#even the word disgusts me

[anotherpapercut]

apparently my partners 19 year old sisters told him that fireflies by owl city is "embarrassing" and that young people don't like it

I just want to establish right now that this is a pro fireflies by owl city blog and if you don't want to get a thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs with Adam Young then you're fucking dead to me and you should just block me right now

#I'm disgusted #the face i made when he told me #i ws speechless #these ungrateful mfs #they don't even KNOW #fucking unbelievable #im not on tik tok so idk if this is like a tik tok thing but it disgusts me im repulsed #owly city forever #ok this is gaining notes unfortunately so just wanna say this isnt an i hate teenagers post please do not put words in my mouth #this is an i hate people who hate owl city post using the information i was given #which is 2 teenagers saying that young people do not like it. ive already had several wonderful teens tell me these girls are wrong! #which we love to see!! #hello cool teens who like owl city ur doin great!

[hpowellsmith]

I just want to let people know about my games and have some gentle chat with the people who play them or are interested in them, and learn about other games and books I might like without my words getting scraped or being bombarded with hate or bots every time I open it up, how is this too much to ask

I'm planning to stick around here for the moment but if you're planning not to do Tumblr anymore please follow me on itch, subscribe for free to my Patreon, or follow my Honor Bound thread on the CoG forum to keep up with what I'm up to. I hope to keep on doing this writing thing, but if no one knows what I'm making that possibility will fade out very fast!

Mostly due to panic, I'm very vaguely considering doing a free devlog newsletter, possibly folding my £1 Patreon newsflashes into it (they include more detail about what I've been writing, the writing process, and small previews), but have no idea about logistics or how much it costs - do you think you'd be interested in that?

to be clear, the newsletter would be free not paid!

#tech industry is a pit #to be clear I'm fortunate not to get bombarded with hate here #but I deleted twitter partly bc Everything and bc even with muted words I was seeing so much disgusting stuff that it made me anxious #this is the only social media site that doesn't regularly turn me into a ball of anxiety (jury's out on bluesky) #reddit is... fine but has its own techindustry issues and I've had some very odd interactions on there

[bittersweetresilience]

it feels cosmically unfair that i think about writing all the time want to write all the time and sit down to write all the time and i come up with two sentences at best. there should be some reward system i think

#RAAAAAAAAAA #the thing is i know why i'm stuck it's because i get overly wrapped up in meaningless details of word choice and sentence structure #and i need every word to be perfect before i can move on to the next and that just creates an interminable cycle of being so slow to #progress i feel like even more like a failure and imperfect and respond by being even more intense about it #in spite of the fact that almost no reader is going to look at my work and go hey nice i noticed you used a word with an aesthetically #pleasing number of letters here as opposed to a word ending in t which would have ruined the flow and disgusted me forever #but it's not about the readers i'm the one who reads it and gets disgusted forever #and i know this does not matter but it feels like there is no conceivable way i could write something without it being perfect first try #fucking hilariously i edited the tags of this post for a good ten minutes because the spacing of the words was bothering me so i had to #find words with different lengths as replacements #RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #anyway i'm doing wonderfully #this is about soulmate au i think maybe because it's so important to me i'm especially perfectionistic over it right now #brain can you stop it i'm on my hands and knees #also t is the worst letter invented hands down. no question.

[pansyfemme]

im having anxiety so bad right now that im overwhelmed by noise but quiet is making me so paranoid i cant not have my headphones in

#ive been venting on tumblr since day one of this account but this feels different now #i dont know where to go sometimes i dont want to wake up friends or therapists or parents or even really talk one on one #i just want to speak and people to read it i guess #but ive become really obsessive about being a bad person and its ruining my life lately #there was an incident at home that made me go back into this old thought process i have #and the roomate struggles have made it worse #i feel needy and constantly needing attention and validation and it makes me sick #i want to tell people i love them constantly because i need to but then i convince myself thats also bad that must be manipulation #everytime i dislike someone they must know it and hate me and find me disgusting #im like so tired of obsessions #of not being able to hear words i cant make out without becoming obsessive about how people must be talking about me #and i hate the aftershocks of shame of assuming im even important enough to be talked about #vent tw

[remusjohnslupin]

Hey, Tolkien fandom!

Do you guys ever just sit there, as peaceful as a hobbit in the Shire, lost in your own thoughts in a beautiful place, thinking about how blessed we all are to have read J.R.R Tolkien's writing, to have received the blessing of Christopher Tolkien's continuation of his father's work, and to have seen Peter Jackson's glorious adaptation of it all? Your chest expands whenever you think about the Battles of Beleriand (for good or ill), Beren and Lúthien's journey and how their love changed the course of Middle-earth, Theoden's speech when they were about to save Minas Tirith. Right?

