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‘We didn’t ask for this mess’: voters react to Johnson’s court defeat

Blackpool – 68% leave

As flocks of seagulls caw and swoop to retrieve discarded chips and candyfloss, 90-year-old Gloria Maltby takes a moment on a bench near Blackpool’s historic Winter Gardens.

The great-grandmother has lived through 18 prime ministers – the same number as the Queen – yet none has ever incensed her as much as Boris Johnson.

During a brief din from the wailing of the birds, the former factory worker describes her outrage, but above all her deep embarrassment.

“He has brought this country to its knees,” she says. “He is a liar and not only has he embarrassed the country and the Queen but what he did was illegal. There seems to be one law for Boris and another for everybody else.”

Maltby, like many others in the Irish Sea coast resort, voted to leave. In the 2016 referendum it was the most Eurosceptic place in north-west England with 67.5% saying they wanted to leave the EU.

James Sullivan: ‘The Queen should take charge!’ Photograph: Christopher Thomond/The Guardian

Amid reports that the government will seek to lay out a people v parliament campaign in any general election, one of the key questions about the supreme court’s decision that the prorogation of parliament was unlawful is whether voters will conclude that the judges were justified – or decide that Brexit is being thwarted by an establishment stitch-up.

“Yes, we voted to leave but we didn’t ask for this mess,” Maltby says. “This is undemocratic. Now all I want him [Johnson] to do is get us a deal and then resign.”

Outside JK’s steakhouse and cafe bar, leave voter Tony Shaw, 76, and his partner Brenda Green, 70, who voted to remain, are now in agreement. They both feel Johnson’s position has become untenable.

“I am not impressed,” says Shaw, who was pleased by the judges’ decision. “He’s tried to overrule the country and stop democracy and that is way out of order. He should not be allowed to get away with this. I voted to leave because I did not like the idea of being ruled by the European Union but what is the point when our own politicians just do what they want and get away with it?”

But for James Sullivan, 26, who also voted to leave, there has been one delay too many and now there is only one drastic solution.

“The politicians obviously can’t seem to get this right. All they seem to think about is tactics. We should be following the examples of Scandinavian countries like Denmark and Norway where the royal families get involved in politics. It’s time for the Queen to take charge!” NP

South Gloucestershire – 53% leave

‘The whole country will vote Boris.’ Ken Balkwill in the Kings Chase shopping centre. Photograph: Adrian Sherratt/The Guardian

In Kingswood, South Gloucestershire, 66-year-old Ken Balkwill declared himself a staunch fan of Johnson. “Boris will sort it out,” he said. “When there’s an election I’ll vote for Boris, my wife will vote for Boris, my son will vote for him. The whole country will vote Boris.”

Balkwill did not accept the supreme court’s ruling. “Boris never broke the law,” he said. “It’s not for the law courts to decide how the country should be run. The government is there to run the country. The courts should let it get on with it.”

Paul Boyce, 72, a retired railway worker and a leave-supporting Tory, agreed. “I think the law courts have too much power. What’s going to happen now? Is the government going to have to go the courts every time it passes a new law?”

Kingswood lies three miles east of Bristol city centre, its name originating from the time when it was part of the royal hunting estate. Bristol voted for remain but Kingswood falls within South Gloucestershire, where 53% voted to leave.

Jake Turner, a 19-year-old worker at the fruit and veg shop in Kings Chase shopping centre, was too young to vote in the EU referendum. He thinks he would have voted leave but if there is a second referendum might plump for remain.

On Johnson, he said: “I don’t think he’s the man for the job but actually I’m not sure who could do that job. I certainly don’t trust Jeremy Corbyn, he scares me. He promises so much but the country wouldn’t be able to afford it.”

Yvonne Kelly, 51, who runs the flower shop in the shopping centre, was one of the few that thought the court had been right to find against Johnson.

“I think Boris is arrogant, I don’t think he’s in touch with real people and what they want,” she said. “To turn round and close parliament like he did shows that arrogance. I’m more leaning to Labour at the moment.” SM

Perth – 61% remain

Kenneth Sloan was pretty clear that Johnson deserved to lose in the supreme court. “I think Boris wanted to game the system,” Sloan said as he waited outside Primark in central Perth for his wife with their small white dog. “We’re a parliamentary democracy, and we need to go back to parliament.”

Sloan, 42, added: “This talk about how they shouldn’t get involved in the political system: there’s the rule of law, you can’t just do what you please. He said it wasn’t about Brexit in the first place but it clearly was, otherwise they wouldn’t need such a large prorogation.”

In many respects Perth exemplifies Scotland’s recent political history and its political tensions. Once regarded as a Tory stronghold, it is now represented by Scottish National party MPs and MSPs. In the 2017 snap election, the Conservatives came within 21 votes of beating the veteran SNP MP Pete Wishart in Perth & North Perthshire – one of the narrowest margins of the election.

Kenneth Sloan: ‘There’s the rule of law, you can’t just do what you please.’ Photograph: Robert Perry/The Guardian

A day after the supreme court judgment, voters in the city were split over whether the court was right to overrule Johnson: there were furious leave voters and delighted remain voters.

Douglas Glen, a pro-Brexit businessman and former army officer, said the court’s intervention raised profound questions that could only be resolved by a fresh election. “I think it’s the beginning of a major constitutional crisis in the UK,” he said.

Glen was nonplussed by the earlier high court ruling in England that said the prorogation was lawful and dismissive of the three senior Scottish judges in the court of session whose ruling against Johnson was upheld by the supreme court. They were too easily influenced by Scotland’s nationalist devolved government, he said.

That the court judgment was not about Brexit

“It is important, once again, to emphasise that these cases are not about when and on what terms the United Kingdom is to leave the European Union. They are only about whether the advice given by the prime minister to Her Majesty the Queen on 27 or 28 August, that parliament should be prorogued from a date between 9 and 12 September until 14 October, was lawful and the legal consequences if it was not.”

That the court had the right to act

“The first question is whether the lawfulness of the prime minister’s advice to Her Majesty is justiciable. This court holds that it is. The courts have exercised a supervisory jurisdiction over the lawfulness of acts of the government for centuries.“

That the prorogation was not ‘normal’

“It prevented parliament from carrying out its constitutional role for five out of the possible eight weeks between the end of the summer recess and exit day on 31 October. Proroguing parliament is quite different from parliament going into recess. While parliament is prorogued, neither house can meet, debate or pass legislation. Neither house can debate government policy. Nor may members ask written or oral questions of ministers or meet and take evidence in committees…This prolonged suspension of parliamentary democracy took place in quite exceptional circumstances: the fundamental change which was due to take place in the vonstitution of the United Kingdom on 31 October. Parliament, and in particular the House of Commons as the elected representatives of the people, has a right to a voice in how that change comes about. The effect upon the fundamentals of our democracy was extreme.”

That Boris Johnson’s advice to the Queen was unlawful

“The court is bound to conclude, therefore, that the decision to advise Her Majesty to prorogue parliament was unlawful because it had the effect of frustrating or preventing the ability of parliament to carry out its constitutional functions without reasonable justification.“

That parliament has not been prorogued

“This court has already concluded that the prime minister’s advice to Her Majesty was unlawful, void and of no effect. This means that the order in council to which it led was also unlawful, void and of no effect and should be quashed. This means that when the royal commissioners walked into the House of Lords it was as if they walked in with a blank sheet of paper. The prorogation was also void and of no effect. Parliament has not been prorogued. This is the unanimous judgment of all 11 Justices.”

What happens next?

“It is for parliament, and in particular the Speaker and the Lord Speaker, to decide what to do next. Unless there is some parliamentary rule of which we are unaware, they can take immediate steps to enable each house to meet as soon as possible. It is not clear to us that any step is needed from the prime minister, but if it is, the court is pleased that his counsel have told the court that he will take all necessary steps to comply with the terms of any declaration made by this court.”

The full judgment and the summary judgment can be downloaded from the Supreme court website.

“In the future, how on earth will this work if anyone who doesn’t like anything will take it to the supreme court?” Glen asked. “What we need is an election. I think the House of Commons has become divorced from the people. People know when they’re being had and the people of this country are being really, really had.”

A fellow leave voter, Elaine, who declined to give her full name, said the court ruling had shattered her confidence in democracy. “I was disappointed that the judges got involved because they shouldn’t be above parliament. Parliament should be making our decisions, whether they’re right or wrong,” she said.

