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#each day in this acc and my clown came out even more i see but eh
popponn · 7 months
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you know in my country there are some jokes i really wish i could use in english but THEN THEY ARE NOT AS FUNNY. so here is me explaining them like cyno
"pelan pelan pak supir" - please slow down mister driver - like you use this when the other party is immediately getting to the point in a very quick and blunt wording.
"minimal skill satu dulu" - at least use the first skill first (in gnsn language, use e before q / ultimate) - same as pls slow down mr driver
"ikuti kata tukang parkir" "2000?" "mundur alon alon/oph!!!" - "follow what the parking attendant say" "2000? (the joke here is this is how much most people say for parking here)" "back down slowly / stop!!! ('oph' is from 'stop' without the st)" - used in situations to basically say "buddy i think you should stop doing that", mostly in "buddy i dont think they even like you back for even a little bit. back off"
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inosuketingz · 4 years
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the sheets are stained with blood [p.1]
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( gif not mine )
[ PART ONE ] PART TWO PART THREE PART FOUR Victor Zsasz x fem!Reader Warning: Some swearing and mentions of violence. Spoilers for Birds of Prey Word Count: 1482 Summary: Zsasz survives the ending of BoP and somehow snaps even further after finding out what happened to Roman. Desperate to find a new obsession, he latches on to the reader while meeting her on a heist. A/N; Thought about this after watching BoP and decided to write it for my new tumblr acc. Also posted on my Ao3. Its gonna get smutty in future parts of course but this first part is quite mundane lol. Future parts will also feature some Helena x reader bc I’m a whore for Helena Bertinelli. Reader is a witch-y metahuman and is a part of Wonder Woman’s rogue gallery.
The TV plays the latest news report as you stuff a spoon of cereal into your mouth. The reporter stands in front of some nightclub near the city reporting on yet another death by stabbing.
"... she was found in the back alley of the nightclub last night, her body purposefully positioned in a life-like stance. Due to CCTV evidence from the previous stabbing murder, the Gotham police are suspecting ex-businessman Victor Zsasz to be the wicked man behind these crimes..." An image transitions onto the screen, showing a low quality image of a man with almost paper white hair and dark bags under his eyes. The reporter continues to drone on about the twisted results from the autopsy report.
"Yikes," you say to yourself before you grab the remote from the coffee table and switch to another channel playing reruns of Martin
You came to Gotham a few months back since Wonder Woman never let you have any fun in Boston, even though she's currently stationed all the way in London. You assume you’ll be able to keep away from the Bat's radar while he’s busy dealing with psycho clowns and knife-wielding serial killers.
A soft ping rings from your phone and you glance at the screen. Shipment's called off is all the text on your lockscreen reads. It's from an unknown number, but you know that it's another henchmen of the crime boss you’re working with for the time being. Putting down the bowl of cereal, you pick the cell up and tap in three letters before pressing send: Why.
It only takes a moment for you to get a reply. Got reports of the Birds of Prey being in the area. Better safe than sorry.
“Fuck,” you curse and throw your head back in anguish. You were relying on the cash you’d get from the heist for rent.
The phone dinged again. Meeting at the mansion to re-work the plan. In an hour, be there on time bruja, the new message reads.
Great. You thought all you were going to to tonight was show up at the docks, use your powers a bit, and run off with your share of the money. But no. God forbid you get your way for once.
With an annoyed groan, you force yourself off the couch and into your bedroom. You kick off your plaid pajama jogger as you push open the door. Your closet is over piled with clothes and you immediately regret not picking out an outfit earlier. You are a strong believer of wearing revealing outfits for yourself, and the amount of bodycon dresses you want to wear was overwhelming. Then you remember it’s winter and inches of snow are already forming outside.
To be a hoe or to care about your well-being. It is a conflicting life that you live.
~ ~ ~
You decided to go for a pair of black cargo pants and a turtleneck. The weather won this round. The mansion’s already filled as you park your car based on the amount of luxury vehicles filling the house's driveway. You hated working in big groups- it only led to problems. But, you’re down to do anything for the amount of checks you would be cashing with this entire heist.
Two burly men guard the front door of the mansion. One of them smirks as he watches you approach.
“Look, it’s the witch,” he tells the other and you roll your eyes. “Where’s your flying broom?” He teases.
“Shut the fuck up,” you mutter as you pass the two, pushing the heavy doors with a grunt.
The other guard laughs at your reply. “Careful, Hermione. It’s all fun and games until Wonder Woman comes and drags you out of Gotham.”
You don’t bother to look back as you retort “It’s all fun and games ‘til I cast a spell that leaves you two without your dicks tomorrow morning.” The silence as you continue down the dark hallway tells you they stopped smiling.
Are you actually going to bewitch their genitals away? No. But most people knew better than to assume you wouldn’t.
