and Disrotted to tackle a split together; although both bands traffic in a particularly foreboding strain of doom metal, they also share a weird sort of comfort. There’s a sense more of horrible things happening around you than to you, like you’re in the eye of the storm or maybe in a bathysphere plunged to crushing depths. There is a precision to the menace, a measured quality to the noise. And they get there when they get there; as Dusted’s Jonathan Shaw pointed out in his review of Disrotted’s Cryongenics, “Pace seems to be the point.” This excellent split doesn’t shy away from these commonalities while still highlighting the distinct timbres of each act, with Nadja settling into and then returning to one of their indelibly titanic bass riffs throughout the 19-minute “From the Lips of a Ghost in the Shadow of a Unicorn's Dream” and Disrotted somehow conjuring the feeling of a massive structure corroding and collapsing on the 15-minute “Pastures for the Benighted”. When the latter slams to a half, one last hit echoing away, the listener may find themselves feeling equally relieved the onslaught is over and kind of missing both sides’ pulverizing embrace.

Ian Mathers

Nasimiyu — POTIONS (Figureight)

P O T I O N S by nasimiYu

Nasimiyu’s songs bounce and shimmy with complex rhythms, her background as a dancer and percussionist for Kabells and Sharkmuffin coming through in the intricate interplay of handclaps, breathy beat-boxing, rattling metal implements, all manner of drums and, not least, her lithe, twining vocal lines. “Watercolor” blossoms out of a burst of choral “la”s, each note allowed to flower briefly before behind cut off with a knife-edge; these are organic sounds shaped with mechanical precision. Against this background, Nasimiyu herself enters, her voice fluttery and syncopated, a bit like Neneh Cherry. The mix is full of separate elements, the backing vocals, a synthesizer working as a bass, handclaps, Nasimiyu’s singing, but the song remains light and translucent. “Feelings,” sings Nasimiyu, “I am in my feelings,” and so, for a moment, are we. Nasimiyu is half Kenyan and half Scandinavian-American, and you can hear a bit of East Africa in the surging sweetness of choral singing on “Immigrant Hustle.” But there’s a post-modern gloss over everything, as the singer brings in sonic elements from jazz, electronica, dance, pop and afro-beat. Yet however many layers are added, the sound remains bright and clear, a bead curtain of musical sensation whose elements click faintly as they brush together, but remain essentially separate.

Jennifer Kelly

Carlos Niño & Friends — More Energy Fields, Current (International Anthem)

More Energy Fields, Current by Carlos Niño & Friends

Multi-instrumentalist and producer Carlos Niño latest album which straddles and largely crosses the line between spiritual jazz and new age ambience features friends from both worlds including Shabaka Hutchings, Jamael Dean, Dntel and Laraaji. Niño, who plays percussion and synthesizer, edited, mixed and produced the album from recordings made in 2019 and 2020 in a variety of settings. The results are largely low-key soundscapes designed to assist meditation on the fields and current of the title. Much evocation of the natural world, chiming eastern influenced percussion and layers of acoustic and synthetic keys that are lovely but tend to lull. It is the slightly disruptive reeds that prick the ears here, Aaron Hall’s plangent tenor on “Now the background is foreground,” Devin Daniels’ alto phrasing on “Together” and Hutchings’ expressive duet with Dean on “Please, wake up.”

Andrew Forell

Shane Parish — Disintegrated Satellites (Bandcamp subscription)

Disintegrated Satellites EP by Shane Parish

The normally ultra-productive Shane Parish didn’t put out a lot of music in 2020, and none of what did come out was recorded that year. It turns out that he was busy giving guitar lessons via zoom and moving from North Carolina to Georgia, but we’re well into a new year and he’s back in Bandcamp. This three tune EP doesn’t declare a new direction, of which Parish has had many, so much as an integration of his interests in American folk music and far Eastern tonalities. Simultaneously familiar and alien, but above all propulsive, it serves notice that the time for reflection has passed.

Bill Meyer

Séketxe — “Caixão de Luxo” (Chasing Dreams)

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The thing that gets your attention about Séketxe is… well, everything: how many of them there are (i.e., how you can’t really tell who’s in the group and who isn’t), how they’re all propellant, a musical bottle rocket bursting out of your speakers, confrontationally in your face on camera — and how much fun it looks like they’re having. Somewhere out there beyond the reaches of kuduro and Mystikal lie the Angolan barks and rasps of this youthful sextet, who trade verses (and a soothing harmony drizzled right across the madness at around 1:40) among one another over an Eddy Tussa sample on a beat by producer about town Smash Midas. What are they on about? My Portuguese is nonexistent, let alone my Luandan slang, but even I can tell that title translates to “luxury casket.” Anyway, it’s bonkers and if you’re looking for a jolt your morning joe doesn’t deliver anymore, Séketxe oughta do it. You’ll never catch me thanking an algorithm, but I guess it’s true the maths can serve it up right every once in a while. Séketxe is the proof.

Patrick Masterson

Tōth — You and Me and Everything (Northern Spy)

You And Me And Everything by Tōth

The title of Alex Toth’s solo debut, Practice Magic and Seek Professional Help When Necessary, alludes to his belief in music as therapy — that there’s an alchemy in the process, yet one that can’t necessarily be depended on to pull you out of an emotional hole when that hole gets too deep. On his new album, You and Me and Everything, all of his recent personal struggles are out in the open. There’s the tale of when he was so fucked up he couldn’t play trumpet at a family funeral (“Turnaround (Cocaine Song)”); there’s leaning on songwriting as a means to process the pain of heartbreak (“Guitars are Better Than Synthesizers for Writing Through Hard Times”); and there’s his ongoing battle with anxiety (“Butterflies”). While such heavy emotional terrain could prove hard-going, Toth approaches everything with a playfulness, a lightness of touch and a gentle haze to the production. Plus, he gets a helping hand from Jenn Wasner (Wye Oak, Flock of Dimes), who lends backing vocals to standout “Daffadowndilly,” which taps into the woozy gorgeousness of prime Robert Wyatt.

Tim Clarke

Mara Winter — Rise, follow (Discreet Editions)

Rise, follow by Mara Winter

For people with busy performance schedules, 2020 posed a problem; how do you stay busy and creative when you can’t do what you usually do? Mara Winter, an American-born, Swiss-based flute player who specializes in Renaissance-era repertoire and instruments, used it to forge a new creative identity. In partnership with experimental composer and multi-instrumentalist Clara de Asís, she began exploring the commonalities between early, composed music and contemporary approaches and developed a platform to disseminate documents of that research into the world. Rise, follow, the inaugural release of Discreet Editions, is an hour-long piece for two Renaissance-style bass flutes played by Winter and Johanna Bartz. The two musicians played long, overlapping tones with contrast attacks, pushing on until they grew so tired from hefting those woodwinds that they just couldn’t play anymore. Effectively the performance unit is a trio, since the two musicians had to accommodate or collaborate with the reverberant acoustics of Basel’s Kartäuserkirche. The church’s echo threw sounds back at the player, turning pure tones into blurred timbres. While the instrumentation is antique, the ideas about sound combination and endurance have more to do with Morton Feldman, Phill Niblock and Aíne O’Dwyer. The result is music that is simultaneously meditative and as heavy as a bench-pressing competition.

Bill Meyer

Wurld Series — What’s Growing (Melted Ice Cream)

What's Growing by Wurld Series

Some reviewers of What’s Growing, the second album by New Zealand’s Wurld Series, have managed to avoid making Pavement comparisons, but it’s hard to fathom their restraint. Brief opener “Harvester” feels like you’re being dropped mid-solo into a random Wowee Zowee track; the guitar tone on lead single “Nap Gate,” on the other hand, sounds like it's nicked straight from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. And while singer/guitarist Luke Towart doesn’t attempt to match Malkmus’ flamboyance in the vocal delivery department, their voices and wry lyrical observations bear a distinct resemblance to one another. “Caught beneath a dull blade / What a mess that would make” he sings on “Distant Business” before the song reaches its finale where guitar solos blast off from atop other guitar solos in an array of complementary textures. But besides being a ridiculously fun guitar pop record, What’s Growing is also threaded through with a British psych folk vibe replete with Mellotron flute — and the two styles blend seamlessly together thanks to Towart’s partner in crime, producer/drummer Brian Feary (Salad Boys, Dance Asthmatics). So, whether you're looking for a great summer indie rock record or you’ve ever wondered what the Fab Five from Stockton might’ve sounded like if they’d stuck to short songs and had more flutes, this one’s for you.

Chris Liberato

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ambitionsource · 4 years

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AMBITION Season 2 ♫ “Contingency Plan” [ 2.07 ]

CREATED BY Esther (rapunzles) & Maggie (quincywillows) || S2 Tag || Official Page

JUST IN CASE – In preparation for the looming pressure of senior year, Eric meets with each junior for a mandatory check-in. Unwanted attention sheds light on areas of weakness. Contents under pressure can only bend so much before they break.

70 Minutes (20K words) || CONTENT WARNING: suicide attempt (not shown); suicidal ideation; depictions of anxiety. Take care of yourselves and read with discretion.

[ ← Trapped ] [ S2 Synopsis ] [ Got A Lotta Livin’ To Do → ]

( Follow along with the music on Spotify here! )

INT. AUDITORIUM - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “A Million Dreams” as performed by The Greatest Showman Original Cast || Performed by Eric Matthews (feat. Angela Moore)

From the back, we open on a young student sitting backwards on a chair underneath a gleaming spotlight. As they launch into the opening notes of the number, something about the voice is vaguely familiar albeit a much higher tenor than we’re used to. As the camera eases in a circle around them…

We come to face YOUNG ERIC MATTHEWS (16). He’s fresh-faced, excited, sporting his ridiculously good ‘90s hair and with a layer of baby fat on his cheeks. He’s in the role all of our protagonists are in now, the world he once occupied -- a hopeful performing arts student, dizzyingly proclaiming all of the dreams he’s going to accomplish.

There’s something truly charming about his youthful performance. An unwavering belief in his passion, an electric energy as he dances across the stage that has matured into something deeper as he’s gotten older. Undoubtedly, he’s also good, really good -- just as good as any of the students at AAA despite not attending some fancy academy for the arts.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

When the vocal tenor shifts in the middle of the song, younger Eric spins and the camera goes with him, transforming into ERIC MATTHEWS in present day. He’s still singing the same song, reprising the number on the AAA stage. The junior A class sits scattered in the audience, visible mostly from the back of their heads like how young Eric was first viewed.

A surprise guest joins in, ANGELA MOORE floating onto the stage with gusto. The A class performers react accordingly to this, excitement in their features at their former coach making a grand return. On the line “share your dreams with me,” she smiles and holds her hands to her heart -- MAYA HART emulates the gesture in the audience, obviously so happy she’s back.

Angela and Eric finish out the duet impressively, reminding us that the faculty at AAA certainly hold an understanding of what their students are currently living through. They round out a spin together and fall into a hug as the piano takes the song out, before walking to the front of the stage and clasping their hands together in front of themselves.

HARPER BURGESS jogs onto the stage to join them as the A class applauds, completing the trio and matching their stance.

Harper: Welcome to check-in week.

As they go on to explain, this is the annual week in the midst of each class’ junior year during which they meet with Eric -- and this time, maybe Angela! -- to discuss what their current goals and plans for the future are. Colleges, auditions, the real world is just around the corner, and it’s time for them to start preparing for it.

The response to this impending reality is decidedly mixed. Some seem excited, invigorated, whereas others look reluctant or just plain scared. Off these varied emotions --

Cue title sequence.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

The diva crop of performers are together again, Maya leading the discussion as she, ZAY BABINEAUX, NIGEL CHEY, YINDRA AMINO, and ISADORA DE LA CRUZ eagerly discuss the content of the week. Maya has every detail of her life seemingly planned down to the wire, more than prepared to chase that elusive dream by every single choreographed move.

Yindra and Nigel add in their two cents, the former claiming she wants to jet-set straight to Los Angeles to start trying to break into the music industry. Maya scoffs at this, claiming that’s a pretty risky business venture. Nigel notes that he wants to attend one of the theater schools in New York before jumping the ocean to study / start up some roles in London at the West End. Every great actor gets their start in the West End.

Zay and Isadora are particularly quiet. As Zay listens to his friends verbally shoot for the stars, he contemplates that maybe he’s selling himself too short or approaching his future too modestly. Isadora feels totally lost, way behind on the performer uptake and not even sure what she wants to pursue once they graduate.

Nigel: Well, better to have many talents you can’t choose between than be tethered to one that may or may not pan out.

Maybe so, Nigel. Maybe so. Isadora smiles half-heartedly, averting her gaze as they jump back into daydreaming. She notices FARKLE MINKUS seated a couple tables away by himself, excusing herself softly.

Oddly enough, Farkle is suddenly… looking and acting a lot more like his former self. He’s back in his more polished fashion from season one, despite how it doesn’t fit right anymore with his height gain and weight loss. His hair has been swept back off his forehead into what could be considered a coiff… if you squint.

More than that, what’s so jarring about it is the fervor that seems to have taken him over. He’s spent much of the school year being uncharacteristically listless unless provoked, and now he’s suddenly back to work at a ferocious pace. He’s bent over his laptop and a notebook, meticulously crafting his “future” presentation for Eric.

Isadora raises her eyebrows as she approaches, keeping the table safely between them.

Isadora: Well, didn’t realize future week meant we were throwing back to the past.

Farkle: [ lifting his head, glaring ] What?

Isadora: I’m just… you’re looking…

[ She isn’t sure what to say. Communicating is hard. ]

Isadora: You’ve certainly made a return to form, that’s all.

Farkle: Well, if nothing else is going to change then I don’t see why I should. The assignment for the week reminded me that nothing is more important than our goals -- that’s the only reason we’re at this school in the first place. And I guess something just… came over me.

Isadora: Yes, the ghost of Farkles past.

Farkle, unamused: Are you done wasting my time? And yours. Surely you would be better off spending your energy trying to figure out your paradoxical existence and decide which part of yourself you’re going to cut out to fully devote yourself to a set future at the age of sixteen.

Isadora honestly has no idea what to say. Partially because Farkle is being so waspish, and also because he sort of hit the nail on the head. She backs off without further comment, only glancing back over her shoulder once before marching away.

INT. AAA - CORY’S CLASSROOM - DAY

RILEY MATTHEWS is having lunch with CORY MATTHEWS, wisely avoiding the overwhelming atmosphere of the junior lunch period this week. As the two of them discuss her future potential, Cory is predictably all about one thing -- the dream. To him, Riley unequivocally has what it takes to make it, and she shouldn’t be giving that up for anything.

This is an uplifting take, and it’s nice that Cory believes in her so faithfully. But it’s not necessarily helpful, and doesn’t give Riley much to work with when it comes to outlining her plans in a tangible way for Eric to judge them.

She gives him a smile, turning back to her food as it falters somewhat.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As Riley heads back into the hall, she accidentally runs into CHARLIE GARDNER. They exchange apologies, Riley attempting to strike up conversation about check-in week. But Charlie isn’t all that talkative, politely claiming he’s running late for a meeting and really needs to go.

Riley watches as he jogs away, finding his behavior a little odd. He’s Charlie, and he’s always been odd, but now Riley is more attuned to it since they’re tentatively rebuilding a friendship.

She lets it drop for now, but the expression on her face makes it clear she isn’t finished with it.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is already warming up when Charlie arrives for their typical practice. Both of them are obviously a bit on edge due to the nature of the week, but at different levels of willing to talk about it. Zay laments how stupid the whole week is, whereas Charlie isn’t ready to give it any thought whatsoever.

Charlie can tell that Zay’s attitude goes deeper than annoyance, however, so he nudges him into talking about it. After a moment, Zay admits that he feels like maybe his approach in being realistic has instead turned pessimistic, and he’s being his own worst enemy.

Zay: My parents are both very logical people, okay? They totally support me and Jada in whatever we want to do -- and of course, we both chose artistic and ridiculous passions --

Charlie: True test of supportive parenting, they should be prepared for it.

Zay: But there was always this logical caveat nested in my brain. Like, I could do it, but it would take planning and perseverance and tons of hard work.

Charlie: And that’s wrong?

Zay: I don’t know. Just listening to everyone else talk about it, they’re all thinking big moves. They’re giving themselves the credit to be able to jump to another city or step up for a major audition on a whim. And I always thought I was as bold as the rest, but maybe I’m not. Maybe I’m selling myself short before I even go on sale. And I have no idea how to not be that way.

Charlie assures him that thinking logically and realistically isn’t a bad thing. They need a balance of both, he thinks, to actually survive a life in the arts. But if Zay wants to push his own boundaries and think bigger, then he needs to start by reaching as high as he can.

As if to demonstrate the notion of pushing boundaries, Charlie braves taking his hands when he comes to stand in front of him. Despite the fact that they’re at school, and anyone could walk into the dance studio at any moment. Zay glances down at their hands while Charlie asks him to think bigger, to think about what he thinks the highest bar he could reach might be.

They do the exercise back and forth for a bit, Zay saying something in his possible post-graduate trajectory and Charlie instructing him to go even grander. It escalates until it gets truly ridiculous, Charlie laughing as Zay says something like usurping Beyoncé fresh out of AAA and going on a world tour.

Sure, that’ll never happen, but the exercise does what it’s supposed to. It opens them both up, and Zay thanks Charlie sincerely.

He then tries to return the favor and allow Charlie the chance to talk about his future anxieties, but he’s not having it. He slips from his grasp, claiming they should really get to practicing.

Charlie: Can’t usurp Beyoncé if you’re not in top shape.

INT. BLUE’S APARTMENT - DAY

Isadora goes to visit BLUE NGUYEN after school, settling into his apartment. She’s eager to discuss the week’s assignment with someone who knows her well but is a removed neutral party, but it seems as though Blue is distracted. He’s got stuff going on with his new job -- since he can’t afford to go to college yet on his own -- and although he still attempts to be an avid listener Isadora can tell his mind is elsewhere.

She changes tracks instead, asking him what he’s working on. He seems grateful for the chance to talk about it, Isadora nodding along with a tight smile.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - DAY

Riley isn’t getting much work done on her own future outline, distracted by Topanga’s incoming visit for family dinner. She’s fixated on picking the perfect outfit and trying to seem put together, obsessively fixing her new short hair in the mirror.

Maya is on a completely different page, erecting a whole moodboard for her meeting. It’s like a flashy, diva science fair board, and she’s lovingly adding pieces and tweaking them to perfection. She questions why Riley is so panicked over the meal while adding a photo of Britney Spears to the collage, right next to Valerie De La Cruz under “career inspirations.”

Riley: You’ve never had dinner with my family, okay? Especially not recently.

Maya: Really hyping this up for me, honey.

Riley: Besides I… I don’t know. I just have this… there’s this feeling…

She can’t articulate it, but she trusts her gut. She knows the other shoe has to drop eventually, although she’s not sure in what regard or what that might mean for them. How the hell is she supposed to focus on the future when her present is such a disaster?

INT. BABINEAUX HOUSE - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Zay is leaning against the kitchen counter, lamenting his future troubles to DONNA BABINEAUX as she bustles around making dinner. She essentially echoes exactly what Charlie told him, albeit with her own touch.

Donna: Look, you work hard. You work twice as hard as the rest of the divas in that class to earn half the respect, and you’ve got the accolades to prove that you’re some of the best they’ve got. So to hell with reservations, you should not be concerned about reaching too high. Worry about the fall when you get there.

Convincing argument. Zay contemplates, nodding and gearing up to rearrange some things in his presentation for Eric.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

The full clan is assembled along with Maya, TOPANGA LAWRENCE avidly holding conversation with AUGGIE MATTHEWS. Cory mostly remains quiet as usual, smiling where appropriate and speaking when invited by others. Riley is quiet as well, unusually nervous.

Topanga lights up with a thought, remembering that there was something she wanted to let them all know. She happily declares that she’s decided where she wants to relocate permanently -- upstate! Out of the city, where her practice can really thrive and she can maybe expand.

But also hours away rather than minutes by train. This is a bombshell revelation, and Riley barely gets the chance to react to it before Topanga is already changing the subject again. She pulls Maya into conversation, wanting to know more about her and hear all about her time at AAA as compared to Riley’s.

Maya glances at Riley before taking up the conversational slack. Riley looks to Cory, wide-eyed, but he doesn’t have any optimism to offer. As this heavy reality settles over this dinner…

INT. GARDNER HOME - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

The more distant future is up for discussion at the Gardner table. ELEANOR GARDNER and AMBROSE GARDNER are curious to hear what this “check-in week” entails at AAA, and excitedly wonder what Charlie has thought about in regards to his future. ROSAMUND GARDNER and DAISY GARDNER listen plaintively, grateful it’s not them in the hot seat.

This is an uncomfortable topic, because Charlie doesn’t feel like he has any grasp on a future for himself. He barely knows who he is right now, he can’t fathom the future. He tries to give them something to chew on anyway, admitting that he loves dance a lot, but isn’t sure what he wants to do with that.

Rosie: Why are you at dance school then?

Charlie glares at her, kicking at her under the table. She sneers back, waiting until both parents aren’t looking to stick her tongue out at him. Eleanor jumps back into the brainstorming session Charlie never asked for, eagerly suggesting that he consider theology school if he isn’t sure what else he wants to do.

Eleanor: They have a great institution, Aggie loved it. They even have a performing arts major, which would be fun and still aligned with your interests.

Daisy, under her breath: Bridal college...

Ambrose laughs lightly, playing off of Daisy’s comment.

Ambrose: There you go, Charlie. Daisy’s onto something. You could get yourself a future and a wife, nice two-for-one.

Charlie: Oh, perfect. All figured out then. Ha ha.

Charlie’s words do not match his expression. He looks like he’s going to be sick, stabbing at his peas and forcing himself to swallow a forkful.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Before Charlie’s fork can hit the plate again, Maya’s moodboard hits the surface of Eric’s desk. She launches into professional and compelling presentation mode, giving a thorough, impassioned, and somewhat overwhelming explanation of how she’s outlined the next fifteen years of her career.

It all starts with arts college, of course, to which she’s selected a list of five in preference order that she will be applying to come next fall. From there, she has about four branching plans for each school that accounts for even the smallest details, creating an elaborate future tree that all eventually leads to the inevitable -- her name in lights, doing what she was born to do.

In the midst of Maya’s monologue, a classic AMBITION montage throws other juniors into the chair across from Eric to discuss their futures. Nigel makes commentary about how he just wants to act, but he figures going to AAA has given him plenty of practice for dealing with the drama of the industry. Yindra explains that she wants to head straight to Los Angeles, maybe major in music production but predominantly focus on building connections.

Yindra: Rumor has it you have a younger brother in the music industry. Want to share contact info, Mister E?

LUCAS FRIAR takes the chair across from Eric, and from the (: expression on his face we can tell that he’s not going to be making this easy for the well-meaning counselor. He essentially answers all of his questions with non-answers, spinning the question or throwing it back in his direction.

Eric: Come on, Lucas. It doesn’t have to be difficult. What exactly have you been thinking for your future?

Lucas: What have you been thinking for your future, Mister Matthews?

Eric: I’m sorry?

Lucas: You know, social security is running out. I’m doomed for retirement, but you still have a chance and should consider your options.

Eric: I don’t --

Lucas: In fact, you could be contemplating retirement right now.

Eric: How old do you think I am?

Lucas: You know what, you’ve got a lot to think about. Let me just get out of your hair. Best of luck with this next phase in your life, sir. Save a little social security for the rest of us provided climate change doesn’t kill us first!

Lucas slides out of the seat, propelling himself through the doors before Eric can even register what just happened. He rubs his face, totally confused.

A couple other A class students follow after.

