#disney is creatively bankrupt. more news at 11 water is wet

[astrologista]

Just saw Wish. I know it's getting hate, but... overall... I thought it was very... meh? Like literally meh.

(whinging)

The protag was likable, though a bit derivative in her motivations. The message was... ok, I suppose. The animation was fairly good in most places.

It does definitely have quite a few big issues, exacerbated by what it's trying so hard to be. All the pieces are there for a great movie, which is what's so frustrating about it.

For me, I felt that the textures and lighting in particular had some kind of issue. They look okay in some places, but the whole thing looked like it was un-rendered on purpose. Like it looked like the behind-the-scenes draft version before they do the final render on it. This was probably to give off a sense of "storybook" quality to the 3d models by rendering them all flat and matte but tbh it looks rather cheap for Disney. All the colors in the movie seem to also be quite muted. The color palette they chose is very cool and understated which made me want to take a nap. And since much of the movie takes place at night, that exacerbates matters a lot. There's also very little variation in setting, colors, or lighting, which makes things boring.

The songs are the biggest problem imo. I can't remember any of the songs at all, they're very forgettable to me. I'm sure there are kids who liked them and I'm not aiming to undercut that, but the fact of the matter is that these songs can't hold a candle to classic Disney songs. Classic Disney songs have a showtune quality. The melodies will stay in your mind for decades after hearing them once. The lyrics are perfectly suited to the characters and story. You want to sing along with them. And... these songs ain't that, sorry. It made sense when I learned that these songs were composed by musicians whose main background was writing Top 40 hits, not Broadway musicals. It sounds like the assignment was to try to be Lin Manuel-Miranda without paying for Lin Manuel-Miranda. They failed spectacularly at that. If there was one movie to get Lin Manuel-Miranda for, it would be this one. Had they done that and had a few absolute banger songs in this, it would have made a HUGE difference in this film's staying power.

As it is, I can't remember much about the music, so it's hard to comment on it. It wasn't offensively bad, just a very generic sound to it that didn't feel Disney-movie-esque (or at least, not major animated feature from Disney-esque. Certainly not 100-year anniversary material). The worst song is This Is The Thanks I Get because it had so much potential and they threw it away. The animation and staging during the song is great, it's actually the highlight of the film for me. They were clearly aiming for this to be the "Let it Go" of the movie, a huge hit that people talk about for a long time. And it's been a very long time since there's been a straight-up unapologetic villain song in a Disney movie, so I was excited for this one. Here's the problem. THE SONG IS NOT IN A MINOR KEY! Why? No, seriously, what were they thinking?? It has all the hallmarks of a big, grandiose megalomaniacal villain song AND IT'S NOT IN A MINOR KEY! The tone of the song is clearly meant to evoke fear as evidenced by the animation and clearly the storyboard artist was aiming for a big, frightening number. The song doesn't match that at all. Instead it's kinda happy? Playful? Like a Top 40 hit that your mom might play in the car? What the fuck? The lost potential is so sad because Maginifico could've been a great and funny villain. He's got the narcissism, comedic qualities, cartoonish mustache twirling and hot DILF-ness to carry the villain role. For some reason though, the big cartoon-y bad guy stuff feels a bit... restrained by the fact that he's trapped in a 3D model. Like the over-the-top maniacal 2D slasher faces that they keep trying so hard to give him just don't translate to 3D very well. He would've looked so much fucking better in 2D, I'm sorry. His voice work is done quite well, though - actually all the voice work in the movie is. (The goat was not that bad honestly)

Apparently one of the concept arts has Magnifico's wife (does she have a name) being evil as well. What the fuck, Disney, where was that?? They could've been an evil power couple, that would've ATE. They also whitewashed her, which... ok, interesting choice. It seems they were also going to have Star take the form of a boy and have a romantic arc with Asha which I'm glad they did NOT do, adding romance to a film like this probably would've served to make it even more generic.

As a movie for little tiny children I think this film is okay. For the Disney fans this was supposed to be a love letter to, let's all go watch Aladdin, Mulan, Lion King (THE ORIGINAL), Beauty and the Beast, and all the other films that weren't created in a boardroom lab. Wish has a generic look, a generic sound, a generic message, and as much as I support those who enjoyed it, I can't help but commiserate with the fans who are disappointed in the less-than-stellar Disney flicks of the past few years. It's like they are allergic to taking risks, hiring creatives and letting them work, or keeping greedy corporate hands out of their projects. Hopefully their revenues keep tanking until they get the message but it looks like Iger is still drinking pure copium based on his recent comments that "audiences don't want films with a message anymore". OK. Yeah, that's what you should take from this, Iger. Have fun continuing to censor your films, gotta get those bucks from the Russian and Chinese markets, pal.

#disney is creatively bankrupt. more news at 11 water is wet