But then...

You remember that Rings of Power exists. That it's a thing that's been made.

That's just sad. And an outright desecration.

#ropgarbage #srsly #I was reading the silmarillion for the 9374839th time #as I tend to do #and I took a break to check what tumblr was up to #and for some reason #even though I blocked all the rings of power tags #there was a rop content in my mentions which really couldn't have come at a worst time #and it hits you REALLY hard #like... how much of an insult rings of power is to our beloved professor's work #there are no words #you can make fun of me it's fine #fine I am a tolkien nerd... and proud of it #but I am genuinely angry #that this trash called rings of power #even exists #I will crap on this disgusting thing until the day I die

[the-meme-monarch]

no y'know what i am going to be a little hater about cooking actually. particularly how i see people handling raw meat. I have seen too many Professional Chefs fucking touch raw meat bare handed and then just wipe their hands on a towel before touching something else. fucker you WASH YOUR HANDS. BEFORE AND AFTER TOUCHING RAW MEAT. DO YOU HEAR ME. SOAP AND HOT WATER. and that TOWEL is contaminated too now. you're just going to put it down to let other people touch that? sling it over your shoulder and get it on your clothes?? and then also I'll see people wear gloves and touch raw meat and put it on a plate and then TOUCH the OUTSIDE OF THE PLATE to hold it and move it like to the fridge or whatever. YOU'RE JUST GOING TO TOUCH THE PLATE AGAIN LATER. POSSIBLY WITHOUT THE GLOVES? those germs on the outside of the plate aren't going to die. but you will I'm going to fucking kill you over this

#germs YUCKY raw meat germs YUCKY #food mention #is NOBODY else worried about the god damn cross contamination . it Sickens me in the real #i am Barely even playing up my disgust for this kind of thing like its not even funny to me !!!!!!!! #words from the monarch

[tarantula-hawk-wasp]

I think I’m gonna have to ask for an extension on this paper but i hate doing that so much I might drop out instead

#and I need the extension bc I’m so swamped grading #which is a self created problem and I’ve been behind on grading all semester which I feel terrible about #It’s my fucking job and my like obligation but I can’t fucking keep up and I know I’m not meeting even a low bar for timely feedback #executive dysfunction makes me want to kms sometimes #I’m so frustrated with myself I cannot put this feeling of self disgust into words #I’m like if a girl who found poor self discipline a loathsome trait had awful executive dysfunction

[perenlop]

sorry to harp on this but i think long video essays have become this thing that people decide that they don't like personally, and like that's alright, but for some reason they have to justify that dislike by making it a moral discussion rather than something that just comes down to preference and not all of those videos being well made. like you can't just say "i don't like quinton reviews or hbomberguy cause their vids are too long and that's just not for me" you gotta say "quinton reviews and hbomberguy are DISGUSTING people for forcing their audience to watch HALF ASSED CONTENT and oh they just want your MONEY and they're not ARTISTS they don't CARE about you and they're scammers and-"

#like one thing ill agree on is that these would do well with transcripts if people want to get in on them but dont want to watch #which i totally agree on. like i dont like audiobooks or ebooks i prefer to read physical copies cause i process them better #but you dont see me waging war on audiobooks cause i have a hard time processing spoken words with no visual over written ones #because thats a me thing and its the opposite for plenty of people #sorry actually we have to cancel every podcast ever made because they have no visuals and i cant listen for that long #im passionate abt this cause people will harass these creators and call them disgusting freaks with no talent or substance #and like. its super uncalled for??? like their worst crime is that some of the analysis feels unnecessary #you cant even say quinton reviews is just summary either bc he goes into merch and the climate around the shows #idk like. you dont need an ethical reason to not like something. you can just not like something and leave it at that #echoed voice

[yuridovewing]

As a fellow Dovewing lover, it's frustrating how the fandom watered her down into a whiny brat who never cared about Ivypool. I mean, seriously? Not only did Dovewing care about her sister (reacting in horror when Lionblaze, her own mentor and Jayfeather are willing to potentially sacrifice Ivypool's safety by employing her as her spy instead of trying to get her out of the Dark Forest's clutches, hiding a thorn in her nest to cover for her scarring from her training).

