#draining to be more politically-aware but. i don't fare well with ignorance either n life is just so full of contradictions

[noxtivagus]

how fleeting huh

#🌙.rambles #i rlly need to be more consistent in sleeping earlier bcs these thoughts r just #ah no. they're always there. most of the time. i just take my mind off them throughout the day n. #idk i'm not in the mood to expound on that rn but it's just so bittersweet #i'm. the kind of person to keep on looking n moving forward. onwards. ever towards the morrow. #can't be helped after all when. i genuinely am curious n interested in life. i want to reach far n high n yeah #but i'm sentimental too n sensitive n emotional n i want to hold on i want to remember #but even that's just not enough n at times it really gets so hard to live w the burden of it all. it's so heavy isn't it? #i'm passionate with literature n games n music n.. i want to take in as much as i can. learn. but also create. bcs there's a lot in me too. #n it #it's just. yk when it's simultaneously so confusing n comforting. with how life is just so full of possibilities n so full of depth n #meaning n then there's stuff too like not only my personal life n the personal lives too of the ppl i personally love but #the world as a whole w. just. all the pain in general. it weighs me down too which is why when i was younger it'd be rlly #draining to be more politically-aware but. i don't fare well with ignorance either n life is just so full of contradictions #n sometimes i think too much i feel too much #too fast too slow too little too much. #but that thinking is.. i think bcs there's a standard or smth that we have in our minds #if we just. embrace who we are at our core. as humans. n let go of all those extra stuff n all #then i think i'd be more at peace. with more freedom. i feel so restrained in this #uh. it's nearly 2 am n i'm multitasking smth before i sleep so i'm not sure if this is the right word but postmodern society? not sure #but yk this society where.. toxic social media culture n then. the distance between us. the lack of understanding n sincerity #just. hurts me so much. i hate it. it's so lonely. this world is so lonely yk? as a whole #but ahh i'm thinking too much again n that combined w my own personal struggles w pushing myself to do the best i can #& then. fuck social anxiety i just can't help overthinking too often but yeah. Yeah. #i'll go sleep in a bit tho. i think i'll just do more tomorrow.