#edit: no it doesn’t even affect my grade yes I’m being irrational and yes I’m still upset bc it’s gonna cost money to fail😭😭😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

edjectedly · 5 years

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One Long Semester

So... a day later than I said (We are going to ignore the fact I said there would be a part two a year ago), but I realized this had to be three parts so, here is part two! A sequel to I Just Wanted a Good Grade which was inspired by @tsfanart so thank you again for starting this!! Shout to @fuzzypurplecloud for putting up with my complaining during this process, and @sanders-trash-4ever for editing!

Warnings: Lying, overthinking, minor self blaming

Words: 1291

Parings: Background Royality, Eventual Analogical

Tags: @irrelevantbutfabulous, @chemically-imbalanced-romance, @total-trash-emo, @llamaly, @himrachel, @a-wild-zaneta, @acrobaticcatfeline, @fuzzypurplecloud @emphoenixcat @tree4life25 @vergeangst @ashrain5 @thisrandomperson102 @callboxkat @princelogical @meginoi @moxiety--sanders101 @poisonedapples @say-no-to-this-but-its-laurens @kanejandkruge @lizaelsparrow

Logan could barely wrap his head around the events of tonight. He was hopelessly infatuated with the purple haired, emo, graphic design major that just so happened to be the roommate of his close childhood friend. Said close friend had tried to introduce them several times, but Logan always managed to get out of those encounters and thus would never actually meet the person whom he admired so deeply.

He didn’t understand his feelings, similarly to how he didn’t understand the man who made him feel this way. He also didn’t understand why Roman was so insistent on him dealing with his feelings. Feelings were inherently illogical, but when Roman texted him begging for help, Logan just could not say no. Logan thought that maybe meeting the person of his affections would help him get over it, but no. Watching Virgil grow to understand a subject that had clearly just been explained poorly had only made Logan fall harder. And with Virgil’s newfound understanding should have come the end of their interactions, and Logan thought that would be the end of it. Then he had gotten that one fateful text.

Virgil had needed him again, and who was he to deny someone knowledge? So, he had made the trek across campus to see him, only for the other to start panicking when Roman came in. It had seemed so simple at the time, to just lie and say they were dating, except for the fact that Logan decidedly didn’t want it to be a lie. He actually wanted to get to know someone that was not being pushed upon him by someone else.

Then everything just fell into place, the double dates with Roman and Patton, the study sessions with just him and Virgil, movie nights where Virgil always managed to fall asleep on him right before the end. Logan even learned how to help him through a panic attack, and though he’d never want Virgil to go through another one ever again, he was glad he was trusted to help. Everything was perfect, but Logan knew that eventually the semester would end and he did not know what to do. He didn’t want anything to change, barring his wishes possibly becoming a reality. Which lead Logan to do something he never thought he’d do. He went to Patton.

Logan hadn’t been sure exactly how to breach the topic to him without exposing their lie, but he was stuck in a loop of not knowing what to do, and so when he finally met with Patton, he had accidentally confessed everything. It had all just poured out in a way extremely uncharacteristic of Logan, which he would never admit to.

At first Patton seemed a little bit upset about the lying, but ultimately he understood why they did it, and he was willing to help Logan figure somethings out.

“So, you like Virgil, why not tell him?” Patton asked, as they sat in his dorm.

The question itself was simple enough, but Logan didn’t have any idea how to respond.

Logan sighed, running his hand through his hair, “I don’t want to mess up what we already have.”

“Logan, what you have right now is nice, but wouldn’t it be even better if it was real?”

“You’re correct, but I do not wish to stress him out before his final. That seems counterproductive to all the work he has put in over the semester and I won’t let my… infatuation with him cost him the good grade he’s worked so hard to get.”

There was a brief pause, enough for Logan to look up at Patton and for Patton to offer him a knowing smile, “Yah know he may be just as worried about this as you are? I haven’t known Virge that long, but he is my anxious child, and as such, I have a pretty good grasp on how he thinks and what he worries about. Just think about it for a bit and tell me this. Doesn’t it stand to reason that he’s worried about where you two stand as well?”

Logan shifted uncomfortably, not liking where this was going, “Are you suggesting he would be more successful if we were to ‘update our relationship status’, metaphorically speaking?”

“That’s for you two to decide Lo, I don’t want either of you feeling… low!”