‘I’m quite optimistic that it will all come right somehow,’ said student Fern Smith on Perth High Street. Photograph: Robert Perry/The Guardian

Fern Smith, a 19-year-old student who was too young to vote in the 2016 referendum, said she would vote remain if there was a second vote and backed the supreme court’s decision. But since the country had voted leave originally, she said, that should be honoured.

“I’m glad that it was ruled out because the rest of parliament didn’t seem happy with it. It felt right that someone outside parliament told him not to do it,” she said. “I don’t want to say it has definitely been screwed up. I’m quite optimistic that it will all come right somehow. It’s going to happen so we might as well embrace it and hope for the best.” SC

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Brexit: Jeremy Corbyn calls on Boris Johnson to resign after supreme court ruling – as it happened

10.23pm BST22:23

Closing summary

We’re going to close down this blog now. Here’s a summary of the day’s events:

The prime minister acted unlawfully when he advised the Queen to suspend parliament, the supreme court has ruled. In one of the most dramatic judicial decisions in recent history, the 11 justices unanimously declared Boris Johnson’s prorogation of parliament “null and of no effect”.

Johnson faced widespread calls to resign over the historic ruling. The prime minister was forced to call the monarch from UN general assembly, in New York, and to bat away suggestions he should step down.

Pressure also mounted on the attorney general and on the prime minister’s senior aides. Those who advised Johnson that the lengthy suspension of parliament would be both lawful and wise came under intense scrutiny themselves, including from hard Brexit supporters.

Johnson agreed to respect the supreme court’s decision, while saying he disagreed with it. Johnson also indicated that he wanted to go ahead with a Queen’s speech, which would require another prorogation.

But a No 10 source criticised the judges and there were reports a government minister had accused them of mounting a “coup”. A Downing Street source said the supreme court had made “a serious mistake in extending its reach to these political matters”, before an aide travelling with Johnson in the US was forced to distance the prime minister from those comments. It was reported later that the Commons leader had made similarly combative comments to the cabinet.

The Labour leader, Jeremy Corbyn, addressed the party’s annual conference. He attacked the prime minister and committed Labour to – among other things – setting up a publicly owned drugs company to supply cheap versions of drugs for the NHS.

Parliament is due to reconvene on Wednesday after the Speaker called MPs back. Rees-Mogg is due to set out the business of the house in the morning and MPs are queuing up to have their voices heard.

If you’d like to read yet more, my colleagues Heather Stewart, Peter Walker and Rowena Mason have the full story:

10.12pm BST22:12

The Commons leader, Jacob Rees-Mogg, told fellow government ministers that the supreme court judgment amounts to a “constitutional coup”, according to media reports.

The BBC, the Financial Times and the Daily Mail all report that Rees-Mogg made the comments during a conference call with cabinet colleagues this evening.

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

1. Several Cabinet ministers say mood of the conference call was just to move on, to get back to sorting out the political problems -official line and the PM’s line is to respectfully disagree with the judgement but get on with trying to get over the next enormous hurdle

September 24, 2019

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

2. But some expressed more frustration with the court in line with No 10 source earlier – one Cab minister says “interesting for justices to be giving political direction”

September 24, 2019

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

3. Another source says Jacob Rees-Mogg described what happened as ‘constitutional coup’ – his team not denying tonight, but won’t comment

September 24, 2019

Updated at 10.17pm BST

8.23pm BST20:23

Prime minister speaks to the Queen, following supreme court ruling

Peter Walker

Boris Johnson spoke to the Queen after today’s court ruling, a government official has said, declining to give any no more details.

Johnson is due to arrive in London at around lunchtime tomorrow, following an overnight flight. However, a government official with the prime minister in New has said it was impossible to say whether the prime minister would appear before the Commons.

I would anticipate there would be statements to the house, I’m just not in a position to say what they will be on.

Amid a continued backlash over the verdict, the official said Johnson still had full confidence in the attorney general, Geoffrey Cox, and the senior No 10 aide, Dominic Cummings.

Peter Walker (@peterwalker99)

Officials with Johnson in New York are distancing the PM from these sentiments, seemingly being briefed in London.

“He said, very clearly, that he fully respects the independence of the judiciary. I think you have to take him on his word.” https://t.co/aEyDucK53d

September 24, 2019

Asked if Johnson would use words like that, the official in New York said: “I haven’t. And nor has the prime minister.”

After a conference call of the full cabinet, chaired by Johnson in New York ahead of his speech to the UN general assembly later in the evening, Downing Street gave no indications over what the prime minister would do next.

They said the leader of the Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, would set out the planned government business first thing tomorrow.

Another official said that, while it was confirmed the Conservative party conference would take place next week as planned, it had not been decided whether it was necessary to pass a motion seeking a recess for the period, as is traditional.

It has not been ruled out, but nor has it been ruled in.

Updated at 8.26pm BST

7.40pm BST19:40

A Labour government will work towards a net-zero carbon emissions target by 2030. Delegates have backed a motion at the party conference, despite opposition from some trade unions.

They have voted in favour of the “Labour’s Socialist Green New Deal” motion and have backed a separate motion calling for a “Green New Deal” that does not make reference to any dates for decarbonisation.

Speaking after the motion passed, Laura Parker, a spokeswoman for Momentum, said the plan would create “tens of thousands of good, green jobs across the country”.

It will usher in a new era of public luxury for all and welcome climate refugees who have been forced from their homes. In the face of a monumental crisis, we must be bold and ambitious.

We are the last generation who can stop climate breakdown and build a society that works for the many. And now Labour has a plan to do just that.

The US congresswoman, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, praised the move.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC)

This is a huge deal: one of the first major political party adoptions of a #GreenNewDeal as an official policy plank.

Our future relies on whether our leaders choose to act now.

Thank you @UKLabour and all people in the movement for leading the world with ACTION. 🌹🌎 https://t.co/XhhfZzxwpv

September 24, 2019

Responding for the government, the business secretary Andrea Leadsom said:

With even Labour-backing unions admitting this plan is completely unworkable and would threaten jobs, it’s clear Labour aren’t serious about tackling climate change.

Labour’s plans to renationalise huge swathes of the energy system would scare away the investment that is so vital for reducing emissions while leaving the taxpayer to pick up the huge cost.

While Labour talk, Conservatives have been taking action. We have a realistic target to end our contribution to global warming by 2050 and we’re making good progress towards achieving it – reducing emissions by a quarter since 2010 and increasing the use of renewables to record levels.

7.27pm BST19:27

Here’s a little more on the comments from the Irish taoiseach, who has said he and Boris Johnson reached “no agreements by any means” after their meeting in New York. Leo Varadkar said he “got into some more details” with Johnson during the meeting on Tuesday, but stressed nothing concrete had been agreed.

We are very keen that there be a deal, that the UK should be able to leave the European Union in an orderly fashion. That’s in Ireland’s interest, it’s in Britain’s interest too.

But there are certain guarantees that we expect to be honoured; that there won’t be a hard border between North and South…. that North-South cooperation will continue as envisaged by the Good Friday Agreement, that what was given to us by the British government back in December 2017.

Johnson added: “It certainly will.” Later, a Downing Street spokesperson said:

The prime minister met with Taoiseach Leo Varadkar at the UN General Assembly today. They discussed the Brexit talks and the ideas that the UK has been putting forward, including on the issue of consent.

The prime minister was clear that the UK would be leaving on 31 October and said that he was cautiously optimistic that we would be able to do so through negotiating a deal which is acceptable to both sides.

The prime minister underlined his steadfast commitment to the Belfast (Good Friday) Agreement and said that we will never place infrastructure, checks or controls at the border.

They agreed on the vital importance of ensuring the peace, prosperity and security of Northern Ireland. The leaders agreed to stay in close contact in coming days.

Updated at 7.35pm BST

7.01pm BST19:01

Trump urges Johnson to shrug off ‘just another day in the office’ court defeat

Andrew Sparrow

In New York Boris Johnson has held a bilateral meeting with Donald Trump at the UN meeting in New York.

Asked if he would resign for misleading the Queen in the first media question of the meeting, Johnson replied:

As I said earlier on, let’s be absolutely clear. We respect the judiciary in our country, we respect the court. I disagree profoundly with what they had to say. I think it was entirely right to go ahead with a plan for a Queen’s speech. Frankly we need to get on with Brexit.

After the PM was questioned about resigning, Trump said:

I’ll tell you, I know him well, he’s not going anywhere.

Johnson added: “No, no, no.”

