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duhragonball · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z Movie 13: Wrath of the Dragon

Kind of wild that I made it to Movie 13. I want to call it the last movie, but it’s not. “Path to Power” was released several months later, and while Movie 13 used to be the final film under the Dragon Ball Z branding, it was eventually followed by “Battle of Gods” and “Resurrection F” in the 2010′s. Kind of wild how the 2010′s are nearly over. I was just getting used to it being the 2010′s.

I’m tempted to think of this movie as a finale in some sense, because it’s set after the Kid Buu fight, but DBZ doesn’t end there. There’s a three-episode epilogue set ten years after Kid Buu. Really, this movie is just the first in what became a long list of Dragon Ball projects set during that ten-year period.

This was, I think, the last DBZ material released by Funimation before they started re-dubbing things for the Orange Brick Sets and Dragon Ball Kai. I remember attending a Funimation panel at a 2006 comic convention where they talked about this movie, and some of the voice actors were kind of sad that this would be the last time they would portray these characters. At the time, it certainly seemed that way.

So this movie premiered in Japanese theaters on July 15, 1995, after Episode 270 of the anime, and before 271. So if you were a fan in Japan, you could watch Vegito and Super Buu in hot vore action, then go see this movie a few days later, and then watch Super Buu turn Vegito into candy, which strangely isn’t hot vore action.

The release chronology kind of surprises me, because I just got so used to thinking of this movie as an epilogue to Dragon Ball Z. It kind of is, in a way, because the Dragon Ball manga had already finished up in May 1995, which is probably why this movie lines up so well with post-Buu continuity. Everyone who’s supposed to be dead is dead, and everyone who’s supposed to be alive is alive.

This one is my second favorite movie after Fusion Reborn, so I kind of wanted to consider what makes it the second best. I mean, it’s a matter of taste, really, but I think it’s a question worth asking.

So let’s get down to business. This one opens with a kid holding a sword. He had an ocarina, but he dropped it, and he looks like he’s in some trouble.

Then a giant monster steps on him, and he’s dead. A mysterious voice declares that Earth is next. Ominous!

Unlike every other DBZ movie, this one doesn’t feature the opening theme music, just a title card, which looks bad-ass by the way.

And here’s the title of the movie, which in Japanese was “Dragon Fist Explosion!! If Goku Can't Do It, Who Will?”

In lieu of a theme song, the credits roll over the next couple minutes of the movie, which I’ve always found to be a really nice touch. All along, I’ve been admiring the looming sense of finality in DBZ, and this is a good example of what I’m talking about. It’s July 1995. The manga is over, which means the anime will be over soon, and as far as anyone knew, this would be the last movie, and it just sort of quietly proceeds with its business. Z stands for the end.

This scene is mostly just to establish the Gohan and Videl are fighting crime as a team now, with Gohan as Great Saiyaman and Videl as Great Saiyaman Mark 2. Not sure why Gohan stopped wearing a cape, or why he still has that bandana and sunglasses. He only switched to that because his Saiyaman helmet was illegal in the Tenkaichi Budokai, but that’s long over. Videl got a helmet, so why can’t he wear one to match?

The weird thing is that Videl’s costumed identity is public knowledge, but Gohan’s isn’t? They go back to class, and everyone just seems to know that Videl is still fighting crime like always, but as Great Saiyaman 2, or Great Saiyawoman, or whatever. But Gohan pretends he just went to the restroom, like he used to do in the Great Saiyaman Saga.

Weirder still, everyone knows Gohan is the Great Saiyaman. He unmasked at the tournament, after all. I thought this movie might have forgotten about that, except Sharpner even points it out when Gohan returns to class.

Incidentally, I’m not sure it makes sense for Gohan and Videl to still be in high school in this movie. It’s set after the Kid Buu fight, but they use the Dragon Balls in this movie, which means it must take place one year after they wish for Shenron to erase everyone’s knowledge of Majin Buu. So wouldn’t Gohan and Videl have graduated by this point? They’d both be about 18, wouldn’t they?

Then Videl gets another call on her radio watch, and the cops want the Saiyaman duo to deal with a strange old man who climbed Raenzel Tower. Videl seems to think that sort of job is beneath the Saiyamen, but they hang up on her, so she’s stuck.

So Gohan has to ask to use the restroom again, after he just got back. He says he ate bad frog meat, like that does anything but raise further questions. Erasa seems really confused, like she doesn’t know what’s going on. Also, it kind of looks like Sharpner, Erasa, Gohan, and Videl are all sitting apart from each other in this movie. Maybe there was some falling out?

So here’s Raenzel Tower. I don’t know that the scenery in this movie necessarily resembles any particular real world city, but this all feels a lot more like Japan than the world of DBZ. That’s been kind of a gradual trend since DBZ began. You’d see fewer and fewer animal-people in crowd shots, and by the Majin Buu arc you almost see none at all. Now that I think of it, Satan City looks and feels a lot more like a “real” city than West City ever used to. That car at the start of the movie had wheels, for example.

Anyway, this red dude has climbed up the tower and he’s threatening to jump, because he’s so despondent. Gohan tries to talk him down, but he won’t cooperate, and Videl gets fed up and dares him to jump.

So he does, much to Videl’s surprise, and then the guy complains that they almost didn’t save him in time.

For some reason, Videl is just irritated with this whole segment of the movie. I guess she really didn’t like getting called out for this mission, and she probably doesn’t appreciate this guy pretending to be a suicide jumper just to get their attention. Also, she really wants to get back to school for some reason. Maybe she just really digs whatever book they’re reading in English Lit.

Aw, look at that dog!

So this red dude is named Hoi, or Hoy, I forget which spelling Funimation went with, but the subs call him Hoi. Climbing the tower was just a ruse to get Gohan’s attention so that he could enlist his aid in freeing Tapion, the great hero who saved Planet Conuts in the South Galaxy 1000 years ago.

Gohan wants to meet the guy, but he’s stuck inside a music box and can’t get out. Hoi wants to release Tapion, because he claims that there’s going to be a terrible crisis on Earth. That’s why he’s spent the past thirty years searching for this music box, because he thinks it’s the only way to save the Earth.

To open the box, you just have to turn the handle to play its song, but the handle won’t turn, no matter how hard Gohan tries to force it. Tapion then explains that he wants to make a wish to Shenron to open the music box, and that’s why he came to Gohan, because he found out that Gohan’s circle has had dealings with the Dragon.

So Gohan takes the box to Bulma’s house, where she scans it with her... whatever all this stuff is. This kind of looks like the bridge of the Enterprise, now that I think about it. Anyway, she can’t make heads or tails of it, and Goku can’t force the handle either, so they decide to gather the Dragon Balls.

As they head out to search for the Balls, Hoi expresses gratitude for finding this kind of help on Earth, which prompts Goku to ask him if he’s not from this planet, and he kind of backpedals and acts like he lived here his whole life. Seems to me that if he already knows about the Planet Counuts in the South Galaxy, then he must not be from Earth at all. And even if he is an alien, why would he feel the need to hide that from Goku? He’s an alien too, after all, so I don’t think that would make him suspicious.

For some reason, Videl is now really excited to see Tapion now, becase she’s “so interested in heroes.” Did she decide Hoi’s story is on the level, or is she just warming up to the idea?

Krillin searches for a Dragon Ball in a carnival haunted house. This is his only real contribution to the film.

So in no, time, the gang finds a bunch of Dragon Balls. I’m not sure how they could split up like this, though, unless Bulma made multiple Dragon Radars.

The seventh ball is in a lion cage at the zoo, so Goku just jumps in and takes it, because Goku does whatever he wants. That lion’s lucky Bulma promised him shish kebabs later, or otherwise Goku would have just eaten this guy raw right in front of everyone.