Darby: I just don’t know if I’m cut out for this thing, you know? Sarah is always telling me I’m just a follower, but the world needs followers too, doesn’t it? Who would become social media influencers if there was no one to influence?

Eric: It’s okay if you don’t want to pursue the arts.

Darby: I mean, but what am I going to do instead? Follow in the footsteps of my mom? I won’t survive veterinary school, Mister E. And you can only cure lung cancer once!

[ Haley takes the seat next. ]

Haley: All I know is I want to stay in New York.

Eric: Why’s that?

Haley: Well, Clarissa is staying here because she wants to go to Juilliard to study music. I think she wants to be an orchestra or general music teacher, which would be so good for her. She’s like, sweet and patient but also sassy, and kids will like that. But I don’t wanna go too far, because we’re best friends and we’ve never been that far apart.

Eric: Uh huh…

Haley: Also, I guess if I want to try and be an actress and stuff, this is the place to be.

Eric: Do you want to try and be an actress?

Haley: Yes. I mean… not particularly. Maybe? It just feels like I’ve been following the path for so long it would be a major disappointment to have gotten this far and end up not following it through. It kind of... [ a beat ] It kind of feels like my whole crush on Charlie thing. It’s like, if it doesn’t end with us eventually riding off into the sunset together, then what was the whole point? [ a beat, then panicked ] Oh, God. Do you think I’ve been running on false hope this entire time?

Eric: Well, I wouldn’t say that --

Haley: You’re right! You’re right, haha, I’m just jumping to the worst case scenario. I’m going to stick with my flower shop with Clarissa plan and wait for Charlie to finally come around and come buy flowers for me and it will all work out. Thanks, Mister Eric.

Eric: … you’re welcome.

What a mess. But that’s every check-in week. It’s somewhat of a relief when Zay Babineaux walks through the door next, Eric greeting him cheerfully at the prospect of actually having a calm, rational conversation with someone.

Although a little nervous, Zay does a good job of laying out his new plans to Eric. The counselor listens eagerly, nodding along and seemingly impressed with some of the bolder ideas he has for paths to pursue post-graduation. When he finishes with an exhale, Eric applauds his creativity and ambition. Of course, he supports him considering he knows how hardworking and talented he is, and it’s obvious that his heart and soul went into thinking about this.

But on the other hand… Eric is obligated to point out the lack of back-up planning. Zay clearly has a lot of drive and ambition, which is excellent, but in throwing his reservations out the window to redo his plans he might’ve thrown them too far. What if he discovers he doesn’t want to pursue the arts after all? What if those high-reaching conservatories he applied to don’t accept him?

Fair points, but a difficult conversation to have with someone already feeling overlooked and stuck. The commentary hits a nerve and Zay grows defensive, arguing that Eric didn’t have all this criticism to give Maya. In Maya’s defense, she had fourteen thousand alternate routes mapped out, but that’s not what is really bothering Zay.

And so, for the first time, Zay has his diva meltdown. As he goes on to say, this is just more of the same that he’s endured since the moment he showed up at AAA. They’ve chosen their favorites and who they plan to back, and that’s clearly never going to change. He’s never going to be good enough for them.

Eric frantically tries to assure him that isn’t the case, but Zay is already marching out of the office. Yet another victim of the pressure of check-in week. As the grungy bass beat floats in...

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Consideration” as performed by Rihanna & SZA || Performed by Zay Babineaux

It’s been a while since we got some classic R&B funk from Zay Babineaux, and the frustration that is finally bubbling over the surface is the perfect catalyst to bring it. Zay does Rihanna proud as he saunters through the halls, angrily spitting out the tune. He does some light freestyling as he goes, expertly dancing around other students as they pay him no attention walking to their next class.

Still overlooked. Will you ever respect me? No…

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Charlie is on stage between run throughs, conversing with Haley and CLARISSA CRUZ. After some offhand conversation about how stressful the week is, during which Charlie is notably quiet, the girls claim they have to get changed before lunch. Each of them give him a quick hug.

While embracing Haley, Charlie seems to realize something. He’s hugging Haley -- and Clarissa -- because they’re friends. And no one is thinking anything of it. They bid him farewell, heading down the hall.

Charlie contemplates the matter as he finishes gathering his things. No one is watching his every move, calculating every single thing he does and trying to pick apart his motives. If that can be true for his friendship with them…

Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. Riley enters the wings and stops as the girls are finishing up their hugs with him, observing curiously. It bothers her that he seems so completely comfortable with them and yet continues to act so weird with her. She chews her lip, frowning.

INT. AAA - CAFETERIA - DAY

By the time she’s made it to lunch with Maya and Isadora, Riley has made realizations of her own. In her mind, there is obviously something deeper to the whole weirdness between her and Charlie that she’s not in on. There’s a greater conspiracy at play, and she’s going to get to the bottom of it.

Isadora: Riley, you know I love a good mystery. But this… is crazy.

Maya: Yeah, what do you think you’re going to “uncover?” This is Charlie Gardner we’re talking about.

Isadora: I repeat. You’re being crazy.

Maya: The most shocking thing you’re going to end up finding out is that all his GAP fare is actually from Banana Republic.

Riley is adamant, though, and a little miffed that they’re not supporting her. Maya points out another truth to the situation.

Maya: Do you think maybe you’re… deflecting a bit? With everything that’s happening with your parents --

Isadora: What? What happened now?

Riley: No, no, that has nothing to do with this. This is a long game, okay? Charlie has been weird with me since the day I showed up at Triple A, you can’t deny that.

Maya shrugs, already losing interest. Riley goes on to highlight how uneven his relationship has been solely with her, and she feels she deserves answers. She’s fixed and figured out problems before, and she’s going to get to the bottom of this one.

Isadora and Maya exchange a look, opting to leave Riley be. She’s happier when she has a project anyway, and happiness is in short supply these days.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

The techies are assembled in the back section, idly discussing the progression of check-in week. JADE BEAMON asks Nate how his meeting went, and he scoffs.

Nate: Easy. I could feed Mister E anything and he would’ve approved it. We all know they only really care about their superstar performers and their fast tracks to fame.

Doesn’t look like any of them are going to disagree. ASHER GARCIA mutters about not wanting to step into Eric’s office ever again, since every time they end up in there it leads to eventual disaster. DYLAN ORLANDO asks DAVE WILLIAMS if he’s thought about what he’s going to say in his meeting.

Dylan: Do you know what you want to do once you blow this popsicle stand?

Dave: There are popsicles here? Why am I only learning this now?!

Nate clarifies, meaning what does he want to do with his future. Dave pauses, thinking.

Dave: Might be nice to help combat the impending danger of climate change and issues with renewable resources by studying environmental sciences or maybe aeronautical space engineering in pursuit of space materials that could be used as new energy sources.

Jade: … oh?

Dave: Yeah. Ooh, or a rodeo clown!

The rest of them exchange content looks. There it is. Lucas arrives just as they’re moving past the nice moment, Nate turning the question on him and asking how his check-in went. Lucas scoffs, putting out an air of smugness as he claims he totally blew it off. Eric probably doesn’t even know what hit him after their meeting.

Whereas this sort of behavior from Lucas is usually brushed off, the pressure of the week (and well, the whole year) has worn patience thin. So rather than just rolling her eyes, Jade actually questions whether or not Lucas doing such a thing was a wise decision. Or a polite one, at that.

Lucas: Do you really care what the hell I do in my meeting with counselor Eric?

Jade: No, I’m only saying is being rude to someone who’s just trying to help guide you really something to be proud of?

Oh. There’s a tension to the techie brigade that hasn’t ever really been there before. Dylan clears his throat and tries to alleviate it, saying diplomatically that he doubts it’s a big deal. But Lucas isn’t used to his fellow techies stepping to him, least of all Jade, so he can’t let it go.

Lucas: Do you have a problem with me, Jade? Because if you are, you can just say it to my face.

Jade, defensively: I mean, I am, but to be fair you’re not really listening to anybody right now.

Nate whistles, grimacing. The conversation quickly escalates, Lucas trying to defend himself in a group that’s supposed to be non-confrontational while Jade -- and eventually, JEFF MONROE -- step up and argue against how bad his behavior has been this year. To be frank, it’s obnoxious, and more than that they’re concerned. They’re his friends, and he hasn’t been treating anybody much like friends as of late.

The frustration is valid and the intentions are good, but Lucas isn’t ready to be criticized. He deflects, feeling cornered and essentially hissing by telling them to back off before storming out.

Dylan and Asher immediately leap up to go after him, the former disappearing quickly but the latter not making it out before they come for him, too. Jeff points out that they’re not really helping with Lucas’s attitude when they back him up all the time.

Asher: Well, what am I supposed to do? Nothing?

Jade: No, but do you think you’re making anything better by just enabling his shitty behavior? I know you don’t -- you’ve told me you don’t. If you’re really his best friends, you could be doing more to combat it and make him… I don’t know, check himself.

Asher blinks, absorbing the blow from his other best friend. Knowing that she’s right, hating the fact that she is. Then he huffs, following the same pattern as Lucas.

Asher, sharply: Let me handle my own problems, alright?

Asher whips around, jogging after Lucas and Dylan. Jade shakes her head, exchanging an exasperated look with Jeff. Dave reaches forward and pats her on the shoulder.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Riley meets with Charlie at his locker, cheerfully greeting him and suggesting that the two of them partner together for their English assignment. Crazy, to still have other homework in the midst of all this chaos, but oh yeah, they’re also high school students. Charlie agrees, liking the prospect of working with Riley again even if he’s super stressed about everything else.

She accepts his agreement as commitment, happily telling him she’ll text him with ideas before flouncing off. She’s being a bit too peppy, even for Riley, but before Charlie can think on it too much he’s delivered an entirely new distraction.

Zay is marching down the hall, in a clearly worse mood than he normally lets show at school. Charlie frowns, jumping out to catch him from passing him by and pulling him back towards the lockers. He tries to get him to talk to him, asking what’s going on.

Zay recaps the gist of the meeting with Eric, getting worked up all over again. It’s obvious how deeply this hurt runs, regardless of how well he’s buried it down over the last three years. Charlie attempts to talk him down but he’s beyond that at the moment, totally emotionally overrun. So Charlie braves a different approach entirely, taking his shoulders and pulling him into a hug.

A hug. In the middle of the hallway. Where anybody can see. Zay tenses up at first, glancing around them with trained hesitation.

Zay: Charlie, man --

Charlie: It’s okay. [ a beat, softer ] It’s okay.

It’s okay, because he decided it’s okay. Charlie said it’s okay, and so it is. Zay hesitates for a moment longer before sinking into the embrace, actually gleaning comfort from it. Charlie closes his eyes, Zay tucking his head into his shoulder.

The rest of the school passes them by, not even giving them a second glance.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Angela is in the black box conversing with Harper, the two of them carrying on a rather pleasant conversation. When Angela asks about how she’s faring working with her admittedly stubborn boyfriend, Harper is spared from having to comment when Maya shows up early to class. She exchanges an enthusiastic hug with Angela, the latter commending her on her extensive and impressive future itinerary. Not that she had any doubts Maya would come correct.

When Angela shifts gears and quietly asks Maya about how she’s handling Katy’s relocation, she deflects and claims with diva levels of confidence that she’s fine. Unideal, but she’s trucking on regardless. Nothing to worry about here.

Other A class members begin to filter in, including Zay and Charlie. Zay catches the soft, fond exchange between Maya and Angela, another subtle reminder of the favoritism that has always existed in their class.

As Maya settles into her seat, she looks around before tapping Riley’s shoulder.

Maya: Where’s Izzy?

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Isadora is skipping performers lecture, wandering into the auditorium to try and catch the techies. If she’s having trouble finding an anchor elsewhere, then maybe a return to form is exactly what she needs.

She only finds four of them, Lucas, Dylan, and Asher still MIA. They’re hanging around on the stage, mood deflated and unusually quiet after their earlier conversation. Jade is focused on fixing a costume piece, but her hands are trembling as she works with the needle and thread.

Isadora’s arrival is a surprise to all of them, and she completely misreads the tone of the room. She makes a joke about how uncharacteristically grim they all are and it doesn’t go over well. Nate makes a backhanded comment about how she loves to just float back around to say hi whenever it’s convenient for her, and Jeff subtly seconds the notion by asking Isadora what she’s even doing there when she should be in class.

Isadora: Oh, so what, suddenly we’re all saints who never skip class? Didn’t realize how much could change in such a short amount of time.

Nate: Yeah. No kidding.

Isadora: … okay, what the hell is up with you guys?

Keeping it short and sweet, essentially, Lucas sucks. Isadora is like okay, tell me something I don’t know, but that doesn’t settle well with Jade.

Jade: Actually, Isa, you don’t know. Because you haven’t been here spending all year with him. You dropped him when you dropped the rest of us and haven’t had to deal with it since.

Whew, Jade is on fire today. Isadora blinks, wondering if all of them are seriously upset with her. She argues against dropping them, struggling to find a defense and stating once again that she didn’t completely drop tech.

Jeff: Okay. Sure.

Isadora: I didn’t. I told you guys, I’m doing both --

Jade: Are you? Really? Because I haven’t talked to you in like, months. You didn’t contribute any tech work to the last four weeks of performances, and we built all of the materials for Into the Woods on our own, including after someone destroyed it the first time around.

Isadora: Well, if you want to get pissed about that --

Jeff: You haven’t sat with us for lunch since the end of last year. You don’t participate in the group chat.

Nate: Which is dead anyway, considering everyone is in such a pissy mood with Lucas being a fucking demon since you totally dumped him for the spotlight.

Isadora snaps, growing defensive. She states she’s not going to take responsibility for Lucas’s horrible attitude, but she admittedly has trouble taking responsibility for her own faults too. Turns out pride runs just as deep in the techie brigade as it does in the performers, at least when they’re fracturing apart and no longer a united front.

Isadora: I tried to tell you all, I’m doing both --

Jade, harshly: No, you’re not, Isa! You’re not doing both! You dropped your tech responsibilities and you know it. [ choked up ] And you dropped our friendship too.

Isadora shakes her head, but no words come out to argue against her. Jade’s eyes are glossy, and she chews on her cheek to keep it together. Nate delivers the final blow, crossing his arms and scoffing.

Nate: Like mother, like daughter.

That’s one step too far. Isadora’s hurt flares to anger in an instant. She marches forward and steps up onto the acting block in front of Nate, putting her at the perfect height to land a resounding slap across his face.

There’s a second of silence, and then all hell breaks loose. Isadora seems to only recognize what she’s done as the heat of the moment passes, her emotion shifting to blank horror on her face. Jade jumps up to pull Nate away from her, attempting to make sure he’s okay until he shrugs out of her grasp in embarrassment.

In spite of everything that’s been said, it’s Dave -- normally cheery, oblivious Dave -- who ends the confrontation. He glares at Isadora over his shoulder as he jogs over to catch up with Nate.

Dave: What the hell are you still doing here?

The four of them storm out in a flurry, leaving Isadora standing alone on the acting block. The doors slam, and then she’s surrounded by the imposing silence of the auditorium. Alone on the stage, an island of isolation that she’s somehow created all by herself. No way to escape it.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Waving Through A Window” as performed by Dear Evan Hansen Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Isadora De La Cruz

Isadora starts the ode to feeling alone from her spot on the acting block, tiny against the vast setting of the empty auditorium. She spends the first verse trapped on it, seemingly struggling with how to dismount from the position she’s found herself in. Her Converse -- the same black ones that Lucas said were her favorite -- toe the line from stumbling off the edge, but she can’t bring herself to step off in any direction.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

As the number progresses, Isadora makes her way dazedly through the halls as classes are in session all around her. She’s on the outside looking in of every classroom, every social setting, separated by windows from her classmates.

She starts to pick up her pace as the bridge swells, ending up running down the hallway. Quiet settles for just a moment…

EXT. AAA - LUNCH COURTYARD - DAY

Until it explodes into the final third of the performance, Isadora giving the impassioned solo her all. A light snow is falling, sprinkling the scenery in frost. She’s spinning and dancing on the constraints of what used to be her and Lucas’s usual table, close ups of her Converse depicting that same risk of slipping right off the edge multiple times only to step back to safety at the last moment.

This time, the conceit of being on the outside looking in has been inverted. All around the windows looking into the courtyard, Isadora’s classmates and other AAA students glare at her through the glass as they fill in the background vocals. She can’t communicate with any of them, she can’t connect -- she’s simply on display, able to be ridiculed or criticized without any sense of how to get back to join them.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

As the song comes to an end, Isadora is back on the acting block. Out of breath, obviously emotional, staring down at the ground from where she stands only a couple of feet above it.

Still, she can’t bring herself to move, frozen with uncertainty.

INT. MINKUS HOME - NIGHT

Farkle is still working on his presentation, spread out on the dining room table. He’s working obsessively, unable to keep still as he researches details for his career trajectory and adds them to his poster board. Even while he’s thinking he’s moving, fingers tapping against his arms or shifting from foot to foot.

Either way, it’s an abrupt shift from how lethargic he’s been, which seems like a relief to JENNIFER MINKUS. She asks him how it’s going as she comes out for a quick snack before heading to bed, suggesting he not stay up too late. He waves off the concern, but his investment in the project is loud and clear.

Farkle: Everything else going on right now doesn’t matter. I’ve been stuck on -- and it’s all -- it’s meaningless. What matters is this. The dream. [ ripping something off the board without hesitation ] If I get this right, then everything else won’t matter.

A bit single-minded, but passionate. Passion is a good thing, so this is an improvement if anything. Jennifer gives him a quick kiss on the cheek that he lightly shrugs away from before she heads off, leaving him alone again.

Despite how much progress he’s making, the longer we stay with him the more obvious it is that he’s struggling. He has energy, that’s for sure, but it’s all over the place. He can hardly focus, restless and growing frustrated over nothing in particular.

He takes a second and covers his face, sliding his hands up and tugging at his hair as he exhales. Glancing forward, the spark of an idea glimmers in his eyes.

INT. MINKUS HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Rattles and bumps accompany a handful of pill bottles hitting the countertop. Farkle is digging through the family pill cabinet, searching for something in particular.

Finally, he finds it. A bottle specifically for ADHD, prescribed to Uri Minkus. He opens it and pops a couple of them, tossing everything back into the cabinet haphazardly.

Just has to get through the week. Just the week…

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Lucas is using his brick of a laptop again, room otherwise dark as he works. He’s got a few pamphlets on the bed next to him, and his browser has a dozen or so tabs open with different college sites.

He’s trying to actually take the future seriously, but it’s too much. His focus goes to key words on each page like “prestigious,” “well-rounded,” and “tuition.” The expectations and prices always feel far too high, making him frustrated.

Other words jump out to him too, none more intimidating than “passion.” College is for people who have ambition -- who have potential -- and Lucas knows he has neither.

But he knows this isn’t just going to go away. He switches back to his school email tab, a message open from Eric on screen. It mentions how poorly their first meeting went and requests that Lucas come in for another meeting as soon as possible so they can have a more constructive discussion.

Lucas scowls, slamming the computer shut. He pushes it off the bed along with the pamphlets, falling back onto his mattress. He yanks his blanket towards him and curls up towards the wall, hiding from it all.

Riley, pre-lap: You really don’t think we can do any better than that?

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley is picking away at her assignment as well, but she’s on the phone with Charlie as she works. They’re discussing their English assignment, and from the sound of it they’re not giving it very much effort considering everything else going on. Charlie suggests they keep it simple, but Riley makes a point of still insisting that they meet up after school sometime to work on it.

Charlie: Is it really that important to you?

Riley: … I just like to work face-to-face, that’s all. You know, collaborative communication.

Maya rolls her eyes from her spot on her bed. The conversation is interrupted when Cory raises his voice from the living room, making both girls jump. Topanga matches his volume a second later, Maya sitting up and locking eyes with Riley.

Riley: I… gotta go.

Riley hangs up without further explanation. Before she can say anything Auggie arrives at her door, looking wide-eyed and concerned as to what is going on out there. He asks Riley what’s happening, and she quickly pulls him into the room out of trouble before rushing out to investigate herself.

Awkwardly, this leaves Maya with Auggie. She glances at him and gives him a tight smile, nodding a ‘sup at a loss of what to offer otherwise.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - NIGHT

Riley leans around the doorway to the living room as Topanga and Cory escalate in their argument, obviously both impassioned over it. She can’t even find a time to jump in and try to break it up -- she doesn’t know where to begin.

It doesn’t take long to figure out the problem, however.

Cory: You can’t take them from me. You’ve already taken everything else. You can’t just decide you want to hit the reset button on your life and then take my son with you!

Topanga: Don’t be dramatic, Cory. I’ve told you exactly why but you’re refusing to listen -- the schools are far better upstate, and he’d have a far more stable lifestyle in a neighborhood that’s not the middle of Manhattan.

Cory: [ with a derisive laugh ] Stable? You’re talking about stable?

Topanga: Cory --

Cory: You’re the one who disrupted all of our lives in the first place! So don’t talk to me about stable, Topanga!

So that’s it, then. Topanga isn’t just removing herself from the equation of the Matthews family -- she intends to take Auggie with her. Riley is stunned, stepping into the room but not sure what to even say.

Topanga is done with the discussion anyway. She criticizes Cory’s theatrics again, pulling back on her coat and heading towards the door. She stops once she’s opened it, saying her last piece.

Topanga: I hope this won’t become a big thing. I am the litigator, remember. I think we know who would win a case.

This hits Cory hard. There’s silence in the room after she closes the door behind her, Riley watching her seemingly frozen father warily.

Riley: … dad?

And then it’s over. Cory collapses into a full break down, all of the emotion over the separation that he’s been trying to compartmentalize for the sake of everyone crashing down on him. Riley jogs over to help him and guides him towards the couch, doing her best to comfort him.

But it’s clear Riley doesn’t know how to deal with this development either. Her expression is blank as she hugs her father, totally forgetting about everything else piling up on her plate.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora is in the seat across from Eric, finishing up her discussion about the future. Although she does an excellent job of maintaining a poker face, the conversation between the two of them seems to reflect everything else she’s feeling conflicted about -- where she ends up depends on what she wants to do, and what she wants to do depends on who she is, and how does she begin to figure out who she is when she feels like she’s being pulled in a hundred different directions?

There’s a lot she could choose to dissect about the situation, but Isadora chooses to seek help for none of it. She merely nods along to Eric’s tentative guidance about her choice in schools, but she makes an escape when he tries to get her to talk about what else might be going on. The aloof mask might be fooling others, but it doesn’t fool him.

Today seems to be a particularly difficult day for meetings. SARAH CARLSON acts nonchalant in her one-on-one before bursting into tears, surprising Eric and causing him to cautiously pass the tissue box across the desk. Jade is already on thin ice emotionally and basically refuses to talk at all, speaking only about her future college programs for costuming. Her voice warbles even in discussing that, and Eric is sure if he asks her anything else there will be waterworks.

Dylan is a mess all his own, but more for Eric than himself. All things considered, Dylan is actually quite well-adjusted and happy with his plan for the future -- which is to say, he hardly has a plan at all.

Dylan: I might go to college, but also I don’t know. Seems like a lot of money, especially when I don’t really wanna do anything, you know?

Eric: … what are you hoping to do in the future, then?

Dylan, excitedly: Well, the main thing is to be a good partner, father, and homemaker. My dad had to do that all on his own when my mom died, you know, so he instilled the importance in me from an early age. Then I guess if I have time, I’ll keep making my videos. You’ve seen my vlogs, right? [ with a shrug ] As long as that keeps being fun, I figure I can do that along with being Asher’s number one fan.

Eric: … and you don’t… Dylan, I’m just wondering if… [ quickly ] you’re banking your entire future on Asher, and you don’t think maybe that’s a bit short-sighted?