Heck, even the scene where she tries to feed Ivypool her catch during a hunting patrol was demonized because 'she was trying to make Ivypool break the code like SHE does, as if it doesn't matter' and because she got upset when Ivypool started arguing with her! But you guys said she didn't care, right? Plus, people act like being forced into a prophecy is something you should be grateful for, as if it didn't irreparably change her close relationship with her sister? As if Lionblaze and Jayfeather didn't still keep her out of the loop (and for all the fussing they made about keeping it a secret, Lionblaze confesses his power to Cinderheart and Jayfeather doesn't even care).

Meanwhile Nightheart is angry he isn't orange and hates his mom for being exiled and the whole world has to stop for him. 🤪 And Bramblestar is simply so tortured by having an evil father, the only choice is to train with him and his evil half-brother and hide this from his wife! (But remember, it's bad when that witch Squirrelflight hides the parentage of the three from him, even when Blackstar and Leopardstar were still around after being complicit in the torture and killing of halfclan cats.) Why are these male characters sympathized with, even when they actively harm people (Nightheart forcing himself into Sunbeam's life by lying to everyone about being her mate without even asking her if she would be fine with that beforehand), Bramblestar (we all know what he does), but when Dovewing or any other female character is upset, people freak out and call them whiny brats or abusive for (checks notes) asking her partner if he loves her anymore after they argued multiple times in a book. Really makes you think! (Sorry this is so long, you just have based opinions!)

dovewing being characterized as this flighty airheaded vain popular girl stereotype in fanon is like. one of those biggest "we didnt actually read the books" things in the fandom. like theres so much fanart where shes grinning and giggling over the prophecy and shes besties with the trio and shes got preferential treatment, and then in the actual books shes basically the autistic kid no one actually likes. people really, REALLY overexaggerate that one scene where she snaps at ivypaw and brags. (and i dont wanna shit on amvs but i am forever side eying how the animation community handled dove back in the day. more than one person animated her getting murdered. normal.)

i do think its gotten better recently at least. but wow does it feel like at least one person on the writing team has a bone to pick

(also awww thank you <3 no need to be sorry i love getting stuff in my inbox)

#it does also feel so insidious to me just how long the bramblesquirrel conflict was painted as ''equally kind of wrong'' #the ppl who put words in squilfs mouth sometimes which. btw ill get to that when i read the book #and tbf part of it is that sometimes abuse isnt as easy to spot if youre primed to the mainstream version of it #like. bramble isnt a born evil wifebeater everyone can see coming from a mile away. hes a complex guy with his own insecurities #and his own goals and people he openly cares about. and even in some fanon stuff i see ppl kinda erase that part of him #(which i wont pretend im above- ive been trying to walk that line myself) #and that doesnt match how abusers are usually percieved by the public. or in this very series. #like. the main excuse for clear sky is literally ''hes sad his sister died and tried to save her! no one changes THAT much'' #anyone can be an abuser. you could be an abuser. i could be an abuser. that doesnt mean that we ARE but we are capable of it #and the thing that catches ppl off guard is that abusers are really good at hiding who they are and theyre often charming #i often hear this account of abuse that goes something like ''my parent abused me but no one believed me bc theyre nice in public'' #you dont know whats going on behind closed doors. and ik this is about funny kitties at the end of the day but its quite telling #so... yeah bramble has his nice moments. hes got his GREAT moments even. i love his relationship with his mom for example #but those moments dont mean that hes not capable of being worse. of being a monster to his loved ones #its why squilf keeps getting sucked back in. hes not a one dimensional asshole. hes capable of being kind to her. #and thats what makes his disgusting moments hit so much harder #wow ok i got off topic in the tags but yknow. idk i got feelings abt this matter as someone who's experienced toxic relationships

[llitchilitchi]

sorry I know I said I don't do discourse but this has bothered me So Much since this whole catastrophe has started

the original statement was worded so vaguely yet precisely enough to get a very different image across to the listeners. like the wording was vague in a sense that made it sound like what went down was much, much more sinister and in a way that would resonate with victims of SA who were actually touched in areas around their genitals or other places on their bodies that are generally considered very sexual. the whole thing was worded in a way that made it hard to listen to for people who went through SA so they would fill out the blanks with things they experienced. and it makes me so very angry that something like this was used against an innocent man and against all the victims that wanted to support her.