Trump also rebuked the reporter who asked whether the PM would resign, saying: “That was a very nasty question from a great American reporter.” But Johnson added: “I think he was asking a question, to be fair, that a lot of British reporters would’ve asked.”

Trump said his reaction to the supreme court judgment was to tell the PM “it’s just another day in the office”. Trump also cited victories of his own in the US supreme court in an effort to reassure the PM. He said:

We won the wall, we won asylum, we’ve won some of the biggest ones, we’ve had a great streak going. We’ve won a lot of decisions and I’m sure that will happen to you.

Johnson added:

Well we are not counting our chickens and we’re full of respect, as I say, to the justice system … We’re going to respect what the court had to say but we’re going to get on and deliver Brexit.

Trump also said that Johnson was “doing a really good job” and that he was going to make “really great progress in October and November”.

“October,” Johnson insisted, referring to his Brexit deadline.

That’s all from me for tonight.

My colleague Kevin Rawlinson is taking over now.

‘He’s not going anywhere’: Trump shows support for Johnson – video

Updated at 7.33pm BST

6.43pm BST18:43

Jeremy Corbyn will return to London on Tuesday evening and and on Wednesday Labour will use “whatever mechanisms there are to try and hold the prime minister to account” in parliament, Corbyn’s spokesman said.

6.40pm BST18:40

Boris Johnson has been meeting Leo Varadkar, the Irish taoiseach (prime minister), in New York, my colleague Lisa O’Carroll reports.

lisa o’carroll (@lisaocarroll)

Varadkar and Johnson meeting over Johnson: Cautiously optimistic about a deal Varadkar: No agreement reached, but we went into some detail

September 24, 2019

lisa o’carroll (@lisaocarroll)

Varadkar says he had a “good meeting” with Johnson.

No agreement but ‘we got into more details’ on Brexit

September 24, 2019

6.36pm BST18:36

Downing Street’s private comments about the supreme court are a lot more critical than anything that Boris Johnson (see 1.41pm) or the government (see 6.25pm) have been saying in public. These are from the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg.

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

1. No 10 source: “We think the Supreme Court is wrong and has made a serious mistake in extending its reach to these political matters.”

September 24, 2019

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

2. Source goes on… “Further, the Supreme Court has made it clear that its reasons are connected to the Parliamentary disputes over, and timetable for, leaving the European Union. We think this is a further serious mistake. “

September 24, 2019

Laura Kuenssberg (@bbclaurak)

3. No 10 – “We think this is a further serious mistake. We will study the judgement carefully to consider how we can best respond in these unique circumstances. As always the government will respect the law and comply with the courts.”

September 24, 2019

David Gauke, the former Tory lord chancellor, who had the whip removed after rebelling over Brexit earlier this month, has condemned this briefing.

David Gauke (@DavidGauke)

This is not on. A clear attempt to undermine respect for the judiciary, questioning the motives of the judges, encouraging others to pile in. Not how a Government should behave. https://t.co/96leSxXCUi

September 24, 2019

6.27pm BST18:27

Jeremy Corbyn’s spokesman said Labour would use every mechanism to bring about an early general election – but that a poll would be conditional on the government not using it to force a no-deal Brexit. The spokesman said:

We will use every mechanism we can to bring about an early election and the only condition being that we need to ensure that they can’t use that to force a crash-out of the European Union without a deal.

6.25pm BST18:25

Labour says Geoffrey Cox should ‘consider his position’ after summary of his legal advice published

Sky News has seen an unredacted version of the cabinet minute that was released to court during the prorogation hearing in Scotland saying Geoffrey Cox, the attorney general, advised Boris Johnson that his five-week prorogation would be lawful. As Sky reports, the version released to court, the reference to the legal advice was redacted, but the unredacted version says:

The attorney general said that his advice on the question of the law is that this was lawful and within the constitution.Any accusations of unlawfulness or constitutional outrage were motivated by political considerations. The proposal was compatible with the provisions of the NIEF [Northern Ireland Executive Formation] Act 2019.

Sir Keir Starmer, the shadow Brexit secretary, has suggested that Cox needs to “consider his position” in the event of his advice turning out to be wrong. At the very least, Cox should make a statement to MPs and release the full legal advice, he said.

In a statement the attorney general’s office said:

The government acted in good faith and in the belief that its approach was both lawful and constitutional. These are complex matters on which senior and distinguished lawyers have disagreed. The divisional court led by the lord chief justice agreed unanimously with the government’s legal position, as did the outer house in Scotland. We are disappointed that in the end the supreme court took a different view. We respect the judgment of the supreme court.

6.07pm BST18:07

Labour sources are saying that the plans for the pharmaceutical industry announced by Jeremy Corbyn (see 5.01pm), involving making research funding conditional on firms providing cheaper drugs and the establishment of a publicly-run firm to produce generic medicines, will save the NHS money. They do not have costings.

Here is an extract from Labour’s Medicines for the Many policy document (pdf).

Few injustices are as stark as the knowledge that a medicine exists to treat or cure a family member, but that the unaccountable greed of a corporation means they are denied it. With drug prices leaping from tens to hundreds of thousands of pounds per patient, these injustices are only going to become more common globally. Here in the UK this situation is placing the egalitarian, collective ethos of the NHS under unbearable strain …

The current market incentives used in drug development are a socially constructed tool, designed to serve the world’s citizens. If they are no longer serving the greater good in their current form – indeed, if they are leading to patients dying without access to lifesaving treatments – then it is incumbent on us to rethink the current model. We need a pharmaceutical innovation system that catalyses the scientific capacity to achieve the status of an innovation nation here in the UK while supporting the kinds of south–south technology transfers that will bring economic sustainability and opportunity. Most importantly, we need a health innovation model that safeguards our NHS, that protects patients, and underpins effective public services around the world to ensure they are able to deliver healthcare for all.

5.48pm BST17:48

Corbyn’s speech – Snap verdict

That might not have been Jeremy Corbyn’s best conference speech, but it may have been his most self-confident and best received. In 2015 he addressed the party still not quite believing he had been elected leader, and with MPs horrified by what had happened. In 2017 he was giddy with success, having done well in a general election that was expected to finish him off. But this year he addressed a party more Corbynite than ever before, as yesterday’s vote showed, with a policy offer more leftwing and radical than ever before, and facing a Tory party looking more divided and chaotic than ever before. The obstacles to Corbyn becoming prime minister are still formidable – read John Curtice on the subject at 9.25am – but the Labour leader could be forgiven for wallowing in the positives for 45 minutes.

This was reportedly a shorter speech than planned, and it did feel as if some newsy chunks with announcements had been cut out at the last minute and saved for another day. But that was obviously the right thing to do in the light of the supreme court announcements. Corbyn’s attack on Johnson was robust, but did not shed much light on the parliamentary tactics that Labour will adopt in the coming days. His account of how he would govern for the 99% was fine as far as it went, but he did not say anything about his approach to government that he has not said before. The most interesting passage was the one that contained the one announcement in the speech, plans for a quasi-socialisation of the pharmaceutical industry. Labour has just released a detailed 52-page document (pdf) with full details. Corbyn himself is not one of parliament’s great policy experts, but if you look, you will find that in many areas his party now has a detailed blueprint for transformative change. What voters will make of it, of course, remains to be seen.

Updated at 5.53pm BST

5.27pm BST17:27

The Labour conference is now singing the Red Flag and Jerusalem, as is traditional at the end of conference.

5.23pm BST17:23

Corbyn is now on his peroration.

Together, we can go beyond defending the gains made by previous generations. It’s time we started building a country fit for the next generation. Where young people don’t fear the future but look forward with confidence and hope.

The tide is turning. The years of retreat and defeat are coming to an end. Together, we’ll take on the privileged, and put the people in power. Thank you.

Updated at 5.25pm BST

5.22pm BST17:22

Corbyn promises to be ‘different kind of PM’

Corbyn thanks his party for their support, his constituents (he says how much he has learned from them) and his wider family.

He has a different view of leadership from others, he says.

I have what might be considered a different view of leadership from the one people are used to. I do believe leaders should have strong principles that people can trust. But leaders must also listen and trust others to play their part. Because there are leaders in every community driving change. Many of them would never dream of calling themselves leaders, but they are.

As an example, he cites a woman campaigning against damp in a block of flats. She may not think of herself as a leader, but she is.

If the British people elect a Labour government in the coming election, I will be proud to be your prime minister. Because I will be a different kind of prime minister. Not there from a sense of born-to-rule entitlement. Certainly not there for some personal power trip. There because I want to put government on your side. To put power and wealth into your hands.There because I believe government should work for you.