Dylan: Actually, I’m near-sighted. But I wear contacts.

Eric looks as though he’s going to start crying.

He’s still carrying that exhaustion when Farkle gets in the hot seat, expressing far more “vision” than Dylan. He bullets through his presentation, speaking with confidence but also as if he’s out of breath. He’ll start sentences and then stop them or backtrack to start a different thought, nervously pulling at his hair when he gets distracted.

Once he’s finished, Eric offers him a bright smile. It’s a great plan, lots of ambition and forward-thinking, and he loves to see that. Farkle also clearly put a lot of heart into it, and Eric commends that. The future certainly isn’t worth investing in if there’s no heart.

However… he has to point out the fact that he lacks alternative options. He’s set himself up to have one path, and it’s clear that Eric is concerned about what happens if that path doesn’t work out exactly as planned.

Farkle, blankly: … what?

Eric: Again, I’m not saying that this isn’t an excellent plan. It just lacks periphery, that’s all. You want a contingency plan -- your options that you’ll consider if this one-way ticket doesn’t go as planned.

Farkle: I don’t -- this is the plan. This. There’s nothing else if -- I put a lot of hard work into this.

Eric: I know that, and I’m not saying this won’t work. I’m only suggesting that --

Farkle: I put everything into this. Everything. It’s going to -- you can’t tell me that it -- this is my future!

Eric can tell he’s not taking the conversation well. He attempts to placate, speaking delicately and stating that he’s proud that Farkle has such a sense of belief in what he was meant to do. Many people don’t have that drive, and that’s amazing. But it’s only wise to consider a contingency plan in the off chance that the dream… remains a dream.

Farkle seems as though he might actually have another diva meltdown, it’s written all over his face -- when suddenly he goes completely calm. He thanks Eric for his guidance shortly, gathering his things in a flurry. Eric encourages him to sit back down so they can discuss those options, but he claims he’s heard everything he needs to hear.

Farkle: My future is clear to me now, Mister Matthews. Thank you for your time.

He delivers the sentiment with disarmingly cool confidence. Then he spins on his heel and exits without another word. Eric looks like he’s going to go after him, but a phone call pulls him back to his desk. He assures the teacher on the other line that he’ll be right there, obviously having to go put out another fire.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Farkle walks at a swift pace away from the counselor’s office, but he doesn’t seem to have a set direction. Whereas his facade held up in front of Eric it’s starting to splinter now, his body trembling and breathing shallow. He dumps his presentation materials in the trash without looking, clearly desperate to be rid of them.

Haley: Don’t throw another tantrum.

Haley is just the first voice to address him, Farkle glancing over his shoulder as she passes him. But the glimpse of her is blurry, like it’s just out of the corner of his eye.

Charlie: Guess this isn’t turning out like you thought, huh?

Yindra: Only got yourself to blame that you’re unstable.

Harper: You’re nothing new.

Farkle flinches with every word thrown in his direction. He spins to try and catch them digging at him but whenever he turns to look they’re long gone, evading his anxious glare.

He walks faster, more sentiments from his classmates that have echoed in his head for three years following him through the hall.

Maya: Coward.

Farkle whips around as he slams right into someone -- Maya herself. She tosses him a sneer and tells him to watch where he’s going, only her expression shifts when she gets a better look at him. She hesitates, venturing another word.

Maya: Farkle… are you okay?

Farkle: I -- I’m --

He stares at her, as if just realizing she’s actually there. Then he pushes past her without further comment, jogging towards the auditorium. Maya spins to watch him take off, debating whether or not she should go after him.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - NIGHT

The accusations and voices are growing louder, what feels like the entire A class waiting for him in the auditorium as he stumbles in through the wings.

Lucas: Go on, keep spiraling for attention.

Isadora: As if he has a shred of decorum not to.

Clarissa: Hasn’t he had enough drama for a lifetime?

The word “enough” seems to echo particularly strong, leaving a ringing in Farkle’s ears. The jeers continue from all around him, spinning him into a frenzy.

Lila: God, you are such a disease.

Eric: Did you really think that this was going to work out? After --

Riley: Everything you’ve done?

Farkle, breathless: No… no, you forgave me.

Riley: And you think that makes a difference? You think that’s enough?

Farkle screws his eyes shut, turning away from her. He covers his ears but it doesn’t do any good, only accenting the blood pounding in his ears.

Harper: That horrible attitude of yours isn’t --

Farkle: Enough --

Stuart: And when are you going to start thinking seriously about --

Eric: Your future?

Lila: If you’re going just going to waste your existence --

Riley: Running your mouth --

Maya: Consumed with inferiority --

Angela: Do you remember what I told you, Farkle?

Jennifer: I’m sure your friends are --

Maya: Done.

Farkle: Enough --

Asher / Dylan: You don’t even know who you are!

Lucas: Should’ve known this is exactly how things would go.

Stuart: A fad.

Angela: Otherwise it’s just --

Eric: Lacks periphery --

Isadora: Fucking isolated --

Maya: Monster --

Zay: Is it finally --

Farkle: ENOUGH!

His fraught exclamation clears the chaos until there’s nothing but silence, resounding and somehow more imposing than the constant sound. Because it leaves him alone -- and he’s so tired of being alone.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Santa Fe” as performed by Newsies Original Broadway Cast || Performed by Farkle Minkus (starting at 00:22)

Farkle stands center stage, trembling, staring out into the empty house. Standing in the place he’s always felt destined to occupy, only now it doesn’t feel like he belongs there anymore. It’s a dream, nothing more, and he’s a nothing never meant to get it right.

It’s this cold realization that provokes the rawest and most spectacular performance from Farkle Minkus. As he barrels through the desperate plea to escape, it's as though we’re watching him go through the five stages of grief towards the dream that he let totally consume him for as long as he can remember.

And what it leaves behind is a broken shell -- without the dream, he decides, he’s nothing. Empty. “Trapped where there ain’t no future, even at sixteen.”

By the time he makes it to the last few lines and the volume drops to a soft piano, Farkle is back at center stage, right under the spotlight. His eyes are shining in the lights, seeming more fragile and smaller than he’s ever seemed before. As he riles himself back into the final emotional crescendo, he drops to his knees and expels everything he has left in him into those final notes.

Then he collapses in on himself, a huddled form isolated under the spotlight and otherwise surrounded by darkness. The song ends, sending us back into the quiet of the auditorium.

The only sound is Farkle’s muffled sobs, shoulders shaking as the screen smashes to black.

INT. GARDNER HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

Charlie is still working on his assignment, drawing a blank as his notebook page is completely empty. How is he supposed to paint a picture of his future when he can barely paint an accurate picture of the present?

He straightens up when his father enters the room, exchanging a comfortable back and forth with him as he settles into the armchair a few feet away and opens the newspaper to read. Charlie hesitates, chewing on the end of his pen before he braves the question of asking Ambrose for advice on his assignment.

Charlie: I know we already talked about it at dinner the other night, but I’m… I’m still having trouble. I was just wondering if you had any other thoughts or... words of fatherly wisdom?

Ambrose: Well, it’s funny that you think fatherhood comes with wisdom.

Charlie cracks a smile as Ambrose chuckles at his own joke. Then he gives it some thought, clearly taking the matter seriously. It’s easier to talk about it, just the two of them, rather than with the whole family.

Ambrose: Honestly, bud, I think that the most important thing is you choose what makes you happy. You don’t want to spend your whole life doing something that doesn’t feel true to you. Do you know what I mean?

Charlie, tightly: … yeah, I do.

Ambrose gives him a smile, going back to his paper. Charlie drops his head back down to his notebook, expression growing grim. His own father doesn’t even know what’s true to him. If that’s the key to a good future, then he knows he’s damned.

Charlie swallows hard, shutting the notebook.

INT. FOSTER HOME - KITCHEN - NIGHT

Isadora is at the sink, doing dishes for the house even though she clearly would rather be out of sight and out of mind. She’s gritting her teeth as she cleans, on edge from all of the pressure of the week.

STEPHEN VAN HERSCHING brings in the last of the dishes, giving her a grateful smile as he passes them to her. In an attempt to be an attentive parent and work on repairing his relationship with Isadora that seems to have been deteriorating lately, he innocently ventures the question of how school is going. She answers shortly, explaining the gist of the week.

Stephen is interested, eagerly inquiring as to what she’s been thinking about. Only he doesn’t phrase it all that well, and it comes off more like an interrogation than soft interest. Isadora doesn’t keep her mask intact after holding it up all day, snapping.

Isadora: I don’t know, okay! I! DON’T! KNOW!

She starts to go into a meltdown, trying to escape the conversation as KAREN VAN HERSCHING enters the room to see what all the commotion is about. She incidentally also criticizes Isadora for her noise level, stating that she’ll wake her younger siblings. The whole argument turns into a huge miscommunication, the foster parents mistaking her emotion and meltdown for increasingly rude behavior whereas Isadora just really needs space.

It continues to escalate until JERICHO TORRES sees what is going on and runs to get BEATRIX TORRES. She steps in and pulls Isadora out of the situation, flatly telling the Van Herschings that she’ll handle it.

Isadora: I don’t need to be handled! Stop talking about me like I’m not here! I’m here! I’m here! I’m not invisible, I’M HERE!

Beatrix doesn’t take it personally, persisting in removing her from the room. Karen and Stephen share a loaded look.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Riley has forgone the future entirely and is throwing herself into her new investigation. She scours through Charlie’s social media, currently on Instagram and scrolling way back into last year to look for any sort of indication as to what’s really going on with him. She knows for a fact that he’s all about promoting false narratives, but she doesn’t see where that involves her or when the lines are drawn.

Unfortunately, she makes the cardinal error of lurking. She accidentally double-taps and likes a photo from last year, letting out a loud oh, shit as she frantically unlikes it.

INT. GARDNER HOME - CHARLIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

That doesn’t stop Charlie from getting the notification, though. He’s just getting ready for bed when his phone lights up, displaying that Riley liked his photo. He frowns, opening the app and checking which photo she liked.

It’s a photo from around the time of Les Miserables, so a long way back. Even more concerning, it’s a photo of him and Zay during the phase where they were spending a lot of time together. Riley lurking is confusing enough, but someone zeroing in on him and Zay in particular…

Eric, pre-lap: Why do you think that is?

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Charlie is staring at the desk, seated across from Eric. He’s startled out of his daze, blinking and coming back down to Earth.

Charlie: What?

Eric: You said you were having trouble figuring out your plans. I asked why you thought that might be.

Charlie: Oh. Um, probably just the uncertainty of it. Lots to um… consider.

Charlie is not doing a good job of appearing in top shape like usual. Eric pauses, cautiously shifting gears and attempting to question if there’s anything else going on that Charlie wants to discuss. He mentions a couple of other issues his fellow students have been having in vague terms, gently finding ways to allude to possible identity issues that he might be having. He can remember being in the closet himself, and he evidently wants to help Charlie even if he’s not sure how to go about it.

Evidently, it doesn’t come across as intended. Charlie gets the message, but it only instills more paranoia in him that people are onto him. Riley and Eric are connected after all, and if they know, who else is going to end up in the know?

Eric tries to smooth things over and focus on the positive, highlighting how when Charlie graduates he’ll find a sense of personal freedom and maybe the future won’t seem so complicated to figure out. But with his anxiety, all Charlie can focus on is the here and now, and right now he knows he needs to escape. He thanks Eric for his help, getting up to go.

Flipping back to Eric, he poses a new question.

Eric: You’re absolutely sure there’s nothing you want to talk about?

As we rotate back around, it’s no longer Charlie in the hot seat, but Asher. He’s maintaining his composure, voice even and expression neutral as he confirms that he has nothing to discuss.

But Eric has had Asher as a student for three years, just like the rest of them, and he knows tells when he sees them. Asher might be shy, and has anxiety, but he’s cheery and pleasant more often than not. Usually when he’s in the chair opposite him, the conversation is enjoyable -- far from the strained, succinct exchange they’re having now.

When he rephrases the question, Asher states that he did the assignment and presented it, so he doesn’t know what else he’s expected to be discussing. In fact, he gives him the short version again, speaking slowly and clearly without tripping up once. Rehearsed, practically perfect. Eric relents, but he gives him a piece of advice before he goes that lands.

Eric: You’re well aware of your own limitations and needs, I know that. You demonstrate immense maturity, outshining many of your peers in that regard despite being younger. And you’ve never been trouble -- in fact you’ve helped prevent trouble on a number of occasions. That doesn’t go unnoticed. [ a beat ] I merely suggest that avoiding trouble doesn’t have to mean staying quiet. If you have something you think you need to say, then by all means, you should speak up. In fact, it may do more good than the harm you think it will.

For the first time all meeting, Asher’s neutral demeanor cracks. Uncertainty flashes across his features for half a second, then he pulls it back together and offers a nod.

Asher: Thanks, Mister Matthews. I’ll think about it.

Whether or not he actually will is impossible to tell.

A couple other students occupy the chair opposite him, Eric growing more flustered as they progress. It all culminates with Lucas’s second meeting, and he’s changed his approach from avoiding the topic entirely to going absolutely batshit with his proposals. He’s totally in his element too, acting like he owns the place. He’s got his feet up on the desk, arms behind his head and speaking with a breezy nonchalance.

Lucas: I looked into “space cowboy,” but as it turns out you need a degree in aerospace engineering as well as a license to boy cows, and that seems like a lot of work. So then I thought, well, if I don’t have the capacity to work, what else is there in this capitalistic hell we call society? Sure, I could probably enter myself in human cage fights and scrap to death for spare change, but I think that would hurt after a while and to be honest, I think I’d feel a bit like a piece of meat if I took up that mantle. Who would I be fighting to impress? The bourgeoisie? Hard pass.

Eric: I --

Lucas: But after some deep, probing soul-searching, I finally hit the one. [ a beat ] Trophy husband.

Eric: That --

Lucas: Now, I know what you’re thinking. To accomplish such a grand ambition, I’d have to get someone to like me. And that’s a pretty hefty task, believe me I know, but I’ve devised a work around. This is, as Dave would say, galaxy-brained thinking, Mister E. [ holding out his arms ] I’m going to put an ad on Craigslist.

He’s finally done it -- Eric Matthews is at a loss for words. He’s completely stumped as to where to take this conversation, as Lucas has driven it right off the cliffside and effectively derailed any meaningful discussion.

Lucas: My only trouble is that I cannot decide whether I should advertise myself as “seeking companionship,” or if I should just forgo that entirely and tell it like it is -- that I really don’t have anything to offer and I’ll pretty much do whatever as long as they pay me. But does that make me sound trampy? I’m white trash, yeah, but I do have standards, you know?

As much as he’s enjoying giving Eric an ulcer, Lucas’s fun comes to an end the moment the door opens behind him. His eyes widen as JACK HUNTER enters, immediately glaring at him with his feet up looking so high and mighty. He snaps at him for wasting all of their time, knocking his legs off the desk.

Jack: And get your feet off the table, who do you think you are?

Lucas: [ straightening up, sheepish ] I thought this meeting was a one-on-one.

Jack: It was. But you had your first chance, and as far as I can tell it looks like you’re fumbling this one too. So here we are, third time’s the charm. Don’t strike out.

Jack crosses his arms, standing next to Eric and watching as the counselor tentatively attempts to explain to Lucas that he brought him in because he was having difficulty getting an honest conversation out of him. He thought if he had another mentor present, he might be willing to take the discussion more seriously.

Lucas: [ under his breath ] Don’t flatter him.

Jack: Well, either way, I’m here. So let’s talk, shall we? Do you want to talk about why you’re insisting on being such a --

Eric: Thoughtful words, thoughtful words…

Jack: … why you’re making things so difficult for no reason, or do you just wanna jump right to the part where we try again?

Bravado dismantled, Lucas gets bristly as Jack forces him to actually consider his options for the future. With actual pressure to deliver, the issue becomes plain as day pretty quickly -- Lucas doesn’t want to think about the future because as far as he’s concerned…

Lucas, snapping: What do you want me to say? I don’t have any plans! [ cracking ] I have no talent and I have no drive, so what’s the fucking point? You want my future? Great, here it is -- I don’t have one!

Lucas jumps to his feet, knocking over a bunch of stuff before storming out. Eric flinches, obviously reaching an emotional breaking point himself this week. Jack frowns, clambering over the stuff on the floor to call after him.

Jack: Lucas! LUCAS JAMES!

He’s long gone. Jack turns to look at Eric over his shoulder, shaking his head in disbelief.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Loser” as performed by Glee Cast || Performed by Asher Garcia & Dylan Orlando (feat. AAA Juniors)

Lucas storms down the hall, passing right by Dylan leaning against the wall. He’s strumming the guitar opening to the number, only he doesn’t quite… look like himself. The discrepancy is in how he’s dressed, sporting a lot of dark hues for the kid who wears bright yellow at any given opportunity.

As the camera pans away from him, it slowly finds its way to Asher. He’s following the performance dress code, dressed completely unlike himself in dark jeans and a grungy long sleeve crew neck. However, it’s the snapback that gives it away -- they’re both channeling Lucas, some sort of weird representation of him rather than actually themselves.

Asher kicks off the song, Dylan sauntering up still playing his guitar as they stride through the halls. They both look directly at the camera, the breaking of the fourth wall creating a pointed discomforting feeling. They look away at the end of the first verse, turning to face one another with the same sullen expressions on their faces. Dave and Nate join them, dressed similarly, Dave delivering the “yo,” before they launch into the rest of the song.

From there, the general conceit of the number becomes crystal clear. Wherever Lucas is -- in class, in the booth, walking through the halls, the crew of them are right behind him echoing the same exhausted sentiment. He can’t escape it no matter where he goes, and as the song progresses, more and more of his classmates join the throng. I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me? Why don’t you kill me?!

In the bridge, as the music seems to play backwards and in warped tones, the image of the A class becomes warped as well. They’re seated along the edge of the stage, looking towards the booth, but it’s all jarring close ups and looped moments. It’s familiar, but it’s not reality. A representation of how easily someone’s perspective can be bent...

Back in the hallway, there’s one potential light moment of reprieve, when Dave seems to forget the message and changes into more positive thinking (“I’m a driver, I’m a winner,”). But Lucas glares at him, then shoves him out of frame.

By the end of the song, what feels like the entire student body of AAA is marching behind Lucas as he moves through the halls, a resounding chorus asking why no one will kill them.

It only comes to an end when Lucas finally snaps, whipping around and shouting at them.

Lucas: Oh my God, could you SHUT. UP?

Only when he spins and marches away, Dylan, Asher, and the rest of them aren’t there. The hallway is completely empty.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas isn’t the only one who feels like he’s losing his mind. Charlie is on edge as he makes his way through the halls, nearly bumping into people and apologizing offhandedly.

Zay is waiting for him by his locker, noticing his odd demeanor immediately. He straightens up and asks what’s going on and if he’s okay, but Charlie isn’t focused on that.

Charlie: What are you doing here? You can’t just stand at my locker.

The statement isn’t said harshly (distractedly would be a better descriptor), but it still stings. Zay tries not to take it personally, instead trying to figure out what the hell is up with him. Charlie is over it a second later anyway, starting half of a conversation while glancing over his shoulder. He spins his locker combination but doesn’t open it, hands shaking.

Zay takes his upper arm and gets him to look at him, asking again if everything is okay. Charlie hesitates, examining him and trying to decide whether to talk about any of it. But he knows Zay is already having a rough week, and he doesn’t want to burden him with his stupid bullshit that he still hasn’t been able to get over after eight months. He’s already being unfair to him and he knows it, not to mention he fears that if he starts opening up, he won’t be able to stop.

So he deflects instead, claiming everything is fine despite every obvious sign that it isn’t. Distracted and without thinking, he leans forward and gives Zay a kiss on the cheek before jogging off to get away.

Zay is stunned, freezing and absorbing the moment. He looks around them to make sure no one else noticed, then looks over his shoulder with a bewildered frown at the direction Charlie ran in. But he’s already long gone.

INT. AAA - DRESSING ROOM HALL - DAY

Charlie darts into the dressing room hall, running right into Clarissa and Haley. They greet him, asking him how his meeting with Eric went. Clarissa notices his weird behavior first, pointing out that he’s sweating. They ask him if he’s okay and he breathlessly states he’s fine, although his delivery is not convincing.

Haley: Are you sure? You look kind of pale.

Clarissa: We can walk you to the nurse?

Haley: Or we can talk about --

Charlie: I can’t. I can’t talk -- I can’t talk right now. I’m sorry, I have to --

Charlie darts away from them, pushing deeper into the auditorium. Clarissa and Haley exchange hesitant looks, obviously wondering if they should go after him or leave him be. This week has everyone in hysterics, after all.

INT. AAA - COSTUME LOFT - DAY

Charlie doesn’t find sanctuary until he gets to the costume loft, relieved to find that no one else is around. He lets out a painful exhale and stumbles onto the platform, legs shaking so much that he basically collapses into a pile of costumes. He starts to push himself back up but then pauses, giving up and laying back against them in defeat.

He presses his palms to his eyes, trying to talk himself down from the panic. The words start as variations on telling himself to breathe and transform into a prayer, Charlie murmuring a plea for God to be with him before repeating a Bible verse he’s got memorized like the back of his hand. He continues to mutter it to himself, until he can breathe and the room stops spinning.

When he finally pulls his hands back from his face, Charlie stares listlessly at the ceiling. Wondering how he ended up like this, fearing that it’s always going to be this way.

That he’s never going to be able to properly breathe again.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Exhale” as performed by Sabrina Carpenter || Performed by Charlie Gardner

Whereas the other performances of the episode have been surprisingly grand and a bit of a spectacle, the power of this request for a reprieve is in its simplicity. There’s no fanfare, no blurred lines between what’s real and what is not, just Charlie and his soft tenor and his sheer, utter exhaustion.

The entire first verse and chorus stay solely on Charlie, slowly easing out of a close up until we’re further and further away from him, making him feel smaller than he is. The second verse takes us back into the darkened auditorium, Charlie walking behind the back curtain along the wall where all of the Class 2 x 4s are.

Every year, the freshman class adds their plank of wood to the wall, signing with their initials. It’s an AAA tradition, and it’s what Charlie focuses on as he wanders aimlessly. On “try to keep a sense of knowing who I am,” he lightly brushes his fingers over his own initials from two and a half years ago. His expression twists as he sings “I try to be an angel but I don’t think I can,” holding back tears as he slouches back against the wall to finish the verse.

He rounds out the number back in the costume loft, managing to push himself into a sitting position and propping his elbows on his knees. He forces himself to breathe as he finishes out the song, then puts his head against his knees and shuts out everything else.

Breathing, for just one second, as if that’ll be enough.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Lucas is at his locker, a storm brewing behind his eyes. Riley spots him from down the hall and jogs over to join him, seemingly happy to see him. She starts talking to him eagerly, lamenting how crazy the week has been and how relieved she is that it’s almost over.

Searching for a safe place to vent, she almost starts talking about her parents given how that has been weighing on her all week as well, but unfortunately Lucas is far from stable ground right now. He interrupts her, voice dull.

Lucas: Why are you talking to me?

Riley: … because I -- I thought we talked about this. I thought when we talked during group week --

Lucas: Well you thought wrong. You’re wasting your time, and I’m wasting everybody else’s, so don’t bother.

Riley: … what are you talking about? Lucas --

Lucas: Riley, I...

He locks eyes with her, the sentiment hanging unfinished between them. She holds his gaze, wide-eyed, waiting for him to speak.

One step forward, two steps back. Whatever he might’ve said, he chooses not to, too embroiled in the chorus of negativity echoing in his own head. Riley could do much better than him, he knows, so it’s about time she realized it too.

Lucas, half-heartedly: Just leave me alone.

He shuts his locker, marching away from her. Riley stares after him, completely dumbstruck.

