#dooooom scrooooollll

[broodygaming]

Uh oh. I found out how to search for like, the posts where ppl are trying to low key talk shit and censor words. Like m/rcer for Mercer etc.

This is just so dangerous for me cuz I’m so guilty of going and scrolling through years of posts just to make myself feel upset. Does it matter that it’s only a tiny handful of inconsequential strangers talking shit? No. Does it matter that everyone is entitled to their opinion and i shouldn’t let it bother me? No. It’s a self hatred thing. I scroll and I read and I feel Bad. I feel bad that other ppl can touch something I love so much with their hurtful words and hands. I hate that ppl watch the same pixels I do and take away something so toxic.

UGh it’s like a different kind of doom scrolling and I legit just didn’t know how to search for it until now and now I do I can’t unlearn it. I guess my only solace is I just scrolled back to like 2021 in one sitting so it’s not like there’s much to read. And it’s a good thing in many ways they go out of their way to tag it like that. That is the nice way to … be …. Idk not nice haha. Theyre talkin shit in private at least.

Cr is something I consume in such a private way and it’s such a bastion of safety and comfort and familiarity it’s like if someone walked in my room and started dissing the paint colors and my bed. Like leave me alone haha. But of course millions of ppl are experiencing that same bed and same wall colors and they’re not all going to like it or find comfort the way I do. And of course objectively that’s okay. But also it’s so hard to not be like “ur WRONG”. Hahaha. Leave me and my comfort thing alone!

Also tho thank you for going out of your way to not rub it in ppls faces that’s genuinely kind.

#it’s just like why do I do this to myself #this is like when I found out the cr discourse and disk horse tags existed #dooooom scrooooollll