#do i have ulterior motives ultimately yeah. am i making that obvious or pushing it in any way

[munamania]

literally in tears just bc we’re not having a movie night together girl get a grip. also it’d be nice to just have plans but i wouldn’t even really want to be like Out Partying i just wish i had ppl to like. chill with. whatever. criminal i can’t be hanging out in your living rooms rn everyone

#film girl saga #very convinced we’re going back to the days where we don’t talk outside of class #except now we barely even talk in class and it feels weird. so that’s awesome #and i already brought it up so like. it just kinda feels like over now. i mean ‘what’ feels over my hope??? idk. #just this stupid little bubble of time where we were talking so much and actually hanging out and i was like holy shit #like hi abby from march can u imagine. idk. #so whatever probably just not talking to her anymore and then this semester will end and i won’t even see her once a week #and we’ll just stop talking forever. and she’ll live happily forever after with her gay boyfriend #and i hate that i feel like she’s lying to me i just feel like she’s lying to avoid me. i’m sure she’ll be hanging out with her roommates or #Him or something tn but she won’t extend the invitation back to me. maybe i’m being too judgy and she is just going home to chill #who cares. whatever. #like it doesn’t matter but it hurts and it’s stupid because. like. huh??? #why is it so WEIRD to just ask about hanging out???? whatever!!!! #do i have ulterior motives ultimately yeah. am i making that obvious or pushing it in any way #no i don’t think so. i haven’t been the one saying insane shit generally. #but also what if im just like misreading all that stupid stuff and it never really meant anything #and i just got caught in wishful thinking and vibes and hopes and whatever #and exaggerated everything. idk. #well regardless whatever we gotta pull thru for ourself huh abby. it’ll be ok