The corridor is dark, tinted red by the only source of light- an open set of doors leading into a grand meeting room. Expensive pottery and paintings lined against the walls of the mansion, all what you’d expect from Hernando del Rey.
Originally, you actually meant it when you decided to lay low in Gotham. You’d find a nice apartment, steal from the rich, and stay off the news until the end of time.
Then, you were contacted by Hernando del Rey, a Venezuelan crime boss straight out of a mob movie. Though you’re not necessarily a bad person- you define yourself as a chaotic neutral- you are dangerous. Del Rey wanted your powers, and you wanted the money- so here you are now.
You shove your hands into your pockets and swagger into the open doors. A group of about 20 people, men, women, and all those in between, sit at a long table. Some of the faces you recognize, either from previous meetings you’ve had with del Rey or from news reports.
One such face belongs to none other than Victor Zsasz. He immediately stands out from the others with his snowy hair and scruffy beard. He also looks like he hadn’t slept in days, so there’s that. Plus, ever since the CCTV recording of him at the last stabbing was leaked, his face is all you saw on the news.
His tired eyes watch you as you enter the room. You can’t tell if he’s giving you bedroom eyes or staring you down like a predator does a prey. Quite frankly, you aren’t in the mood to find out.
“My bruja!” del Rey, who made his seat at the end of the table, cheers when he sees your face. “The most important member of my team!”
You stretch your lips into an awkward smile “Hi.”
“Please take a seat.” Hernando motion towards the table. “Then we’ll begin.” You glance over in the direction of all the seated guests. Powers or not, way too many of them look like they wouldn’t mind killing you.
“I’m fine standing, thanks.”
Hernando shrugs and begins lecturing about the game plan with the new threat of the Birds of Prey. You only pay half of your attention, catching a few words here and there. You never listen carefully at times like this, since your job is usually to just show up, cast some hexes and head out.
“I didn’t know they let witches in on heists.” You look down and see Victor Zsasz in front of you. His head is leaning back, since he sits facing away from you. Now that you are closer to him, you can see his features more clearly. From the silver teen in his mouth, to his token scars that cover his body- the nastiest being one on his neck that you assume wasn’t given to him voluntarily.
You bend down slightly so you can whisper in his ear, “I didn’t know they let mass murderers in on them, either.” He scoffs and straightens his neck and you straighten your back.
“-Y/N and Victor Zsasz will be the ones going to Hyunwoo Kim’s estate tomorrow.”
Yikes.
“I’m sorry, why do I get put with him?” You confront the boss. “I don’t think our attributes really compliment each other, to be honest.”
Hernando del Rey sighs, like an annoyed parent dealing with a bratty child. “Zsasz will be doing all the work, Y/N. You’re only there to make sure he doesn’t act out. If he does, just use your brujeria to kill him.”
The inside of your cheek starts to bleed due to how hard you bite it to refrain from arguing any further. You’ve never seen del Rey angry and you want to make sure to keep it that way.
From the corner of your eye you see Zsasz is back to looking at you. The wicked smile he wears tells you that this wouldn’t be any good.
~ ~ ~
A tired sigh leaves your mouth as you enter your apartment. The lights are off, just like you left it. It’s pitch black, leaving you blind against the darkness.
You begin to take off your pair of pumps when you notice the energy is off in here. The voice in your head yells that you are not alone. Immediately, you begin to mumble a Haitian spell you learned while in Port-au-Prince once summer- one that allows you to find a foe before they find you.
You’re not even halfway through the first line when a strong force pushes against you and your neck is pricked by a sharp object. Using your elbow, you hit the light switch.
The lights flicker on, revealing Victor Zsasz staring at you with the same look from earlier.
“Hello, witch.”
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Jordan: Learning to Love Again
[Missed Part 1 of Jordan’s story? Catch up here.]  
Of course, we each have a past, and often that past — no matter how hard it may have been — makes us the amazing being we are right now. That is what happened to Jordan.
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Jordan is known now for his big happy smile!  
Because even though his life was very hard before he was even a year old, who he has become and the life he has now make all of that a distant memory.
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Jordan loves his life and has moved on from his horrible past. 
Like all animals at Farm Sanctuary, Jordan had the chance to start over and learn to love again. So in this week before Valentine’s Day, we are celebrating love. We can all learn from Jordan and our other animal friends: Even after horrific tragedy, you can learn to love again.
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Jordan has also forgiven, which allows you to heal. People are great!
Jordan has had many loves, and he continues to have more.
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Many goats like Jordan are raised by kids in FFA or 4-H and sold at auction.  
His first love was likely a person — a kid raising him to show at a local fair through a 4-H program. Likely, Jordan had no idea that there was any reason to doubt the trust he placed in his guardian. Through 4-H, Future Farmers of America (FFA), and other programs, children — who naturally love animals — raise them to be shown. Through this process, a young person develops a relationship with a baby animal — one that includes trust. But in most cases, that young person is then obligated to sell at auction the animal he or she has raised.