INT. AAA - AUDITORIUM - DAY

Zay is in the auditorium, looking for Charlie. He happens to run into someone else on the hunt, Angela entering through the wings and greeting him. She questions whether or not he’s seen Farkle, as she has been trying to catch him all week and seems to be constantly missing him. Zay claims he hasn’t.

Whereas it seems like he wants there to be more to say, Angela thanks him and starts heading out. There’s a moment where it seems like Zay might just swallow the dismissal, like he always does, but this time something in him snaps.

Zay: Don’t you have anything you’d like to say to me?

Angela whips around, a bit surprised. She pleasantly asks if there’s something he wants to talk about, which seems to frustrate him more. At first he brushes off the question, but then doubles back and states that there is. That there’s a toxic, broken culture here at AAA, and in some ways it's her fault.

This kind of declaration is unusual coming from Zay, and Angela is understandably taken aback. She tries to defend herself but he doesn’t let her interject, growing more worked up the more he gets to speak. He laments the fact that this school is so built on favorites, and Angela has been feeding that culture since day one. She’s still doing it, making a point of enthusiastically greeting Maya and making special time to catch up with Farkle while saying fuck all to the rest of them.

Zay: Don’t you think that I might want to catch up with the teacher who was supposed to have been fostering my talent for two years? Don’t you think Yindra, or Nigel, or Haley or literally anybody else other than the Diva Twins might want a scrap of your attention?

Angela: Zay, I fully believe that all of you --

Zay: It’s easy to say you believe in someone, Miss Moore. Showing up for them is a different story. [ a beat ] And you chose who you’re backing from the first time we set foot on this stage.

He says his piece, storming past her. Angela absorbs the blow, knowing that the emotion is somewhat misdirected but still feeling the sting. She stands alone on the stage, overcome with nostalgia and wondering if the impact she left behind was all that good after all.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Riley is at a limit of her own, breaking down in the chair across from Eric. This meeting has nothing to do with the future -- this is all about right now, and it’s clear that Riley is losing her ability to cope. Still, there’s nothing she hates more than crying in front of others, so she’s a sniffling, embarrassed mess as she laments the state of affairs. The tissue she’s gripping in her fist is less tissue and more so just shreds after so much crumpling and twisting.

She admits that she’s been using other people as her distraction, but the fact is she can’t keep running from it. Her life is in shambles, and now her family is legitimately falling apart. She’s been trying to keep things together, but whenever she gets one thing straightened out another just crashes out of nowhere and she can’t keep up with it. She can’t do it anymore.

Eric frowns, getting up from his desk. He pulls over the other chair against the wall, sitting next to her instead of separated behind administrator lines.

Eric: I’m swapping hats for a second here. Counselor out, uncle in. I’m very versatile, I don’t know if you knew.

Riley can’t help but laugh, although it’s weak. Eric goes on to say that he genuinely can imagine how she’s feeling. This week in particular has been a challenge unlike anything he’s felt in a long time, and there are days where he wishes he didn’t have to come in and face it.

Eric: But, and I know this isn’t what you want to hear, the only thing I can say is to keep doing your best. Keep being compassionate, even when it’s hard.

Riley: How? I mean, how do you do that?

Eric, with a shrug: It’s the only thing I know how to do. I can’t imagine moving forward without it.

An honest confession, and something that seems to resonate with Riley. And if Eric is still going after all these years, then she supposes she’ll be able to as well. Somehow.

She dabs at her eyes, offering him a smile when he reaches out and pats her shoulder. A sorely needed moment of unity amidst all of the destruction.

INT. AAA - TECHNICIAN’S BOOTH - DAY

Asher and Dylan have followed Lucas into the tech booth, the latter still in a foul mood. Dylan is doing his usual approach of trying to lighten the mood and echoing Lucas’s derisive commentary about how stupid all of this is, but Asher is hanging back. He’s hesitant as Lucas collapses into the rolling chair, once again bluntly claiming that his future is shit anyway, so why should he even bother?

Asher, after a moment: Well, don’t you think that’s a bit self-defeatist?

[ The booth goes quiet. Lucas glances at him, obviously surprised he’s arguing the counterpoint. ]

Lucas: Huh?

[ More quiet. Asher glances at Dylan, who is staring at him, wondering what he’s going to do next. ]

Asher: I’m just saying. By deciding prematurely that you have no future, you’re sort of inherently guaranteeing that you won’t have one. Self-fulfilling prophecy, we learned about that in English.

Lucas: You think I pay attention to anything Matthews has to say?

Asher: [ with waning patience ] My point is that if you don’t take the time to really think about what you can do, then you’re right, you won’t do anything. And I think that would be a pretty big shame.

Lucas, with a snort: Please, tell me how you really feel.

There’s an odd tension in the air that’s never been there between the trio before. Or perhaps it has, growing more and more potent the longer they’ve elected to ignore it. The dismissive comment only exacerbates it, Asher frowning. He steps past Dylan and approaches the lighting board, standing face-to-face with Lucas.

Asher: You want me to tell you how I really feel?

Lucas: If you think you can.

Asher: Fine. [ dropping his bag on the table pointedly ] I think you’re being stupid.

Lucas scoffs, but Asher isn’t done. He elaborates, pointing out all of the ways that Lucas has been sabotaging himself this entire year when it feels as though things could improve even a fraction if he just cut it out. It’s an impressive catalogue of points, being delivered expertly from someone who has clearly been paying close attention and bottling it all up.

Asher: You’re being stupid about this assignment, when if you just took it seriously you might realize you could actually do lots of things with the right resources. That’s what Eric and Jack are there for.

Lucas: Yeah, well --

Asher: You’re being stupid about Riley, who has been nothing but nice to you despite you treating her like garbage.

Lucas, defensively: Don’t talk about her --

Dylan: [ with a nervous laugh ] Guys, come on --

Asher: And you’re being stupid about the way you treat everyone else, including people who just want what’s best for you. You keep pushing, and pushing, and it’s like you want the rubber band to finally snap. [ exasperated ] Look at that and tell me it’s not fucking stupid!

Lucas: Well, what do you expect? Who are you talking to?

Asher: That’s the worst part about it! That’s what’s so frustrating is that I know you’re not stupid, Lucas. I know that, but it’s like you don’t. Either that or you just don’t care, and I don’t know which one is worse!

The can of worms has been opened, and it’s not going to be put away so easily. Dylan attempts to deescalate the discussion but it just keeps spiraling, Lucas and Asher’s voices rising the more they go back and forth. Asher complains that all they’re trying to do is support him because that’s why they’re friends, and all he’s doing is rebuffing them. Lucas finally rises from his seat, glaring at him with at least his height dominance back intact.

Lucas: Oh, you wanna know why we’re friends? [ flatly ] It’s because you wanna fix me.

Asher: What the hell are you talking about?

Dylan: Guys --

Lucas: Come on, we both know it’s true. You’re the reasonable one, put together and perfect, and I’m the trainwreck. It’s great, too, because it’s like a double win. I get you to do all this crazy and ridiculous stuff, and for five seconds you feel cool. Then you get to go home to your perfect house and your perfect family and forget about it, until the next time you want to let loose. I make you feel good about yourself.

Dylan: Hey, seriously --

Asher: Is that seriously what you think?

Lucas: [ mockingly ] It’s what I know! I am just like the most fascinating little mess for you to tidy up, to placate to that incessant, neurotic need you have to put everything in perfect order. Only now I’m not doing it right, I’m not running right anymore, and isn’t it so annoying when your perfect little toy train won’t run off the tracks exactly the way you want it to.

Asher, voice cracking: I can’t believe --

Lucas: Well, I’m sorry, spaghetti! I’m sorry that you have to settle and deal with one thing in your life that isn’t absolutely fucking perfect!

Dylan, harshly: HEY!

Dylan has moved forward, nearly stepping between them and holding out a hand to keep Lucas back. It’s as if his presence snaps him out of it, Lucas staring at him and realizing just how intense the situation has become. Dylan is looking at him with wide eyes, his anger only lasting as long as it took to get them both to hold off and having faded to shock.

Asher’s expression is harder. He’s glaring at Lucas, eyes glassy, clenching his jaw. Lucas hesitates, clearly wanting to say something, but Asher moves before he can speak. He snatches his bag off the table, clutching it close as he marches to the steps and exits out of the booth without another word.

Dylan whips around and watches him leave, mouth hanging open slightly. Lucas stares after him, expression shifting to something like hurt, before he spins away from the door and crashes back into the chair. He stays facing away from Dylan, who is still standing frozen in the middle of the booth.

Lucas: Well? Aren’t you going to go after him?

There’s a pause. Dylan blinks, returning to a state of impressive calm in spite of the chaos. He shifts back towards Lucas, eyeing him sadly.

Dylan: Yes. But I want to make sure you’re okay, too.

Lucas: [ snorting ] Why?

Dylan: … because I know you don’t mean it. I don’t know what’s going on, but… I know you didn’t mean it.

Lucas can’t look at him. He chews the inside of his cheek, picking at a hangnail.

Dylan: We’re friends, Lucas. We care about you. Asher wasn’t lying about that. [ a beat ] And when you decide you want to do something about this, we’ll be there. When you need us... we’re going to be there for you. No matter what.

Lucas has picked at the hangnail badly enough to draw blood. Dylan doesn’t wait for a response, looking at him for a moment longer before descending down the steps and leaving him alone.

Lucas curses under his breath, hiding his head in his hands.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya’s phone lights up on the bed, Katy’s picture filling the screen. Maya enthusiastically moves away from her future moodboard and reaches to grab it, picking up and excitedly greeting her. They catch up on how Katy is settling in back home in Vermont, and Maya gives her the low down on how insane the week has been but how bright her future feels. She boldly assures her mom that she’s great when she asks, repeating how well the week went for her.

But that’s not what Katy is asking, really. She knows her daughter better than she knows herself, and she knows how good she is at deflecting. So when she questions once again is everything is really fine…

The walls come down. Maya chews her lip and tries not to let the tears fall but they do anyway, the facade crumbling as she lets out a shaky “no.” Then it’s spilling out of her, all of the things that are far from going right. How it feels like her entire class is imploding, how she’s willing to do whatever it takes for the dream but being cut throat has become exhausting, how no matter how obsessively she outlines her future she’s gripped by the fear that it isn’t going to pan out. That she’s going to be a failure, just like her father and like 90% of the people who walk the halls of Adams.

Most predominantly, more than any of that, she misses Farkle Minkus.

Maya, tearfully: I know I said I was done with him, I told him we were… but I don’t know. I don’t know what I want. He hurt me, and what I’ve always thought is that when someone hurts you, you get rid of them. That’s what we did with dad, basically. [ a beat ] But then… I don’t know.

Katy: Baby girl, few people in your life are going to hurt you like your dad did.

[ Maya scrunches her face, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. ]

Katy: I wish I had the right answer, but things like this are never going to be obvious. There will always be pros and cons to every decision. But from what you’re saying to me… it sounds like you don’t want to say goodbye quite yet.

Maya lets out another whimper, pressing her palm to her eyes. When she resurfaces, she lets out a sigh and shakes her head.

Maya, weakly: I wish you were here.

Honestly, don’t we all. Katy returns the sentiment, Maya settling back into the corner of her bed and staying on the phone with her mom for a while longer.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Riley and Charlie are working in the English classroom, the only two still around after school on Friday. Riley has lost her investigative fire after her conversation with Eric, treating the project as exactly what it is and nothing more.

For what it’s worth, this seems to loosen up some of the awkwardness between them. For once, they’re not both trying to pick apart one another’s every move. They actually work quite well together, diligently getting the work done and even exchanging some tired but entertaining banter while they go.

Once they declare they’re pretty close to finishing, Charlie claims he needs to go run and grab his dance duffle from the practice room where he left it. When he gets back, they should be able to wrap this thing up. Riley nods agreeably, focusing back on the final touches while he jogs out of the room.

The quiet is disrupted by Charlie’s phone, vibrating on the table top. Riley glances at it, but then forces herself to ignore it. She’s done snooping after all… only the contact name that lights up the screen catches her interest.

After a moment of indecision, Riley glances at the door before gently sliding the phone closer to her so she can read the lock screen. Over the saved background of Charlie with his younger sisters, a couple of messages from Zay sit unread on the screen.

“Hey couldn’t find you after school, you still here? you seemed a little out of it yesterday. hope everything is okay”

“Craziest thing happened with miss moore, i’ll tell you all about it. in the usual studio”

The last text message comes through as Riley is taking the phone into her hands, shock taking over her features as she reads it.

“Love you”

Riley is staring at the phone, speechless.

Charlie: What the hell are you doing?

She shoots her head up to find Charlie standing in the doorway with his duffle. He’s staring at her, mortified, and she’s mirroring his panicked expression to a tee.

Busted.

INT. AAA - HALLWAY - DAY

Zay glances up from his phone just in time to avoid ramming right into Harper. Both of them apologize, laughing off one another’s pleasantries. She asks if he has a second to talk, gesturing him into the black box.

INT. AAA - BLACK BOX THEATER - DAY

Harper is calm as she explains that Angela told her about their confrontation on the stage. Zay jumps into defensive mode, claiming that he doesn’t regret what he said.

Harper: I understand, Zay. I agree with you.

Zay: Well, I -- oh. Oh, good. [ a beat ] Really?

Harper cracks a smile, sauntering back over to join him at the desks. She settles into sitting on top of one, admitting that she knows exactly what Zay is talking about and she thinks Angela knows it too. When she told her about what happened, she did not seem like she was denying her fault in the situation.

Realizing that this environment might be safer than he thought, Zay hesitates before really getting into what’s been needling him all week --and really, all year.

Zay: I just don’t get what else I’m supposed to do. It’s like, I’m doing everything I’m supposed to. I’m trying and I’m trying and giving everything I’ve got. And all I know is that when I went out there in the real world, when we put our stuff to the test, I came out on top. Kossal looked at all of us and chose me, I was identified as the top player.

Harper: Rightfully so, I’m sure.

Zay: I was the one worth acknowledging, worth accolading, worth… stepping up to be proud of. So how can that be true, but in every other way it’s the opposite? I’m still just shoved into the background?

Harper empathizes. She states she knows exactly what he’s talking about -- favoritism, especially in their industry, is as old as time itself. Not to mention the layers being a person of color adds to that struggle.

Harper: I recognize it, believe me. You work three times harder than everyone else, and no one respects it. You have to be ambitious and driven like the others, yet also be kind and well-liked and not ruffle any feathers.

Zay: Courtesy is the deadest art form at AAA, yes.

Harper: The unfortunate truth is, teachers aren’t perfect. [ off his eye roll, smirking ] Shocking, I know. But we make mistakes just as easily as students do, and unintentional favoritism is likely the most common offense. That has nothing to do with you, though, as you’ve clearly figured out.

She goes on to explain that the other unfortunate truth to an industry like theirs is that sometimes, even your very best is never enough. There are always factors you can’t control, people more talented or better connected than you, and a million reasons to write you off versus the handful of people will choose to acknowledge to uplift you. It’s not an easy world, as she’s sure he’s well aware.

Harper: I don’t know if this will make you feel better or worse, but the truth is it all comes down to endurance. How long you can take it, how long you can stick it out until it ends up being your shot. The true test of who lives the dream is who hangs on… and who gives up.

Not all that inspiring, but honest. Zay evidently appreciates it as he nods, thanking her for taking the time to listen. Despite how rough the transition has been, he does think she’s a good teacher. The comment seems to resonate with Harper, who gives him a grateful smile.

INT. AAA - CLASSROOM - DAY

Charlie breaks the ice first, dropping his duffle bag as he darts into the room. He snaps at Riley for looking through his things, snatching the phone out of her hands in a frenzy. She flinches, trying to regain her bearings on the situation. She stammers out an apology, Charlie turning away from her and reading the texts that she saw for herself.

Silence settles over the room again. Charlie stays turned away from her, no longer breathing. Riley slowly rises to her feet, not sure what to say next.

Riley: That… um. [ tentatively ] Are… are you -- ?

Charlie: You can’t tell anyone.

Charlie whips around, locking eyes with her. His eyes are wide and he’s shaking again, already on the verge of another panic attack. Only this one is bound to be worse, because the looming fear that he’s going to be found out is now a very real threat.

Charlie: Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone.

Riley: I wasn’t going to --

Charlie, hyperventilating: You can’t. Riley, you can’t. You can’t tell anyone, okay, you can’t -- !

Riley: Charlie. Charlie!

Riley reaches out and takes his arms, getting him to stop cold. She holds his terrified gaze, aware of how he’s literally shaking in her hands.

Riley, sincerely: I would never tell anyone.

There’s an excruciatingly tense moment between them, Charlie having to determine whether or not he believes her. Neither of them move, neither of them breathe. You could hear a pin drop.

Then he lets out an exhausted exhale, nodding and muttering an affirmation. He slips from her grasp, stepping around her and collapsing back into his seat at the desk. Riley stays where she is for a moment, attempting to process what the hell she just learned.

Once she catches up, she spins back to look at him with his face hidden in his hands. She lightly claims she knows what he’s going through -- well, not exactly, but being pansexual definitely gives her a sense of what he might be experiencing. She knows she was lucky to not have many factors keeping her from sharing that side of herself, and she’s sorry that he feels like he does.

Riley: I can’t imagine what that must be like, trying to hide such a big part of yourself. What you might feel like you have to do, like holding things back and… [ realizing ] controlling the narrative.

The Confessions posts. Suddenly, it feels glaringly obvious.

Charlie, under his breath: Fucked. It’s all fucked

Riley frowns sympathetically, cautiously sliding back into her seat next to him. She looks at him, searching for something to say that might be easier to discuss.

Riley: So… Zay?

Charlie takes a deep breath, still hiding in his hands. But after a moment, he nods. Riley smiles.

Riley: That’s great. Honestly, that’s amazing. It’s about time someone appreciated Zay for how wonderful he is. I guess I noticed he had been happier, actually, I just wasn’t sure… [ a beat ] How long?

Charlie lifts his head, inhaling slowly. When he speaks, although he’s backed off the ledge, his voice is shaky.

Charlie: Eight months. [ softer ] But feels like longer.

Riley’s eyes widen, stunned. That long and nobody knows… but on the other hand, it’s hard not to be endeared. It’s so obvious from how delicately he talks about it how much the relationship means to Charlie.

Charlie: I know it’s so stupid. All the stress I’m putting myself through.

Riley: It’s not stupid.

Charlie: It is. Like, maybe it’s not, but it is. I’m just still trying to… I’m not sure how this is supposed to work. It’s like I’ve got this one version of reality, where like… everything is in black and white. There’s good and there’s bad and there’s black and there’s white, and it’s my job to stay clearly on one side. And I do, I do a good job of it, and that’s why the show goes on. It’s not ideal, but it’s manageable. It’s what I know, and you can settle for what you know when you don’t know any different.

Riley listens attentively. Charlie is clearly working through these thoughts for the first time, hesitating and grimacing and stammering over the words. The next statement, however, he says with breathless certainty.

Charlie: Then, there’s Zay, and it’s like… we’re in technicolor. [ a beat ] How are you supposed to go back to settling for black and white when you’ve seen the rainbow?

Riley smiles again. Her voice is soft when she tells him that it’s going to work out, and he’s going to figure it out. When he questions how she can be so certain about that, she admits that she isn’t, but it’s kind of her thing, being hopeful. As someone important reminded her, it’s really all they have.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Rainbow” as performed by Kesha || Performed by Riley Matthews & Charlie Gardner

Riley starts off the duet tentatively, transitioning pretty smoothly from their conversation (“I used to live in the darkness / dressed in black act so heartless / but now I see that colors are everything”). She carries through the first verse, smiling lightly and encouraging Charlie to relax and allow himself a smile as well. In this moment, they’re safe. It’s okay.

Charlie picks up the second verse. He brings a little more emotion to the arrangement, clearly needing the catharsis of finally getting to be open for the first time in what feels like his entire life. The two of them pass the harmonies back and forth, performing well as a duo when the situation isn’t forced in some unidentifiable way. Finally both on the same page.

As the last verse wraps up, Riley reaches forward and takes his hand. They keep their fingers joined together straight through to the end, the camaraderie obviously a relief to Charlie.

Focus hangs on the hand hold, a symbol of coming together when it feels as though everything is falling apart.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Isadora swings by Eric’s office, poking her head in and a bit surprised to find him still around. When he greets her and asks what the expression on her face is for, she admits that she figured after the hell week they had, he’d be running off to escape for the weekend faster than anyone else. He certainly would’ve earned that right, at least.

Eric laughs, nodding in acquiescence. But he’s survived this week for years now at AAA, and he figures he’ll survive a handful more before retirement comes to free him. He turns the tables and gently asks Isadora how she’s feeling at the conclusion of this week -- he got the sense she wasn’t being entirely forthcoming during their structured meeting.

Isadora hesitates, then caves. She admits he’s correct, sauntering in and slowly settling into one of the chairs. He keeps the atmosphere casual, coming to lean against the front of his desk. She states that things aren’t going all that well at home, but she figures the social worker must’ve already passed that intel to him.

Eric: And the future?

Isadora: … honestly… I don’t know. I don’t even have right now worked out. I’ve been thinking about it all week, hoping that a clear path would just emerge. But instead I just fell down a lot of sinkholes instead.

Eric: Any injuries to report?

Isadora: Maybe internally. [ a beat ] But they’ll heal.

Eric: And so…

Isadora: And so… right now, I don’t know. Nigel said it was better to have lots of options rather than one or none at all, so I guess he’s right. As for which one is the right one… no idea.

Eric: And you know? That’s totally okay.

Eric goes on to state that the point of the week, despite its reputation, isn’t to get them to make definitive irreversible decisions about their prospects. It’s just to get them thinking about it, to get those wheels turning so that when that time does come around, hopefully they’ll already have a little bit of clarity.

Eric: And considering you’re Isadora De La Cruz, I am positive you’ll work it out.

Isadora accepts the compliment shyly, offering a small smile. Then she asks him how he’s faring. He had to carry everyone’s baggage even more than usual, and that can’t be fun. He seems touched by the fact that she’s asking at all, and he admits that he’s got some things going on in his own life that aren’t helping matters.

Isadora: Well, can I offer you some advice?

Eric, with a laugh: Sure.

Isadora: Whatever you’re struggling with, maybe it would help to get to talk about it with someone who can help, too. I feel better after coming in here and talking to you, so maybe you’ll feel better if you go and give yourself the same opportunity. If it’s with someone who can actually address the things you’re grappling with, even better.

Not bad advice. Eric jokes that maybe Isadora has a career in counseling in her future, which earns a snort out of her. She gets up and thanks him one last time, heading towards the door.

Eric: No… thank you.

Isadora nods, disappearing from the doorway. Eric takes a moment to breathe, glancing at the office around him. Having survived another week, for better or for worse.

INT. AAA - SHAWN’S OFFICE - DAY

Angela finds SHAWN HUNTER hidden away in his cramped office, the two of them exchanging jokes about how it’s typical for him to stay out of sight during check-in week. In his defense, he claims, his presence sometimes only adds stress. Angela can’t argue with that.

She comes to sit with him, settling casually onto his lap. She gently approaches the topic of what happened with Zay, and the conversation she had with Harper afterwards. She feels bad for having made their students feel that way, and she’s realizing that maybe the way the two of them approached working at AAA isn’t the only, or even the best, way to go about things.

Maybe, Angela concludes pointedly, it might be better to stop combatting the change and embrace it for what it’s worth. Harper might just surprise him. Shawn is reluctant simply due to embarrassment for his behavior, but Angela softens the blow by giving him a quick kiss.

Much to consider moving forward, that’s for sure.

