#esp the beret. like i connect so hardcore with him being the go-to medic of the group (@family friends: i do not possess my dad’s expertise

[iinmysights]

tfw you’re so mentally unwell and desperate for an older brother like so many people online have that you

#Ravage.txt #dl #vent cw #ugh. UGH. #i love this show i watch with dad i genuinely do but at the same time it makes me feel sick seeing the brotherly bond these four have #esp the beret. like i connect so hardcore with him being the go-to medic of the group (@family friends: i do not possess my dad’s expertise #but i DO possess pattern recognition and puzzle solving skills and common sense and google) and being the/a caretaker basically. seeing them #prank each other and joke and drop each other in crazy ass places with a laugh while still caring deeply for the health and safety of #whoever got royally fucked over that round. fuckin military produces such steadfast bonds man it’s a found family system built in if you #survive everything and i wish i could find that bond outside of it. i’ll never have that with either of my brothers and no one around me #seems to understand just how badly it hurts to hear about how great all these other older brothers are to their younger siblings. i want #that too. why couldn’t i have it? why can’t i have it? #i don’t wanna. sign up to be nearly killed and then go kill a bunch of people just for that bond. but man. man. maybe i need to connect w #some military dudes or some shit i don’t know i don’t know. i’m just. fucking miserable right now. #i’m trying so hard to be grateful for the life that i have (esp when ive seen how it could’ve been so much worse at so many different points #in it) but fuck dude. i just want a guy who’s the older brother to my younger sibling. and a cat who doesn’t sleep on my blanket in the 5 #minutes i spend with it off of me so that i could get pickles.