#david fatherzoned him

[sardonicheir]

the thing thats disgusting me the most about all this is david jenkins saying that izzy was like a "father figure" to ed. because like where??? idk i cant put my thoughts together too well rn but like. theres always been a very clear power imbalance on ed's side with ed being izzy's boss and all. in season one izzy states multiple times that ed has always been a brilliant sailor and fighter and he was honored to work for him, when he (presumably for the first time ever) threatens ed he gets the tables flipped on him almost immediately, he suffers continuous abuse at the hands of ed, etc. and that to me makes it impossible to place izzy in a mentor/father figure role because a father figure is supposed to have strength and autonomy and its only after izzy has been freed from ed that he gets to experience those. idk its such an odd and mischaracterizing statement that david (from what he said) based his entire decision to kill off izzy off of. not to even mention him teasing edizzy and steddyhands all throughout his interviews for the season to then turn around and say izzy was a father figure all along? mf did u forget u had this father figure sing the soundtrack to the main couple's first time literally two eps ago?? im so so disgusted

#ofmd #izzy hands #david jenkins #its impossible to have queerbait on a queershow #whats this then😭 #tbh i didnt think it was possible either but here we are #david fatherzoned him #he deserved better on so many levels... #ofmdspoilers

[sobbingdistantnoises]

I am a little confused about the ask game buttttt 

i just found this and i can’t stop laughing

also do you have any weird stories you’d like to tell? 

HELPPHDJSJAKKA, THAT'S AMAZING, hdjsjaj. Don't you just hate when your subconuous mind makes you build shelves? </3

BUT WEIRD STORIES, hm.

OKAY I THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. Basically, context: I've had the same history teacher and class for two years, and said teacher has taught at the school for since it was built. Therefore he was there for its whole history

What's also to note is that my course was a 2 year course with both freshmen and sophomores, and we had about 60 kids in the classroom. Therefore we needed a BIG classroom. The school didn't initially have classrooms big enough, so what they ended up doing was knocking a wall down between two small classrooms to form a big history classroom. However, because there used to be a wall in the middle of the classroom, there still needed to be a pole for integral structural support or whatever. Thus, my classroom had a 1x1 foot pole towards the front of it

Now (time), the teachers have put stuff on it, like Caravaggio paintings, some student's drawing of a theoretical mid evil (<- can't figure out how to spell it) kingdom ensignia (<- I should really use words I can spell) for my teacher, and Raphael's School of Athens. However, what my teacher told us last year is that that wasn't ALWAYS the case. Because several years back, some girl put a picture of some celebrity on it, then someone else did the same, etc etc. Basically, for a few years, it became known as the pole of hotness

However, for some reason, the hot people went away, and no one has added anything else to it.....UNTIL NOW.

You see, this year, I liked and became friends with the 3 people that sat at my table. So we hatched a PLAN ("plan") somewhere in the middle of the year to go and put someone on the pole of hotness "one day". However, then exams happened and we cried and forgot to do this until the second to last Thursday of school. Then forgot to do it until Friday morning, which was the last day of the normal school schedule and our last chance to pull it off

We all basically frantically tried to think of hot people that would be more or less universally known. Through a combination of none of us knowing universally known hot people or not wanting to confess to finding someone attractive, we settled on. Wait for it. Dante Alighieri's hat.

This is Dante ^ He was a mid evil Italian who wrote a long poem about going to hell with his friend Virgil (dead Roman poet) who he may or may not have either fatherzoned or had a celebrity crush on. Not sure if I'm honest. But either way, I don't recall his hat ever being important

STILL I managed to get a fixation on this hat. Let's go through a list of what I have done

Wrote "Dante Alighieri's dumb hat" in response to the question of the day, "what is your pet peeve". My friend drew him underneath, and my teacher pointed it out to the whole class and called it "the most humanities student thing ever" the next day

Wrote 6 pages of crossover crack fanfiction between Dante, his hat (which I named Lauren after the fact that laurel leaves exist and John Laurens (I didn't watch Hamilton by this point but I think I read a few fanfics)), and Paul Revere based on the idea that Lauren could talk for an assignment

(Not hat specific but) wrote about wanting to time travel to the moment Dante finished writing the Divine Comedy in order to appear as a divine being and scare him on my FINAL EXAM ESSAY (the whole essay was slightly unhinged in general but shh)

Added Dante's hat to a slideshow my friend's friends made called "chest hair history" in which they put a lot of shirtless people and shared with the history teachers at the end of the year (MY FULL NAME IS ALSO ON THIS THING. ON THE FIRST SLIDE) (unrelated but this whole slideshow is so dumb, there's Elon Musk, Michelangelo's David, Bruce Dickinson (I LATER FOUND OUT MY TEACHER IS AN IRON MAIDEN FAN, dying), Steven Adler, and one of Genghis Khan's grandchildren, among others)

And now we have come to the point at which a fifth point will be added. But first, my friends and I frantically panicked as we realized that I was afraid to ask my art teacher (who is actually so nice, 10/10 teacher, I just fear things) to use the printer but was the only one with a period where I could effectively do whatever since it was the last days of school

So instead, I spent 40 minutes drawing, and then it was time to go to history, equipped with a colored pencil'd notebook paper drawing of his hat

Putting it on the pole was simultaneously both simpler and more difficult that we assumed (we had no plan). My teacher talked at the start of class, we realized we had no tape, we schemed (panicked) and didn't know what to do. My teacher finished went away to his farther away desk. We decided to go steal some tape from the teacher's table that was ~two meters away from us. (ALSO NOTE. WE WERE NOT SLY. WE SAT AT THE FRONT OF THE ROOM, AND DANTE'S HAT IS BRIGHT RED.)

Tape acquired, we all looked at each other in our seats not knowing when to get up nor who will get up to put the paper on the wall. So impulsively, I took the paper, walked a few meters over to an emptier side of the pole, STUCK IT ON THERE, speedwalked back to my seat. And then the paper fell and I had to tape it again not a full 15 seconds later whilst the teacher had actually TURNED SO THAT I THINK I WAS IN VIEW while I did the deed, hfjsjaka. (And there was also a group of guys sitting right in front of the pole who looked at the new addition so ???ly, FJSJAJA)

And that is. the story of how I indirectly called some old dead guy's hat hot and subtly announced this to my history classroom for hopefully years to come (we shall see whether it's still up next year). I will also now pray that no one irl finds this post (I think at least one of the three friends has tumblr so. Fear.)

#asks #kk #dante alighieri