INT. AAA - DANCE STUDIO - DAY

Zay is in the studio as he said he would be, working hard as usual. Not yet spooked away from his passion, Harper’s talk with him giving him more perspective than acting as a deterrent.

Charlie finally makes it there, and this time it's his turn to hang in the doorway and watch Zay dance. He crosses his arms and leans against the doorframe, expression softening and a light smile blooming onto his face. It’s the most content he’s looked all week.

When Zay spins out of a dance step he spots him, expressing relief. He asks where he’s been -- he feels like he hasn’t seen him all day. Charlie apologizes, sauntering into the room and asking what happened with Angela that he wanted to tell him about. Zay pauses, then shrugs.

Zay: Nothing. It’s not important. Miss Burgess is pretty cool, though.

Charlie: Yeah?

Zay: Yeah. Nothing like Miss Moore, but maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.

Charlie shrugs. Seeing as they’ve come up on Friday, Zay playfully questions if Charlie has figured out his grand plans for the future. He shakes his head, clasping his hands together in front of him as he comes to stand in front of his boyfriend.

Charlie: I don’t think I can know what I’m going to be then until I like… know myself now. Or feel like I know myself more consistently than I do at the moment.

Gently, Charlie reaches for Zay’s hands. The latter hesitates, examining him curiously and well aware that they’re still in public school property despite how much this studio feels like their own safe haven. But Charlie seems comfortable with the gesture, dipping his head down to look at their joined hands.

Charlie also quietly informs him that Riley now knows, which is major news. Zay immediately asks how it went, how she reacted, but from Charlie’s calm demeanor he can only assume it didn’t go horribly. He confirms it, admitting that it wasn’t the end of the world. As for what that means for the future...

Charlie: I just hope that… I don’t know. I hope that when I get there, I’ll be… happy. Content, at least.

Zay, lightly teasing: Big ask.

Charlie: I know. Feels like it, but… [ locking eyes with him ] I know it’s possible. I know it when I feel it.

The subtext of the message goes without saying. Zay smiles, rubbing his thumbs over the back of his hands. Charlie takes it a step further, leaning forward and starting a soft kiss. It’s tentative, new for different reasons, like being in a place where potentially anybody could see. But it’s sweet and it lingers, Zay smiling when they pull apart.

Charlie presses his forehead against his, staying in the moment while he can. Holding onto the safety of this thing, this place right now, when the future remains wholly uncertain.

Eric, pre-lap: Thanks for being here with me.

INT. AAA - ERIC’S OFFICE - DAY

Eric finishes filling a mug from his coffee maker. The cup is steaming as he hands it to Jack, who takes it with a tentative but grateful smile. He admits he’s surprised Eric invited him to come do their usual tradition of ending this hell week with one another, considering how… off things have been between them.

Eric acknowledges that, admitting that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about that. He starts to apologize but Jack beats him to it, murmuring about how he knows he shouldn’t have kept things from him. He does trust him, and he values him more than anything. There’s no one better at what he does -- this week alone is evident enough of that -- and he’s grateful that he’s there keeping the ship running with him. He regrets what he said to him, and hopes he’ll believe him when he says he’s sorry. He let his emotions get the best of him is all.

Eric, after a moment: Well, I’m not one to say that a little emotion is ever a bad thing.

And like that, the tension is gone. Jack smiles, taking a long sip of his coffee.

Song Cue ♫ ♪ “Lullaby” as performed by Sleeping At Last || Performed by AAA Juniors

The a capella humming of the junior class floats over the scene, underscoring the rest of the episode. It’s delicate, pretty, but the slightest bit haunting. Heavy with the context of the week.

Jack asks Eric how he thought the week went overall, in spite of the trainwreck he was there to witness himself. Eric shrugs, admitting that it’s always hard to tell. Talking about the future is never easy, and the additional uncertainty of this career path that they all think they might want doesn’t soften it.

Eric: I just hope that… I hope they realize this isn’t the end of the world. The future is so malleable, and it will take them in directions they don’t even know are options right now. I mean, look at me. I was just like them at this age. I thought I was going to be a star.

Jack, jokingly: [ behind his mug ] Still have the theatrics to prove it.

Eric gives him a look, but it melts into a smile after Jack shrugs pithily.

Eric: Did I ever think this was where I would end up? No. But life has a way of getting you where you’re supposed to be. [ looking at Jack ] And I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

Jack claims he’ll toast to that. The two of them clink their mugs together, taking a sip and settling into the quiet.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - AUGGIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Cory is tucking Auggie into bed, taking his time with it considering how the times he’ll get to do so are numbered. He gives him a kiss on the forehead, smiling when Auggie says something silly to him in response.

Riley leans against the doorframe, watching with a bittersweet smile on her face. Not wanting this to change…

INT. FOSTER HOME - NIGHT

Isadora grows tired with helping Jericho with his homework, excusing herself and skirting around her other siblings to escape to her room. Stephen and Karen watch her from the kitchen, exchanging knowing looks.

INT. GARCIA HOME - ASHER’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Asher is seated on his bed, doing his practice of journaling down all the good things that happened, then writing down the bad and crumpling it up so he can metaphorically throw it away. But he’s already got a couple of paper balls littering the floor at his feet, and he’s tear-stained as he rips another page out and crumples it.

He gives up on all of it, letting the journal and the crumpled page fall off his lap and onto the floor. Dylan emerges from the window, slipping inside the room and coming to join him.

They don’t say anything. Dylan simply climbs onto the bed and wraps his arms around him from behind, Asher closing his eyes. Dylan kisses his cheek, then his shoulder, tucking his head against it.

INT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - LUCAS’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Alternatively, Lucas’s bedroom is cold and empty. His window is still open to the fire escape, letting in frigid February air.

EXT. LUCAS’S APARTMENT - NIGHT

He’s not on the fire escape either. Drifting upwards, we pass a few more floors until we find him, huddled up on the roof of the building by himself. He’s shivering, but he doesn’t move. He’s looking at the city, sprawled and twinkling in front of him, but his expression is blank.

I’m a loser, baby, so why don’t you…

INT. SUBWAY STOP - NIGHT

The train doors open, Zay and Charlie emerging onto the platform. It’s still bustling for a Friday night, the two of them just another part of the crowd. Charlie takes his hand, the two of them exchanging a meaningful look before Zay begins to lead the way through the masses.

INT. MATTHEWS APARTMENT - MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

Maya is tweaking her future moodboard, rearranging some items and changing it up. She’s making it a little more personal rather than so cold and calculated, aiming for the future she wants to lead rather than the one she feels like she has to in order to survive the industry.

She picks up one of the photos on her bed, hesitating on it. It’s a polaroid of her and Farkle, goofing around in the auditorium during spring semester. She brushes her thumb over Farkle, obviously contemplative.

Then she looks back at the moodboard. Perhaps it will find a place in her future after all…

INT. MINKUS HOME - HALLWAY - NIGHT

STUART MINKUS approaches Farkle’s door, lightly knocking and asking if he can come inside and chat. Jennifer informed him that he passed on dinner, and hasn’t emerged from his room since, so he wanted to come see what’s going on. His mom said he seemed like he was feeling better this week? Is that the case?

Farkle doesn’t answer, so Stuart sighs and settles for hanging outside. He speaks through the door instead, struggling to find exactly what he wants to say but doing his best to get it out.

Stuart: Listen, I… I’ve been thinking a lot about that discussion we had during the holidays. The things we said to each other… I think you had some points. Smart as you are, of course you did, but… when I said what I did, I was only trying to look out for you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, considering I’m not always… you’re right. I could afford to be around more, and I guess I just needed you to confront me with the truth of that to recognize it as such. [ a beat ] I’m sorry I made you feel like I don’t notice or care, Farkle. I do. I do, and you make me proud every day. Even if I don’t quite understand it, I know you’re making strides in what’s important to you. And I want to be there for more of that. Genuinely.

A really nice sentiment, one long overdue. Still, Farkle doesn’t give him anything in return. Stuart sighs in frustration, knowing they can’t make any progress if he won’t even hear him out.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. Can we just chat about this --

INT. MINKUS HOME - FARKLE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

Stuart gently pushes open the door, searching the dimly lit room for Farkle so they can talk face to face. But he’s not at his desk or on his bed, and it takes a full scan of the room for his gaze to drift to the floor.

First confusion passes over his features, then a moment later, panic. Sheer, absolute panic.

Stuart, choked: Farkle? [ bursting into the room ] FARKLE!

Stuart drops down to the ground, kneeling just in front of the camera. He immediately descends into hysterics.

Stuart: Farkle, come on. No -- Jennifer! JENNIFER, CALL AN AMBULANCE!

The last notes of “Lullaby” take us out as the screen goes to black.

Stuart, broken: Farkle!

END OF EPISODE.

IF ANY of the content in this episode has been triggering, please reach out and talk to somebody you trust and who can help you. The following links are resources including hotlines, prevention organizations, and international numbers.

Suicide Prevention: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

List of Suicide Hotlines: https://ibpf.org/resource/list-international-suicide-hotlines https://suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html

#S2 #episodes #207

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juleswolverton-hyde · 4 years

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The Raven on Writing

Top o’ the morning, lads and lasses,

It has been a wee while since a post about a specific literary subject was written and since creating this post has been contemplated many times recently, it is perhaps the time to finally write it.

Some of you may wonder how it is the pencil was first picked up or at least be curious as to how it is able to bring fantasies into words in a style that seems to be marked as ‘’quite unusual’’. This is put between quotation marks since this is the polite term of what has been gathered from comments (both positive and negative) on all publishing platforms (AO3 & Tumblr). However, in personal opinion, it is labelled as poetic prose or prosaic poetry reminiscent of the past. Indeed, the tales and the style aim to make the audience remember the great names who have preceded this wee birdy who can never excel them.

Now, how has this rather odd style been gained? How can one create a style at all?

It should be noted that the use of the word ‘odd’ is in comparison to the styles of modern authors.

Kathryn Lasky once said: ‘’I believe that reading widely is the best preparation for writing.’’ It is the manner in which many if not all wordy artists start their literary journeys, allowing themselves to be guided by a skilled author into a world of another’s making. Out of curiosity, the reader might pick up more works from their favourites and create an unconscious liking to the style. Withal, this preference might only become fully known in a creative way upon attempting to put personal fantasies onto paper. These imaginations might be ignited by a disagreement with a scene in the book that could have gone differently or the end is too open and thus begs for a continuation where the original author has left off. Whatever the case, the individual endeavours to make something of their own thanks to the inspiration provided by another’s work.

Certainly, this is essentially true each time a novel project is started since writers tend to follow the principle that originates in Ancient Rome and the Renaissance, namely translatio, imitatio, aemulatio. In other words: translation, imitation, innovation. One might study a language and translate a story they are curious about into their own tongue or find an already existing translation. Afterwards, they might be fascinated with the tale enough that they might try their hand at writing a similar chronicle themselves, imitating the original. A truly radical aspiring novelist will take the original work and give it their own spin.

What if it was Beatrice who had to reach Dante instead of the other way around? What if Athena was not actually raped by Hephaestus but the god was accused of this to worsen his reputation among the Olympians even though she might have actually genuinely fallen in love for the first time?

What if?

That is the most important question when it comes to writing. Ask it and it will lead to an answer.

Returning to the specified questions above, they particularly pertain to classic literature and mythology which are two of the trademarks that have been absorbed into the pen’s style while reading and following the old law. Admittedly, it was without awareness until the moment of enrolling in university to study English literature and specializing in classic literature and poetry.

And there is the answer as to how this wee birdy writes as if she hails from the sixteenth century or Romantic Age. Major influences and inspirations for the works currently making up the bibliography and the stories yet to tell are: William Wordsworth, William Blake, Shakespeare, John Donne, Charles Dickens, Edgar Allan Poe, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, W.B. Yeats, James Joyce, Seamus Heaney (a more recent name), Lewis Caroll, Oscar Wilde. In hindsight, the novelists of the Victorian and Late Victorian age alongside the Irish appear to be the greatest influences.

Regardless, style can also be developed in other ways. At university, it is expected of students to write in formal English. Henceforth, it is not allowed to use first and second person pronouns (I, you) as well as colloquialisms (get, a lot of, thing). Now, there is no shame in admitting the pen is guilty of the latter at times and even of the use of the pronouns nowadays. Yet, both of them are noticeably absent from the works unless there inherently was no other option but to use informal language. The use of I is, personally, still regarded as selfish for the reader might not want to accept the role offered to them by the narrator nor be able to sympathise with the character and their point of view.

Alongside the now innate restrictions on use of language, music is another great source to look for inspiration. Find what it is that makes a song attractive and write a tale about it if there is one to be told. Take a whole album and paint the images the songs conjure. ‘’Spring Remembrance’’ is based on BTS’s Spring Day, ‘’Babel’’ is based on the song with the same name by Mumford and Sons and this is the case as well for ‘’Broken Crown’’. Furthermore, references to various songs are strewn about in the chronicles told thus far. Look at the music by Delain, Within Temptation, Stray Kids, BTS, Linkin Park and Breaking Benjamin to find the obvious clues. However, nowadays, there is also creative fuel to be found in the soundtracks of Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate and Assassin’s Creed: Odyssey and Mumford & Sons’ album Babel.

Last but not least, and unfortunately not everyone has the chance to exploit this means of advancing as an artist, travelling. A couple of true stories might arise in A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman, but yours truly has had the lucky opportunity to have seen a lot of the world and continue to journey despite work and education.

Dear reader, before an untrue maleficent thought finds its way, it should be noted that by no means do I come from money. In the gap year before starting university, I had a fairly bad job at the local train station working shifts from five in the morn till half past one, requiring me to cycle to the city around a quarter past four. The pay was good, but mental wellbeing did not particularly take a turn for the best and the liquor bottles emptied pretty fast, too. Still, it allowed for seeing places that would otherwise have been left undiscovered and hear local myths and legends that could not have been as authentic and credible as when they would be told at a later date on local soil. Working (fortunately under better conditions) alongside studying maintains this Romantic and Byronic lone wolf’s ever-wandering lifestyle and supports the development of a wide view on the world that is at times disconnected from. Notwithstanding, all personal negative implications aside, if there is a chance to go out and explore, please take it for it will allow growth as a person and an artist alike.

A truly last piece of advice: do not be afraid to fail. All arts need to be practised in order to be perfected and even then have to be worked on in order to be made distinct from the rest. The first works will not be the best, but eventually, they will become of better quality if effort is continuously put into the craft.

In sum, look to creative outlets that are nearby such as music and books, the latter remaining the prime source for a proper start on the road to becoming a novelist. Of course, there are other means to gain inspiration such as art and travelling as well as academic education. In the end, there are various manners in which to develop as a distinct wordy artist. However, most of all, do not fear failure. If you fall, get up and try again. Translate, imitate and emulate a personal path in the world and artistic growth will come along naturally.

Until we speak again.

Forever yours,

The Red Raven

#writing #writer #writing advice #writing tips #author #novelist

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house-of-nevs · 4 years

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MONDO MARVEL MART!

'Target acquired, and it's the big one!'

- Iron Man, Marvel Vs Capcom 3.

Talk to a comic retailer whose been at the gig for more than a week, and introduce the word 'Diamond ' to the conversation. There'll be some kind of automatic reaction. Possibly a twitch, a flinch, involuntarily going into a diatribe involving missing boxes, inaccurate invoices, lost stock or even dropping so many copies of an issue of 2000AD into a puddle that it creates a national shortage, inadvertently invoking a premium for an issue.

It would be hard for any member of the comics community to have gone through their career without having some kind of altercation with Diamond. Previews serves the entirety of the Western World for new comics from all of the major publishers. It'd be a miracle if something didn't go wrong on a regular basis.

Inversely, you have to do quite a lot wrong to get your account with them cancelled. The distribution of comics is hardly a massive money spinner and each shop, especially for the UK wing is precious income not happily abandoned.

Here's a hot take, though.

We don't blame Diamond for the state of affairs.

They were placed in a position of 'Grow Or Die' that saw them take on exclusive distribution rights for most of the large comics companies in a very short space of time without much thought to whether they'd have the staff, offices, vehicles or other resources to actually handle this monumental task for the foreseeable future. They didn't ask to be put in that place. They were forced into it.

We regard the formation of Image much the same way many journalists look at the assassination of John F. Kennedy; the singularity that changes the future in a number of ways that cannot be understated. The history of comics can simply be divided as Pre-Image and Post-Image. Every other publisher was affected by their existence, whether it was contracts, paper quality, exposure, standards and practice, artistic direction or otherwise. Some thrived briefly. Others, however...

Marvel's tin ear response to realising that their biggest, um, draws were leaving as a collective was dismissive and unfortunate, given the artists involved were the clear reason for their largest pre-order sales in decades. They declared that 'The characters were more important than the creators.' and set about with replacing the Image Seven with artists clearly told to emulate their predecessors as much as possible.

This didn't work.

Sales figures dropped. Marvel assumed that the novelty of Image would disappear quite quickly and all seven would be back, sheepishly, within a short period of time. Instead titles like Spawn and Youngblood sold in huge numbers and the Image Seven became famous in a way that comic creators hadn't been in such a way previously and certainly without a great number of respected works behind them first.

While Image took itself out of Malibu, added a ridiculous amount of titles to their solicitations and even hired a tourbus to promote upcoming crossover 'Deathmate' with Valiant Comics, continously promoted (unwisely, in retrospect ) as having strong investment potential by industry magazines and in house ads for companies like American Entertainment...things got worse for Marvel.

Despite an annual assault featuring polybags AND each book being a first appearance, the Spider-titles beginning to intertwine their stories and absolutely flooding the shelves with new titles in an attempt to tie up retailer budgets away from ordering not just comics from DC and Image but also new publishing initiatives from Dark Horse, Malibu, Continuity, Topps, Chaos and even Harris, it still didn't work.

Marvel had not only had their dominace of the marketplace shaken but had Ronald Perlman's huge financial debts to try to compensate for. They saw the hologram high price books that made up the Spider-Man 30th Anniversary celebration as a model for any character they could.

By 1994, Marvel decided to add another tactic to their attempt to reestablish dominance. Not content with assaulting the customer's budgets with endless spin off books, they also wanted to control how their books were sold to the audience.

In short. They decided they wanted to cut the retailer, with their choice of control of what they could stock, out of the relationship between themselves and the readers out of the equation.

By 1995, they were to manifest this desire by foolishly buying a small distribution company called Heroes World, who would solely provide retailers with Marvel Comics, cutting Diamond and Captial out of the picture. Anyone with a brain could see Heroes World weren't set up to carry that much product and deliver to so many locations.

While Marvel tried to deal with a situation that was beyond them, Diamond and Captial set about signing up publishers on exclusive contracts. Diamond had the larger budget and won that particular war by securing both DC and Image and eventually also absorbing Captial in July of 1996. When Heroes World collapsed in 1997, Marvel would go back, tail between legs, to their now sole distribution competitor Diamond.

Which puts us where we are now. Diamond have that control due to the exclusivity contracts signed in the Mid 90s. Presumably these are permanent and even if they weren't, a new distributor would have a hell of a problem starting up without being able to secure product from the major producers of comics in the West.

There's an argument to be made for a collective starting out by translating huge selling comics that we never see in English speaking countries, but a hypothetical for another time.

Between the desperation of the 1993 polybagged annual shambles and the purchase of Heroes World, however, there was a significant clue to exactly what Marvel were up to.

Retailers receiving Marvel comics with the cover date May 1994 would have been annoyed to find an increased shipping charge. The first reason for that was a inserted preview for the Marvel Masterprints collection. $4.99 would secure a set of 6 by 10 prints featuring Mark Bagley Spidey art (Offer only good in U.S. UK retailers love paying added shipping costs for items and promotions that can't be redeemed in Great Britain . Honest.)

The second?

An eight page combination of comic and catalogue. Marvel Mart! 1 was published at a time when both Disney (long before buying Marvel) and Warner Brothers had their own stores offering up exclusive merchandise at high prices and this was obviously a goal for Marvel at the time.

MM1 takes us through a tour of a Marvel themed shopping centre with various branded stores (We personally loved 'Stan "The Pan" Pizza) as a group of hip young kids extoll their excitement at t-shirts, posters, stand ups, VHS videos, comic collection box sets with advertising and price in their dialogue. The sub-plot features Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson looking for a present for Flash Thompson in this shrine to order codes whilst distracted by a couple of shoplifters straight out of any SNK beat 'em up circa 1993.

They're defeated by a combination of Spidey, a second inflatable Spider-Man and, um, an elevator. The story ends with the kids taunting the shoplifters with the idea that they buy some Marvel phone cards to call their lawyer while Mary Jane suggesting they buy Flash a Marvel gift certificate (ordering code in her dialogue, obviously. )

What's troubling about this is many of the items in MM1 were either not being offered to direct market retailers at the time or were being offered to the public much cheaper than RRP. Again, via an insert that comic shops would have to pay shipping for. Presumably the mail order catalogue would have been the first step in pulling customers away from direct market shops via cheaper or exclusive items and onto these proposed stores where, obviously, the brand of Spider-Man on an item would be a more significant selling point than Todd McFarlane, Mark Bagley or Steve Ditko.

The bitter irony of all this is that all the progressive material published in this time, like Ren & Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead, the Disney adaptions, Prince Valiant, Marvel Music and Barbie are long out of print.

We're inclined to think there's probably a larger audience for a trade paperback of Barbie Fashion than wants to see reprints of Fantastic Force or Hulk 2099 that's being constantly ignored. Maybe that's where the future is, looking for the untapped readers rather than attempting to drain every last penny or cent out of the readers who're already here.

That's it for now. Obviously the images of the two Marvel Marts are shot from a camera phone because bizarrely, despite searching for over a year, we couldn't find any legal scans of these books and you'd be surprised how difficult it was to find copies of the original comics that still contained these. As we get the opportunity to scan the pages online properly, we will. When we were still drawing up topics for Mondo Funnybooks, this was one of the things we wanted to cover the most as it doesn't seem to have been remembered very well so it's a pleasure to get to the other side of this subject.

In case we don't do this again before the 25th (the next thing ought to be an overview of the completed Doomsday Clock series but that's obviously down to issue 12 shipping.) We'll wish you all a Merry Christmas and a genuine thank you to people who have supported this via shares or our Patreon, which helps pay either for daft comics to research or in some cases, food. May we all end up singing Christmas carols with Batman and The G.C.P.D.

'You'd better TERMINATE that tingle, Buster!'

#marvel #Spider-Man #Diamond #the 90s #comics #Image Comics #Spawn #Youngblood #The X-Men #Wolverine

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multixkitten · 4 years

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Anonymous said:What your Fruits Basket muses like as kids/their childhoods?

Prepare yourself anon. This is gonna be LONG.

Yuki spent most of his childhood at Akito’s side, almost like a “thing”, or rather a “puppet” than a human being. Often confined in one room, he was kept away from most of the other zodiac children and then told he was “special.” He grew up hating himself, hating Akito, hating his Mother for essentially giving him away to Akito, and hating his own powerlessness to change his fate. It was a pretty dismal childhood and he has firm PTSD because of it.

Tohru is an interesting one to talk about. She was loved, unlike most of the zodiac, but at the same time she lost her Father at a really young age and was essentially forced to grow up a little too early. Not just because of that, but because she wanted to help her Mother, who worked so hard for her. In order to do that, she had to be mature. She couldn’t cry and break down anymore like she used to when she was being bullied. She learned to smile everything away, even to her own detriment. Hence, well...her entire personality.

Shigure had a special relationship with Akito even when they were young. He was one of the only people who actively tried to protect her from Ren, or as Akito refers to her “That woman.” He saw the reality of the curse from a very young age, the darkness within it...and from it grew an obsessive love that started the day Akito was born. He wanted to make his dream come true, and he would do anything to make it happen. He devoted his entire life to the curse, even going as far as trying to break it when he got older.