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To love and trust a human, only to be betrayed, is the norm for these very young beings.  
After being sold, a very young and very confused Jordan was then transported into New York City — a far cry from where he would have been raised. He suddenly found himself being treated in a very different way than he was used to being treated. And then there was the physical abuse he was subjected to — which, thankfully, led him to his next life and his new loves.
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A sad, sick, weak, and in shock Jordan arrives at Farm Sanctuary.
That new life was with Farm Sanctuary and a whole lot of humans who instantly fell in love with this amazing, brave, and very confused boy. From the moment he was picked up at the Animal Care Centers of NYC (ACC), he knew that he was in a safe place — but I am sure it was hard to completely trust that things were going to be okay. 
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From the moment he was picked up, everyone looked worried, but was hopeful that this sweet boy would pull through. It was love at first sight!
You see, Jordan is always smiling now because he found love. After meeting a whole host of human loves, he then met his next love — who arrived in a cute, woolly package and became his very best friend, a relationship that has not wavered, even years later. Mandy sheep, also from a New York City live market and likely another child of 4-H, immediately fell for this weak and sickly boy. With all this love Jordan was experiencing, combined with all the treatments he needed physically, the real character of this wondrous goat came shining through.
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Jill showing the immediate love for her new pal Jordan upon his arrival. 
And after years of a weakened immunity and constant illness, now Jordan is known for his smile — not for any weakness — and for his strength. But most of all, he is known for his love of life and his ability to let everyone around him feel that love. He is pretty incredible. 
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Two babies making their life together. 
From his first love Mandy...
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Two cute babies loving their life together (note their roommates in the background).
...to the love of many of his feathered friends...
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Jordan lived in our onsite hospital when the “Frozen” turkeys (as in, named for characters in the movie) arrived. Here he is being cleaned by Elsa (of Elsa and Anna fame).
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As the baby turkeys grew, they loved nothing more than to take a break on their boy Jordan before going to bed.  
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Monet and Matisse were Jordan’s roommates for a while, when he and Mandy were looking for more permanent housing. 
...to a cat named Felix...
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Hello, Felix — nice to meet you!
...to an elderly sheep, Liam, who attempted to take away his gal pal Mandy...
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“Hey — stop butting my sheep!” Jordan trying to defend his friend Liam (who does not need any backup)!
...to this guy — more than a ton of fun...
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“This is one crazy-looking goat.” Jordan meets the giant steer Twister (and of course, he is not a goat).
...to around 100 sheep and a group of super-friendly goats...
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“Kiss me, Francis — just kiss me.” Scott, Hazelton, and his other sheep friends look on! 
...Jordan has found nothing but an endless stream of beings who adore him for just being Jordan. And that smiling goat is also quite the clown!
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Jordan having a great time rolling in the pasture.
And although everyone he meets seems to be completely enamored of our beautiful boy, he is finally starting to decide whom he loves the most in return.
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Although he loves Coco Van — one of his all-time favorite Canadians — that is not his new, true love. You must be on the edge of your seat waiting to know who it is! 
Of course, he still loves his best friend Mandy.
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Even though these two have grown and are now adults, they remain the best of friends! Jordan and Mandy love each other so very much!
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And he is a huge fan of the human ladies and picks them out of crowds all the time — rubbing his face on their faces and listening to them ooh and aah over his adorableness.
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“Stop the presses! I’m a what????”
But just recently, he seems to have come to the realization that he is not a human, a sheep, or a turkey. Jordan figured out that he is indeed a goat. And though Mandy is still his best best pal, he seems to have fallen quickly in love with a recent addition to the flock: Dana goat.
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Boom — Dana and Hope got a bit too rough, and since their friends are so much smaller then them, they needed to hang with the bigger goats!
Dana had been living with her best pal Hope in New Jersey, but Hope became a bit of a bully to the other goats and sheep living there, so she needed an extended time out. So back to Watkins Glen they came.  
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Hello! Jordan in his new home — the Watkins Glen sheep barn!
And Dana, the more shy of the two, seemed to capture the heart of our sweet boy Jordan — who is quite smitten! Is it that he saw in her a need to be loved for the special girl she is?
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Telling the love secrets.
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Was it love at first sight? I think so! Big kisses for his new gal Dana.
Must be chemistry.  
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Jordan is thriving with his new love Dana, best friend Mandy, and other friends (human and nonhuman) at Farm Sanctuary.
And what is the moral of this amazing story of resilience?  
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All smiles, even in the cold — Jordan loves his life!
That no matter how bad life treats you — there is always the chance to love again if you just let it happen. Take it from smiley Jordan! Happy Valentine’s week!
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