I can’t figure out Videl’s outfit in this movie. From the back, it looks like shorts, but from the front it looks like a skirt.

Anyway, Shenron grants the wish and zaps the music box so hard that it shocks Hoi.

At first, it doesn’t seem to have had any effect, but then the handle starts to turn and it plays its song.

Okay, so this is a weird place to bring up continuity, but isn’t it odd how Shenron only granted the one wish? Dende upgraded him to grant two or three, depending on the wishes, so he should have at least asked if the gang wanted something else before he split.

Anyway, there’s a big light and sound spectacular while the box opens, but Hoi’s eyes glow red and he has this extra-sinister look on his face. Hmmmm...

Then Tapion comes out, and he’s kind of pissed that they released him. He draws his sword and demands to be put back in the box, but the box fell apart when it opened, so it’s impossible.

What I don’t understand is that, later in the movie, Tapion acts like he knows Hoi, which implies that he recognizes him on sight. If so, why doesn’t he just kill him here, while he has the chance? Or would killing him not accomplish anything?

Then he leaves in a huff. Trunks thinks Tapion is awesome, but everyone else is kind of puzzled, because he didn’t even thank them for getting him out of the box.

Later, Trunks and Goten track Tapion down to... a junkyard I guess? Goten isn’t sure this is a great idea, but Trunks wants to meet this guy and hear all his hero stories.

You know, this is really a beautiful shot. Watching this again, I guess the main difference between this and Fusion Reborn is that this movie is much more grounded. There were colorful shots like this in Movie 12, but they were mostly fantasy scenes of heaven or hell, or those extra-cartoony shots of the city. Movie 13 achieves similar beauty in the mundane. Instead of a mountain of needles surrounded by crystal jellybeans, we have a crane looming over a rusty storage tank.

Inside, Tapion’s just sort of brooding and freaking out. When Trunks peeks in on him, he’s kind of taken aback by what he sees. Maybe this isn’t a tank. I’m not sure what this place is. Maybe a derelict factory?

Hey, it’s a barbecue! Goku was a good boy for not eating those lions, so he gets shish kebab. Or whatever this is called. There’s like a cocktail weenie and a shrimp and a pickle on the thing.

Everyone wonders where Hoi went off to, and Master Roshi starts drunkenly blathering about how he’s harassing women, just like he’s about to start doing. Why are Roshi and Oolong even in this scene?

Gohan knows which way the wind is blowing, so he heroically puts himself in front of Videl so Roshi has to go through him to molest her. It looks like Roshi’s poking Gohan in the dick, though. Master Roshi belongs in jail.

He gets fresh with Bulma, so she smacks the shit out of him. Why does she keep inviting him to these things?

There’s a cute moment here where Goku notices the boys trying to swipe food off the grill, so he scoots some closer so they can reach it. Again, this is down-to-earth stuff you can’t get in Movie 12.

Okay, maybe this is a junkyard, what with all the wrecked cars here. In any case, Goten and Trunks are taking food to Tapion’s lair.

Tapion keeps telling everyone to get away from him, so Trunks leaves the food behind and promises to come back tomorrow with more.

So then there’s a monster attack, and wow, these are some great scenes. Again, very real-life-y, compared to early Dragon Ball material. The only distinct Dragon Ball imagery here are the Royal Military uniforms on the soliders. Otherwise, it would be very easy to mistake these for some other anime.

That’s not a bad thing, by any means, because I’d say all these realistic city scenes help make the characters stand out more.

So it’s not actually a monster, but half of a monster. The lower half, to be specific. Gohan wonders if this was the terrible crisis Hoi warned about earlier in the movie. I guess when you’ve lived Gohan’s life, you really can’t be sure if a creature like this is related to Hoi’s warning or not. It could be some completely different crisis starting up.

Videl wants to do their usual routine on the creature, but it attacks them during their pose. For some reason, Videl is super into the poses in this movie. Other than one episode of the TV series, this is the only time we see Great Saiyaman 2 in action, but I guess it makes sense she’d dive into the role. If she was eager to wear the costume, she must be up for the whole nine yards.

So Gohan fights this thing for a bit, and he discovers that it’s intangible most of the time, and it’s only solid during the moment when it’s attacking something else. I don’t think I ever noticed before that Gohan figures this out so early in the film.

So Gohan seems to do pretty well against the creature...

And Videl thinks he’s won, but Gohan’s not convinced.

The monster has a knack for vanishing and reappearing, kind of like Janemba, but without the pixelation effect. It’s more of a fog kind of thing. But then it seems to disappear for good, and when Gohan and Videl search for it, they find Tapion playing his ocarina.

They also spot Hoi lurking nearby, but I doubt they’d recognize him in his ninja getup.

Later, Trunks brings more food to Tapion’s hideout, but he hasn’t eaten the last meal he left, and Tapion still won’t talk to him. Later that night, Tapion falls asleep and drops his ocarina, and then he’s attacked by the top half of a monster...

It nearly kills him, but he manages to pick up his ocarina and play it, and this makes the monster fade away.

The next morning, Trunks finds the place shredded from the monster attack, but he’s relieved to see Tapion is still okay, so he leaves breakfast for him.

Then we get this scene where Videl and Bulma are washing dishes together, and she tells Videl how Trunks is sneaking food to Tapion, because he looks up to the guy like a big brother figure. Trunks is an only child, you see, and he envies Goten’s relationship with Gohan. Videl’s an only child herself, so she can relate.

What I don’t get here is when Bulma replies “But you’ve been so keyed up lately”, and Videl seems unnerved by this and says “It’s Trunks’ power that is keyed up!” I have no idea what this is supposed to mean. Videl’s reaction almost resembles how she acted when Chi-Chi asked her if she had thought about marriage in Movie 12. Was Bulma trying to imply that Videl has a thing for Tapion, and it got mistranslated? I dunno.

On Trunks’ next visit to Tapion’s place, Hoi intrudes and tries to steal Tapion’s ocarina, but Trunks manages to get it instead. Hoi unmasks and asks Trunks to give him the flute, because Tapion is the danger he had been warning about earlier on. He claims that Tapion is connected to the monster that Gohan fought the other night.

You know, one thing that never really gets clarified in this movie is where all of this is happening. I would assume Tapion’s lair is in West City, since that’s where he escaped the music box, and why would he go to another town to find a junkyard? But Gohan and Videl always did their superhero stuff in Satan City, so I assume that’s where they fought the monster.

Anyway, I never understood why Hoi expected Trunks to trust him in this scene. Initially he told them all that Tapion was supposed to save them from a crisis, and now he’s accusing Tapion of being part of the problem.

Then again, I guess Trunks might be somewhat conflicted, since Tapion’s been acting very mysterious and moody this whole time. But Tapion asks Trunks to trust him, and after a tense moment, Trunks does. He gives Tapion the flute and Hoi leaves empty-handed. I guess you could say that Trunks went with his gut. From the beginning, Trunks saw something he liked about Tapion, and he decided to trust that first impression over Hoi’s exaggerated warnings.

Trunks prepares to leave before Tapion chews him out again, but instead Tapion invites him to stick around and join him for dinner. Awwww.

Later, Bulma informs Videl that Trunks has invited Tapion to spend the night at their home. Speaking of which, doesn’t Videl have her own home? Why is she spending all her time at Capsule Corp. these days?

So Trunks shows Tapion all of his toys, but a toy robot catches Tapion’s attention. It separates into two halves, sort of like that monster. Hmmmm...

Later, Tapion tells Trunks about his little brother, Minotia, but Trunks falls asleep during his story.

As he watches Trunks sleep, he can’t help but be reminded of Minotia, and just so there’s no misunderstanding, that was the kid we saw die in the opening scene of the movie.