Updated at 5.24pm BST

5.18pm BST17:18

Corbyn says Labour stands for the 99%, while the Tories promote division.

This Conservative government. as well as the far right. has fuelled division in our society. They’ll blame people’s problems on the migrant worker trying to make a better life. They’ll blame it on the mum who’s struggling on universal credit. They’ll blame it on Muslims, on young people, on anyone but themselves and their backers, who benefit from a grossly unequal and rigged system.

Labour will do the opposite. We will bring people together. A Labour government will transform our economy and communities. We stand not just for the 52% or the 48% but for the 99%.

Updated at 5.21pm BST

5.16pm BST17:16

And he accuses Boris Johnson of racism.

Dangerous and wrong-headed international interventions have also exacerbated community tensions at home. When Boris Johnson compared Muslim women to letterboxes or bank robbers, it wasn’t a flippant comment, it was calculated to play on people’s fears. Displays of racism, Islamophobia or antisemitism are not signs of strength, but of weakness.

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Fires Of Brexit Consume Another $1.7B, This Time Banco Santander’s

Everyone’s really enjoying the show, though.

Two days ago, the U.K.’s main car industry lobbyist put out a press release announcing that a no-deal Brexit “would have an immediate and devastating impact… causing irreversible and severe damage.” This was translated by Brexit Secretary Michael Gove to mean, “We’re ready, willing and eager to jump off the cliff with you and your criminal prime minister.” As such, we can’t wait to see what magic Gove & co. can work on this, if they’ve got any energy to do so given the current omnishambles in London.

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Spanish banking giant Banco Santander SA will book a roughly €1.5 billion ($1.7 billion) charge over its U.K. business that has been hit by Brexit and changes in banking regulation….

“While ringfencing reforms and Brexit have impacted profitability in the U.K., it remains a critically important market, in which the group is investing significantly to service our customers and to continue to compete,” the bank’s executive chairman, Ana Botín, said.

Santander Takes $1.7 Billion Charge on U.K. Business Amid Brexit Uncertainty [WSJ]

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Some of What’s New About Law Jobs for Humans 2

As we announced recently, were bringing you a new iteration of play Jobs for Humans. It will be held November 15th in new York City and, well, its going to be awesome.

After some deeper consideration, weve fixed to pay for you more of the be in Jobs for Humans that you liked (even more than we promised last time) and less of what you didnt.

For example, were complimentary to deem that this years situation for those who have or desire modern authenticated careers will feature not one, but two Innovators Runways. One Innovators runway will feature authentic professionals who built a militant legal career right out of performance school. They didnt go practice first or badly affect very nearly clerking. They jumped right into uncertainty next both feet. The supplementary will add together mid-career professionals who started out in something more usual after that transitioned into their avant-garde genuine career.

These runways will be divided by a session following employers from the frontier of protester authentic jobs discussing not who they employ or how they think nearly hiring, or even how to persuade them to hire you, but then again nearly how to become a broadminded real career professional. Were calling this session How to build a Human for a conduct yourself Job.

Were then positive to decide the names of some of those who will be joining us in additional York in November. This is deserted the beginning. Stay glued for more counsel soon practically produce an effect Jobs for Humans 2.0 and who else will be there.

Innovators airfield early Career

How to construct a Human for a feign Job

Innovators airfield Mid-Career

Once more for good behave conduct yourself Jobs for Humans 2.0 will be held on November 15, 2019 in further York City. Well explore the frontier of modern true jobs for both recent grads and those who hope they had it to get every on top of again. And we wont even decide them.

Join us in further York to probe the further frontier or legal careers and surround yourself similar to in accord valid professionals.

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It Could Be Worse, Though I Don’t Know How — See Also

DON’T ENCOURAGE THESE GUYS: New ranking labels the “fearsome foursome.”

ANOTHER MANDATORY ARBITRATION CLAUSE BITES THE DUST: Good job, Selendy & Gay.

THESE ARE THE THINGS I THINK ABOUT AT STEW LEONARDS: Who is liable if somebody kills me with the grocery cart?

COURT BLOCKS CALIFORNIA: Trump’s taxes are safe, for now.

BIGLAW CHAIR SLAMS BIGLAW: That’s cute.

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Documentary follows Pastafarians as they strain for recognition

Some time next year, the European court of human rights will decide on the case of a Dutch woman who feels unfairly treated because her country’s highest court has told her she cannot wear a plastic colander on her head for her ID photo.

It may combine Mienke de Wilde’s plea with that of an Austrian former MP, Niko Alm, who proudly wears the offending kitchen utensil on his official documents but now insists his country recognise Pastafarianism – the faith both follow – as a religion.

Watching the pair closely is Mike Arthur, an independent American film-maker whose smart, funny but above all thought-provoking documentary, I, Pastafari, about the world’s fastest-growing faith premieres in the US in October.

All in all, it is shaping up to be quite a big few months for the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, whose believers wear strainers on their heads in homage to their deity, strive to be nice to pretty much everyone, and conclude their prayers with “r’amen” rather than “amen”.

It sounds, of course, like a joke. On one level, it is. But for Arthur, who has spent three years working on his film, and for many Pastafarians who believe their faith embodies some profound – and profoundly important – principles, it is a lot more.

Mienke de Wilde’s ID card photos. Photograph: www.ipastafaridoc.com

“We live,” says Arthur, sitting in an Amsterdam cafe, “in the age of unreason. We no longer value the best idea, but the loudest idea. From Brexit to Trump, we applaud blind faith and are sceptical about overwhelming observable evidence.

“The problem is that rationality is just no match for irrationality. That ship sailed in 2016. People now don’t change their minds, they double down on their irrationality, and using facts, science and reason to contest the unreasonable is simply driving us all further apart. Maybe it’s time to try a different approach.”

A different approach is, undeniably, what Flying Spaghetti Monsterism offers. The church was founded in 2005 by Bobby Henderson, at the time a 25-year-old US physics graduate, as a response to Christian fundamentalists demanding the teaching of creationism in Kansas school science classes. Its name is a portmanteau of pasta and Rastafarianism.

In an open letter, Henderson argued that if intelligent design was to be taught alongside evolution, so should the belief that, with the aid of His Noodly Appendages, an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, probably after drinking heavily (thus explaining its many flaws).

Like other religions, the church has a gospel and, rather than commandments, eight “I’d really rather you didn’ts” (two having been lost). These suggest ways to live your life happily without infringing on others’ rights to do the same – a morality based on harmonious co-existence, nonjudgmental conduct “and generally not being a dick”.

Henderson’s basic point, expertly if satirically made, was that since intelligent design was every bit as much of an evidence-based theory as the unshakable belief that the world was created by an omniscient flying monster made of spaghetti, nothing should be taught in science classes bar science.

Mathé Coolen, an archbishop of Pastafarianism, wearing his colander in court in a still from the documentary. Photograph: www.ipastafaridoc.com

But as it has grown – there are now Pastafarians from Poland to New Zealand and Italy to Taiwan, and the church is officially recognised in at least four countries – it has begun posing bigger questions: what actually is a religion? Who gets to decide that? And why should faith – or lack of it – have anything to do with rights?

For Derk Venema, an eloquent Dutch legal expert who has worked with De Wilde, his former student, to develop her arguments for wearing a colander on her driving licence photo, Pastafarianism raises genuine human rights issues – even if (or perhaps because) it is also satirical.

“I started out thinking this was just a big joke,” Venema says. “But the more you look at it, the more you see it is about fundamental principles. The Dutch courts have denied it has any serious message, but it manifestly does: non-violence, tolerance, loving each other – the same principles as many established religions.”

The European court has previously determined that to be recognised as such, a religion must be cogent, coherent, important to its followers, and “serious”. On the latter point, Venema argues that the humour and good fun of Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is simply a more modern, accessible way of getting its message across.

As De Wilde – who after three long years is starting to struggle with wearing a colander every day, but whose determination to take her case to the European court remains undimmed – puts it: “The fact that the church is fun doesn’t mean it isn’t serious in what it stands for.

“I can imagine it all looks very odd if you’re not a believer. But that’s the case with many faiths – people who walk on water or split themselves in three, for example. Personally, I find other religions unbelievable.”

De Wilde reads the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Photograph: www.ipastafaridoc.com

Moreover, argues Venema, even theologians have “never really been able to agree on what constitutes a religion. So should the state really get to decide? For me, if it looks like a religion, with certain customs and traditions; if its followers call it a religion; and if they call themselves believers, that should be it.”