Saki--until she met Tohru--had a lot of self-hatred. Her powers were things she despised, something that scared her. She had a lot of social distancing in her childhood for fear of hurting other children. She wondered if her family hated her because of having to move, because of the fear, because of everything.

Momiji is another that was forced to grow up way too early--and he’s not one that you would expect that from, on first glance. He seems just as childish as he always had been, but when he was a child he was firmly rejected by his Mother and watched her say he never should have been born. He loved his Mother, didn’t understand why she wanted to forget him and the bond they could have shared. But instead of growing bitter toward her, instead of hating her, he decided to love even deeper because of it and remember every memory he could--good or bad--and try to understand others. He is an empath, even empathizing with Akito in some cases.

Kyou--as we all know--was the reject of the cursed family--the cat. He was blamed for his Mother’s suicide, told he killed her, told he was a monster and disgusting because of his other form that he was born with and had no control over. He grew up despising everything around him, but especially Yuki, who was the rat that tricked the cat in the cursed tale--and essentially to blame for his misfortune. His childhood was packed with explosive bouts of anger. For a while, it was the only thing he could bring himself to feel. Anger was better than despair, anger was better than sadness. Kazuma made it much better, but Kyou still has conflicting emotions about that til this day.

Kagura is one we never seen talked about really. She’s shown interacting with Kyou, shown interacting with Ritsu and has been close to Rin all of her life, but it is of my opinion that she was someone with a lot of empathy that used it in the wrong way. She tried to understand Kyou out of the goodness of her heart, but also because he was like her--they both had bouts of anger they could not control. As a child, she saw what Kyou was put through--however, instead of learning from it like one would have expected, she closed her eyes to it and played into the curse unwittingly--she became one of those people that saw Kyou for who she wanted him to be, a comfort to her, instead of who he really was. She tried so hard to empathize with him, but in the end it only hurt both of them.

Hatsuharu--or Haru for short--had an interesting childhood. He is another Sohma with uncontrollable bursts of anger. In my muse, this ended up splitting into an alter personality, known as “Black Haru,” in order to protect the original personality from the world around him. He spent a lot of his childhood hating Yuki because the rat made the cow look like a fool in the old tale and he was often put down because of it and called stupid or foolish. His anger was out of control. He tried to focus it on martial arts, but it only gave him the skills to do more damage. In the end, what healed him somewhat was the reconciliation with Yuki, meeting him and seeing him for who he was and not just the curse, being told that he wasn’t just the foolish ox. He grew into a rather calm person, but that other personality still exists and takes over when Haru’s emotions spin out of control.

Hatori grew up knowing the role he was going to play--he was going to become a doctor, he was going to take care of Akito, he had to be the one to clean up everyone else’s mess--it made him bitter, in a strange way. It’s a deep seated bitterness that is rarely shown and a self-hatred that only intensified as he got older. He felt that he was powerless to do anything but to play into the curse, and so he became one of the curse’s biggest pawns out of sheer helplessness.

Ayame was the type to seek warmth from those around him to make up for the coldness of his household. He turned a blind eye to what happened to Yuki out of selfishness, something he later came to regret when he grew and became a better person. He learned to love very intensely and cares for his friends more than he cares for himself. He was often described as...well...eccentric, and in a way this personality developed out of denial. He denied the pain of the curse until it was essentially no longer something that could affect him outright--the personality he created from that just...kinda stuck.

Akito. He’s an interesting case. He learned early on to be mistrustful of women, even hateful towards them, because of his Mother Ren. He was abused physically and mentally, and the only one who ever stood up for him was Shigure and Kureno comforted him at times. This fizzled an unhealthy attachment to “his zodiac”, especially when he learned the role he was to play in the curse. The one everybody hated...

He grew up twisted because of all of it, receiving nothing but unhealthy, obsessive love--which he then emulated onto others. He never knew what a normal family was supposed to be like and still doesn’t.

#{ Muse: AkitoS }#{ Muse: AyameS }#{ Muse: Shigure }#{ Muse: Hatori }#{ Muse: Kyou }#{ Muse: Yuki Sohma }#{ Muse: Tohru }#{ Muse: Kagura }#{ Muse: Momiji }#{ Muse: Hatsuharu }#{ Muse: Saki }

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vorthosjay · 7 years

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The God-Pharaoh’s Gift

The card Gate to the Afterlife gives us some strong hints at Nicol Bolas’ plans for Amonkhet. It references another card, named God-Pharaoh’s Gift, that has yet to be printed. With the clues we’ve been given so far, however, I think we can figure it out what Bolas is up to, and what his ‘Gift’ might be.

Loyal Retainers by Bastien L. Deharme

Let’s break down Gate to the Afterlife into its flavor parts. The triggered ability gains you life and lets you loot whenever a non-token creature you control dies. The activated ability can only be used once enough creatures have died.

"Birth and death are both reversible." —Nicol Bolas (Soul Manipulation)

From a flavor perspective, it’s clear that Bolas’ goal is centered around the dead on Amonkhet. He’s not looking for living Worthy or minions. He wants the people of Amonkhet to die, but he wants them to be in the best possible shape before that happens.

So what is Bolas’ end game? The clue is located in The Hand That Moves, from one of Nissa’s visions:

Giants, covered in metallic blue, stomping through streets.

Metallic blue giants? I think I know what’s happening. Let’s talk about Lazotep.

What is Lazotep?

Stone Quarry by Florian de Gesincourt

If you read my stuff regularly, you know I’ve mentioned Lazotep as being way more important than it first seems. The spin-down life counters of Amonkhet are made to emulate it. Wizards of the Coast even made special four-sided dice for it. It shows up on a number of cards, from Stone Quarry (above), to Quarry Hauler, Sacred Excavation and Shimmerscale Drake. Shimmerscale Drake even has an interesting bit of flavor text:

They are drawn by the brilliant blue glint of the mineral lazotep from the mines below.

Blue glint, eh? That sounds metallic. And the stuff is everywhere. Just about every single creature within Naktamun wears a cartouche made of the substance:

Cartouche of Zeal by Kieran Yanner

The color can change, but the ones worn by the Anointed are uniformly blue in color. There’s no way making cartouches alone would require the ridiculous amount of the mineral being mined, though. The population doesn’t justify the huge amount of excavation going on, even when you consider the volume of corpses being produced.

Why is so much of the stuff being used then? We learn in Servants that they’re a mechanism for controlling the Anointed, and theoretically anything afflicted with the Curse of Wandering on Amonkhet. They can even be used to control the living, per Judgment. We know that everyone who doesn’t earn a glorious death becomes one of the Anointed. But what happens to the Worthy?

The Fate of the Worthy

Those who pass the Trial of Ambition and earn a glorious death in Hazoret’s Trial of Zeal get a place in the afterlife. Once dead, they’re sent to the Gate to the Afterlife. Per Final Reward:

Those who earn a glorious death are given the highest honor. They are carried on funeral barges through the gate to the afterlife.

So what happens to them after they pass through the Gate? My best guess is that their bodies are then turned into something like our buddy on the right:

Notice what this mummy is made out of? It’s covered from head to toe in Lazotep, gleaming a dull metallic blue. It looks like mummified remains of the Worthy are coated with the mineral, and it’s laid on them in such a way that it becomes almost a kind of armor. Undead without the squishy bits seem pretty handy, more so than your average skeleton, anyway. We don’t know much about Lazotep’s unique properties, but I guarantee you it will soon rank with Etherium in terms of importance.

As Nissa reveals in Judgment, Lazotep seems to have its own inherent power, much like Etherium. In Agents of Artifice, part of the conflict between Bolas and Tezzeret is over mining interests on various planes. And in the dubiously canonical Test of Metal, Bolas is after the secret of Etherium. Why would Bolas care so much about metals and minerals? If his plan has been to create super-powered warriors like the Undead Worthy, it would make sense that he’s been pursuing other means to do so.

Ashnod’s Transmogrant by Mark Tedin

It’s not the first time a super-powered army like this has been created. Way back in The Brothers’ War, the ruthless artificer Ashnod coated living subjects with a metallic substance, turning them into her transmogrants. Even though Bolas didn’t have a hand in those events (that we know of), he’s familiar with the history of the plane.

Bridging The Gap

And why would Bolas go through the trouble of creating a super-powered zombie army on Amonkhet, when it’s just a dead world? Seems like a major flaw in his plan, right? Not really.

Because he has no intention of keeping them there.

Planar Bridge by Chase Stone

Bolas has been after interplanar technology for a while. Although there’s a Saheeli-sized hole in this plan, his minion Tezzeret has managed to finally acquire the technology to create a bridge between planes. Only problem? Living things can’t get through it. But you know what probably could?

Lazotep-coated Zombies. They’re both dead and metallic, and could probably survive the trip. It’s possible that Bolas has had Tezzeret involved in this plan for a long time, given the Infinite Consortium cells that once belonged to Bolas were the ones pursuing the mining interests I mentioned earlier. And once Tezzeret became Bolas’ thrall again, the first place he was sent was Mirrodin, the place in the multiverse most likely to have interplanar technology, either through the soul traps or the New Phyrexians rebuilding old interplanar phyrexian tech.

Walk Lich An Egyptian

While I’m positive that Bolas’ plan involves making Lazotep zombies, there’s another possible element here. Scroll back up and take a look at the art for Loyal Retainers. It appears like they’re walking down the stairs from the site of the Trial of Zeal, doesn’t it? So why are they carrying a canopic jar instead of just a corpse, like we see in Anointed Procession? Especially a jar giving off the same wisps we see on soul magic elsewhere on the plane?

Scornful Aether-Lich Steven Belledin

Here are my thoughts. Nicol Bolas isn’t just creating an army of super-powered zombies. He’s creating an army of super-powered Liches. Perhaps the bodies of the Worthy are transported to the ‘Afterlife’, but their soul is stored in a phylactery (like the canopic jar) and kept someplace safe. Probably somewhere deep under the surface where no one will ever find it once Bolas lays waste to Naktamun.

"With no flesh, there is no pain, no hesitation, no emotion of any kind. He is crafted perfection." —Tezzeret (Scornful Aether-Lich)

The Anointed are useful, but need to be given direction to accomplish anything. If instead Bolas is creating Liches out of the Worthy, the Trials make a lot more sense. Being a Lich would allow them to retain some of their individuality and magical ability, and the Trials would ensure those made into Lichs (the Worthy) had all the qualities Bolas would desire.

Of course, the Lich thing is just a fancy of mine, but it would make sense he would want his undead army to have leaders with some autonomy.

What About the Giant Part?

We’ve discussed how the regular Worthy would become this super-powered army for Bolas. But you know who else has to prove themselves Worthy? The gods. And it would take an awful lot of Lazotep to coat one of them, wouldn’t it? It would certainly explain the huge mining operation for the stuff.

The gods of Amonkhet are made from leylines, right? Well you know what else interacts with leylines? From Judgment:

She gave off the suggestion of a mental shrug. They work like leylines, she thought. A different mana source, but the same principle.

The Lazotep Cartouches! So all those blue metallic giants Nissa foresaw? They’re probably the gods, perhaps able to move off-plane from the magic of the Lazotep. It’s possible that Bolas has already done this to those three missing gods. Maro mentioned recently that in the original plan for Amonkhet, there were only three trials, and to ask him about it again after Hour of Devastation comes out. Perhaps those three Bolas-themed Trials will show up again in Hour, helmed by these three missing gods?

Come to think of it, Tezzeret wanted the Planar Bridge big enough to transport a Gearhulk, right? And while I still don’t like the Planar Bridge being an essential part of Bolas’ plan for Amonkhet for a few reasons (namely it relies on happenstance), the requirement for the Bridge’s size may have been to transport Lazotep-armored gods.

The Gift

So what is the God-Pharaoh’s Gift? If it’s representing making this Lazotep Army, the only explanation is that it can resurrect creatures and give them a boost of some sort. Perhaps it even makes zombies indestructible, to go along with the theme. My personal hope is that it’s a sort of Mass Transmogrify, like Ashnod’s Transmogrant.

An important note about the God-Pharaoh’s Gift is that you can search your graveyard for it, which leads me to believe we’ll sacrifice it for some effect. Given that you can also search your hand, perhaps it functions like the Trials, where Cartouches allow you to return it to your hand.

In any case, I for one am ready for my Lazotep Zombie Overlords.

#archive trap blog #mtghou #vorthos #mtgakh

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theparaminds · 5 years

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It’s not as though much in Wes Park’s current state makes endless sense to him. He isn’t always sure who he’s supposed to be, what he’s supposed to do or where he’s supposed to go. Yet, through it all, he has found the constant guiding force of creativity. No matter the day, no matter the insecurities, his art is his greatest friend.

He makes art not for glory, opting instead to do so for the health of his heart, for happiness to constantly be within his existence. Every sunrise can be a misguided mess, a day without a pathway for Wes, but, he knows his music will overturn that. He knows his creations will bring him peace. He knows, through all the confusion, that his creativity will guide him to a new plateau, one previously desired, yet never grasped as of the present.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how have you been?

Today was tough. I have midterms this week and I’m starting to get really busy with school, but otherwise, I’m doing pretty well. Could be a lot worse.

Have you been enjoying school and all it entails? Have you found the new city to be enjoyable?

It was really odd adjusting to school away from home at first. I think i got the hang of things and the general rhythm of campus life pretty quickly, but the midwest is way different from so-cal, so it’s a big change. Definitely enjoyable though. It’s nice to see snow in the winter.

To start, how did you find your original location to be influential to your introduction into music and becoming a musician as a whole?

My friends back at home were the biggest influences to me doing music in the first place. I think as early as like 8th grade we’d share cool bands we found. My bud Rohit, he goes by the moniker Dark Tape right now, really got me into a lot of the music I listen to today, so I can only thank him for that. In high school, I met Harrison (Harry Teardrop) and we started a band together called Sundive. He was a huge inspiration and that’s about when I really got serious into writing and producing music. It was kind of like back and forth, sharing each other’s demos and figuring out cool riffs, and from then it was almost like a persistent goal to just get my stuff out there for people to listen to. Also, my childhood friend Tony always backed me up on guitar, so I could always count on him. I haven’t found anyone like these awesome people back in Irvine.

But when was it that you realized music was a legitimate path and calling for you? Was there a moment or spark that you realized you had to pursue this as more than a hobby?

Just watching my favorite musicians travel and get paid to do what they love was always an attractive idea for a future in music. Even still hearing feedback from people about how they can connect to my music is a really motivating and rewarding aspect that keeps me going. I definitely had an aha moment when I met Harry in high school since he really stepped up the production quality game and kind of externally motivated me to get my music online. I think since then when I was 16, I always wanted to be like a rockstar or pop star or something sweet like that. Music is still technically a hobby to me, but I probably spend more time working on music than on studying and doing homework.

As a whole with your music, what is the largest goal and vision? What is it you’re working towards and hoping to build?

My biggest goal is probably to get a large enough following to travel to interesting places and play music for people. Honestly, the dream is to tour with my old bandmates as our own separate projects. Right now I’m just trying to get better at writing/producing cause I want to put out songs that I’m really proud of. The goal is still in the back of my mind always, but I’m just trying to get into a chill habit of working when I feel like working or when I’m inspired to. Not burn me out and get discouraged or tired of making music.

To shift gears a little, where do you find your current artistic inspirations stemming from? What artists, events or ideas have inspired your new pathways?

Currently, I’ve been REALLY into that new Kero Kero Bonito album ‘Time n’ Place’. It really opened my eyes to experimental noise and power pop sounds that I’m trying to incorporate into some of my new tracks. My roommate also got me really into Japanese City Pop. I love how catchy the synth melodies are and I started playing around more with synths. And generally, I have a playlist of current jams that I listen to for inspiration (Mitski, Beach Fossils, Homeshake, etc.) Oh yeah and also my friend Deaton Chris Anthony’s live performances are super inspiring. Like HELLA inspiring.

Those are amazing people to pull from. What would you say of all time is your favourite album and artists and how did they truly affect you?

My all-time favorite album is probably Ella Fitzgerald sings the Cole Porter Songbook. I used to spin it every night in high school before going to bed, and I learned a lot about cool chord progressions and variations from the instrumentation. I also always loved how genuinely sweet and romantic the lyrics are in vocal jazz, which kind of inspired me to experiment with that. I think also Beach Fossils was really influential when it came to guitar music, especially their album Clash the Truth. Their entire discography is great, but the drum parts, driving basslines, and perfect guitar tones are especially dope on that album. I think for like 2 years I was trying to emulate the sound of Clash the Truth in some way.

It seems like you have great care and love for instrumentation, is that something you focus and put special effort within your sound? Or are you more in the base of caring for lyricism and aesthetic.

Definitely. I think I prioritize instrumentation and how well different parts play with each other a lot more than just going for an aesthetic since it’s really satisfying hearing very singular parts come together into something totally new and full. And I think the aesthetic aspect really comes naturally once its all orchestrated, so it was never something I had a primary aim for when writing. I do focus on lyricism a lot, but I still think I'm really lousy at poetry and writing lyrics. I’m trying to practice more and be more honest with myself, so we’ll see where that takes me. But for the instrumentation, do you ever hear like one small part of a song and it makes you shiver? Like all you want to do is repeat that one section over and over and over because it’s so perfect? That’s what I’m trying to do.

Absolutely, those moments are so beautiful, is there one you think of a lot when you talk about those moments?

YES. In one of Deaton’s old songs, Nylon Heart, the ending is awesome. It's just like FM piano and sparkly chimes and cymbal swells while he's saying “I’ve fallen in love, I can't get up” and then it ends on this very pretty chord on the keys.

That song is so good. With specifics to lyricism, where do you draw inspiration for that side of your music and how do you approach lyricism as a whole?

Believe or not, I used to never write lyrics down. I used to freestyle and just use the 3rd or 4th take, like on Washington Square Park and Midnight Low, I literally made those lyrics on the spot. Now I tend to just write about what's on my mind in a journal, then organize them into coherent lyrics for songs. A lot of the time I feel like it's essentially me venting. But again, I gather most of my lyrical inspiration from vocal jazz since it's so romantic and kind of gooey. Like there’s this one Ella Fitzgerald line on the Errol Garner song Misty that always stuck with me, “walk my way and a thousand violins begin to play.” stuff like that where it's very real but also dreamy, imaginative, almost like watching an old movie.

Would you say that’s what you’re trying to do with your new music? Create a film style quality? Or is there a different motive and purpose to the new sounds and avenues?

Yeah, I guess. My music is pretty much a soundtrack to my life at this point, but I’m still very much willing and open to experiment with new sounds. I don’t know, it’s kind of up in the air where I could go next. I don’t really have a definite motive, but I guess subconsciously I’ve been slowly shaping a narrative of my life and the people around me through the songs I’ve been putting out.

Do you have any work set in stone to come out though? And if so, how does it differ from past works?

I have nothing set in stone, but I’m trying to conjure up enough good work for an EP soon. I have a couple tracks finished and I’m pretty happy with the direction I’ve been taking, I just don’t feel like I have enough just yet. For the new stuff, expect a lot of noise and distortion and a lot more synth. It’ll be a big departure from my slower repertoire from past years, but I think it still sounds very much like me.

What fears or anxieties have you found existent while in this next stage of your work and career? What is it you’re unsure or nervous or questioning still?

I’ve always feared that my work wouldn't amount to anything big, and the potential of kind of flopping and falling out has always been a HUGE anxiety of mine. Like watching my friends around me blow up and get noticed is super inspiring, but I kinda feel like I’m missing out, you know? That’s kind of on me since I’ve been severely slacking though. But I think that I shouldn’t really worry about things and just let whatever happens play out. I’m really unsure about how people will react to my new music, but I’m definitely not afraid to do new things since I’m having so much fun and satisfaction on my own just music as it is.

Is there, through this new mindset and ignited creativity, a message or ideal that above all you hope resonates with listeners of your work?

Yeah, I really want everyone to express themselves! To find something, anything, they can use to express themselves and share it with the world. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, there are a ton of people out there who share your anxieties and fears. That’s what I’ve learned myself and it's been amazing. If there's anything you could take from my music, it's probably that.

If money were no object, where would be one location you would play a live show at?

I would kill to go to New York and play a show with a bunch of friends. If money and logistics were completely out of question, then I would want to go to Korea and play a show so my parents can come watch!

That’s so sick, do you find your Korean heritage to be something you draw from? Or is it something you hope to pull closer to with time?

I really want to create a really strong tie between my music and Korean heritage. I think the connection is really lacking currently, which is a bit disappointing since I identify myself so closely with that cultural background. I was raised in a pretty ‘korean’ household, so I’m really familiar with like all the foods, slang, cultural norms and stereotypes. The catch is I’m god awful at speaking Korean, and it’s kind of embarrassing being a phony. But I’m working on it! I definitely want to experiment with Korean lyrics in future songs once I overcome my embarrassment.

Honestly as longs you're trying to get closer to it, it matters. To go back to live shows, what are some of the performances you’ve seen in your life that have had a significant impact on you and your work?

Saw Wavves in 2015 with Rohit. From then on always aimed to have a super fun and hype shows. I also think I said before that Deaton’s live sets are really inspiring. I can’t really say much about his live set, it’s hard to explain and it wouldn’t do justice to how good it is. I saw Homeshake too I think last year around May or something. They play very tight live and Peter uses his sampler creatively live. I’m trying to find a sweet spot somewhere in between really outrageous and really tight and clean.

If you could recommend one film to everyone reading this currently, what would you tell them to watch and for what reason?

I guess not a movie per se, but I’ve been watching Cowboy Bebop lately. you should watch it, it’s really fun and has great aesthetics.

Always meant to get into it, always been a Dragon Ball guy at heart. To wrap up, do you have anyone or anything to shoutout or promote? The floor is yours!

Shout out to my band Sundive, the boys Harry Teardrop, Tony, Dark Tape. Shoutout to my buddy Deaton! New album dropping soon. And listen to my song Holding flowers it came out in February, but it’s the latest single as of this interview. Hopefully, I get around to finishing up an EP. Thanks so much for the interview, oh and let's give a quick shoutout to Christina Applegate.

Follow Wes on Twitter and Instagram

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

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spicynbachili1 · 5 years

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Neo Geo Mini outshines the PS1 Classic, could pave the way for a GBA Mini

But it’s not without its missteps

I don’t know what’s going on with the Neo Geo Mini. Shortly after I got my hands on one, SNK announced that an upgraded Holiday version of the hardware would be going up for pre-order in the coming days. That’s not a good sign. I have to guess that the initial SKU failed to sell as well as SNK had expected, leaving them scrambling to rework the units they already produced into a more marketable package. Their apparent lack of confidence in their product leaves me pessimistic about this weird little machine’s future.

It’s a shame too, because this is by far my favorite plug-and-play mini console to date, at least in terms of its library. I bought the NES and SNES Classics day one, and I love them to “bits”, but there’s no denying that nearly all the games on each system are outdated. That’s the point of the nostalgia-powered novelty collections though, right? To take a trip in your mind back in time?

If so, then that’s probably why the Neo Geo Mini isn’t selling. These are not the games that many grew up loving. These are the games that most of us could only afford to play for ten minutes a week at the local arcade, before going home and sinking hours into The Legend of Zelda or Sonic the Hedgehog. That said. there are several games on the console that stand up to the best that 2018 has to offer in their respective genres. Garou: Mark of the Wolves looks and plays better than 99% of today’s fighting games. Metal Slug 3 is still the best looking 2D run-and-gun action game I’ve ever played. There are also plenty of quality games on here that I’d never heard of before. For instance, if you told me that Ninja Masters was as all new indie fighter, and not a Neo Geo title from the ’90’s, not only would I have believed you, but I would have been more than happy to pay $15 for it.