It took all of Logan’s willpower not to let out a sigh at the pun, instead shifting his eyes toward the ground, focused more on making a plan than anything else. He knew Virgil, and he knew that Virgil’s final was coming up in two weeks. Between him and Patton they could keep him distracted, and knowing Roman, he’d contribute without meaning to. That way, he couldn’t stress about potential feelings, and Logan would have more time to make a decision on how to deal with them.

“Patton, do you think you could help me minimize Virgil’s stress this week and next, so I have more time to properly assess the situation? That way I cause him no further emotional distress, and he can focus on his grades, which are more important.”

Patton pressed his lips into a tight line, his usually ever-present smile disappearing, “You know, feelings are just as important as grades right? I’m all for helpin’ you both calm down kiddo, but your feelings are important too.”

“If you didn’t understand earlier when I explained the situation, this is my fault, and therefore it is my job to resolve this mess in a way that will cause everyone the least amount of turmoil.”

“From what you told me,” corrected Patton, “All you did was give him a way out of a sticky situation where he just wasn’t ready to talk about whatever was going on. Sure there were other options, but you both thought that was best in the moment. It wouldn’t be smart to blame yourself for this.”

Logically, Logan knew Patton was correct, but for some reason he still felt distressed in regards to the whole situation. He didn’t feel right keeping his secret hidden from Virgil, but he knew he couldn't come clean to him today. He was too afraid, despite knowing that his fears were irrational.

Upon sensing the other’s growing distress, Patton quickly spoke up, “I’ll help you Lo, don’t worry. But, you have to promise me you’ll talk to Virgil before we go home for Christmas break. Do we have a deal?”

“Yes, of course,” Logan exclaimed, standing up, “Thank you so much Patton. I am certain that I can handle this situation, I just need some time.

“I’m sure you can,” Patton shrugged, smile returning to his face, “Just remember you aren’t alone anymore, and Virgil is your friend. He won’t just turn his back on you.”

“You are quite right, sometimes my emotions simply override my intelligence,” Logan paused for a moment before blurting out, “I’m sorry I have never come to you before for advice on matters such as this. You’re a lot wiser than I gave you credit for.”

“I know I met you because of Roman, but don’t forget I’m your friend too. I’m always here to help!”

With that, Patton opened his arms, and despite the fact that Logan normally did not participate in such displays, he felt himself subconsciously leaning in to embrace his bubbly friend. When he pulled away, Logan could not help but notice how much higher his tolerance for affection was now, as compared to the time before he had actually met Virgil.

A lot of changes had occurred when he grew closer to the purple haired emo, and hopefully they would continue to change for the better. Now all he had to do was wait.

#tw lying #overthinking #self blame #sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders mentioned #virgil sanders mention #fake dating au #ace writes

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vanaera · 6 years

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The First Dip

Synopsis | All of this is too new for Jungkook - realizing he’s in love with his bestfriend, trying his best to impress a lady, manning up to do the first move - everything is too new and he’s still clueless around these things but he still tries his best.

Genre | Fluff and a very small pinch of angst (football!jk + childhood friend!you)

Words | 3,286

A/N | Okay I can’t get football!jk out of my head so here I go - another installment of this drabble series!

Read more of football!jk drabbles in The Prince and His Rose

There’s something wrong along the lines. Something aberrant and definitely odd that emphasizes itself in one giant "What the hell" no matter how many times Jungkook adjusts his reading glasses.

Otor-nim Y/N: Hey can you check this out? What do you think? (8:46 P.M.)

Yeah, right, Jungkook will always check it out. However the minute he glanced over the text block you sent on Messenger ten minutes ago, Jungkook still doesn’t know why he feels disturbed at the same time giddy-happy. He settles for disturbed. He’ll be forever on his toes when he’s around you.

“Your eyes that held stars, every swirl of the inky black that promised another galaxy waiting to be found.”

Okay, sounds good but also weird. You have never delved into romantic poetries, as far as he knows, and this is definitely out of his comfort zone too. Jungkook scrolls down, losing himself in sentences you painted with love too surreal until his eyes drink the last words of your prose.

“You make me want to see you even in my dreams.”

“ You’re a world I will forever would want to be lost in.”

Jungkook fixes his glasses that were slipping on his nose as he strokes your words in ink across the pages you will never know about. At least not yet, he thinks, licking his lips as he finishes the line with a dot and a quotation mark along with your name and today’s date. He smiles wide at the page now marked with another art of yours along with his own little illustration of star-filled eyes and a galaxy boy holding the heart of his muse. He flips the pages to dwell on the few papers yet to be graced by words he wished was about you and him. You haven’t published anything yet in print but this black little notebook of his might be the first ever collection of your poems and prose. He chuckles, his chest rumbling with songs of the birds in his chest. Just before he could dwell again on the lines that had his heart swelling with affection, he hears a “ding!” that calls him back to his original purpose.