Most importantly, in many societies belief in an established religion comes with certain privileges: from the right to sport religious headwear on your ID photo in the Netherlands, to faith schools in the UK and full-scale tax exemption for US megachurches. “We say, as long as there are special rights for believers, they should apply to all religions,” says Venema.

Alm, a journalist, writer, publisher and former MP, has fought his five-year court battle to get Pastafarianism recognised as a religion in Austria as part of a broader struggle for a true separation of church and state and genuine religious freedom – which, he argues, should include freedom from religion.

“All we ask is a level playing field,” he says. “Total neutrality of the state towards whatever belief I hold. We don’t want anything forbidden, but the law must apply equally to all of us, whatever we believe in and whether we believe nothing at all. Complete freedom of religion. It’s political.”

He readily concedes, however, that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is a diverse church. “For some, it’s not a political thing at all. In some countries, Pastafarians mainly just want to have fun and eat pasta.”

Bruder Spaghettus, a leading German Pastafarian, by a ‘noodle mass’ sign in Templin outside Berlin Photograph: www.ipastafaridoc.com

Arthur, whose film follows Venema and Alm through their court battles and also features Bruder Spaghettus, the luxuriantly bearded leader of the Kirche des Fliegenden Spaghettimonster in Germany, says Pastafarianism is like other religions, with a supernatural deity, a prophet, and lessons of morality in holy scriptures.

“Unlike other religions, it’s left out hate, bigotry, violence and dogma – its only dogma is that there is no dogma. But by challenging innocuous privileges like the right to wear religious headgear on an ID photo, it makes us think about others, like the right not to vaccinate your children, say, or to use tax-free income to buy private jets so you can fly round preaching science is a conspiracy.”

So Pastafarians, says Arthur, whose film premieres at the Nashville film festival in the first weekend of October, “are actually saying, ‘Look, if no one’s going to talk to each other like adults any more, let’s try something else.’

“By putting their own beliefs on display, in a fun way, they make us think more deeply about ours. And in a time of flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, fake news and alternative facts, they may just be the saviour we’ve been waiting for. R’Amen.”

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Post Traumatic — See Also

I DISLIKED THE DEMOCRATS’ HANDLING OF COREY LEWANDOWSKI: At least until they let the lawyers start talking.

JUDGE PANTY THIEF: My new favorite lead to an ATL story is: “Next time a judge asks to review your briefs, keep in mind that he may mean it quite literally.”

LAWYER SUES OVER BAD YELP REVIEW: Protip: If your lawyer is suing over Yelp reviews, find another lawyer.

HOW TO ARTIFICIALLY INFLATE YOUR GPA: Is this article legal? [Checks notes]. Yeah, okay, technically we’re good to go.

RBG ART: Ruth Bader Ginsburg in mural form.

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Area Lawyer Will Apply What She Learned Representing Ken Griffin To Senior Market Oversight Role At CFTC

Former Citadel lawyer leaving her job at Coinbase for senior markets oversight gig at CFTC…no, really.

Sometimes these don’t even need a polish to be funny and snarky:

A former lawyer for Ken Griffin’s Citadel Securities LLC and cryptocurrency exchange Coinbase has been tapped to lead the U.S. Commodity Futures Trading Commission unit that monitors derivatives markets and reviews new products.

Dorothy DeWitt, who served in senior legal and compliance roles for Citadel, will oversee the CFTC’s division of market oversight, the regulator said in a statement on Tuesday. She has been a top attorney at Coinbase since last November, according to her LinkedIn profile.

Thanks for watching!Visit Website

Ex-Citadel Attorney Picked for Top Market Oversight Job at CFTC [Bloomberg]

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Kim Kardashian Shows She’s The Bigger Person — See Also

Kim Kardashian Sucked It Up On Prison Reform: She put it aside for the greater good.

New York Shows Trump Their Subpoena Power: Cy Vance is looking at the president’s business records.

Lawyer Doesn’t Have A Clue About Houston: Too bad he’s running for mayor there.

It’s That Time Of Year: 1Ls are freaking out, but they really don’t have to.

A SCOTUS Code Of Conduct? Maybe, just maybe.

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Brett Kavanaugh Is Who We Thought He Was — See Also

KAVANAUGH ALLEGATIONS AGAIN — Do you think the Dems will do something this time, or nah?

EMOLUMENTS ARE BACK ON THE TABLE: Second Circuit reinstates emoluments lawsuit, lighting up the Fourth Circuit as they go.

BIGLAW FIRM OFFERS TO BUY OUT SECRETARIES: Trying to trim payroll. It’s beginning to look a lot like 2006.

SOME TRUMP TWEETS: We’re all so used to this unhinged craziness.

PURDUE PHRAMA BANKRUPTCY: Sackler family trying to keep the money tho.

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The Best Obituary Ever, and the Wacky Funeral That Followed

CENTERBROOK, CONN. — Joe Heller always wanted to have the last laugh.

So when he died at 82 on Sept. 8, his daughter Monique Heller sought to provide it by writing a paid obituary in the local paper describing her father’s inimitably irreverent and preposterous personality.

Her humorous tribute was published — online and in print — last week in The Hartford Courant and immediately caught digital fire.

Readers loved the infectious account of this small town Everyman who embodied the tight-knit nature of this hamlet near the Connecticut River, between New Haven and New London.

Image

Mr. Heller was 82 when he died last Sunday.

The obituary listed achievements such as being a “consummate napper” and a regular browser of collectibles at the local dump.

“There wasn’t a road, restaurant or friend’s house in Essex that he didn’t fall asleep on or in,” Ms. Heller wrote, adding that her father “left his family with a house full of crap, 300 pounds of birdseed and dead houseplants that they have no idea what to do with.”

Ms. Heller wrote that her father had warned her against a fancy send-off when he died, preferring that his family “dig a hole in the backyard and just roll him in.”

“He said, ‘I don’t want any of that funeral home stuff,’” she said, employing an off-color word for stuff.

They disappointed him with a festive memorial Thursday evening at the town firehouse, where everyone told Joe Heller stories. The obituary implored attendees to wear “the most inappropriate T-shirt that you are comfortable being seen in public with, as Joe often did.”

On Friday morning, Mr. Heller’s body, in a coffin draped with an American flag, was placed on the 1941 Mack fire truck he helped restore and taken to Centerbrook Cemetery to be buried next to his wife, Irene, who died in 2015, and whom he embarrassed daily “with his mouth and choice of clothing,” according to the obituary.

Family members followed the fire truck in Mr. Heller’s immaculately restored 1932 Plymouth roadster with, as per his request, a set of plastic testicles dangling from the rear bumper.

Mr. Heller’s obit was shared widely on social media, first locally among his many friends in town and then around the world, leading to articles in countless news outlets.

Ms. Heller said on Friday that, “My friend told me that my obit started a new category called Joe-bituaries. She said, ‘You just put the ‘fun’ in funeral.’”

While many paid obituaries are often brief, grievous catalogs of survivors and funeral information, Ms. Heller’s submission was a snappy, unvarnished take on her father as one of the great pranksters in Middlesex County, Conn.

“God thankfully broke the mold after Joe was born,” she wrote.

Ms. Heller, the youngest of Mr. Heller’s three daughters, recalled her father’s doctor approaching them toward the end of Mr. Heller’s life and informing them that he was “a very sick man.”

Their humorous response: “You have no idea.”

The obit chronicled Mr. Heller’s wry outlook and his constant pranks, from passing laxative-filled cake off to friends who pilfered his lunch to bestowing his dogs with off-color names (the better to make loved ones blush when calling the animal).

“I wrote the obit for his local cronies and friends and never thought it would go any further, but I guess it just resounds with people,” Ms. Heller said, adding that comments and condolences have come in “from all 50 states” as well as several countries, including from as far as Australia and New Zealand.

“I’m thankful to the universe that this message of love went viral,” wrote “Dawn from Canada.”

“Sounds like he was an amazing bloke,” wrote John Williams from London.

“Good ole Joe could have been my relative — lol,” wrote Bruce Freshwater from Pittsburgh.

As a young man, Mr. Heller worked as a library assistant at the Yale Law School library before joining the Navy. With no money for college, he managed to secure a job as a self-taught chemist at a local makeup company, where he developed its early cosmetic lines.