That’s why, despite my love of Jumping Flash and Super Puzzle Fighter, the Neo Geo Mini beats out the PS1 Classic for me this holiday season. It’s also why I am more optimistic than ever that Nintendo will skip the N64 when it rolls out its next Classic console, and will instead jump straight to the Game Boy family of systems. I’ve already taken my Neo Geo Mini on the go with me a few times, and I’m sure people would love to do the same with a similarly versatile handheld/home console pre-loaded with games from Nintendo pre-DS portable generation. The Neo Geo Mini has issues, but its definitely worth looking into once Black Friday rolls around.

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The Setup

The Neo Geo Mini is a better handheld than it is a home console. I have fairly large hands, but I’ve had no problems with the stick and buttons on the console itself. The screen is also bright and clear. The console doesn’t take batteries, and instead runs off of a USB port, similar to most cell phones. I’ve played it running off my car’s cigarette lighter USB adapter, a mobile cell phone battery, and hooked up to my laptop on the train, and as of yet I’ve had no problem with power supplies, or pulling off special moves in KoF 2002 while on the move.

The optional control pads (sold separately) aren’t nearly as nice. The analog stick is loose and the buttons are loud and clicky. They aren’t impossible to get used to, but its strange that they are such a downgrade from the stick built into the console itself.

In some misguided attempt to replicate the arcade experience, all the games are programmed to have a set amount of tokens for both players, You can tone down the difficulty ,or increase the amount of default lives you have for most of the games, but your starting token count never changes.

These are not arcade original roms though. Most have been altered for the home market to let you save then restart from whatever stage you last made it to. You can also open up the emulator’s menu and activate save states. It’s a pretty weird system that is cumbersome and confusing at first, but that’s easy to forget once you acclimate.

The emulator also has some real bare-bones features, like the ability to turn on pixel smoothing and stretching. It’s extremely small-time stuff, and for the most part, will make each game look different or worse, but never better. With the correct aspect ratio and smoothing off, the games look about as good as they do on the Switch or PS4, at least to me. I haven’t had my eyes checked this year, so maybe I’m missing something, but pressed my face up right up to the screen to look for artifacting, and my 41-year-old eyes didn’t detect any. So that’s good news. The bad news is, the only extras here are a couple of stickers. No in-menu history section, no bonuses, nothing but a instruction booklet for the hardware itself.

The Games

There are 40 games on the Neo Geo Mini. The console costs about $110, so you’re getting each one for less than $3, about $5 less than what they might go for on digital storefronts, assuming they are available anywhere else at all. They fall under the genres of fighters, wrestling games, run and gun, shmups, beat ’em ups, sports games and unnerving Tetris knock offs. There’s actually only one of these here, but it’s worth mentioning for how bad it made me feel.

The range of quality here is pretty enormous. Some of these games are a sincere waste of time unless you go in strictly to marvel at how much gaming has changed over the past 20 years. Others are games that I sincerely believe are some of the best ever made. I’ll break them up into three categories (Oddballs, Mid-tier and Classics) and do my best to describe them for you.

The Oddballs

Blue’s Journey, one of the oldest games in the bunch, is relic from a bygone era, not unlike a cigarette commercial starring The Flintstones. It has a decidedly launch era TurboGrafx-16 feel to it, with overly detailed backgrounds and very small characters. They don’t make them like this anymore for a reason. It’s generally messy, but in a sort of “manic toddler eating a $1 box of sugar cookies” sort of way.

Robo Army is so bad that it’s funny, but not that funny. The opening cinematic is completely bananas, promising unhinged Sci-Fi violence on whole other level, but when you finally get control of your character, things slow down quickly. It’s a beat ’em up where you play as a cyborg that can randomly turn into a car, as you blow up other cyborgs, giant dogs that turn out to be cyborgs, and angry cars. It’s clunky and sad, but those with a morbid curiosity for what people used to be willing to play for $.25 microtransactions might find it interesting in a scientific sort of way.

Mutation Nation starts off feeling similarly janky, but after a few minutes, you’ll see that a lot of the animation here is pretty solid. Charge moves lie at the core of the game’s combat system, which is novel for the genre, and the Akira-meets-Cronenberg character designs are surprising, sometimes genuinely disturbing.

Ghost Pilots is a top down WW2 shmup that was probably trying to leech off the popularity of 1942 and 1943. It’s totally fine, but nothing to write home about.

Crossed Swords is another beat ’em up, but this one plays from a Punch-Out!!/Pato Box perspective. It’s more polished looking that Robo Army, and the RPG elements add some depth, but the combat is a total mess. That’s bad news for a game that’s about, uh, combat.

Puzzled is the Tetris-knock off I brought up at the top. It really makes me appreciate all the little quality-of-life improvements that are found in recent Tetris games like Tetris Effect and Puyo Puyo Tetris. All you can do is move, rotate and drop you paces, so even the most basic of advancements like the T-spin is out of the picture. The game has a campaign mode and different stages, based around trying to free pixies who are trapped under some blocks? I don’t know guys, video games just sort of do their own thing sometimes.

The Mid-Tiers

Magician Lord is one of the first games I ever blew $20 on at an arcade in order to see it to the end. Playing it now is not that great. In many ways it feels like Castlevania with larger characters, but the controls are just as stiff, making it hard to keep your giant hitbox out of the way of enemy attacks. It’s got a cool transformation gimmick though (you can turn into a dragon, a ninja, or even Poseidon for some reason) and one heck of a creepy womb level.

Kizuna Encounter is a fighting game that probably started of in development as a two-player beat ’em up. Two of the games ten playable characters are beautifully animated, while the rest are serviceable but unimpressive in their appearances. What’s really interesting about the game is it’s tag team system. Unlike in recent tag fighters like Marvel Vs. Capcom: Infinite, you have to get close to your partner before you can tag them in. They don’t automatically jump in when the character you’re using is out of health either, adding an interesting layer of strategy to the otherwise standard Street Fighter II-style fighter.

Ninja Masters feels like it was supposed to be the first entry in a series that would work as the Ninja equivalent to Samurai Showdown. They clearly didn’t have a lot of RAM to work with for their ambitions, as the characters are relatively small, but it has some really smartly executed animations. If I were game designer and one of my students wanted to learn how to make realistic, non-pandering breast physics for their game, I’d probably point them to towards Ninja Masters. The whole thing culminating in battle with good old Nobunaga, which is a lot of fun for fans of magical Japanese history games like myself.

Sengoku 3 is another ninja game, a beat ’em up this time, one that’s gotten a lot of praise from retro enthusiasts over the years. I’m not 100% sure why. It’s got good art and a varied cast of characters, but nothing about it really stands out about it. Maybe I’m just unfairly comparing it to the Capcom Dungeon and Dragons games without realizing it.

Blazing Star (sequel to Pulstar) is a pretty good shmup that works on a upgrade system that extends the length and strength of your charge shot meter. Picking up power ups doesn’t always make your basic shot better, but it does give you the potential to fire off huge payloads of neon energy if you play your cards right. Other than that, a standard sci-fi anime shmup.

Last Resort is more up my alley, with a novel take on R-Type‘s bit system and even greater attention to detail to make the world you destroy feel lived in. The open levels takes place in a city under siege by giant robots, featuring little civilians driving – or even running – away from the carnage in a futile attempt to survive. It’s adorable and sad in a way that few modern shmups bother going for anymore.

Shock Troopers and its sequel are Ikari Warriors-likes with an added evasive maneuver (a roll or a jump) to get you away from bullets, though it has a fair amount of a cooldown so you can’t spam it. The animation is better in the second one, but some of the backgrounds and characters have a weird pre-rendered look that can be a bit of a turn off, whereas the first one has more consistent art direction overall. Still, both are fun enough if you’re in the mood for some hard boiled co-op arcade action.

King of Monsters, King of Monsters 2 and 3 Count Bout, are all wrestling games that are a nice alternative for people who want to beat up their friends without having to worry about too much depth getting the the way of the immediate violence. The King of Monsters games are based around Kaiju films, which adds an extra layer of charm if you’re a fan of the classic rubber suit Toho movies of old.

3 Count Bout plays it more straight faced, but it’s definitely very “videogamey”, as are Foot Ball Frenzy, Super Sidekicks and Top Players Golf, the other three sports games found in this collection. Technical limitations permitted them for going for anything that approaching “realism”, but the sprite-based graphics have a loving, hand crafted feel to them, and the respective designs of each game play like cartoonish approximations of the source material.

World Heroes 2 Perfect has a special place in my heart, as its has both the most superhuman fake Bruce Lee in the history of gaming and a psychic monk based on Rasputin, Russia’s famous love machine, but I have to admit that it’s not as deep, original, or well crafted as most of the other fighting games here. Still, it’s the best World Heroes game of them all, so if you were ever curious about what the Battleborn equivalent of ’90’s 2D fighters was like, then you’re in luck.

The Classics

A lot has already been written about the Metal Slug, Samurai Shodown, and King of Fighters families of games, so I probably won’t go on and on about them here. Like I said at the top, I think Metal Slug 3 is one of the best looking games ever made. Metal Slug X/2 and the original game in the series come close behind it. Metal Slug 4 and 5 are notably less visually impressive than the games that came before them, with little in the way of new enemies other than bosses. So you can stop after 3 if you want, but if you don’t, go into the next two with lowered expectations.

There are only three Samurai Shodown games here, and they stand out as some of the most extreme iterations of the franchise. Sam Sho 2 is is essentially the first game but with more characters. Samurai Shodown IV: Amakusa’s Revenge retains the new and improved sprites and Slash/Burt systems from Samurai Shodown III while (you guessed it) adding more characters. Samurai Shodown V Special is essentially an apology for Samurai Shodown V, bringing together characters from every chapter of the series for one last hurrah.

The King of Fighters games are a little more difficult to break down, as they work as a giant crossover of various SNK franchises. Technically, Art of Fighting and Fatal Fury Special (an enhanced version of Fatal Fury 2) work as their prequels. They are both dated compared to the games that followed, but they have significance. Fatal Fury Special is the first game to officially start the shared SNK fighting game universe with it’s hidden battle against Ryo from Art of Fighting. Real Bout Fatal Fury is also on this collection. I almost put it on the oddities list, as its weird, three-plane fighting system is pretty strange. In the end though, I threw it here with the classics because it’s definitely a significant part of the evolution of fighting games.

From there were have King of Fighters ’95. ’97, ’98, 2000, and 2002. The offer a nice overview of how the franchise evolved during the height of popularity enjoyed by fighting games in the late 90’s into the early 2000’s. From a visual perspective though, they largely pale compared to The Last Blade 2 and Garou: Mark of the Wolves. For my money, they are the two most beautiful SNK fighting games of that era, or any era for that matter.

[These impressions are based on a retail build of the hardware provided by the publisher.]

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reviewed by Jonathan Holmes

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from SpicyNBAChili.com http://spicymoviechili.spicynbachili.com/neo-geo-mini-outshines-the-ps1-classic-could-pave-the-way-for-a-gba-mini/

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recentanimenews · 6 years

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Sakuga Weekly: The Surprising Link between HINAMATSURI and DARLING in the FRANXX

We ended last week’s round-up of interesting animation with the promise that we’d be highlighting HINAMATSURI’s glorious nonsense, and that’s what we’re here to do just a few days after the end of its broadcast. For those still unacquainted with the series, HINAMATSURI i is an absurdist comedy with an uncanny ability to switch from ridiculous laugh-out-loud moments to truly emotive ones without compromising either register. There is, of course, a method to its madness to make this almost impossible balancing act work, which comes down to none other than series director Kei Oikawa.

Creating warm spaces for characters and audience alike is second nature for Oikawa at this point, as seen in This Art Club Has a Problem!, his sequel to My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU, or even this season’s Umamusume: Pretty Derby. Add to that his solid grasp of comedy, in particular the deliberate restraint that makes the most outrageous moment hit so hard, and you get a show that’s equal parts soulful and hilarious – one that, even when the gags stem from awful things happening to the characters, avoids coming across as mean because you know it still cares about the them. Quite the tricky balance!

Many of these fundamental strengths of the series boil down to both the source material and Oikawa, since they turned out to be a match made in heaven. The director made a huge difference, using premeditated and very smart approach, and ensuring his vision would be respected at all times by storyboarding every single episode – a task he wrapped up last summer, which is a nice change of pace from the rushed work we’ve grown used to seeing in anime.

But the synergistic production goes further than that, which is why it earned a spot in this mostly animation-focused column. Over time, Oikawa has surrounded himself with a group of artists who fit his needs like a glove, and they turned out to be incredibly effective when unleashed on HINAMATSURI. The group of main animators led by Ryo Araki and, in particular, Tetsuya Takeuchi worked throughout the whole series, handling important scenes on their own but also setting the tone of the movement for everyone else.

The unmistakable rhythm of their animation is enchanting in and of itself, and the way they achieve it is so very HINAMATSURI; take realistic animation concepts – like articulate gestures and animated clothing folds – and then exaggerate them to an amusing degree and you get the quirky perfection that a show about mundane people put into extreme situations and outrageous fellows experiencing normal daily life needs.

TV anime having their fair share of cool animated sequences is a common occurrence, but animation identities as consistent as HINAMATSURI’s are very rare – cases where that animation ethos is properly connected to the show’s goals even more so. Since this is supposed to keep you up to date with recent developments, though, let’s focus on HINAMATSURI's final episode, which conveniently serves as one of the better showcases of the show’s qualities.

Most attention will, of course, be directed towards its quirky epilogue, a side joke that was entrusted to the team’s very best. Ryo Araki’s understanding of body movement allows him to pull off kickass action sequences, made even better by the beautiful flow of the choreography. Not content with that, he also delivered an amusing addendum where his overwrought character acting is the true source of amusement for the viewer. Meanwhile, his old mentor Tetsuya Takeuchi had a lot of fun with a spinning death robot – an excuse to justify his ridiculous fabric animation if I’ve ever seen one.

Rather than the scene itself, though, it’s that mentorship that is worth pointing out. Much like how Takeuchi influenced Araki, some of the regular animators in this series have greatly absorbed the two aces’ eye-catching quirks. Hence why, despite them not touching the first half of the episode, you can still feel a similar touch. That’s particularly true when it comes to studio Khara-bred youngster Jin Oyama, who didn’t just emulate their style in HINAMATSURI, but is also spreading it to other productions like DARLING in the FRANXX. This is how animation currents establish themselves!

When it comes to other strong offerings this week, the aforementioned DARLING in the FRANXX deserves at the very least a nod. Its storyboarder, Noriko Takao, is easily the most overwhelmingly talented person to have left Kyoto Animation over the last decade. Even as the production loses steam, Takao’s spacious layouts and beautiful natural lighting, her striking profile shots and ability to project the characters’ mental state on the screen always pack a lot of punch – especially when she has a fleet of character animators at her disposal.

However, this time around I’d like the final warm nod to go to a show you’ll rarely find fans celebrating on an animation level: Persona 5. The latest action-packed episode had some sweet guest animator appearances and powerful 2D effects, but its true success lies in the storyboarding. As a turn-based RPG, the game gets away with the mostly static fights since it’s the interactivity that keeps you on your toes. But animation is different, so if they want to succeed, the team has to put together something that’s exciting to simply sit through – and this time they did! Game mechanics like the baton pass are used in dynamic ways, finally portraying the kind of thrilling team fights that the original tried to evoke. More of this, please!

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Kevin Cirugeda is one of the founders of Sakugabooru and an editor and writer for the site's sister blog, Sakugablog. You can find him on Twitter shouting about children's anime, Messi (sometimes), and sakuga memes at @Yuyucow.

By: [email protected]

#Anime #News #Latest in Anime News by Crunchyroll!

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wendymevans15 · 7 years

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First glimpse at GlamourOZ dolls - the new fashion dolls by Jozef Szekeres

I first discovered Jozef Szekeres way back in my early days as a fashion doll collector. I was then fascinated by larger scale dolls only (Barbie was too playline for me even then) and somewhere on-line I got my first glimpse of Elisabet Bizelle and her sister Kotalin in their incredibly glamorous style and poise. They were nothing like all the other fashion dolls I was familiar with - the beautiful but rigid Gene, the just-got-articulated Tyler and so on. These were glamazons, looked like the 90s models I loved and had the body to prove it. Mind you not as articulated as I wanted, but they'd do. But they were limited editions and not easy to get a hold of... so I never managed to get one. The line ended at some point and I was left wanting. No other large scale fashion doll looked like these, even after I became familiar with more exotic beauties of the realm. I got to meet Jozef through social media and chat frequently about our common passion with him. And now I have the pleasure to feature in this blog, through the kind permission of Tommydoll (who did the interview and first published it here) and with a nod to Roger Corbeau of Dutch Fashion Doll World (who posted it here), Jozef's first interview and preview of his new line of large scale fashion dolls, GlamourOz!

Szekeres is a 2-D artist and sculptor – he has a pronounced experience in Australia as a Disney animator, primarily the Disney Princesses (so what’s there not to like?). Read the full interview with Jozef Szekeres by an Australian colleague – click here). In the late 90s/early 2000, he designed, sculpted and produced the Elizabet Bizelle fixed-pose fashion dolls of haunting and unique beauty. This was just at the dawn of the articulation movement, which made for some lovely posing – however, with every joint you add, you remove an element of beauty to the lines of the human form. His dolls were true to that, making them display perfect…and ripe for photography. They sold well, but were highly limited. For all the dolls in the 16” movement following Gene Marshall in 1996, and before the rise of Tyler Wentworth in 1999 – Szekeres’ Elizabet (and sister, Kotalin) Bizelle were the most unique looking and styled fashion doll – featuring a body sculpt that was mesmerising in its idealised beauty. The Bizelle Sisters beckoned to be re-fashioned into poseable ladies of exaggerated style and sumptuousness. Raising his own money over a decade would usher him closer to his dream – cash everything out, and make the sacrifice to make the molds.

Tommydoll (TD): I love how you draw inspiration from Indigenous Australian themes and marry that with your own family – it’s reminiscent of Robert Tonner, but also very unique. How did Australia inspire you in characters, sculpts, and those wonderful 60s-inspired (yet very up-to-date) fashions from Stephen Moor – more specifically, how did you piece it all together into the exotic, glamorous and dangerous world of the Bizelle Sisters?

Jozef Szekeres (JS): Thank you Tommy, I appreciate you taking this time to interview me, and introduce my new line of GlamourOz Dolls to the Fashion Doll Collectors around the world. Now to your first question (I hope they’re not all this complex, well then again… bring it on!), I’d like to begin by paying my respects to all the Indigenous Australians, the traditional custodians of my homeland. Launching a new line of Australian Fashion Dolls born from Oz could only be complete with its inclusion of the very first Indigenous Australian Fashion Doll character (that I know of). My father, an accomplished artist in his life with his day job as a house painter, was an avid art collector, and on occasion would do his trade literally for the trade of art. As a child, I remember one hallway of my parents’ home had the most amazing Indigenous Australian artwork hanging on both sides that my father acquired in this way, and it’s still there today. So he instilled early in me a great respect for all art, whether tribal, western, and even sculptural.

I had the opportunity in my early adult years to visit the Thankakali Broken Hill Indigenous Community, and do a comic book workshop for and with the children and adults there. The elders were excited to show their own art, and describe that beyond the visual aesthetics, all the art elements had great symbolic meaning, and showed how it can be read sequentially… A visual arts language, their own ancient “comic book” language. I’ve seen Indigenous Australian dolls before, but only as baby, child, or adult souvenir dolls from my youth. I even have an Australian Barbie Club convention souvenir doll using an African-American Shani doll as an Indigenous Australian stand in. But to my memory, I’ve not yet seen a sculpt created specifically to be an Indigenous Australian Fashion Doll, as we understand Fashion Dolls to be. So when creating the head-sculpts in preparation for my new doll line, with intention I created one to be an Indigenous Australian, looking to the Australian supermodel scene as my inspiration to respectfully capture their distinct features and beauty. Being Australian, I wanted all of my characters from my first release of my new line to be of and from Australia. From inspirations of Elle “The Body” Macpherson, to the gorgeousness of proportions and beauty of Olivia Newton John’s Sandy (from “Grease”) and that of our beloved songbird Kylie Minogue (a favourite of my father’s). However growing up in Australia, media focused primarily on Western-looking personalities. Thankfully that is changing and Asian-Australians are rightfully represented in media today too, and therefore my line would not be complete without its own Asian Australian Catwalk Model.

Three of my character head-sculpts have their names taken from my family members. My sister is Elizabet Kotalin, and our mother is Lucille. Bindi is a traditional name from the Sydney Darug Tribe, meaning “beautiful butterfly” or “beautiful girl“, depending on which tribe’s dialect is used. Also, Bindi Irwin has recently brought that name to international prominence, and as a nation, we’re all very proud of our “Dancing With The Stars” winning girl. Stephen Moor’s artwork entered my life when my sister married his son. I was in my mid teens, and I guess he saw I had some artistic aptitude and leanings, and he took me under his artistic wing. I knew of his fashion sketches rather early, but only later realised that though he was a nationally successful Who’s Who of Australian artists, he had never published or seen his fashion works from the 60s – 70s realised. When he gave me his folder of fashion sketches, he urged me to look into entering fashion, saying he hoped his fashions could help me or inspire me, and that I could use them if I wanted or needed to. At the time, I had already established my own artistic career path as a young Disney 2D animator, so though deeply touched, his fashions sketches were only shared within the family. However, I knew on an instinctive level that this 80 strong fashion sketch collection needed to be kept whole and complete, and was significant to Australian fashion history.

I’ve always visualised that I’d do my own line of dolls, even when at school and told one of the teachers, who sarcastically said “As if” and “Dream on“… and I took that backhanded advice, and did dream on. I at first thought I had fulfilled that dream wish when I did my first Elizabet Bizelle line in 2003. But my passion for dolls has only grown stronger over time, and somehow, everything in my artistic experience seemed to funnel down and compress into this singularity that has become my new GlamourOz Dolls line. It’s my own personal Big Bang!

Elizabet Bizelle Woman In Red doll, 2006

TD: It’s interesting that many of the world’s countries have their own spin on ‘era fashion’ – such as the 1960s – what is Australia’s take on the colors, clothes and textures then?

JS: Australian fashion was built on (or maybe from) the backs of Merino Sheep. Wool, and earthy colours are quintessentially Australian. Though the Mod fashions were emulated in Australia, the Aussie take focused on geometric yet deceptively simple classic shapes. That’s why I think Stephen Moor’s fashions are so iconically 60s Australian, yet also look ever so modern today.

Stephen Moor fashion

TD: Describe the relationship between the sisters – do we have Elsa and Anna, or do we have Cinderella and Drizella?

JS: Ahh, Disney either way! You can’t go wrong with either choice. However, with edition titles like “Double-Cross Cover-Up”, “Secret Garden-Path”, and “Ribbon Reveal”, you know there’s “something” going down!

TD: How do we see the characters in Moor’s clothing designs…I get the fashions are for all the dolls, but who is more likely to wear what…and why?

JS: Elizabet is my lead girl, so I see her comfortably in anything. She wears Double-Cross Cover-Up, because it’s cheeky, sexy and fun, the 60s mini skirt of the line. I created the jacket design to go with the mini dress, originally as a value add, but now they are inseparable to me. She’s a blonde that has “more fun” in the mainline of this garment set. In the limited variant, she’s a fiery redhead, not to be toyed with lest you get burned. Secret Garden-Path Elizabet – softly glamorous in a statement 60s young-green evening spiral path gown. Her copper red hairstyle revisits her signature hair design originally worn in her 2003 release, “Dangerous Discovery“!