Otor-nim Y/N: What do you think of my drafts? (8:48 P.M.)

Oh right, he’s supposed to give a feedback. He unknowingly grins, his fingers dancing along the keyboard.

Star Kook: It’s good! No need to edit anything, it doesn’t sound cringey. Just pure admiration and romance. (8:49 P.M.)

Should he add more? There’s no harm asking right?

Star Kook: It looks like you’ve been eyeing a new inspiration lately huh? Who’s the lucky guy ;) (8:50 P.M.)

Otor-nim Y/N: Some eyecandy I’ve been staring at lately. I just imagined what having a handsome guy fawn over you felt like and I wrote that. There’s no harm daydreaming anyway and the fact that it didn’t sound like just me ‘daydreaming’ based on your feedback, I’m happy with it. Thanks Kookie! (8:50 P.M.)

Jungkook freezes. Eyecandy? You just saw where? When? You don’t spend a lot of time with guys other than him - wait. His forehead furrows as he grabs his phone to view his self camera. He doesn’t look that bad, right? Some people have told him he’s cute, so maybe it’s about him. Damn it, his cheeks are already reddening with the thought.

But then again, you’re a wonderful girl yourself and you have a couple of people orbiting around you and your ideas. He may think of you as his only rose in his garden of you and him but maybe you can’t even see him - just a tiny bud that’s taking too long to bloom - in the fields of flowers you probably collect from everyone that have adored you. The red notification on the name of his med student friend drives him to click it and remember why he’s even trying at all.

Nurse Doc Jimin: Hey, just read your message yesterday about you being emo again on your “unrequited love.” As I have numerously told you before (and I won’t stop telling you this to your blockhead self), you won’t know unless you tell her. So for you to tell her, you don’t have to bombard her with unrestrained feelings. Just up your game and make her notice it little by little. You’ve been toeing the testing waters far too long; try to man up and take a fucking dip, man. (8:53 P.M.)

It’s already one o’clock and he’s starving and you’re still stuck in class. Jungkook paces back and forth in front of the lecture hall, his bag strapped across his chest felt too heavy so he puts it on the chair he abandoned ten minutes ago. He doesn’t want to sit, feeling he will just get too jittery again, and so he sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. He checks his watch - twelve forty-five - okay maybe, he’s just being really impatient, but still your Physics class is taking too long. Jimin already told him in annoyance he could just head out and buy something after he messaged him non-stop about waiting for you too long and that you’re still not done yet with gravitational forces and distances.

Nurse Doc Jimin: Well, you could just text her and tell her to meet you in that café (12:47 PM)

Jungkook snickers; he still cares for his sappy ass no matter how much he liked annoying him. But he knows with his much-appreciated advice or not, he would shut down such thought with a stubborn "Nope, I’m gonna wait for her.”

He can’t bring himself to just get up and leave when he’s already waited thirty minutes for you. His effort will go down the drain, and it was well-established between you two even back in grade school that you both have to eat your meals together. He even remembers the pinky promise your seven-year-old chubby fingers sealed along with his own pinky. “No one eats first, no one leaves the other, okay?”

It was silly at first, but after knowing how you hate eating alone when you’re so used with warmth and hearty meals shared within close-knitted families like yours and his, he made it a point to fulfill his end of the promise whenever your schedules aligned or can be bended in some cases. He even got to the point he rudely nudged Jongin away last year just to get to the seat across yours in the cafeteria when he noticed the university’s top ballet dancer was headed to your direction. He knows he was being mean and irrational, but in his defense, that spot was his to begin with and he refuses to see another guy seated across you in tables for two other than him… well, your dad and brother are excluded from this ridiculous setting he made.

He just likes to see you talk a storm about another idea you got while eating, delving in things you love, bright eyes and glowing smile directed at nothing but him that the rest of the world seemed like only giant backdrops for him and you. He’s not ready to tell you that yet, so he usually tries to quell the fluttering of bird wings in his rib cage by teasing and playfully annoying you just to temporarily soften the intensity of the songs the birds in his chest sings whenever you’re near.