So Tapion leaves Trunks to sleep, only to run into Bulma in the hallway. She’s wearing this shawl, or maybe it’s a blanket or something. It looks cute, is my point. It also looks very different from what we usually see Bulma wear.

She just looks a lot more like a regular person instead of some genius billionaire inventor. She kind of reminds me of the older Chi-Chi from the History of Trunks special. Anyway, she invites Tapion to stay at Capsule Corp. all the time, but he’s afraid of what might happen if he does.

She wants to know what he’s talking about, but it’s a long story, so she puts on a pot of coffee. I always thought it was tea, but that looks like a coffee pot to me. Also, there’s an entire fruit basket just in case anyone gets hungry in the middle of the night. Speaking of Vegeta, imagine if he’s in this room, just out of the frame, sullenly chewing on an orange while Tapion tells his gloomy origin story. Vegeta eats oranges with the peel because no one ever told him not to. Bulma can’t tell him now because it would be awkward after all this time.

All right, so here’s the deal. One thousand years ago, on the planet Conuts, they had this totem that absorbed all the evil will on the planet. I don’t know if that’s legit, or some kind of superstition, but the totem was this big stone sculpture. One day, this “sect of warlocks” from some other place showed up and turned the totem into “phantasm” named Hildegarn, or Hirudegarn. Then they turned it loose on Conuts’ population. Hoi was one of the warlocks.

Man, I love this shot of Bulma. This is really the difference between Movies 12 and 13. 13 has it’s share of fantasy stuff going on, but there’s a certain distance to it. In Movie 12, the characters are right in the thick of it all, but here, it’s an ancient tale being told to a regular lady over coffee. There’s a certain weight to all of this that none of the other movies really achieve. For one thing, Bulma now realizes that she was deceived by Hoi, and their fun afternoon of summoning Shenron to meet a hero was actually part of Hoi’s plot to destroy their world. So if things go badly from here, she’s at least partly responsible for whatever happens next. You don’t get that complexity in the earlier movies.

Conuts was able to defeat Hirudegarn eventually, thanks to a pair of swords and flutes that were empowered by “God” to control the totem. I think the idea is that the Kami of Planet Conuts was in charge of this, sort of like how Dende, the Kami of Earth, oversees the Dragon Balls. But they might actually mean a higher power besides a DBZ-style Kami.

Anyway, Tapion and Miotia played the ocarinas, which had the ability to immboilize Hirudegarn, and while they did that, a priest cut the monster in half with one of the swords. The subs suggest that there’s only one special sword involved here, but Tapion and Minotia are both equipped with them, so I think that means there are two. Maybe Minotia’s is just a regular sword.

Here’s the priest, by the way. I kind of like his design better than Tapions? Anyway.

So that put an end to Hirudegarn, right? Well, not quite. I guess they couldn’t just kill the thing, so they did the next best thing and sealed each half of the phantasm in Tapion and Minotia. Tapion got the top half, and Minotia got the legs. But even that wasn’t good enough, because the warlocks kept trying to attack the brothers to take back Hirudegarn.

So they ended up getting sealed inside music boxes. I think that may be the Kami of Conuts there in the background. The one with the multicolored halo. As we’ve seen, these must be special music boxes, since Goku couldn’t even turn the handle on one.

Then they shot the music boxes into space, just to make sure they would be as far apart from one another as possible. And that’s how Tapion ended up on Earth, and why Hoi came to Earth. He told Dragon Team that he wanted to free Tapion to save the universe, but he actually wanted to get Tapion out of the box so that he could get the top half of Hirudegarn out of Tapion.

Aw, man this shot from the aquarium is awesome. This really is a great movie. I think it’s a matter of taste. Critics would probably complain that the battle at the end is kind of short and disconnected from the rest of the story, but this movie is telling a quieter, more emotional story. I think Movie 12 is better, because I prefer the louder, goofier tone it has, but it really is a matter of personal taste.

Anyway, it’s a safe bet what happened to Minotia. At some point, Hoi tracked him down, managed to release the lower half of Hirudegarn, and used that to kill Minotia, as we saw in the beginning.

So it’s up to Tapion now to make certain Hoi can’t gain control of both halves, or else Hirudegarn will destroy everything. And as we’ve seen, he can’t go to sleep, or the monster will emerge from his body. That worries Bulma a great deal, so she offers to build him a chamber to serve as a replacement for the music box. At least, she thinks she can do it, since she still has the pieces from before, and she believes if she analyzes them that she can whip up a substitute.

I like that about this movie. Bulma hears out this poor kid’s story, and she’s like “Well, I’ll build you a box that’ll let you sleep!” and it won’t even take her very long. Tapion’s supposed to be this magical hero, but Bulma has a bit of that same aura herself.

All she asks in return is that he spend some quality time with her son, and he’s happy to do that. Also, Majin Buu’s dog is here for some reason. At least, I think that’s Bee.

Then she steps outside to tell them it’s ready, and she’s still in her pajamas, so I think this means she was up all night working on this thing. Bulma’s awesome.

So this thing looks ridiculous, and I have no idea how it’s supposed to work, but I guess the idea is that she reverse engineered whatever mojo the original music box had, minus the part where a grown man could fit inside it. Why did she bother adding the gold trim to the sides? Because Bulma, that’s why.

Meanwhile, the lower half of Hirudegarn is attacking somewhere else, and I guess his tail can open up to reveal dozens of tentacles.

I guess this is how Hirudegarn feeds? It’s pretty gross. It suddenly occurred to me to search for Hirudegarn fics on AO3, but I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna know.

Then Tapion gets some sort of psychic feedback, maybe? I’m not clear on what’s going on, exactly, but it blows up the bedroom Bulma built for him. So did it just never work to begin with, or is Hirudegarn becoming powerful enough to overload it somehow?

So Bulma calls in Goku, Gohan, and Goten. Goku acts like he’s searching for clues, but let’s be real here, he doesn’t know what he’s doing. He only picked up that gear because he thought it was made of chocolate.

Then Tapion stumbles back into the house, and he explains that the upper half got loose again, and he’s having more trouble controlling it. He somehow got it back inside his body, but he asks the others to kill him before it gets out again. Bulma offers to build a sturdier room for him, but he seems to think we’re past that.

Then Hoi shows up with the lower half of Hirudegarn, and they attack. Trunks gives Tapion the ocarina, but it doesn’t work this time.

I don’t think this ever really gets explained properly. Is Hirudgarn getting too strong to contain, or is Tapion’s power over him weakening? Or is this because Hoi is doing something to help get Hirudegarn loose? Or is it because Minotia is dead?

Anyway, now Hirudegarn is finally reunited, and Hoi is convinced that he’s now become invincible. In the dub, Hoi explains that he’s the sole survivor of a species called the Kashvar, who believe themselves superior to all other forms of life. The subs never get into this, but it’s a bit of lore that I enjoy.

Hoi’s a pretty cool bad guy. I like how he suckered all the good guys. I like how he resembles Babidi but not too closely. And I like his naughty red color.

So there’s not much Tapion can do from here, so Trunks moves him to a safe distance an tells him to let them handle things from here. Magic ocarinas and music boxes worked pretty well for a while, but now it’s time to do this the DBZ way, which means throwing down, mang.

There’s a trailer for Movie 13 that was included in the video file I downloaded when I first watched the fansub of this movie. In it, Masako Nozawa as Goku explains the premise of the movie, and how there’s this monster who’s going to wreck the world, and then she screams “I WON’T LET ANYONE DESTROY THE EARTH!” It’s awesome.

So there’s a couple of issues with this fight. First, the elephant in the room is that Gohan’s the strongest guy in the movie, but Goku’s the one who makes the big save at the end. The movie does a decent job working around this, but that leads into the second problem....