#litchi.txt #vent #discourse #its just. since I first heard it because I did watch the stream #I couldnt even go through the full thing because it made me sick in the stomach #the wording was way too specific to Not conjure up images of hand that goes way too low on the waist or way too close to breasts #or between thighs #like that was so fucking intentional because it feels shameful to admit that someone touched you like that #especially because men do that and they slide their hands under your clothes and its Disgusting #and idk. I just feel gross for her and for myself. I feel used in that way. its awful

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[pronouncingitwang]

SORRY but the nightingale line was so fucking annoying maybe i have an incredibly low tolerance for self-referentialness but why would that line mean anything to the two of them

#and in the middle of a killer scene at that #also if we're complaining about dialogue during the scene. the word toxic was jarring #let me be a script editor i need to get my hands on that fucking thing #the jump out of a window confrontation needs to be moved UP the antagonism/disgust there needs to remain consistent throughout #muriel and heaven need to pose a larger threat. THE BOOK OF LIFE THING DIDN'T EVEN MATTER?? WHY MENTION IT THEN #also the fucking. shax trying to get at maggie's insecurities thing WHO CARESSS WE DON'T KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH #and we're supposed to believe a comment about sushi would affect aziraphale's mood. at all. #I'm just SOOOOOO. i need to get in there w a red pen let me fix your godawful writing #good omens spoilers

[tariah23]

im so sorry you got nasty asks ppl can be so vile. i love seeing you on my dash and you always have the best posts and put great stuff on my dash. ive never watched naruto but i dont mind seeing that either <3 ily i hope youre doing ok outside of ppl being terrible

They had me like this, anon...

#they tried to call me a terf and I’ll never forgive that 😵‍💫 #all because I pointed out some antiblackness- #I don’t expect much from wp and nbs here especially lgbt white folks since they’ve been the main ones running black bloggers off for years #especially black trans and cis black women for even uttering the word #they forget that at the end of the day they are still white and can hurt us #it was just #uncomfortable for me :( #but I’m not used to being harassed so I was like 🤷🏾‍♀️! #I had to delete sm messages 🗿 #tumblr is not a welcoming place for black bloggers so #it’s never rly been but I won’t leave until this site completely implodes (it’s getting there) #one thing about lgbt whites they’re gonna call a black blogger a transphobe for ever criticizing them ever even if they’re trans 😵‍💫 #I hate how common this is on here it’s disgusting #all I do is post about anime and complain I don’t be bothering no one 😭 #anon you’re so kind I rly appreciate this message 😵‍💫❤️! #thanks for caring lmfaoo #also #I FEEL LIKE……. you’ll probably go crazy if you watched Naruto sorry……. #please don’t watch or read it ever… I’m begging- but the perks of reading and watching Naruto is that you get to meet Naruto and sasuke 😭!!! #guys of all time!!!!!!! #I’ve been trying my best to be normal about it since I’m an adult but I… sorry I’m so sorry anon I’m embarrassing #it’s kind of hard to dislike something that you’ve been into since you were in middle school 😭…… #I’ll love Naruto forever even if it sucks lol #anonymous #tkf replies

[d2fybwvzdcbyzwdhcmrz]

I am actually deeply and profoundly lonely and also losing my mind but shh it’s a secret

#unrequited pining #sapphic love #lesbian pining #wlw longing #help help help #how do I even tag this #I think it is not good that my entire mental state depends on if she comes off as wanting to talk to me today or not #like it’s a problem #she doesn’t even know how bad this is #ugh im in love #ugh I want to explode #crush on best friend #nevermind crush isn’t a strong enough word #im actually insane #to yearn always sounded too delicate to me. whatever I experience is much more disgusting #I think that’s how the quote goes #anyway u get it

[blackberryjambaby]

oh my god i walked to get something from a drawer & it's dark but i didn't bother turning a light on because it's two steps in my bedroom what could possibly go wrong?? well i stood on something soft-ish & cold, i jumped back in shock/horror/surprise & turned my torch on to see the withering tail (& ONLY the tail) of the gecko that lives in my room. so that's great i feel fine & not like throwing up at all

#remy says #i'm so deeply horrified #i don't know what to do. is he gonna be ok?? i know they can live just fine without tails but that had to have hurt right??? #god i don't even know how to describe the sight of the tail just. there. withering isn't a strong enough word #they should make horror films about this #raukawa gecko #tw emetophobia #? #i think someone asked me to tag for that but i cant remember #god i feel so disgusted

[grlfriends]

can i pls move out can i pls move out can i pls move out im so tired of living with my mom it's the way she hates humanities it's the way she has disgusting habits it's the way she doesn't even try to understand any sort of nuance it's the way she sees any type of nudity as pornographic it's the way I'll never be free if she's here with me

#i feel like we're both parasites for each other I'm sucking her money and shes sucking my will to live #i never want to comeback home bc it isn't a home if she's there i wish i could move out without even saying a word #just dissappearing one day and never have to answer anything or have to worry about her reactions to things #i feel nauseous sometimes it makes me feel sick to hear her words i feel disgusted it's poisonous even #g.txt