#elliot krangsdt

[systemic-dreams]

I made a playlist for Elliot Krangsdt! it's not perfect, but I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you enjoy :)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/74AkiNXEmX08a5NwEqQedm?si=MXJCo-P7Tj-arIF93s4XKw

I've been listening to this all day. what a jam. it's so different to what i usually listen to. like walking into a room with brightly coloured walls.

"sometimes the only road to take is the darkest" really hits. i think Evan only ever took that road and Elliot is still confused about having other options. like, there's a fork in the road now but the light side is unfamiliar, so he needs to be dragged in and told it's okay, it's not a trick

literally all of momento mori gets it. but it's so upbeat and almost playful in tone. i get an insomnia/insanity vibe. staying up way too long and going a little crazy. or a lot crazy.

hollow moon was very acoustic and folksy. i had to look up the lyrics because i was missing them with all the flourishes but damn. "if I made my bed, did I make the demons in it?" ummm. yes. I think as much as Evan had actual demons, Elliot is creating phantom demons to fill the holes the horrors have left in his psyche. and his decisions absolutely created the demons that plague him now. spot on.

lampshades' "fear makes us really really run around" is 100% Elliot but also Evan. whenever he was afraid or uncomfortable, Brennan would try to move him out of the scene or just leave the space. but the pilot program would follow instead of letting him go alone. which made the exits seem like transitions instead of escapes. Even Evan's exit from the school which the pilots stop in the series, is Evan removing himself from the area because he's afraid of what he will do to do people close to him. Elliot has a different problem, in that, dangerous things are happening to people he cares about and he runs around trying to fix them out of fear they will be hurt or killed.

"i'd give an arm and a leg, just to go, just to be on my own, but i need to stay and fend for myself." definitely an adult Elliot feeling. I think younger Elliot tried to leave the Krangsdts multiple times. just because of past experience with foster families either treating Evan poorly or getting eaten by monsters. and he doesn't remember, but the feeling of being in a house with people in it is not a comfortable one. I think he eventually learned he cant just go AWOL but he still couldnt live in a house with people in it. the excuse he made to himself would be: he needed somewhere to stash his vampire hunting gear and crash when he gets beat up so he doesnt look sus or worry anyone. but its more than that.

cicada days really got me with lines like "it just feels inhuman to lose this much" i mean, fr. I don't think Evan is human or considers himself human. no one can go through that much trauma and come out sane. it's a miracle or some form of magic that keeps a spark of naivety and hope and goodness alive in him. even if he's super broken. there's cynicism in his personality but it's more of a healthy scientific skepticism. it isn't despair. there's a lot of pain that comes from keeping that spark of good alive within incalculable darkness. and you get hit with "now it feels damn inhumane to get all i've dreamt of" which i think is more applicable to the later chapters i havent published. but there is massive guilt there. like, 'it's too good to be true', 'what's the catch?', why? how? waiting for it all to come crashing down because it couldnt all possibly be happening.

also, "cause when you leave you know you take more than your love" i feel hits more with K. because it's unsaid between them. there's not enough time to process feelings. they barely confess and suddenly it's time to part. and you cant say 'i love you' yet. but you want to. but it's just too much and its probably not true. and when Evan leaves, he does take that love with him and also their futures.

moonsickness is so raw with "I'm the worst mistake your god has ever made". it's too bad i don't like penelope scott's voice or tone. she might as well be ordering a pizza over the phone lol. great lyrics though. i would love to hear a cover that does them justice. i think early Elliot does feel like a mistake and that plagues him for a while. my plan was to have the pilot program flip the switch eventually and turn it into "I'm the worst mistake your god has ever made and I'm gonna make it your problem." but i don't know if i'll ever get there. writing hard hurr durr

this was so fun! thank you for sharing! I've never made a playlist for Elliot because in my mind he was always a caricature of every popular emo song i could think of. stuff that K and Cody Walsh would think is cool but in reality would be a nightmare. when i put them in a playlist, it became clear why he is my blorbo lol.

please find attached: my emo son - the playlist

#elliot krangsdt #spotify playlist #blorbo from my fanfic