When the company moved to Greenwich, Conn., Mr. Heller decided the new town would be too rich for his blood, and he opted to give up the job to stay in Centerbrook, among the working-class friends he treasured, Ms. Heller said.

“He was proud of being a blue-collar guy and not part of the old or new money of Essex,” she said of the municipality that includes Centerbrook and has affluent sections and a wealthy summer contingent with yachts and second homes.

Ms. Heller’s obituary noted that her father considered many of these people “wannabe blue bloods, snoots and summer barnacles that roamed about town.”

Mr. Heller was also proud to be a local civil servant, as a longstanding member of the Essex Volunteer Fire Department and a founder of the local ambulance corps.

He also worked variously as town constable, snowplow operator, crossing guard and dogcatcher, she said.

“He got these jobs because he was the go-to guy in town,” Ms. Heller said. “When the town needed something done, they’d just call Joe.”

As dogcatcher, he customized the wording on his truck to read “Dawg Kecher,” and he staunchly refused to follow local guidelines requiring the euthanizing of some dogs.

Ms. Heller said her father raised his daughters on a steady diet of television characters like Archie Bunker and Benny Hill.

When young men sought to pick his daughters up for a date, Mr. Heller would first run their license plates and check their vehicles for safety, including an inspection of how worn their tires were.

When suitors entered the home, he made sure to be cleaning one of his guns, and that his collection of shotguns and harpoons were clearly on display, Ms. Heller said.

On Friday morning, a Navy honor guard — long known as the Antique Veterans Organization because of its aging membership — delivered a rifle salute, played taps and performed a ceremonial flag-folding ceremony.

The honor guard’s commander, Joseph Barry, admitted that Mr. Heller would have “dropped a few F-bombs” in declaring the whole thing superfluous.

After the burial, Ms. Heller held the American flag presented in her father’s honor and said perhaps the obit had struck a chord with regular people.

“People like my dad are the backbone of this country,” she said, “and I think the world wants to hear their stories.’’

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Ashes 2019: Australia chasing 399 to beat England, fifth Test day four – live! | Sport

11.35am BST11:35

1st over: Australia 3-0 (Harris 0, Warner 2) Broad to start. Warner has taken the first ball in his last couple of innings, but doesn’t today. Harris though gives him the second ball, running a leg bye off the thigh pad. Warner does not look comfortable immediately. Gets beaten outside off, stabs a couple of runs off his pads, then gets beaten again pushing hard at the ball down the line. That was a beautiful bit of bowling, moving away. He survives the first over, though.

11.32am BST11:32

Adrian Armstrong has been busy.

Ian Forth’s reference to Gang Of Four set me wondering whether the post-punkers’ oeuvre might generate a complete Boycott XI. Here goes:

Natural’s Not In It If I Could Keep It For Myself Outside The Trains Don’t Run On Time He’d Send In The Army It Is Not Enough The World At Fault Better Him Than Me [the run-out modus operandi] Do As I Say England’s In My Bones First World Citizen Stranded [those run-outs again]

11.29am BST11:29

Here’s Boris Starling. “Like all Englishmen of a certain age, my instinctive thought when England are defending a substantial lead in the fourth innings can be summed up in two words (Lord’s, Greenidge) and two numbers (1984, 214*). And no, I can’t shake the sinking feeling that Oval, Smith, 2019 and 200ish* is on the cards (224 to overtake Bradman’s record, if my maths is right).”

You’re spot on, Boz.

11.27am BST11:27

“What do you reckon the chances of Warner having an match defining innings and making double figures today?” asks David Kalucy. Given the way he batted in the first innings, not great. He looked completely frazzled.

11.25am BST11:25

Here’s the TMS overseas link for those who want some audio with the chase as well as my sweet, sweet written words.

youtube

11.22am BST11:22

England out for 329, Australia must chase 399 to win

That’s the tally then! A monster for Australia to chase, nearly 400 runs. There have been four winning run chases bigger than this in Test history. So that’s against them, but for them is having Steve Smith and a decent day-four pitch and two days to play. With the time in hand and the good weather, the draw will be impossible. So Australia will bat for a 3-1 lead, and England will bowl to tie the series 2-2 and spoil the party.

11.20am BST11:20

Wicket! Leach c Hazlewood b Lyon 9 (England 329 all out)

Leach couldn’t cope with Broad going past his score, clearly, and wanted to retake the lead. He goes down on one knee and tries to slog-sweep Lyon, but only gets a high top edge that swirls before settling with mid-on.

11.18am BST11:18

95th over: England 329-9 (Leach 9, Broad 12) Cummins to Broad… and he nails him! Broad nails Cummins, I mean! The backaway swat shot connects at the third attempt, and connects well. Broad was waiting for it, camped back like a baseballer, didn’t even think about getting forward. Bat over the shoulder in his backlift, then follows through. Siddle at deep midwicket thinks he’s in the hunt, but it sails over his head for six.

So Cummins bowls short again, and Broad misses. And again, and Broad misses. This is the stupidest bowling I have ever seen. Broad is stepping almost off the cut strip. All Cummins has to do is bowl at the stumps: fast ball, slower ball, whatever. There’s no way Broad is carving the yorker off his middle stump behind point for four.

So what does Cummins do? Bowls short and gets hit for six more. Even straighter over midwicket this time, Siddle running around to no avail. Steve Smith was at long stop for that ball, right behind Tim Paine on the boundary. Then Paine calls Smith up, and Cummins bowls a length ball that goes over middle stump. What.

11.11am BST11:11

94th over: England 317-9 (Leach 9, Broad 0) Leach looks pretty good this morning, dipping his knees and driving to point but not beating the field. He’s not shabby with the blade. Knocks a ball to leg side, then gets a little leading edge behind point, but can’t find a run from the over. Broad will have to face Cummins again.

11.10am BST11:10

93rd over: England 317-9 (Leach 9, Broad 0) Out comes Stuart Broad, who of course made a Test hundred once but rather lost his enthusiasm for batting and is now all the way down at 11. Unsurprisingly he gets three short balls from Cummins, the first of which he blocks, and the latter two he backs away and swipes at and misses. He has his way.

11.07am BST11:07

Wicket! Archer c Paine b Cummins 3 (England 317-9)

Tim Paine gets a review right! Ah, mercy! Ah, blessings! The Oval can do amazing things. The Oval is where Shane Watson overturned an lbw on review in 2013. Now Paine gets one! A glove down the leg side from Archer, just a tiny touch. Umpire says no. Computer says yes. Paine was very confident. That’s the sort of call that a wicketkeeper might know more about than an lbw. Early breakthrough for the Aussies, who will be mighty relieved. Archer doesn’t think he hit it. Like Warner in the first innings, it’s not conclusive on the vision but there’s a tiny spike on the Snickometer.

Updated at 11.08am BST

11.05am BST11:05

92nd over: England 317-8 (Archer 3, Leach 9) Hello all, thanks JP. Well, here we are! Glorious sun again, the classic London autumn. Perhaps the last day of this series, though Surrey will be desperately hoping that their sold-out fifth day goes ahead. Jerusalem over the loudspeakers. Erasmus and Dharmasena to the middle. Huge cheers for Jack Leach and Jofra Archer. Nathan Lyon starting with the ball, and Jack Leach carves him through cover for four!

10.58am BST10:58

Jonathan Howcroft

Geoff Lemon is whirling his arms over down at fine-leg trying to get my attention so I shall toss him the ball and doff my cap to you all. Hopefully we’ll reconvene tomorrow for something absurd, but if not, thank you for all your contributions throughout the series.

Remember: refresh your pages, redirect your tweets to @GeoffLemonSport and send your emails to [email protected].

10.53am BST10:53

Ok, let’s sharpen the focus with the restart nearing. England win, right? WinViz reckon it’s 87% likely. But we all know Steve Smith’s going to do something preposterous don’t we, one final hit. Are we coming back tomorrow? Or is this it? Our summer dalliance fading with the weak autumn sunshine…

10.43am BST10:43

Derek Stocker must be unique, surely, a Zimbabwe supporter in Bulgaria. Anyway, he’s sent an email. “I am a Zim supporter but rooting for England. I hope today is the day the Teddy Bear does not come to the picnic. No doubt about Warner’s talent and, I do have sympathy for him. I just imagine him going really big today. I hope my vision disappears to where it came from.” It would be remarkable for such a talented player not to have at least one knock in a five-Test series, wouldn’t it? Maybe the bit of needle that’s crept into the contest is what he’s needed?

