#don't wanna use the shipname since i only like them platonically

[gracestone]

So far E.J. is the only boy that we know that has been in multiple relationships. He never said this many girlfriends he has had but it has been hinted in 1x02 and 2x03 that he has dated several girls before he dated Nini. Since Ricky doesn’t want to be alone he is probably going to start dating Lily. I can see E.J. telling Ricky it’s okay to be single because sometimes you need to work on yourself first before getting into a relationship which is something E.J. has learned.

I do think EJ can give Ricky some solid advice about his dating life, but I don't think it's for the same reasons you're thinking of. Because I don't think EJ was scared to be alone, necessarily. EJ has never voiced this and we've never seen it, so it's all up for interpretation, but I think he used to date those girls because that fit with the image of himself he was putting out into the world. If I had to guess, I would say he wasn't looking for girls who saw the real him, but rather for girls who validated the charming persona he was putting on and who helped him keep on that mask. So with Nini, for the first time he was more invested, because he was actually longing for something real and something that allowed/inspired him to be real too.

But he put the responsibility of making him a better person on Nini, and that's where he went wrong. Being with someone so real and authentic wouldn't automatically make him better too. That required real work and examining the parts of himself he found scary. It wasn't until after their break up that he really started working on himself. He confronted his own fears about himself and grew as a person. Sure, he made a few mistakes along the way, but eventually he found the right path for himself.

Ricky jumps from relationship to relationship because he's 1) scared to be alone, 2) ties personal happiness to being in a happy relationship, and 3) craves validation of his own talents and skills, because he's scared he's not actually good at anything. So his happiness and confidence often relies on the girl he's dating, and that's a lot of pressure to put on anyone. Ricky came close to learning that he should rely more on his friends and himself instead in 2x10, but then regressed again in 2x11 when Lily presented herself as an easy out. So instead of further examining the person he was and who he wanted to be, he decided to pursue Lily again. I think there's also an element of Ricky not wanting to feel alone in his home issues, so when he can't be with Nini, "the only girl who knows what [he's] about", he tries to move on to girls who can at least somewhat relate to his struggles.

I don't think EJ found it scary to be alone, but I do think he found it scary to really examine the parts of himself he didn't like and confront and change those. And I think that's where he can relate to Ricky. @scorpiospectrum and I have talked a lot about how Ricky and EJ recognise a lot of themselves in each other and often project their own insecurities onto each other (which will someday turn into another post). In season 1, that initially led to a lot of conflict between them, but now that they've come to respect and care for each other, I think it will actually allow them to help each other a lot. Or rather, I think EJ will be able to help Ricky, since he's much further along in his character growth than Ricky is. I think EJ won't necessarily tell Ricky that he needs to be single to grow, but I could see him telling Ricky that he can't put the responsibility of making you a better person/turning you into the person you want to be onto someone else. You have to do the work yourself, even if it's scary. Or similarly, he could tell Ricky that he doesn't need Lily to validate his talent. He has proven that he belongs on stage all by himself. If anyone is good at recognising talent, it's EJ. And he could reassure Ricky that his friends will be there to support and help him on his journey of self discovery, no matter what. I think the choice to be and stay single should really come from Ricky, but EJ could (and hopefully will) play an important role in getting Ricky to that decision.

#hsmtmts #ej caswell #ricky bowen #hsmtmts meta #hsmtmts speculation #ej x ricky #don't wanna use the shipname since i only like them platonically #but can you tell i have a lot of feelings about them? #ask