Which is that nobody can actually touch Hirudegarn now that he’s reunited. I guess he’s stronger and faster than he was when Gohan fought the legs, so even though Gohan knows he can only hit him while Hirudegarn is attacking, it’s a lot harder to pull that off this time. But what you end up with is a lot of footage of the Saiyans punching trails of mist, then getting clobbered. It’s good for building suspense, but it’s not very inspired compared to some other movie fights. Movie 8 was pretty one-sided, but at least the gang could hit Broly. It just never hurt him, which indicated how tough he is.

At one point, Hirudegarn turns solid so he can grab Gohan, but this sets him up for an attack by Vegeta, who finally shows up in this scene to bawl out Hirudegarn for attacking his house.

But he gets the same treatment as everyone else. Hirudegarn flings him into a nearby office building, and Vegeta expends the rest of his power just shielding himself and the bystanders from Hirudegarn’s fiery breath.

Goku tries to help him, and he just gets clobbered for his trouble.

So Goten and Trunks try to turn the tide with fusion, and for a hot minute, Super Saiyan 3 Gotenks seems to have an edge.

After a volley of ki blasts, it looks like Hirudegarn just keels over and dies. Oh, hey, that’s the same tower Hoi was climbing on when he first showed up. So I guess this whole movie takes place in West City? Only we saw Gohan and Videl in Orange Star High. Ah well.

So it looks like Hirudegarn is dead or dying, but...

It turns out he was just molting. Did Tapion have any idea that he could do this? I wonder.

So Gotenks is the first to fall. One swat from Big H knocks him down to the ground so hard that he de-fuses on the first bounce.

Gohan and Videl are next. I’m not sure why this thing keeps trying to crush Gohan, unless it’s because he’s the strongest one in the group. Maybe that was their way of acknowledging this.

So that leaves Goku to hold the line on his own, but he doesn’t last much longer. Just when it looks like there’s no one to defend West City...

Tapion returns with his ocarina. He hasn’t exactly had a winning track record with this lately, but it’s the only card he has to play, so he’s giving it all he’s got.

With a herculean effort, Tapion manages to seal all of Hirudegarn into his own body. Trunks runs over to congratulate him...

... but this was only a temporary measure. Tapion hasn’t beaten Hirudegarn. He’s just holding him for a moment, long enough for someone to kill him before Hirudegarn can escape again. And since Trunks is the only one on his feet, its up to him.

It’s an impossible choice. Trunks is just a boy. This is too much for a kid like him, but there’s no other way. If he doesn’t act now, Hirudegarn will escape, and there’ll be no way to stop him. That’d be hard enough, but he loves Tapion like the older brother he never had. It’s too cruel that he should have to do this. And yet, what else can he do?

But before Trunks can decide, Hirudegarn busts loose, and the ocarina breaks. So Tapion won’t be able to try that stunt again. I’m not sure he’d be able to stand the strain even if he could try again. Hirudegarn is just too powerful like this.

So yeah, it looks like a total shut-out for Hoi. Yessir, looking pretty rosy for the last Kashvar...

OH SHI--

HAHAHAHAHA HOI’S DEAD! I love this part! Did Hoi ever really have any control over Hirudegarn? I mean, he wasn’t exactly telling him to do anything he wouldn’t have been doing anyway. Nice knowin’ ya, you sorry bastard.

But everyone else is still screed. Hoi couldn’t conrol Hirudegarn and Tapion can’t contain him and the Z-Fighters can’t beat him, so what does that leave. Yeah, Trunks didn’t have to kill Tapion, but it looks like he’s going to die here no matter what. Z stands for the end.

But not yet.

Yeah, now I see why I had so much trouble telling what city this was. It’s not West City or Satan City. Hirudegarn needs to update his GPS, because he somehow ended up taking I-65 straight into Goku Town, population: get wrecked, son.

Hirudegarn goes to attack Goku, but before he can do that, Trunks jumps in and chops off his tail with Tapion’s sword. Yeah!

That got him good, but Goku wants Trunks to stay out of this one. Gohan tries to tell Goku that Hirudegarn has a weakness, but Goku’s already figured it out. He needs to goad Hirudegarn into attacking, and then use that moment to hit him with everything he’s got.

Fortunately, Hirudegarn is happy to oblige, and he starts punching Goku, while Goku doesn’t do much about it. He just no-sells each blow, taunting Hirudegarn to try again.

Maybe this fight’s better than I gave it credit for. The mistake the Z-Fighters made earlier was that they kept trying to strike Hirudegarn, which only left them wide open to his counterattacks. The key here is to stay on the defensive, and lull Hirudegarn into remaining solid.

Of course, you’ve still got to be sturdy enough to weather this kind of storm, but that’s why Goku’s using Super Saiyan 3. Gohan could have done this himself, but he got beaten up before he could come up with this strategy. Goku can make it work, but he can’t stay in this form for very long, so he probably only has one shot at this.

But if he doesn’t do it, who will?!

Hirudegarn goes for one more punch...

But this time Goku jumps over his fist and...

DRAGON FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!

AAAAAAAGH! His punch exploded!

And it turned into Shenron this is nuts!

Hirudegarn knows he’s done fucked up now!

Yeah, say goodbye to your kidneys, asshole! You thought you could just step on Capsule Corp.! That’s where Goku gets his shish kebab, idiot! There’s gonna be hell to pay now.

OH YOU THOUGHT WE WERE DONE? Guess what, now the ki dragon that shot through you is gonna wrap around you and strangle you to death!

Also, it explodes again, so yeah, that’s the end of Hirudegarn.

Victory for Goku! And the moral of the story is, don’t send a flute to do an exploding punch dragon fist’s job.

Later, the good guys reassure Tapion that they’ll wish all of Hirudegarn’s victims back with the Dragon Balls. Well yeah, but it’ll be months before they can make another wish, so that’s kind of awkward.

As for Tapion, Bulma has apparently built her own version of the time machine used by Future Trunks in the Androids Saga. Either that, or she refurbished the duplicate time machine Cell used to arrive in this timeline. This movie doesn’t play too well with Dragon Ball Super continuity, but fuck the Zamasu arc, it was stupid and this movie rules.

So I guess Tapion’s going to go back in time to when everyone he knew and loved was still alive on Conuts. I think the dub indicated that he was going to prevent Minotia’s death somehow, but I’m not sure how that would work. Anyway, Trunks is sorry to see him go, but Bulma says they can just use the time machine to visit him. Wait, so does she mean she has a second time machine? Becase I don’t think they’re getting this one back.

Before he departs, Tapion gives Trunks his sword, saying he won’t be needing it anymore. So that’s pretty cool.

And as the time machine fades away, Trunks watches it go with his new sword on his back, and the credits roll...

... with scenes of Future Trunks in action. Clearly, Toei wanted to connect these two versions of Trunks. I think a lot of fans have mistakenly assumed that this movie is trying to suggest that this is the origin story for Future Trunks’ sword. Maybe Future Trunks met some alternate version of Tapion, but I think this story was just making the point that Kid Trunks would admire a hero who resembled Future Trunks in a lot of ways, including the sword and the stoic, selfless personality.

But yeah, that’s Movie 13. It’s not as flashy as Movie 12, but it never comes close to being dull, and the Super Dragon Fist at the end is the cherry on top.

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Plus, you’ve got the excellent ending theme, “Ore Ga Yaranakya Dare Ga Yaru” by Hironobu Kageyama.

#dragon ball #2019dbliveblog #dbmovieliveblog #wrath of the dragon #movie 13 #goku #gohan #trunks #goten #vegeta #bulma #tapion #hoi #hirudegarn #videl #master roshi #oolong #krillin

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duhragonball · 5 years

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Dragon Ball Z Movie 14: Battle of Gods

“Battle of Gods” premiered on March 30, 2013, seventeen years after “The Path to Power.” Apparently Toei changed up their logo a bit during that time.