10.39am BST10:39

The music bug is catching. Ian Forth is the latest to join in with a quite excellent summer mixtape.

“1. Australians in Europe by The Fall. By way of an overture. 2. Midnight in a Perfect World by DJ Shadow. For those tuning in down under. 3. Heart Cooks Brain by Modest Mouse. Slightly misguided bumper sticker tribute to the previous England captain’s strategic capabilities. 4. Monty Got A Raw Deal by REM. For those who think there should have been room for Monty and Swanny in the same side. 5. At Home He’s A Tourist by Gang Of Four. For KP. 6. Why Won’t They Talk To Me by Tame Impala. Also for KP. 7. The First Cut Is The Deepest by PP Arnold. For Joe Root. 8. I Just Get Caught Out by The Go Betweens. For every batsman in this series other than Smith. 9. I’m Stranded by The Saints. For Jos Buttler. 10. I Know It’s Over by The Smiths. For all of us, very soon. (Also for grumpy bowlers who’ve just had their appeal turned down off the last ball). 11. Ashes to Ashes by Bowie. Because it’s never really over, is it?”

I’m only linking to The Fall for now, but there are plenty of bangers in that batting order.

Updated at 10.45am BST

10.32am BST10:32

Ben Stokes has occupied centre stage for most of this summer but when it was time to take his bow at the Oval it arrived in subdued fashion. Ali Martin has more.

When a drowsy Oval crowd offered Stokes the polite applause that a score of 67 might usually merit, a chance to thank the all-rounder for his efforts during this epic home season felt slightly missed.

Stokes, unable to bowl in this Test and thus with just fielding left on the to-do list, has hit a new level as a batsman this year; the responsibility that some feared may be shackling his game before the World Cup has paid out some serious jackpots since.

10.28am BST10:28

Joe Denly’s runs yesterday were good for Joe Denly, but they were also handy for England selector Ed Smith, as Barney Ronay reports.

Of all the new picks during the last 18 months Denly has perhaps been the most thoroughly Smith-flavoured, albeit not for the reasons some have assumed. One former Kent player laughed out loud at the idea Smith might pick his former teammate out of ties of matey loyalty. The response, in essence: if you think that, you obviously don’t know Ed Smith very well – with the suggestion good old Joe from Canterbury is unlikely to figure too prominently in Smith’s list of vital VIP personages to please at all costs.

10.25am BST10:25

David Gaskell has identified the particular grade of salt to pour onto Australian wounds. “We have not had an imperious innings from Stuart Broad for some time. If memory serves me rightly, he did annoy and frustrate the opposition from time to time. Why not today? A handy thirty or so whilst the Boycott maxi- me that is Jack Leach blocks like a factor 50 on the French Riviera.”

10.24am BST10:24

As Emma John writes, it has been an extraordinary summer of cricket.

But for England fans, the best-case scenario of a two-all draw scarcely seemed a reason to put the Moët on ice, not after a summer that had given us so many champagne moments already. We’d been spoiled for storylines and the realisation that the Ashes weren’t coming home – and England could still finish on the pointy end of a 3-1 scoreline – was as deflating as sitting through seven series of your favourite TV show only to discover that Bran Stark had won the Game of Thrones. (Still not over that, no.)

10.19am BST10:19

Gary Naylor (@garynaylor999)

There’s been a lot of ordinary cricket in this Test – minds are tired – but it’s still a good Test @JPHowcroft. My irrefutable proof is that, on the fourth morning, at 9.30, the touts outside were buying tickets.

September 15, 2019

Ah, the cry of “Any tickets, buy or sell” accompanied by the smell of police horse poo and the sight of a man dribbling meat pie down his front. You can’t beat a major sporting event.

10.13am BST10:13

Kim Thonger, I shall miss your morning emails when this series is over. “If ‘It’s Coming Home’ doesn’t describe England fan feelings this weekend, perhaps this does, Dark Black by Kristina Train. I’ve been saving it for my funeral, but do ‘enjoy’ today as an Ashes farewell…

“I remember colors painted in my eyes Green was for the springtime, blue the summer skies And now the skies have darkened, the white clouds turn to grey What a way to break a heart, you took all the colors away Dark black is the color of my life Since you’ve been gone Since you’ve been gone Oh if you come back Make my whole world bright Since you’ve been gone Dark black is the color of my life”

10.10am BST10:10

Want to know the match situation at the click of a mouse/button/screen/trackpad? Well, fear not, because Vic Marks is all you need.

The lead stands at 382 with two fragile wickets remaining. It should be enough for England – if they can get Smith out.

9.49am BST09:49

Preamble

Jonathan Howcroft

Hello everybody and welcome to live OBO coverage of day four of the fifth Ashes Test from the Oval.

It’s coming home, it’s coming home, it’s coming! What? Speak up a bit. It isn’t!? A shared series means Australia retain the Ashes? Oh well…

The destination of the urn may have already been determined before battle commenced in south London but England turning in their most complete performance of the series so far is a welcome sight nonetheless for the majority of patrons inside a packed Oval. A strong day in the field on Friday was backed up by some refreshingly competent batting on Saturday to guide the hosts into a commanding position. It would take a Stokesian feat of escapology for Australia to wriggle free of their current predicament.

Joe Denly has hogged the morning headlines, and most likely another series at the top of England’s batting order, with his slow-burn series ending in impressive fashion. His obduracy, following on from Sam Curran’s tenacity with the ball, have given England a steelier edge, much to Australia’s dissatisfaction. For the first time during this long old tour of theirs they have looked tetchy, bordering on rattled, and ready for the next Qantas home.

Whether they do so as jubilant series winners or content urn retainers will depend on how they occupy the crease over the next couple of days. We know with Steve Smith anything is possible…

I’m around for the hour leading up to play, after which it’s over to Geoff Lemon. Please keep me company during this prelude, either on Twitter @JPHowcroft or by sending an email to [email protected].

Updated at 9.51am BST

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Tyson Fury defeats Otto Wallin by unanimous decision – live! | Sport

6.12am BST06:12

Tyson Fury wins by unanimous decision over Otto Wallin!

Fury wins a unanimous decision by scores of 116-112, 117-111 and 118-110. High drama on a wild night in Las Vegas but the outcome everyone expected in the end.

Tyson Fury lands a punch on Otto Wallin. Photograph: Steve Marcus/Reuters

6.10am BST06:10

Round 12

Wallin lands a big left hand early in the round. And he’s hurt Fury! Fury is hurt against the run of play and he’s holding on! Wallin landing punches and taking his shot. The cut is bleeding badly again, streaming blood down the right side of his face. Fury is backing up, pawing at the wound. Wallin is letting his hands go. Another short hook by Wallin! He’s timing Fury for another big left … can he land it? And there’s the final bell! What a fight! It should be a clear decision for Fury, but let’s hang around for the official scores just in case.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 9-10 Wallin (Fury 116-112 Wallin)

6.06am BST06:06

Round 11

Fury is picking away at his opponent from bell to bell in total command of the action. Then at the end of the round Fury lands a massive left hand to the body that badly hurts Wallin. He’s saved by the bell.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 107-102 Wallin)

6.01am BST06:01

Round 10

Fury races from the corner and opens up with a furious combination of a dozen punches upstairs. Wallin tries to hold on but Fury leans down on him. Fury going for the knockout! Wallin looks like he’s ready to go! His face is swollen and a trickle of blood is coming from his nose. Fury lands a punishing left to the liver with Wallin up against the ropes. Can Wallin make it out of the round? Wallin is trapped in the corner and is completely exhausted. Fury is teeing off. Wallin fighting back in spots but this is one-way traffic.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 97-93 Wallin)

Updated at 6.01am BST

5.58am BST05:58

Round 9

Wallin has all but abandoned the body attack that was working so well for him early on. Fury lands a big right, then backs Wallin up with a body shot. The cut over Fury’s right eye has opened up and is gushing blood, but Wallin’s punches have nothing on then. If feels like a race against time. Fury lands a hard uppercut in the center of the ring and backs his man up. Then Fury hurts Wallin badly with a left uppercut with seconds left in the round and the Swede seems to have been saved by the bell.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 87-84 Wallin)

5.54am BST05:54

Round 8

Fury’s pressure is changing the tenor of the proceedings. He lands two crunching shots to the body. A great uppercut by Fury. Now Fury continues to impose himself, leaning down on Wallin against the ropes. He’s bleeding badly but he’s landing more frequently and with the harder shots. This is another easy round for Fury, who is pouring on the punishment. CompuBox says Fury landed 23 of 63 shots, compared to nine of 28 for Wallin.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 77-75 Wallin)

