#dickin' around with dieter

[morallyinept]

I've got Dieter brain today... 🥴 I blame @chronically-ghosted and @seratuyo for starting me off earlier... but how I have never seen these pics before??

Like, I'm sorry... what?!

The Dieter sass. Even out of character.

The earring. The hair.

JFC... 🫠

I think I've just had a midlife crisis... 🫠

#dickin' around with dieter #dieter bravo #i am not okay #call somebody #call the doctor #call the midwife #I'm not pregnant but call the midwife anyway #the earring #don't mind me just losing my mind at 2am

[morallyinept]

Jett, I have a question for you and I know you might enjoy this. Maybe you won’t.

You are stuck in an elevator with Dieter, just you and him for eight hours and I want to know what you think would happen. What would that trash panda of a person do if stuck in an elevator and how would you handle it? What would it progress like?

Love, me.

Hey Lovely! 🖤

So like, I have a genuine fear of being trapped in enclosed spaces (blame it on being actually trapped in an elevator in my youth 😬). So it's safe to say that I'd already be panicking. Big time! Couple that with being stuck in an elevator with none other than Dieter Fucking Bravo, and there's a good chance I'd have already passed on to the afterlife... 💀

However, this is fictional delulu land where anything goes, tra la la, so in this scenario, Dieter and I alone in a lift together would probably go something like this...

First of all, I'm of the firm belief that Dieter is an epic sweetheart. He gets lumbered with this trashy kind of persona (which if you watch The Bubble, he's actually far from it; he's this artistic, yearning for affection type soul, who can't really cope with being on his own and without human interaction/touch, which only makes him lean further into his neuroses, but I digress 🤓) and that's cool if it's everyone's head canon - it's fun! But in mine, he's much more soft and attentive, because D himself wants soft and attentive.

So I envision him calming me down, by offering me a myriad of pills he fishes out from his coat pocket, unsure of what of they are actually - there's probably a Xanax in there somewhere - but it's the thought that counts, right?

Plus, he's wearing that fuzzy teddy coat of his and elevators aren't the warmest places with all that metal - you're stuck hanging in a shaft dangling precariously on bootlace thin cables, so it's bound to get a bit chilly, and I'd be shivering a bit also with the fear. So Dieter being the big softie he is, would take his coat off and let me wear it to stay warm. But then, he'd get cold too eventually (you see where this is going, right?) so we'd have no choice to share, so I'd be all snuggled up against his soft belly listening to him tell me about all his bawdy shenanigans in the biz. He'd have a melted KitKat in his pocket too and would share it with me. Aaw. 🥹

We'd play stupid games to pass the time, like I Spy. But when stuck in an elevator, it won't take us long to work our way through guessing that we're every numbered button on the panel. So we'll play Truth Or Dare instead, and Dieter would ask me a truth question about whether I find him attractive or not. (Hint: I do!) And then I'd dare him to kiss me. (Hint: He does!) And then he'd ask if I want to have sex with him, because d'uh.

And well, let's just say I soon forget that I'm trapped at all, as Dieter finds plenty of ways to distract me... I mean, you said we have eight hours, right?

In the words of Dieter himself: "That's a lot of sex." 😏

This was such a fun Ask, thank you.

Love you! 🖤

#pedro pascal #dieter bravo #jett's asks #dickin' around with Dieter