Anyway, this movie, wait, what? Are we watching Star Wars now?

Yes, we know Toei made this, why are they credited again?

And what’s this thing for? I mean, they could have put this at the start of any of these movies, but why do it now?

The way I heard it, this movie got made because 20th Century Fox had the rights to make a Dragon Ball movie in the U.S., and then they made Dragon Ball Evolution in 2009, and it... did not impress anyone. At all. I remember thinking it was okay, but that’s about as much enthusiasm as I could muster for it. Anyway, the story goes that Toriyama decided that he didn’t care much for DBE, and decided to come out of retirement to make his own Dragon Ball movie and show all the big shots at Fox how it’s done. Well, maybe I just assumed this. It makes a good story, doesn’t it?

The theatrical release was 85 minutes long, but the home video version got an extra twenty-minutes of footage, which includes this rather lengthy introduction to the story, recapping Goku’s past adventures. I don’t think the movie particularly needed this, although I am grateful that they found a way to cram Cell into it.

Then we get to the actual start, where the Kaioshin have observed that Beerus the Destroyer has awakened from his slumber.

Kibitoshin contacts King Kai to keep an eye on the situation, and to keep Goku out of it at all costs.

But Goku is on King Kai’s planet, and he overhears their discussion, and King Kai can’t keep a secret, apparently, so he just tells Goku the whole thing. So far, all the gods we’ve seen in Dragon Ball are responsible for creating and preserving life, like the Kais and Kaioshin. Beerus, on the other hand, is a Hakaioshin, or God of Destruction, and it’s his role to destroy stuff from time to time, in order to maintain balance in the universe. And unlike all the Kais, Beerus actually has immense power worthy of his authority.

And naturally Goku wants to see how strong he is, even though King Kai keeps insisting that he’s not someone Goku needs to mess with.

And there’s the title of this here picture.

We then go to Beerus’, uh... planet? Whatever this thing would be called. It reminds me of Tokimi’s domain in Tenchi Muyo!

And here’s Beerus. He’s a big purple cat dude, and he’s pretty awesome. I’m not sure how long he normally sleeps, but he set his alarm to wake him up after 39 years, and everyone comments that this is a very short nap by his standards. Also, Beerus’ alarm clock is made of bombs, because Dragon Ball Z.

This is regarded as one of the best, if not the best Dragon Ball film, and it’s tough to argue the point. In 2013-2014, it was a big heckin’ deal because it was the big return of Dragon Ball after the end of Dragon Ball GT in 1997. From 2015 onwards, it became known as the ground floor of a whole new Dragon Ball franchise, Dragon Ball Super. But even without the hype and nostalgia, what puts it ahead of the other movies is the simple fact that it works within the canon of the original manga. It’s set during the ten year gap in the Kid Buu Saga, and it actually adds to the lore of the main story. Movies 5 and 8 introduced characters with connections to the main story in Cooler and Broly, but they barely tried to explain what those characters had been doing while all the stuff with Frieza was going on.

By contrast, Movie 14 introduces a new deity, and he claims at least partial responsibility for destroying Planet Vegeta. That’s a huge deal, and it’s not something that Turles or Bojack could ever do. According to Beerus, he believed the Saiyans were beyond redemption, so he planned to destroy their planet, but it was too far away for him to bother with, so he told Frieza to do it for him. At the same time, Beerus found Frieza to be quite insufferable as well, so he considers destroying him as well, but then his attendant Whis tells him that someone named Goku already beat him to it.

When Whis explains that Goku beat Frieza by becoming a Super Saiyan, it reminds Beerus of a dream he had about something he calls a “Super Saiyan God”. See, before he took his 39-year nap, Beerus was told that he would meet an arch-rival. That’s why he set his alarm bombs for this year, because this is supposed to be when it happens. Apparently during his nap, he had a dream of his own, that he would fight a Super Saiyan God.

Whis doesn’t put much stock in any of this, especially since the Oracle Fish who made the prophecy doesn’t seem to recall saying it, but Beerus insists on investigating, so Whis locates the remaining Saiyans on Earth. He then notices Goku is on King Kai’s planet, so they decide to head there first.

Meanwhile, on Earth, it’s Bulma’s birthday. She won’t say how old she is, but this movie is set in Age 778, four years after the fight with Majin Buu, and she was born in Age 733, so she’s 45 in this movie.

There’s a bit where Mr. Satan apparently meets Bulma’s father for the first time and mistakes him for a waiter. Ox King has to explain who Dr. Brief is, and Mr. Satan is mortified to learn that he just asked the world’s richest man to fetch him a drink. Dr. Brief doesn’t seem to mind much.

There’s a bingo tournament at the party, and the prizes include stuff like an entire castle. Bulma offers to liquidate prizes into cash if the winners prefer that. I dig how 18 really, really wants some sweet castle money.

On King Kai’s planet, Beerus and Whis arrive and have a somewhat awkward conversation with Goku, who knows nothing about “Super Saiyan God.” Beerus decides to head for Earth to ask the other Saiyans there, but before he goes, Goku asks him to demonstrate some of his awesome power with a quick sparring match. Beerus is intrigued by the request, so he agrees.

So Goku powers up to Super Saiyan 3, but he can’t even touch Beerus, or make him take the battle seriously.

Really, this is my favorite part of the movie, because I dig me some Super Saiyan 3, and this movie just demolishes the whole concept of SSJ3 with the way Beerus humiliates Goku in this form. It’s incredibly strong, as seen when Goku misses a punch and blasts a hole through King Kai’s planet, but against Beerus, SSJ3 is meaningless.

Beerus only uses two blows to beat Goku. The first is a playful flick of the finger in Goku’s face, and the second is a light chop to the neck. Goku goes down like a ton of bricks, and Beerus proceeds on his merry way to Earth.

Now, you might be wondering how King Kai even has a planet, since Cell destroyed it way back in Episode 188. Beerus and Whis briefly mention that it was restored, but they don’t say how it happened. Neither does anyone mention that King Kai and Bubbles are still dead. This is a running gag through Dragon Ball Super, where Goku keeps promising to wish King Kai back to life but never gets around to it. I could have sworn King Kai was alive in Movie 14, but I must have been mistaken, unless Toei edited all these halos in after the fact.

By the way, Whis also mentions that King Kai’s planet is so small because Beerus got angry once and did something to make it this size. I don’t know if he destroyed most of the planet’s mass, or some other thing. At some point, it got established that Beerus was the one who trapped the Elder Kai in the Z-Sword, but that seems out of character as well. Beerus destroys stuff. Shrinking planets and sealing people in swords really isn’t his style.

As for King Kai, he telepathically contacts Vegeta to warn him of Beerus’ impending arrival. He makes it clear that Goku was no match for Beerus, and if anyone upsets Beerus, he might decide to destroy the Earth in his anger.

Meanwhile, Goku struggles to make sense of what just happened. He’s thrilled to have encountered someone so powerful, but he has no idea whether Super Saiyan God is a new form, or a person named “God” who happens to be an unknown Saiyan. He also briefly considers fusing with Vegeta to beat Beerus, but then decides that not even Gogeta could close the gap in their powers.

Luckily, Goku had some senzu beans in his belt, and Bubbles fishes one out and feeds it to him. But that only restores Goku’s health. He still doesn’t have an answer to the problem of Beerus.

So it’s up to Vegeta, who finally puts in an appearance at Bulma’s party. She teases him, but he’s in no mood for jokes, because he feels like he remembers Beerus from somewhere, and he doesn’t know where.

