#despair about the future plus beating myself up over thought spirals plus really horrible intrusive thoughts again

[astriiformes]

I have been so incredibly miserable today and yesterday and I'm suspicious tomorrow isn't going to be any better (it may, in fact, be even worse) and I just want this to stop

#despair about the future plus beating myself up over thought spirals plus really horrible intrusive thoughts again #except this time i don't even have a good explanation as to why #and tomorrow i have to talk to my ochem professor about that test because i am now failing his class #and i have an orchestra concert which would be fun except scribe's too sick to come see me so instead i'm just sad about it #and i just... really don't know how i am supposed to keep going #like i have genuinely forgotten how to feel happy