Updated at 5.55am BST

5.51am BST05:51

Round 7

Fury springs from the corner with half a jar of Vaseline on his right eye looking for a knockout early in the seventh. A renewed sense of urgency for the bigger man. He’s throwing and landing more and physically imposing himself on his opponent. Wallin is taking Fury’s best shots but it’s midway through the round and he looks gassed. The Swede’s eye is also beginning to swell. A big Fury round.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 67-66 Wallin)

5.47am BST05:47

Round 6

It’s a good round for Wallin and Fury looks out of sorts. Referee Tony Weeks stops the action and asks the ringside physician to take a look at the cut. Oh boy. This could be it. Fury insists he can see and the fight will continue. Fury then springs off the ropes and unloads with a barrage of punches upstairs. Fury is now fighting with urgency but that cut is getting worse and worse. And right at the end of the round Wallin appeared to thumb at the cut when being separated off the break! Oh wow! He raked his glove across the gash. It’s a deliberate foul and Fury looks both angry and surprised. That was filthy.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 9-10 Wallin (Fury 57-57 Wallin)

5.42am BST05:42

Round 5

Looks like there’s another cut on Fury’s eye: one on the brow and another on the eyelid. Wallin is fearless and in pursuit of Fury, but Fury is doing just enough to win the exchanges. He lands a couple of good uppercuts and it’s enough to take the round on my card. CompuBox says Wallin is connecting with an average of 10 punches per round, nearly double what Fury’s last nine opponents managed to land.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 48-47 Wallin)

5.39am BST05:39

Round 4

Fury is bleeding badly. The blood is getting in his eye and he keeps wiping at it. Wallin is targeting the gash. Fury is upset, chirping at his opponent. Wallin showing no fear. High drama. Fury doesn’t seem right and there could be a surprise in the offing. Fury has landed 39 of 160 punches so far, compared to 42 of 110 for Wallin. Fury’s corner seem to think the cut was due to a clash of heads earlier in the rounds. Oh boy.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 9-10 Wallin (Fury 38-38 Wallin)

5.35am BST05:35

Round 3

Fury is using feints to try and set traps and create openings. He lands a hard right. Fury now landing a couple of hard shots upstairs. And Wallin lands a clean left hand on Fury’s right eye that opens up a cut. And it’s a bad one. After the round it’s confirmed the Nevada state commission has seen it that way, too. That means if the fight is stopped due to the cut, Wallin will be declared the winner by TKO. High drama!

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 29-28 Wallin)

5.29am BST05:29

Round 2

A crisp combination of body shots by Wallin early in the second round. Fury answers with a right hand and switches to a southpaw stance like he’s done in his recent fights. Wallin traps Wallin in a neutral corner and throws a bunch of shots to the body, some of which land cleanly. But Fury springs off the ropes and buzzes Wallin with a right hand. Another right hand to Wallin’s temple at the end of the round. Fury is starting to find his range and tempo and he’s getting the right hand going.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 10-9 Wallin (Fury 19-19 Wallin)

5.24am BST05:24

Round 1

Fury starts off boxing from the outside off the back foot as Wallin moves forward, trying to negotiate his way inside that rangy 85in jab. Fury is working the jab to the head and body. Wallin burrows inside and connect with a left hand to the body that draws a reaction from the crowd. Wallin is stuggling to get inside but he’s cutting distance and getting the bigger man to the ropes. Quite an uneventful opening round but Wallin takes it.

Guardian’s unofficial score: Fury 9-10 Wallin (Fury 9-10 Wallin)

5.18am BST05:18

Here we go. After performances of the national anthems of Sweden, the United Kingdom and the United States, it’s time for the fighter entrances. First comes Otto Wallin, who jogs to the ring in a sleeveless black robe with gold and blue trim. Now it’s Tyson Fury, wearing a poncho-style robe designed like the flag of Mexico and a large sombrero in keeping with his week-long celebration of Mexican Independence Day. Gala’s Freed from Desire is playing throughout the T-Mobile Arena as Fury makes his way toward the arena floor, emerging from the tunnel onto a red, white and green chariot of sorts as a mariachi band plays alongside dancers and a singer belting out El Rey by Vicente Fernández. Oh boy. Jimmy Lennon Jr is going through the fighter introductions and we should be under way any minute now. We’ll pick it up with round-by-round commentary from here.

4.54am BST04:54

Emanuel Navarrete has just defended his WBO junior featherweight title with a fourth-round TKO of Juan Miguel Elorde in the final preliminary bout. The Mexico City fighter, making his second title defense in four weeks and third since May, dropped the grandson of Filipino legend Flash Elorde with one second left in the third before referee Russell Mora correctly intervened at the 0:26 mark of the fourth.

That means Fury and Wallin should be making their ringwalks imminently.

Emanuel Navarrete, right, celebrated his fourth-round stoppage of Juan Miguel Elorde on Saturday night. Photograph: Isaac Brekken/AP

4.28am BST04:28

Tale of the tape

Here’s a look at how Fury and Wallin match up ahead of tonight’s main event. The Swede is roughly a 10-1 underdog in the contest, a nod to Fury’s superior class of competition as much as his reach and height advantages.

Fury v Wallin

4.17am BST04:17

Jose Zepeda has just won a unanimous decision over former two-division champion Jose Pedraza to spoil Pedraza’s junior welterweight debut. All three judges scored it 97-93 for the California southpaw, as did the Guardian. The final undercard fight of the evening is next as WBO junior featherweight world champion Emanuel Navarrete defends his title against Juan Miguel Elorde. After that, Fury and Wallin will make their entrances.

Jose Zepeda, right, defeated Jose Pedraza in a 10-round junior welterweight bout on Saturday’s undercard. Photograph: Étienne Laurent/EPA

3.57am BST03:57

Preamble

Good evening and welcome to tonight’s heavyweight showdown between Tyson Fury and Otto Wallin at T-Mobile Arena. The Gypsy King is back in action on the Las Vegas strip for the second time in four months following a June blowout of no-hoper Tom Schwarz at the MGM Grand in the first fight of his newly signed co-promotional deal with Top Rank. The unheralded Wallin, who is unbeaten in 21 professional fights against mostly unknown opposition, isn’t expected to put up much more in the way of resistance. But everyone’s a dreamer after Andy Ruiz Jr’s shock upset of Anthony Joshua earlier this year and the stout Swede would like nothing more than to stir up the echoes of Ingemar Johansson and spoil Fury’s plans of a rematch with Deontay Wilder that’s already been penciled in for early next year.

Fury (28-0-1, 20 KOs) ended Wladimir Klitschko’s decade-long title reign with a dull but effective display in Germany four years ago, only to surrender all the belts during a 31-month layoff where he underwent a public bout with mental illness and ballooned from 260lbs to nearly 400lbs. These days the official titles at heavyweight belong to Wilder, who’s owned the WBC’s version of the championship since 2015, and Ruiz Jr, who captured the WBA, WBO and IBF straps from Joshua. Yet one could argue Fury’s claim to the mantle of world’s best heavyweight is purest as the lineal champion: the so-called man who beat the man who beat the man.

Tonight marks Fury’s fifth “defense” of that nominal title he won from Klitschko and he’s down to his lightest weight since that night in Düsseldorf, coming in at 254.4lbs at yesterday’s weigh-in. That’s down from 263.5lbs against Schwarz in June, 256.5lbs against Wilder in December, 258lbs against Francisco Pianeta last August and 276lbs against Sefer Seferi in June 2018 in his comeback fight.

Wallin (20-0 with 1 NC, 13 KOs) has had a quite an up-and-down time of it during his brief time in America. Showtime was trying to build him up earlier in the year as a potential opponent for Wilder, slating him in the co-feature of the Claressa Shields-Christina Hammer card in Atlantic City, but he was forced to settle for a no-contest in his US debut after opponent Nick Kisner suffered a cut from an accidental clash of heads in the first round of their scheduled 10-rounder. Then a July date with gatekeeper BJ Flores was scuttled on the day of the fight when it was revealed Flores was denied a license after medical tests. But what appeared to be a hard-luck year for Wallin turned around in a hurry when he was given a shot at Fury. Whether the opportunity has come too soon for the Swedish prospect, who’s never been in with an opponent of Fury’s class, remains to be seen.

The fighters should make their ringwalks about an hour from now. Plenty more to come between now and then.

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