So Bulma’s like, whatever, imma get my drink on.

Then Beerus calls out to Vegeta, and Vegeta doesn’t know where he is. One of the conceits of this movie is that Beerus’ power doesn’t operate on the ki used by most of the main characters. So Goku and Vegeta can’t sense Beerus and Whis’ presence the way they can sense one another. Supposedly, all deities are like this, except Kami and Dende had ordinary ki, and so did King Kai, because Goku was always able to find him for instant transmission. The Supreme Kai is a different story, I guess, but Goku threatened to teleport to him at the beginning of this movie, implying that he could sense his presence and use Instant Transmission to reach him.

Anyway, Vegeta searches a trash can for Beerus, since yeah, I guess he could be in there.

Oh, Krillin, you have no idea. One of the major qualities that makes this movie a fan favorite is all the dumb stuff Vegeta does in this one.

At last, Vegeta finds Beerus, and he remembers the time they visited Planet Vegeta when he was a child. His father, King Vegeta, prepared a banquet for him, and spent the whole meal as a footstool.

Personally, I never liked this scene much. I think they just needed a way for Vegeta to have already met Beerus in the past, and this works well enough, except having Beerus humiliate King Vegeta seems rather redundant. King Vegeta was already a vassal to Frieza, so having a second character treat him this way just feels hollow.

Beerus asks Vegeta about the Super Saiyan God, but he doesn’t know anything about it either. That might have been enough to get them to leave, except Bulma’s party attracts his attention, and he loves the smell of the food, and then Bulma herself walks over and invites Beerus and Whis to join them, much to Vegeta’s chagrin.

For what it’s worth, Beerus conducts himself with grace and manners at the party. He puts up with Piccolo’s karaoke...

...enjoys the cuisine and the view of Yamcha’s handsome face...

...and he shows everyone his awesome dance moves.

Vegeta gets nervous when Mr. Satan drunkenly challenges him to a fight, but then he passes out and Beerus has a laugh over it, so he clearly didn’t take it seriously.

Meanwhile, Emperor Pilaf is sneaking around inside Bulma’s house. So here’s the deal: these three never stopped trying to get the Dragon Balls to achieve world domination, and apparently at some point they succeeded, only for Pilaf to wish for restored youth instead. Mai complains that they were made too young, but Pilaf’s reasoning is that it wouldn’t do for them to wish for world domination and then die of old age immediately after.

I feel like this is some sort of shot at Dragon Ball GT, where the Pilaf Gang appears in the first episode and they’re very elderly. But maybe I’m reading too much into that. At any rate, Pilaf is young, but he’s also poor, so he plans to use their next Dragon Ball wish to get some cash, and then they can wish to rule the world. Does he know that the Dragon grants more than one wish at a time now? I feel like Toriyama might have forgotten that in 2013, honestly.

Somehow, Pilaf has a Dragon Radar, and that’s how he knows all seven Dragon Balls are in Bulma’s house. Turns out they’re the grand prize of the bingo tournament, and so they’re located in the prize room. How did Bulma fit an entire castle inside one room of her house?

Overcome with envy, Pilaf spray paints graffitti on the prizes. Yeah, DX Rulz!

They find the Balls, but can’t risk summoning Shenron indoors. Then Trunks walks in on them, and then Goten shows up, and they panic, because they mistake Goten for Goku, their old nemesis.

This screencap should be in the Smithsonian or something.

Mai was trying to steal one of the other prizes, a valuable diamond, but she hands it back to Trunks before running away.

Goten asks who those guys were, Trunks says Mai is his girlfriend, which impresses Goten to no end. “So awesome!” I like that there’s at least some effort to try to age up the boys. Goten doesn’t look too different, but his dad was pretty short at twelve, and he’s only eleven here. Meanwhile, Trunks should be almost the same age as Future Trunks was when he found Future Gohan’s dead body.

Anyway, Mai only gave Trunks the diamond to cover her theft of one of the Dragon Balls. Her plan is to hold it for ransom, say one million dollars. But the diamond was probably worth a lot more than that.

But before they can make their escape, Trunks invites them to join the party because Bulma wants to meet his new girlfriend. Pilaf thinks it’s him. Mai isn’t too keen on pretending to be Trunks’ date, but at least they get free food out of this.

Back on King Kai’s planet, Goku films more segments for Jackass. He always forgets to bring a camera, but it’s the thought that counts.

Then Bulma tries to start the bingo tournament, but Yamcha points out that one of the Dragon Balls is missing, which screws up her grand prize.

Pilaf gets caught sneaking the seventh ball, so Mai tries to use Trunks as a hostage. Except everyone thinks it’s a skit, either because Trunks is impervious to bullets, or because no one thinks Mai would have a real gun.

Then Gohan decides to join in, so he switches to his Great Saiyaman outfit and dares Mai to shoot him in the face. What the fuck?

So she does it, and Gohan deflects the bullets. He’s irked that Mai’s gun is real, and even more irked when he realizes he deflected one of the bullets into his wife’s leg. Imagine going to a party like this and getting shot. I guess this is why they stopped inviting Launch to these things.

Oh, and then Master Roshi wants to feel Videl up. She got shot, you asshole! Master Roshi belongs in jail. Seriously, imagine you’re Mr. Satan, and you just watched your daughter get shot, and some sex pest shows up and he’s all “Lemme give her mouth-to-mouth eh-heh-heh-heh-heh!” This whole part of the movie hasn’t aged well, at least for me.

I guess it didn’t bother me so much the first time I saw it because I knew Dende could just heal her, but that doesn’t make this okay. Someone informs Mr. Satan that Dende is Kami, and he’s all like “What? Really?” I guess he just forgot that day they hung out together stalking Super Buu on the deserted planet Earth.

Anyway, Dende somehow detects that Videl is pregnant while he heals her leg. He seems kind of concerned about this, like he doesn’t know what that means. “Ma’am, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I think you have a parasite.” “No, that’s a baby, it’s cool, I put it there.” “Look, I didn’t come here to listen to you brag about your sex life.”

Oh, also one of the bullets hit Beerus, which irritates him enough that he decides to blow up the world...

Until Vegeta jumps on stage and performs his epic Bingo song and dance number. How did he get the music cued up?

Watching Vegeta make an ass of himself is enough to calm Beerus down, so Vegeta thinks he might be safe for a little longer.

Meanwhile, Piccolo loses at Bingo and Bee eats his card. What a good boy. Well, without any pesky litter to annoy Beerus, it looks like Vegeta is home free. Wait, why is “Roundabout” by Yes playing?

Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Oh no...

Oh, he won’t share his pudding because he doesn’t know this guy can kill everybody that’s bad.

So this leads to Buu throwing down with Beerus, and Beerus can kick his ass easily, but the point is that he’s mad enough to destroy the world, and this time no amount of singing and dancing is going to calm him down.

Everyone tries to stop Beerus, but he just schools them all with chopsticks.

Gohan gets Beerus in a full nelson for like 0.2 seconds, but it doesn’t get him very far. Why did Gohan change clothes again for this?

So Vegeta figures we’re all screwed now anyway, so he jumps into the fray.

It goes about as well as you’d expect. To be fair, he lasts longer than Goku did.

Goten and Trunks fuse into Gotenks, who tries to shame Beerus over his motives. He’s going to destroy the whole world over pudding? I’ve probably said this before, but when Gotenks thinks you’re being immature, it’s probably time to take a step back and think about your choices.

Beerus replies that he’s upset about pudding because he’s never had it before, and now he can never taste it because some pink asshole ate it all. Gotenks doesn’t understand his frustration because he probably eats pudding all the time. This scene is dumb, but it actually captures the core point of this conflict. Beerus savors all these new experiences because he’s like a kajillion years old, and it’s hard for him to find something truly novel in life. So when he’s denied the taste of pudding, it’s a huge deal to him, while the other characters take it for granted.