Ribbon Reveal Kotalin – high class all the way. Sexy high in its reveal-through panel detailing, married to a classy silhouette. For some reason I get Marilyn Monroe in “Niagara” when I see her in this garment, especially from behind… for that full minute walk. Blonde for the mainline, and long and Ginger with a 60s bump for the limited variant edition. For this garment, the bridal white sketch has been transformed into a beautiful warm salmon pink.

Glittering Gala Kotalin – silvery in a gun metal sequence gown, once again emphasises her high glamour. Her brownette hair design inspired by Stephen Moors fashion sketches, with length added at the back for fun hair play (I’m thinking of you, Darko!).

Bjeran Bindi (Cool Begins) – from the Nyoongar Indigenous Australian calendar, describes the beginning of Winter. With beautiful lines, shapes and textures that embody the bush edged Australian outback, this jacket keeps her warm in the desert cool beginning nights of winter.

Yawkyawk Billabong Bindi (Mermaid Pool) – Yawkyawk is a word from the Aboriginal Kunwinjku/Kunwok language, meaning ‘young woman’ and ‘young woman spirit being’. Sometimes compared to the European notion of mermaids, Yawkyawks are usually depicted with the tails of fish. They have long hair, associated with trailing blooms of algae, typically found in Arnhem Land streams and rock pools.

Lucille wears Yum Cha Cha-Cha – which embodies her classy sophisticated lady, and “Anything Goes” toe tapping nature, ready to star in a musical opening number… Think Willie Scott, from Temple of Doom.

Executive Day to Night Lucille, is power play in the boardroom, and power player of the night.

TD: Do the Bizelle sisters actually live in Australia…or are they children of the world at large like James Bond?

JS: Australian born, but children of the world at large. For their character’s histories and behind the Catwalk Supermodel scenes, I definitely see a blend of Bond for the classy international intrigue and suspense, Indiana Jones for the arcane mystic mysteries, and Charlie’s Angels in their hair flippery fun, and for their fashion forward fraternal sisterhood, this Supermodel band of “Pussycat Dolls” call themselves GODs (GlamourOz Dolls)! So… why not bring part of Australian culture back to your home with our GODs.

TD: How many Elizabet and Kotalin dolls were originally made? How was the decision made to not continue with them…money, saturation…both?

JS: 840 dolls in total were made, spread out in 3 main editions, and 2 IDEX editions of 20 each. The rise of articulation in the 16″ fashion doll world changed them from display dolls into play dolls for adults. My initial production was created within the means I could muster at that time, and also when articulation in 16″ dolls was established as limited, going full articulation was well beyond what I could afford. Just getting to my first and only USA IDEX (with my wonderfully supportive mother in tow) was a huge cost and big deal for me, and this is where I met you for the first time. It was heartbreaking to see my doll passed over because her articulation was limited. Collectors kindly complimented the sculpt, but saying on the boards, “I’d buy her if she was articulated” further depressed the issue. I wanted to say… If only you’d support her now, then in the future, full articulation would be possible, like Gene and Tyler’s eventual and (in Tyler’s case), gradual articulation. But once articulation took hold of the collectors’ focus, anything other than full articulation was seen as less-than. As a consequence, sales dropped, and that basically ended the line there.

Original 16″ Elizabet next to 22″prototype sculpt wearing lingerie by Doug James – The prototype was Sculpted in a larger scale for 3-D scanning and printing to preserve detail. TD: Has it been difficult compromising body beauty for articulation? How did you resolve the marriage of the two?

JS: Once I saw the new articulation movement in both Resin and Hard Plastic dolls, I could see where it worked and where it didn’t. My engineer side of my brain took over and guided the sculpt. Having 13 years of 2D Disney animation behind me focusing on the Disney Princesses, gave me an appreciation and understanding of the flow of form and pose, which I brought into my sculpting. I wanted every body part to have grace not just in and of itself, but also in how it connected to each other… to ensure this sculpt was also sinuously tall, and elegantly graceful from head to toe, so the finished articulated sculpt would look whole, rather then an assembly of parts. I returned to my own 2003 established aesthetic and in 2006 started a sculpt of a new doll at 22″ so as not to be influenced by any other dolls or trends (which I brought with me to the 2007 New York Comic Con, and while there I got to show Madame Alexander in New York, but they already had their Alex doll, so weren’t interested, then I took the sculpt to Philadelphia showing Ed Ferry of “Happily Ever After” when attending his in-store doll club gathering). I shelved the unfinished sculpt (like Edward Scissorhands, she lacked hands), till I could afford to continue. Once I was ready to self finance, I revived and completed the sculpt in 2015. The factory got involved in early 2016 and the doll was resized down to fit into the 16″ world, where I got to see her for the first time at her final height size.

Kotalin Bizelle, Dangerous Discovery, 2003

TD: Was it a decision to expand the diversity and story to add the two new characters – or was it necessary to break even on development/production costs?

JS: With the initial 22″ inch sculpt in SuperSculpy, Elizabet was the first head-sculpt in 2006, then in 2015, I retooled the Elizabet head-sculpt, and added Bindi, Lucille, with Kotalin as the last completed, thus rounding out this first line up. So I started with just the one head-sculpt, but once I started to seriously see that this could be realised, I expanded the head-sculpt range knowing that the minimum run would be 3000 units. As a collector myself, I knew 3000 of just one character would not be as interesting as four.

TD: You are using every resource in your savings and personal worth for these – isn’t it scary?

JS: Indeed it is. I know it’s a risk, but it’s not a fatuous one. As a career artist, I need to trust in what I create is to the best of my own ability and standards and the needs and standards of the paying client, and that hopefully will resonate with those people it’s targeted to reach. If I couldn’t do this, I wouldn’t have a job. This time around, my own collector self is that client. I feel if I can appeal to my own needs and wants with this new doll that I’m not currently finding in the 16″ Fashion Doll market, then I’m being true to my art, vision and voice, and hopefully that will resonate with the Fashion Doll collectors need and want, too.

TD: What are you eating now you are factory development poor? JS: Hopefully, not my words. TD: In all your sacrifices, is there something you miss more than others?

JS: Prior to the factory involvement, the body sculpt and additional heads took about 6-8 months to complete till I felt it was ready, for I knew it had to be as right as I understand that to be, because of the financial investment it would entail. In 2016 working with the factory has been full time on this, earning not a cent while shelling out more money that I’ve ever seen move through my hands. Spread over the year working with the factory, I’ll have spent more then 6 months working directly on premises with the factory in China, so I have missed my partner Todd, my family, and close friends… who have all been so very supportive. I’m currently in China working with the factory, and will even miss Christmas 2016 and the 2017 New Year at home. But I’ve a new baby on board right now, and I’m heavy with that pregnancy and responsibility that this new life to be born must take first priority.

I’m working to complete the production samples, which will be followed by the official photography of the line, then the official launch! Estimated production times will mean release dates will fall in the 4th quarter of 2017.

TD: Few people understand what it’s like to put your life saving on the line for something of which you have tremendous passion. How would you explain this level of commitment to one of your collectors that may take plastic/vinyl for granted.

JS: I’d only ask them, if you like what an artist does, be that patron of the arts and the artist who’s work you want to see more of, and support their releases, so they can do more and create more for you to enjoy. My commitment and passion for dolls and the creation of them drives me to want to do more. My hope with sales is that I can remove the financial burden over my home that I’m using as collateral to create these dolls, and have enough left over to live, eat and cover my bills and expenses, and hopefully earn enough to do it all again next year. I’d love this to be my job and career path from herein.

I’ve certainly not taken the creation of these dolls in plastic for granted, their expense to create them has driven that home. As a child looking at Barbie and the shameful knockoffs, I could see back then that a budget $10 plastic doll has the similar mold value as a collectable, but it’s usually the sculpt and engineering quality that separates whether one is cheap and the other is of value. I thought then… if only they had gotten a better sculptor…, and that fuelled my young mind with interest and the possibilities, to want to know more about how toys were made before they appeared magically finished at the toy store. I remember the Jem dolls of the 80’s, and never asked my mum to buy me one, because they just didn’t look as beautifully realised as their box art, even though the dolls themselves were well engineered. So Barbie remained my Fashion Doll of choice (thanks to my mother who would buy them for me, with Beauty Secrets Barbie being my favourite, as she had more mobility and poseability over her sister contemporaries). To me, for a Fashion Doll, I’ve always felt that what was of greater value was the quality of the sculptural art coupled with top quality engineering, and not the medium that should be valued.

TD: Your original Bizelle sisters were in resin, making you a pioneer of resin casting in fashion dolls of our genre. How would you communicate your desire to see your art translated in a material that many see as ‘cheap’ or inferior to the wide-spread perceived value of resin?

JS: The original 2003 Bizelle sisters were in resin, only because that’s what I could afford, with not even a thought of pioneering anything. When on occasion the doll fell down the stairs or some other similar mishap occurred, my heart would jump in my throat till I saw what damage had been sustained. If I’d see that the doll had a broken finger or some other part. I’d glue it back, but it forever felt broken, no longer whole. It literally felt like damaged goods, almost repulsive, I’d then be reticent of touching it, fearing it’s structural integrity was compromised and it would break again. I want to enjoy my dolls, with quality sculpts, engineering and durability. I want my dolls to be beautiful on display, and resilient in play, and then stuff them in my backpack if I want her as a travel doll, and know that when I take her out.. with a flip of her hair, she’ll still be beautiful and whole. Plastic for me is the perfect medium to realise all of that.

From left to right: Integrity Toys FR16, GlamourOz, Tonner Doll Tyler body

TD: Why not begin them in 12”, instead…it’s a much larger market. Was this a personal passion for the scale – or a need to fill a huge gap in the 16” plastic/vinyl fashion doll world (compared to the rise of Gene and Tyler – who thought we would ever be asking this question?)?

JS: My passion has been with the 16″ dolls since Mel Odom introduced his glorious Gene Marshall doll in 1995. My thanks always goes out to Mel, for without his brave vision, there’d be no 16″ dolls in the wake of Gene’s creation for us to enjoy. I do collect 12″ dolls, and love them, and maybe one day I’ll explore that scale as well. Though it’s a much larger market to explore and appeal to, I also think it’s saturated with product, by companies and producers with deep financial pockets to back them, and therefore a harder market to enter as a solo doll artist/producer. Moving forward beyond this first year’s mainline release focusing on Stephen Moor’s designs, and then releasing a new GODs line with these sculpts, using my own fashion designs for the next year, I’d like to explore a new sculpt variant of the female GODs body, releasing that with its own range of new character head-sculpts. Beyond that, I’d like to start the new sculpt of my own male doll companion to my female GODs, as she’s as tall or taller then most of the 17″ male dolls already in the Fashion Doll market. My goal has always been to have a companion set of female and male fully articulated body sculpts that fit into the 16″ scale Fashion Doll world, that work together stylistically and aesthetically.

TD: The clothing is amazingly detailed…how are the prototypes varying from production samples – what can the collector expect?

JS: The history of the garment factory I’m working with is… impressive, as is their internal quality control. I will also be overseeing aspects of this production, and do my own quality control. The collector can expect to see garments created at the very best of market quality. Now having established this fantastic working relationship with this garment factory, and seeing how beautifully they are realising Stephen Moor’s designs… I can see that they’ll be more then able to realise my own designs that will be the focus of the next future mainline release.

Elizabet and Kotalin wearing FR16 outfits by Integrity Toys

TD: Your price points are much higher than the perceived standard of Tonner and Integrity hard plastic (and given how widely discounted they are, even more so) – but more on range in price, quality and appearance of Superdoll. How does price factor into your collection?

JS: As a start up, all the expenses are my own: the time I devoted to the Super Sculpy original 22″ sculpt and its eventual factory scanning, the 3D work to resize to 16″ scale, the physical 3D prototyping, the mold making, the face stencil mold making, the hair fibre purchases in various c.g, the flights to and from China, the accommodation and personal travel insurance. The cost to produce the entire run… Everything, the production costs included are way higher then I thought they would be. And add to that, its eventual shipping. All these things add up, and I don’t have corporate financial backing. I think for a start up solo creator of a line of vinyl/hard plastic new Fashion Dolls, and the quality delivered, USD$300 for a complete boxed 16″ doll is a pretty good deal, especially when I currently see this similar price point for 12″ dolls by independent Fashion Doll producers. So if collectors like what they see, and want to see more, then please do show your support in buying the products I’ve made.

TD: Staining from dyes onto vinyl is a reality – how are you addressing the issue? JS: With plastic wraps where needed, protecting the vinyl. TD: You’re including a certificate of authenticity…really? It’s an added cost…why not just let the markings on the doll suffice? Is there more to the certificate that a critic like me is missing?

JS: I personally have never cared for certificates to identify a dolls’ authenticity, nor taken much notice of the actual numbering of the dolls I’ve collected, because I’ve never intended to resell them once they’ve become mine. Some certificates I keep because they’re nicely designed, most get trashed with the box as space is limited these days. But I do know that some collectors do like them, and it is good to have on it information for clarity about the total number produced in the limited edition run.

TD: Tell us more about your sales rollout – will it be pre-orders…dolls ready to ship…combo of both?

JS: It’ll probably be a combo of both, as their pre-sales will go straight to the factory to help offset some of the production costs. Last time around, I took no pre-orders, just notes of interest. And I’ve learned collectors can be fickle (as we all can be), and easily distracted unless they’ve made a financial commitment. There are commitments on both sides that need to be in place, respected and valued, for what they bring to each other.

TD: What is your plan to offset the high cost of shipping to places outside Australia?

JS: As a collector of mostly American Fashion Dolls, added shipping per doll is usually about USD$50 to $70 for each doll I purchase. So I understand that shipping will factor in price for some collectors. I will be looking into having a choice of delivery suppliers that may offer different delivery options and price points.

TD: Are you currently talking to any retailers with whom you may come to an exclusive distribution arrangement outside Australia?

JS: I’ve had discussions with a few retailers, but nothing conclusive about exclusive distribution arrangements. With the economy climate as it is, most retailers have said they’d want to see a demonstrated demand, before committing to a new doll line, which is a catch 22, and then only with orders in the low to mid 2 digit numbers. So my start up focus will be to sell direct from my online store.

Wearing Nigel Chia

TD: Tell us your concept of the ‘Basic Doll’…will there be one…or only dressed dolls and clothing?

JS: For the mainline of 8 dolls and 2 limited variants, all of them will be released as dressed dolls. I imagine a basic doll would be in either a swimsuit, lingerie or simple outfit, however there will be no basics or separate clothing this time around, that’ll have to wait to follow in the future. The gravy that comes after securing survival. Thankfully, the GlamourOz dolls wear most of the competitor garments with ease and comfort, even elevating them to a catwalk presentation. Catalogue models are beautiful, but do we remember their names? Supermodels are known by name! I like to see my girls as Catwalk Supermodels. I could see as an extension of the mainline if there’s popular demand, releasing garment sets inspired by the fashion designs of Stephen Moor, or even future dressed dolls too… some of which will appear on the box art to celebrate his 60s fashions. They are all such amazing fashion designs, I’d love to honour his incredible work and see each of them realised eventually.

Stephen Moor fashion

TD: What has been your biggest business challenge in developing a marketing plan with social media being the hungriest attention whores out there?

JS: Thankfully, I was accepted into the Australian government funded MTC NEIS program nearing the end of 2015, where I did a fully funded business course over a 6 week period, where I got the grounding information I’d need to launch and sustain my startup business and marketing strategies. The greatest asset of the NEIS program’s commitment to the startup businesses is to have a business mentor available for them for 12 months. It has been good to have someone with business knowledge to bounce off and share some of the hardships with, who can also offer real guidance. I think the biggest marketing challenge thus far has been deciding when is the best time to release information, as I know new news gets stale quickly on the net these days, especially when the reader isn’t privy to the reasons why there may be delays or time slips. But now I feel is the right time, and with your extensive industry history and experience, and with the respect and wisdom that comes with that, you and your blog is the right person and place… Including your blog flow on partners.

TD: Are you going to have a ‘club’ (please say, ‘no’)?

JS: I’m a member of a couple company toy clubs, and I do love the ease of assuring certain releases, without having to chase them down. This helps greatly being an international member. And it’s also a place where brand loyal collectors can congregate and share their mutual love. So, knowing how company collector clubs have helped me,… I’m not opposed to it, but I’m not yet ready to set up one of my own just now.

Wearing Superdoll of London

TD: Hopes/Plans/Expectations for your first doll event?

JS: There’s a strong, but small Fashion Doll collector base in Australia, with me being one of these collectors. Most of the Fashion Dolls we collect seem to come from America, and we often feel our island country’s isolation, or distance from the main doll events. I hope to launch my dolls first to the Australian Fashion doll collector base, and grow it from there to an international audience. I’d love to see a yearly GODs Fashion Doll convention based in Australia to be added to the international must -attend events. In 2017, I’d like to attend the main Fashion Doll conventions in America, Europe, and other international locations, to introduce my new doll line, and meet the collectors.

TD: Collectors like to meet and greet the creator…think Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Will you Howard Hughes it…or go on a world-wide Rainbow Tour? I think we’d be happy to Crowd Fund your tour.

JS: I’d love to meet and greet with collectors all over the world. So I’ll definitely make myself available to do so. Certainly it would be an honour to be the recipient of a funded convention or tour visit.

TD: Seriously, though…you must be scared – doll collectors are so fickle – you’re placing a great deal of risk in their confidence. I hope you also market to the Action Figure folks because of the ‘Spy’ storyline.

JS: I’m a Fashion Doll collector, so I know I can be fickle at times, too – a pretty new thing can certainly get my attention over an equally pretty older item, causing me to miss out on the older item and then have to seek it out as a more expensive grail item. But I’m also very brand loyal and supportive of those brands I love and collect. My hope is that my dolls and brand will attract its own loyal collectors, that will want what I do now and in the future. Most action figure products are licensed pop culture, rather then original fare – like He-Man, She-Ra, Jem and Transformers – the toys are released concurrently with their own pop culture vehicle (in these cases, animated TV series) to anchor their products to. Most action figure collectors will buy an action figure, even a bad one, with a character they already recognise or have a pop culture connection with, over a well made action figure of a character they don’t yet know. What’s different about fashion dolls, that I love, is they can survive entirely on their own merits without an established pop culture reference. And the Fashion Doll collector thrives on discovering something new… A new story, new fashion, new face, new body, new characters. I’m sure there is some crossover, but they seem to come from different ends of the spectrum.

Birthday Bash Kotalin Bizelle, 2006

My two 2006 releases, “Woman in Red” Elizabet Bizelle, and “Birthday Bash” Kotalin Bizelle, were inspired by The Matrix film. Describing it thus to a fashion doll collector, they got the concept straight up… “Inspired by fashions”, and if they liked it, they bought it. But when these same dolls were placed in action figure stores, the action figure collectors there would ask “Who are they?” I’d say they’re fashion dolls inspired by The Matrix, and the collector’s response would be, “Nicely made, but if it’s not Trinity or a character or exact fashion I recognise from the film… then I’m not interested”. Lessons learnt.

TD: Plans for accessory sets…where will you go with this? Will there be guns?

JS: No plans as yet for accessory sets of this nature. But who knows what the future will bring.

TD: What is your direct message to the people who would just look at the doll and say, ‘It’s not my thing.’ Knowing it’s because it’s plastic, a fashion doll, 16”, or otherwise competes with one of their faves like Ellowyne, Gene, Superdoll, et al?

JS: I’ve never been a fan of big headed dolls, so I’ve never collected Ellowyne, but I have and still collect Tonner Fashion Dolls that I love that speak to my aesthetic. Gene is a Fashion Doll icon, in all her incarnations, and she holds a special place in my heart and collection. The Superdoll Sybarites are incomparably the Fashion Doll Divas, and always will be in the Fashion Doll world at large and within my own collection. The Fashion Royalty 16″ (FR16) dolls by Integrity Toys are my favourite body sculpt currently on the market. Some of my favourite and loved dolls that I own aren’t 16″ fashion dolls, but their aesthetic and fashion sense and quality of sculpt resonates with me, like the beautiful dolls by New Zealand doll creator Jan MacLean. And there are other dolls that I love and have yet purchased, but intend to in the future, like “First Love” male Fashion Dolls by Joey Versaw. I won’t stop collecting the dolls out there by other brands and creators I love and support just because I’ve created my own doll, and I don’t expect other collectors to do that either if they start collecting mine. There is room in the Fashion Doll world to love many brands. What I’m offering is a new doll and brand to love amongst your other established Fashion Doll loves.

As to the nay-sayers, and the haters of plastic, 16″, or Fashion Dolls… I’ve had friends tell me I’m wasting my time and talent, and that my dolls look no different from the pack. I’ve had these same friends tell me that my doll’s body is offensive to them, and that they’re just not even interested to know more…. A simple “good luck” from these friends would have sufficed. But I understand each persons’ personal path informs them of what is of value to them, and these friends are not my target audience, and will never see what I see or am trying to achieve. If I can take this from friends, I’m well prepared to take similar from strangers. I’d rather invest my energy into impressing the supporting friends and collectors who love my dolls. As RuPaul has said, “I’m too busy loving the people who love me“. I’ve created what I’ve wanted and needed in the Fashion Doll world that I felt was not there for me already as a collector. My hope is that others will resonate with that same want and need, whether it’s been there for a while, or newly discovered when they see my GlamourOz dolls for the first time.

...I added one more question for Jozef, after seeing reactions from a couple of people online... Stratos Bacalis: There have been a couple of collectors that have commented that your doll body resembles another company's 16" doll vinyl body. How do you respond to that?

JS: I don’t follow trends, I like to think, I create them. I create what I like to see in a doll, and hope that collectors will like it. I actually hand sculpted my original Sculpy GlamourOz doll sculpt at 22″, starting that sculpt in 2006, so as not to be influenced at all by any other 16″ doll trends, whether resin or hard plastic/vinyl. The GlamourOz Dolls 22" Sculpy doll sculpt was only resized to her current height of 17" after scanning the 22" parts. When you compare my previous Elizabet Bizelle doll release from 2003 to my current GlamourOz Dolls, you’ll see that the details and aesthetic I’ve followed and developed on... and applied to my GlamourOz Dolls' body, is my own.

The reason I originally sculpted and created my original 2003 Elizabet Bizelle doll was to create a doll sculpt that embodied the elongated grace of my own art and sculptural aesthetics, with the illusion of movement sculptural pose, at a time when the contemporary dolls had a static and robotic stance. My first Elizabet doll's body from 2003, which incommensurately stands apart from its then contemporaries because of these differences, has providence in the torso and elongated look: the neck, shoulders, bosom, ribs, tummy and hip detailing and elongated grace from head to toe, and even through to its fingertips, that predates by about seven years the aesthetics other doll companies (which I'm sure these collectors are referring to) are now similarly exploring for their own lines. Granted 2003 is a while ago now, some collectors may not have seen nor heard of my first Elizabet Bizelle doll, as only a few hundred were produced. Though the timeline is there (check out a photo album here).

I'm flattered that my earlier doll work and sculptural details and aesthetic have made an impact, to some later released dolls within the Fashion Doll world, both within 12" and 16". Though however lovely they have been with some of these shared aesthetics, they still have not captured nor satisfied the wants and needs I still craved as a collector, or as a doll sculptor/creator. My GlamourOz Dolls are at least, that answer for me that satisfies my needs and wants in an articulated Fashion Doll. My hope is that collectors will resonate with the differences I bring to my GODs with my own sculptural aesthetics, and share that same want and need, too.

New and Original 2003 Comparisons

If you’d like to know more, or be added to Jozef's mailing list, please contact him via his website: www.glamourozdolls.com

Note: all photos and art © Jozef Szekeres. Original interview by permission of Tommydoll. GlamourOz dolls are prototypes only

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