Just like now, he could already feel his heart picking up pace when he heard the student’s faint chuckles and chortles getting clearer by the second behind the door. He immediately shrugs off his jacket and shoves it in his bag just so he can stand up and lean on the wall with his elbow looking all suave. It wasn’t really that cold and Seokjin passed by him earlier and said his thin shirt emphasizes the muscles he was working on lately (that you still haven’t noticed, he bitterly thinks). Taehyung remarked after taking a shower from their morning practice that his styled hair looking slightly wet made him look cooler and dare he say, hot. He checked the mirror a thousand times today (a first time ever in his life) and he checks his self camera now for one last time, and yes, he thinks he looks fantastic and so eyecandy.

The door bursts open and students flock the hallway. Jungkook waved at some of his acquaintances; he also noticed some girls who glanced his way a little longer than necessary and he smiles wider because of the attention. He thinks it’s kind of normal for other students to stare at their university’s star football player whom they saw on printed tarpaulins in school gates, sometimes on television when autumn comes along with the annual university championships. But for today, he wants to be vain a little bit just for a confidence boost and so he thinks, “Maybe I do really look good today,” as he fixes his pose.

By the time the crowd was thinning a little, Jungkook hears the tinkle of your laughter and he tries to keep himself from grinning too much while setting his elbow firmer against the wall with his other hand settled on his waist. He may or may have not also flexed his biceps for good measure.

“Yeah and he looked so cute I wanna squeeze his cheeks and just he’s soo eyecandy I swear-“

Instead of seeing you getting flustered seeing him looking like a snack (like he thinks he is), Jungkook nearly falls back when your head collided with his chest, his arms already wounding around yours to keep you from tumbling. Your hands instantly found purchase on his biceps and he could feel the tender curve of your chest against his abdomen and shit, Jungkook thinks the birds in his chest may start singing so he immediately pries you off to hold you by your hands, an arms-length safe away from his frantic heart, so you could stand on your feet.

Jungkook’s cheeks heat up the minute you raise your head slowly to meet his eyes, your warmth radiating in his arms as if he was literally holding the sun, his sun. He releases his hold on your hands so fast as if he was burnt. Hands ruffling his hair he spent so much time styling, he breaks the silence, “Hey are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” you smooth out your skirt and Jungkook really feels the air was knocked out of him along with his confidence. The words to cooly invite you to lunch out with him now dying in his throat when you look so cute in a rose colored knitted sweater and red skirt. You look like a fucking fairy and shit, just so eyecandy. This is too much for his poor heart.

“Why the hell are you standing so near the door and doing this?” Jungkook looks at you copying his “eyecandy pose”, hand on your waist, elbow propped against the wall. You wear a frown but Jungkook will always recognize the teasing glint in your eyes along with your signature raised brows. Fuck, you’ll never gonna let him off the hook.

He opts to grab his bag and yell “Nevermind, I’ve been starving already waiting for you,” as he walks away so fast with his ears burning in embarrassment. You called for him to wait for you as you speedwalk to catch up to his long strides and Jungkook laughs just to hide the loud thumping of his heart.

Opening the door for you like he usually does, Jungkook leads you two to your usual table in Mark’s, the burger place you both frequent whenever one of you was feeling generous to treat the other with a fat wallet. Before you grab your seat, Jungkook zooms to your side to pull your chair for you and now he can see you looking funny at him. This is too strange for him too - doing the first move when he’s used to let you take initiative, him acting like a total gentleman when he’s been such a teasing, annoying ass to you for years – he’s literally not acting like his usual self. But with you muttering "What's gotten into you?", looking a little shaken with a telltale blush on your cheeks, Jungkook feels this kind of weird is something he’ll avidly do everyday just so he can see you grace that soft smile that always knocks out his heart.

Your order arrived a couple of minutes ago but you keep your hands laced together as you talk to him about a ballad you’re planning to write while waiting for his food.

“I mean I haven’t experienced love, and the last time I wrote about a romance story was when I was a kid –“

“The Prince and His Rose,” Jungkook supplies and you nod.

“Yeah, but today I finally thought of fully dive in the romance genre,“ you eyed Jungkook and you both said aloud, ”the genre - I - you - always avoid like a plague - "

You sigh, “and just practice how well I can deliver things that I haven’t felt yet. It’s not like I’ll be able to feel everything in this world right now but I think it would be nice to put yourselves in other’s shoes and think about how will such things really feel, right?”

“It may also be a nice training to be more empathic with your readers,” Jungkook smiles. “Wow, author-nim, you’re really going to the next level, huh,” he smirks and you swat his shoulder to which he cackled.