Then he spanks Gotenks and tosses him to the ground.

You know, the funny thing about it is that I really have no idea what kind of pudding we’re talking about here. The term covers so many different types of food. I assume this is about Jello instant pudding, specifically French Vanilla flavor. So yeah, of course Beerus should be angry about that. French Vanilla Jello pudding rules, and he doesn’t even know it. But for all I know, Buu was eating a bunch of flan, Panna cotta, or haggis. In which case, yeah, Beerus probably shouldn’t be this worked up about it.

Anyway, nobody can stop this dude, and Vegeta’s amazed by just how much stronger Beerus is. He at least takes some solace in the honor of being killed by no less than the God of Destruction.

But then Bulma confronts him and tells him to cut out all this shit, because he’s ruining her 38th birthday party. Krillin’s pleased to hear how old Bulma is, but that’s dumb, because he ought to know Bulma’s older than he is.

Anyway, she slaps Beerus, who slaps her back and knocks her down, and Vegeta loses his shit. This is the famous “MY BULMAAAAAA” scene. It’s weird to me, but I remember what a big deal this was at the time, and yet now it feels sort of mundane. Like, I first watched this movie in late 2013, on some kind of bootleg fansub, and I think the scene had gotten around in the U.S. But even by the time it came to theaters in 2014, the audience went apeshit when this happened. Vegeta loves his wife! Now it’s like, of course he loves his wife. Movie 14 said so. But at the time, when Movie 14 was brand new, this was the sort of thing Vegebul shippers could only appreciate in theory.

Don’t get me wrong, this part fucking rules. Everyone’s been tiptoeing around Beerus this whole time, but Vegeta’s been pushed too far, and he’s got nothing to lose, and for a brief moment, it looks like Beerus is getting a taste of his own medicine.

Then we see this lady, for no apparent reason. This is Kaori Mutsumoto, who won the 2012 Olympics Gold Medal for judo. I guess that’s why they gave her a cameo in this movie, but that’s about all I know.

Anyway, none of Vegeta’s furious offense hurts Beerus at all, even though Master Roshi observes that he surpassed Goku in power. Beerus boops him on the forehead and knocks him out.

In the theatrical cut, this is when Goku would show himself, but in the extended version, Beerus decides to give the Earth one more chance by challenging Oolon to a game of rock-paper-scissors. I really don’t know what the point of this was. I mean, it’s kind of funny, I guess, but why Oolong specifically? I guess Toriyama wanted to give Oolong a moment in the film, but why? He was in most of the Buu Saga, holed up on Kami’s Lookout with the others until Super Buu ate him, but he barely said or did anything the entire time. Why should anyone care about him now? Why should Beerus single him out, of all people?

Anyway, the gag here is that Yamcha thinks Beerus picked Oolong because he’s a pig, and pigs can only do scissors because of their cloven hooves. But Oolong’s a pig-man, with man hands, so he can do paper and rock too. So Yamcha tells him that Beerus will certainly go with rock, so Oolong should use paper to counter.

Except Beerus overhears the entire conversation, because his ears are bigger than his entire head, so he does scissors and wins. Dragon Ball Super turned this bit into half of an entire episode. The Beerus Saga in Dragon Ball Super is fucking vile. They took a great movie like this and just turned it into crap.

All right, so now Goku makes his big entrance. At first he looks all cool, like when he walked up to Frieza back on Namek, but the truth is he still has no idea how to beat Beerus. Then he gets an idea on how to get a Super Saiyan God, and asks Beerus for time to try it out.

Said idea is the Dragon Balls. Is that Farmer with Shotgun? He’d settle Beerus’ hash.

Basically, Goku asks Shenron about the Super Saiyan God, and this throws him off, because Shenron grants wishes, and answering questions is kind of a grey area for him. Fortunately, he’s so frightened to see Beerus that he’s very accomodating and just explains the whole Super Saiyan God concept in detail.

So real quick, because this post is taking forever: The Super Saiyan God isn’t an individual deity, but a transformation once used by righteous Saiyans to rebel against their evil brethren. The figure seen while Shenron tells this story was later identified by Akira Toriyama as Yamoshi, the first Super Saiyan. He and his five Saiyan allies fought against the evil Saiyans, and I guess they turned him into this God form, which let him whoop-ass until he ran out of power.

With that settled, Shenron excuses himself, mostly out of fear of Beerus. I’d say that Shenron owes Goku a second and third wish, but I’m not sure answering his question counted as a first wish, so who knows?

So this leads to the gang arguing over whether they have five righteous Saiyans, since Vegeta used to be a real dick, and Goku’s not always dependable either, and Goten once shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. But they figure they might as well give it a shot, and they all hold hands and lend their power to Goku. Only it doesn’t work. Goku gets stronger, but nowhere near strong enough to beat Beerus, and there’s nothing divine about his power-up.

But Whis points out that they actually need six Saiyans, since Shenron’s story states that it took five righteous Saiyans to help a sixth one achieve the form. Bulma remembers Vegeta’s brother, Tarble, from the “Yo! Son Goku and His Friends Return” special, which aired in 2007 and was set about two years before this movie. Only Vegeta doesn’t even know where Tarble lives or how to contact him. Couldn’t Whis track him down? I mean, he found all of these guys easily enough.

Then Videl suggests that they have a sixth Saiyan right here, because Gohan got her pregnant.

Everyone flips out, but this is hardly the time to celebrate, because Beerus is about to blow up the world. So they do the hand-holdin’ thing again, but with Videl.

And it works. Like Beerus and Whis, no one can sense Goku’s ki anymore, and he’s got maroon hair and his body is lankier than before.

So Beerus and Goku fight. Honestly the Super Saiyan God form doesn’t seem like such a big deal, since this part of the fight is just the warm up. It takes Goku a while to get used to using it, and they spend most of that time discussing how Goku is dissatisfied with how he got to this level. He doesn’t like that he needed the others to help him achieve this form. Beerus scolds his stubborn pride, and says that most Saiyans wouldn’t care about such details, because all they crave is power, by any means.

But Goku points out that Vegeta is even prouder than he is, and yet Vegeta forsook his pride to protect the others, back when he did the bingo song and all of that stuff. This tells us two things. First, Goku was there to witness all of that. Second, Beerus was fully aware of Vegeta’s efforts to keep him from becoming angry. I’d suggest that Beerus isn’t quite as irritable and volatile as he seems. Maybe he purposely goaded Vegeta to test him, just like how he hit Bulma just to see if it might provoke Vegeta into reaching a higher power level.

The point, though, is that for all of Vegeta’s pride, he could set it aside for the bigger picture. He can compromise for the sake of protecting his loved ones and the Earth. Goku’s the same way, which is why he accepted the other’s help in becoming a Super Saiyan God. He doesn’t like how he got here, but he couldn’t afford to try to go it alone.

And really, this is a lesson Goku’s learned time and again. He had to accept teachers before in his life: Grandpa Gohan, Master Roshi, Korin, Mr. Popo, King Kai, and now this. But it’s been a long time since he had to take lessons from anyone, and maybe that’s the problem. Goku’s been on top for so long that he lost sight of something he understood better as a child. A student has to swallow their pride to learn and grow. And Goku will always be a student, because he’s constantly trying to improve himself and push past his limits. Like it or not, he had to accept this path to the God form.

Meanwhile, the rest of the characters get in an aircraft to observe the battle, and Whis asks 18 what ice cream is. He remarks that her response is as cold as his dessert, which he thinks is a clever bon mot. Look, your boss is going to blow up the world. How friendly can you expect her to be here?

