#enjoy these Completely Unfounded Wheaty Headcanons

[8bitpizzacoupons]

ღ for Crystal & Wheaty?

Who’s the first to wake up in the morning: Crystal, surprisingly. Her body’s adapted after years of being booted out of mens’ beds before their wives came home, so she has an easier time getting up in the morning. Wheaty’s not coherent until he’s had his coffee.

Who’s the one to make breakfast: Wheaty, if popping some frozen breakfast sandwiches in the microwave counts as “making breakfast.” Usually Crystal’s already helped herself to the cereal and milk by then. She doesn’t think to pour him any, but she does put the coffee on for him.

Who’s the one to serve the other breakfast in bed: Neither one of them would be into that. For Crystal that’d be way more affectionate than she’s comfortable with, and for Wheaty it’d just remind him of when he and his dad would bring his mom pancakes in bed on mothers’ day. It’s not something he wants to associate with a partner, and it’d just make him sad. He hasn’t seen his folks since the Reaping.

Who would suggest a quickie in the morning before work: Crystal 100%. Even when they were both with the Whitetail Militia and sharing a 4x4 room in a bunker with like 10 other people. (Wheaty thought they were being quiet enough that no one would notice. They were not quiet enough. I’m so sorry, Eli.)

Who suggests they both ditch work to lay around all day: Crystal - that was the purpose of the quickie.

Who chooses the movies: It was Crystal at first. Wheaty didn’t know any other blind people when he met her so he assumed asking her to “watch” a movie would be a faux-pas. But it turned out that the movies she liked were garbage and he couldn’t take it after a while, so he started recommending things. He’s big into indie movies so all his favorites were things she’d never heard of before. Some of them are a little more ~intellectual~ than what she was used to, but she did end up digging them.

Who initiates kissing during the moving, thus distracting the other from the movie all together: It used to be Wheaty, when Crystal was subjecting him to cheap horror movies with horrible writing and nonsense plots. He doesn’t do that when he can pick the movie, and when Crystal tries to get touchy-feely he’ll stop kissing her and be like “wait wait, my favorite scene’s coming up.”

Who orders lunch: They order their own food, and split the bill when it’s not a special occasion. Crystal’s the “excuse me he said no pickles”girlfriend though.

Who steals food from the other’s plate without asking: Wheaty tried it with her once, since he saw that was something Crystal and Logan did together. She nearly stuck him with a fork.

Who curls up next to the other and falls asleep due to a full tummy: Wheaty, since he’s more susceptible to food comas. Crystal is simply too powerful. She’d never admit it, but she likes the way he’ll lean against her like that.

Who distracts the other from trying to work at home: Crystal definitely tried to distract him from his militia duties. Half those times Eli barked at him to get off his ass were because Crystal convinced him to take a snack break, or she came by to talk about nothing, or she was bored and decided to amuse herself by picking on him while he was busy. Wheaty’s mood dipped when Crystal had to leave the bunker, but he was a lot more productive.

Who asks to go get ice cream like a five year old: Neither one asks specifically, but they go on gas station snack runs, and ice cream sandwiches are Crystal’s favorite things to steal. She likes how nice n cool they are against her leg in the pocket of her cargo shorts, and how she knows she won’t forget it and let it melt like she does with chocolate bars.

Who takes pictures of their partner eating ice cream: They don’t, since neither one likes to take pictures, and they’re not very photogenic when they’re eating snacks. Maybe if they went on a cute date at an ice cream parlor or something, Wheaty would want to have a picture to remember the moment, but most of the time they eat ice cream just sitting on a curb in the middle of the night.

Who makes a sexual joke about the dripping ice cream on their partner’s face: Neither one does, but Crystal refers to ice cream dripping down her own face as “getting nutted on.” She can’t see Wheaty’s look of disgust when she does so, but she knows it’s there and that brings her joy.

Who cooks dinner: Wheaty’s the one who sticks the pizza bagels in the oven. Crystal’s the one who notices them burning and tells him that maybe he should take them out soon.

Who cleans up the kitchen afterwards: Wheaty, since it’s his kitchen and he’s the chef. And also because Crystal is lazy.

Who stays up until 2 reading: Crystal didn’t have time to bring any of her braille books with her to the Militia’s bunker, so there isn’t anything she can read. She and Wheaty got their hands on one of Tammy’s harlequin romance paperbacks somehow, though - sometimes they’d stay up, crammed side by side on Wheaty’s cot, and Wheaty would (quietly) read them dramatically to her. Crystal gave commentary that would make him laugh. (Tammy found out about it, rolled her eyes, and didn’t say anything to them. She figured she’d let them have their little moment of brevity.)

Who stares at their partner while their sleeping: Crystal lies awake and listens to Wheaty’s breathing. Sometimes he falls asleep against her and she won’t pull away, she’ll just lay and listen.

Who kisses their partner while they sleep: Wheaty did once, and she woke up just enough to sleepily push his face away and mumble something like “Easy, loverboy.” He’s been too embarrassed to do it since.

#thanks for the questions!! #enjoy these Completely Unfounded Wheaty Headcanons #oc: crystal jones #wheaty #wheaty fc5