His food finally arrives and you start to unwrap your meal. “Anyway, I told you that because there’s a favor I need to ask from you.”

Jungkook bites his burger and motions you to continue.

“Can you come to my dorm tonight and help me with the drafts?”

Jungkook sputters, “What, wait what, you want me to?” He has never been invited by any girl before in their rooms and the last time he agreed to you to do so was when you're both 7-year-olds. It's totally different now, especially when his heart is treading on foreign waters you shouldn't know about yet anytime soon.

You set your food down before you grab his hands between your tiny ones. “Please, just tonight. My roommate will go back home today and I just need someone to give me advice face to face with the things I’ll write and sorry I know it must inconvenience you a lot but I just hate being alone for tonight and I promise-”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go.” Jungkook feels excitement and anxiety bubble in his diaphragm, but he hides it with a sigh and a downcast of his eyes to look as if he’s really burdened. He can’t really say no to you especially if he’s free for the whole night and here you are taking the words from his mouth just so he can be close to you. He keeps his dismayed forte, enjoying the way you try your puppy eyes that was effective on tugging the strings of his conscience back when you’re young. It still works today though the effect was centered on the soft muscle of his heart and a little bit on his brain now. God, he’s so whipped.

“What were you promising again?”

You sit upright and do the pledge pose you always made fun of because of him in grade school. “I’ll help you with the write ups you have to do because you’re falling behind the lit class due to the games.”

“Wow, you just have to state my negligence so nonchalantly in public.”

You make kissy faces at him. “What can I say? Perks of being a bestfriend.”

Later that night, Jungkook and you surround yourself in thousands of papers and words, pens lining and sighing with ink and letters of longing for some lover you never had. Jungkook doesn’t know why you needed him by your side in the first place when you're doing more than okay with your lines. He feels bad when he knows he can’t really help you out without giving away too much of the musings of his heart you don’t need to hear yet so he just suggests things you can tweak like “instead of blazing, write ‘scorching’, it has more feel to it,” or “you can add this to the fourth stanza.”

It wasn’t until you stood up to make some dinner that your phone rang with a new text message when Jungkook knew why you actually needed him. Another declined manuscript, failed deadlines - Of course you wouldn’t say it aloud to him, but he knows with your sudden workaholic tendency tonight, you’ve been escaping the reality, seeking comfort in your art and maybe in his presence. He doesn’t say anything and just meets your gaze across your counter to see you huffing about making him some french toast with a giggle. You may hide your disappointment in masked happiness so well, but the way your smile won't reach to a full curve will never be ignored by his eyes. Minute details may be surpassed with naked eyes, but after spending years with you playing hide and seek with him between the lines, he already knew the paths and directions your intentions and feelings will usually go.

After finishing dinner and you deciding not to divulge anything, Jungkook chooses to pull your blanket from your closet and drape it over your heads. The worn galaxies in its star printed fabric blankets you in reassuring comfort, a sanctuary you both found constellations back in high school whenever it just feels too good to leave everything behind. It will always be the closest space you could ever get while living in a suffocating world.

The softness of the cloth and the warmth of his arm he caressed your shoulders lulled your breathing to a noiseless slumber, head slumping against his shoulder. It’s far from peaceful when your face is scrunched but Jungkook thinks it’s better than seeing you suffer sleepless nights that have been getting worse when you’re stressed these days.

Jungkook picks up your limp form and carries you to your bedroom, lithe fingers tucking you under the sheets. With you asleep, he lets the birds in his heart sing in tremendous chorus as he presses a kiss on your forehead that automatically smoothened the tension your brows were holding.

He grabs the papers you both trailed on and arranges them on your desk when your small voice halts his movements.

"I'm feeling sad but here you are looking so..."

"What?"

“… not my fault you looked so eye candy earlier.”

It may be a wrong time but Jungkook can’t help but drop a little something when he knows you have a bad habit of blurting things you keep to yourself when you’re asleep. Back then, he used to poke fun at your weird habit but now when everything has changed, he will still tease you about that but he intends to find hope for the thorns of his anxiety poking his heart.

“Whose fault is it?”

“…Jeon Jungkook’s.”

That near-midnight, Jungkook escapes through your window when your RA made her rounds on your floor. He may have almost fallen on his bum but he thinks all his efforts for today are all worth it. He lays on his bed, the birds on his chest singing a ballad he never heard of before.

Epliogue

"So I heard you said I was so eyecandy huh?"

"When was that?!"

"I'm not gonna tell~"

"Jeon Jungkook, come back here!"

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