Also, Vegeta admits to Krillin that he doesn’t envy Goku like he ususally does in these situations. I like this, because it shows that Vegeta is willing to drop his usual bravado in this situation. This isn’t a fun situation, and he knows it.

Anyway, Goku and Beerus keep fighting, but somehow Goku loses his Nacho Cheese Dorito appearance. He looks like he’s changed back to normal, and yet he’s still fighting Beerus as if nothing’s happened. He can even use Instant Transmission, which would have been nearly useless against Beerus before, because Goku couldn’t sense him. I assume that Super Saiyan God Goku could sense godly ki, so the fact that he can still sense it must mean that he’s still tapping into the SSG power, even if he doesn’t look like it.

Then he turns vanilla Super Saiyan, and now the fight gets really good, because the insert song plays. It’s “Hero” by FLOW. The weird thing is that they recorded an English version of the song for the dub, but when I watched the Japanese version on the DVD, the song is still in English. Weird. Fortunately, I have the Japanese version of “Hero” on my phone, so I can listen to that all the time.

youtube

Anyway, yeeeeahhhhh. Fuck Yamoshi, Goku’s gonna do this Luffa-style and fight Beerus as a Super Saiyan 1.

Then they fight IN SPACE because anime. Earlier, Beerus used hand energy on Goku, so Goku figures he’ll respond in kind, using the best hand energy.

WARP KAMEHAMEHA! Cell may not get to be in this movie, but Goku uses the move that blew his face off! Yee-haw!

But it doesn’t work, and Beerus chucks one of those big energy balls at Goku, like all the other bad guys use. He also points out to Goku that his God power expired several minutes ago.

Then Goku sees Chi-Chi in his thoughts, and that gives him the intestinal fortitude to somehow change back into a Super Saiyan God and nullify Beerus’ energy ball. Chi-Chi’s that good in bed, folks.

So Beerus is truly impressed by Goku’s performance. Somehow, his body learned the Super Saiyan God form, and allowed Goku to tap into that power without doing the hand-holding ceremony with five other Saiyans. Beerus calls him a fighting genius for this, although maybe Yamoshi and any other SSG’s had the same talent, and they just got killed before they could demonstrate it.

In any case, it’s still not enough to win Goku this fight. Beerus wants to hear him surrender, and Goku admits defeat. Beerus had offered to spare the Earth if Goku won, but Goku just can’t beat him, even with the God power. And Beerus refuses to back out of that stipulation, because once he makes up his mind, he sticks to it.

Instead, Beerus gives Goku a different consolation prize by revealing that Whis is actually Beerus’ teacher, and he’s even stronger than Beerus is. So it just goes to show that even Gods of Destruction have to swallow their pride and accept help to grow.

He also informs Goku that their universe is merely the seventh of twelve, which means that Whis isn’t even the strongest being out there. This fascinates Goku to no end, because he always longs to meet stronger folks.

Then they head back to the surface, and Beerus destroys Earth just as he said, only he just destroys a small piece of it, which I guess counts for something. I don’t know if this is a play on “Earth the planet” versus “earth the dirt”, or something else. Beerus says he’s too worn out from the fight to destroy the whole thing, so maybe that’s all it is.

Anyway, Beerus apologizes to Bulma for making a scene at her party, and for hitting her. She agrees to invite them to her next party, and promises to have a swimming pool full of pudding for him. That sounds kind of gross, actually.

On the Supreme Kai Planet, the Kaioshin observe Beerus’ peaceful departure, and are amazed that Goku was able to defuse that situation without Beerus destroying them all. Kibitoshin suggests that maybe it’s not just Goku’s character, but the entire Dragon Team as well. Not Roshi, though, he’s a sex pest who belongs in jail. If Beerus had boobs we’d all be dead right now.

Back on his own turf, Beerus is pleased with how things turned out. Goku and Vegeta weren’t really strong enough to be true arch-rivals, but Beerus is certain that they could eventually become arch-rivals in time, which is good enough for him.

Beerus plans to take a three-year nap, but Whis offers him some sushi that he got in a to-go box before they left. Beerus takes an interest in the glob of wasabi in the box, and he just eats the whole thing.

That makes him bounce around the place like a Tom and Jerry cartoon, and Whis has to hit him to stop him from damaging any nearby planets. So we get at least a glimpse into Whis’ true strength, which is as far beyond Beerus as Beerus is beyond Goku.

Back on Earth, the party just keeps on going. I like the idea of Bulma just throwing a marathon party, but I can’t really say I’d enjoy that personally. I’d probably get bored after 15 minutes.

During this quiet moment, Goku praises Vegeta for turning into “an awesome Super Saiyan” after Bulma got hit.

Vegeta’s embarassed by this, but Goku admits that he definitely surpassed him in that moment. Then he jokes that the next time they have to fight a guy, Goku will just get the enemy to hit Bulma, and that’ll get Vegeta good and fired up.

Then everyone’s mad at Goku, because he must have been watching them get beat up during the middle of the movie and didn’t step in until later. It ain’t easy being Goku.

Then the credits roll, and they show all the highlights from the manga, including this shot of Cell, which is the best one.

And yeah, that’s it.

I mean, it’s definitely one of the best movies of the lot. It’s a lot longer than most of the other films, and it feels more like an actual, stand-alone film. The Cooler movies really depend on you being familiar with a lot of DBZ lore, like Bardock, Frieza, the destruction of Planet Vegeta, and so on. This movie takes care to actually introduce most of the concepts it uses. The Kai’s introduce Beerus, Beerus and Whis introduce Saiyans and Super Saiyans, and Shenron explains what a Super Saiyan God is. It’s not entirely airtight-- no one really bothers to explain the Kais, or why Bulma invited bit players like Ox King and Mr. Satan to her party, but you can at least muddle through.

My main critique is that it’s a little too devoted to fanservice. Not the pervy kind, but the kind where they felt like they had to have Gotenks and Great Saiyaman in the movie, just for the sake of having them put in an appearance. Most of the characters just didn’t need to be there, and I think the movie drags in places when it tries to give Oolong or Mr. Satan something to contribute. There’s something to be said for the minimalist approach used in the DBS: Broly movie, where the only Dragon Team guys are Goku, Vegeta, and Bulma. Yeah, it kind of sucks that Gohan doesn’t get to be in that one, but if they didn’t have anything for him to do, then I’d rather leave him out entirely than have him just stand around like he did for most of this movie.

I remember being kind of bewildered by the way they went to all the trouble of introducing a new form for Goku, only to have him get stronger when he stopped using it, but now that we’ve learned more about the godly ki stuff from Movie 15 and the back half of Dragon Ball Super, it makes a little more sense. Nacho Cheese Dorito Goku was just the door, and this movie was about Goku stepping through it.

Rewatching “Battle of Gods”, I don’t feel quite as hyped as I did when it first came out. I remember being pretty excited about Goku fighting this purple cat dude, and I never dreamed that he’d lose so badly, or that Beerus would turn out to be an okay dude in the end. It was a big deal that they brought all of this stuff back after so many years.

Now, though, it’s just become part of the DBZ mythos, which kind of diminishes it somehow. It’s definitely not as good as Fusion Reborn, at least for me. I was looking forward to watching Movie 12 again way back in July, and when I did get to that one, I ended up rewatching large sections of it a few times. I just love that movie. Same thing with Movie 13. I only watched that one the one time, but the whole time I was watching it, I kept thinking “Man, this is so good.” BoG is a great movie, but it’s just not on the same level as those others. Just my opinion, of course.

Nevertheless, you’ve got a really awesome trilogy of movies here, which serves as a nice make-good for the crap trilogy of Bojack and the Broly sequels. And after that, you’ve got Movie 15, and well...

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