#csnt even explain how much this made me cry | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dottores · 2 years

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I JUST READ THE CHALTWR SMD IM 🤭🤭🤭🤭 had to try so hard not to moan 😔💔💔 anyways BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP I’m gonna tell you what i think 🤭🤭

splitting it again bc it makes it a lot easier n feels more organized ig? so yeah !!

listen ik i talk a lot about the way you present the characters but i can’t oh my god i csnt stop. i’ll start off with ran again n i hope it won’t be too long so !! there’s so much to say about the past part i was not okay i was about to scream and throw up and cry why would you do that to me 💔💔 i’ve noticed you always describe rans words as sharp and sometimes even loud and when i talk ab rin i’ll mention the difference and how important i think it is 🤭🤭 not only do i think it’s extremely fitting, but that one word always sets the mood and pace for the next few paragraphs at least if h get what i mean. throughout the majority of tjr chapters, rans tone is being presented as very..asserting? i guess? and it’s such a small smalll tiny detail but it does wonders for, not only his character and character development, but also for understanding him and rins AND him and yns relationship. a lot of the time his sharp tone isn’t even menacing, it’s more grounding and in some situations, asserting. i think someone else mentioned how ran is big on eye contact snd i think that this AND the eye contact thing is jusy so… intimate idk how else to explain it. yn is always shying away from their gazes but also their words and i think tnst ran using a more firm tone in situations where yn may be a little…yk unwell or overstimulated is so beautiful to read idk i love it im just 🤭🤭🤭💗💗💗💗 and oh my gof in this chapter… when the roles were reversed and it was ran being unable to meet her eyes, ran holding his tongue because and not even being able to speak, ran being more vulnerable and emotional than we’ve ever seen him… i cant i had to stop reading for a second i jsut,, the roles being reversed was so interesting snd i didn’t expect it AT ALLL. and the way he made her promise??? i love that ran is big on eye contact and yk yn using her words bc that’s EXACTLY HOW I SEE HIM AND I LOVE THSY YOU WRIYE HIM THIS WAY !! wanna give you a kiss for showing us a more vulnerable side of him im screaming oh my god…

that’s enough of ran for now idw it to b too long 💔💔 BUT oh my FUCKING GOD the way you reversed the roles between ran and yn, RIGJT SFTER DOING TJR SAME W RSN SND RIN?? i’m so used to seeing the words “sharp” and “hissed” being used with ran i had to do a double take n reread the paragraph to make sure it was rin you were talking about. this definitely counts as cjaracter development to me and it was so beautifully done i can’t even think of a better way for that scene to have been depicted tbh. rindou has always been the more shy? and just generally softer one between the two (at least with yn 🤭🤭) so seeing tnst drastic change and watching HIM get fed up was so insane i never knew i needed it tnst bad. i don’t think ive ever really talked about rin much but god i love how you write him so much i csnt think of anyone tnst writes the brothers as well as you im jsut.. oh my god. i love the way you emphasize the tone they’re using but it’s done in such a smooth way idk how to explain it but i hope you get what i mean 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ “rindous voice was sharper than it ever had been with you” and “help us understand, we want to understand” give me a moment i’m going to sob i csnt do this rn. he sounds so desperate and so fed up at the same time and idk if that’s what you were going for but it completely changed the mood for the entire past bit and made it so much more emotional (to me at least 🤭) it’s just so heartbreaking i had to stop AGAIN you can’t keep doing this to me cat i’m going to cry soon. the scene where rindou and yn were arguing and when she mentioned her uncle yk the bit, every single one of yns dialogues ended so abruptly because rindou cut her off every single time and oh my god… i cannot do this it’s far too late for this why would you do that. it adds to the mood but also the pacing i said this last time but holy fuck your pacing is absolutely amazing reading your works is always just the best because you know how to set a mood, and how to make sure it matches the pace and it just goes together so well if that makes sense i can’t find the words atm but whatever. both yn and rindou were so desperate in that scene but their desperation was written in different ways and i csmt even begin to find the words to tell you how fucking impressive tnst is?? you wrote?? two desperate people??? arguing??? but both of them??? we’re desperate in completely different ways??? OH TKDJISNAISHISZ i absolutely admire the little details in your writing i csnt fo this. before i move on from characters and thei developments (i barely wroye ab the development im sorry sob 💔💔💔💔 but jsut know tnst i haven’t read any pieces, in any fandom, that had character development as good as yours, i’ll talk ab it next time tho 💗🫶🏼) i said i was also going to mention the differences in rsn and rindous way of speech. i already said ran has a sharper and more firm and asserting tone, whereas rindou is a lot more soft spoken (especially w yn) and not as assertive as ran is. alone it’s already great but seeing you wriye them both TOGETHER AND reversing their roles is nothing short of impressive i’m absolute and completely in awe of your understanding of them and, not just their separate personalities, but also their personalities TOGETHER and with yn.

anyways moving on !! i wanted to mention your use of analogies involving the sky and weight. it’s repeated in many chapters and in different ways based on the context, but it’s so??? effective?? like it adds so much to the story but also to our understanding of the characters ESPECIALLY yn seeing as it is used on her the most i’ve noticed. i’ll never stop talking ab how much i love that you didn’t just forget about yn but you continue to build and develop her ever chapter it’s so refreshing i love it.

i won’t speak about pacing on its own because i think that i mentioned it a lot in the other bits but AAGIN YOUR USE OF REPETITION IS SO SOOSOSOSOS BEAUTIFUL and well placed and just genuinely perfect to me. it says eitjer slows everythint down or speeds it up or does both and makes me dizzy (in a good way 💗💗) but either way it’s so perfect, especially here with the repetition AND the bold font to emphasize certain phrases. it doesn’t just emphasize it, it changes the tone and has you reading the repeated phrase differently snd it changes so much if you get what i mean. speaking of repetition actuslly, the sky thing isn’t the only thing you repeat in chapters,, the paragraph about how her uncle said smth sb jump starting and all that you knwo the one, everytime you repeat something ESPECIALLY IF ITD IN ANOTJER CHAOTER, it jsut adds so much to it like the way i read it, it almost sounds like she’s trying to remind herself and using tnst as justification for her actions so the guilt doesn’t get to her snd tnst desperation is fucking doubled everytime its repeated THIS MIGJG NOT MSKE SENSE BC ITS LIGERSLLY 4 AM HERE BUJT WHSTEVER ITS OKAY 🤭🤭

last thing !! the way you subtly mention characters is so cool like, izana was barely mentioned in tnst one chapter. all you said was his hair was white and his eyes were purple and then boom he ends up being one of the most impoetstn characters for both yn and the entire stories development. you briefly mentioned mikey in a similar way at one point as well and it’s been fucking my head up bc i’m trying to figure out if ur doing it again cat please stop playing with my head i am gonna pass out 🙏🙏 ALSO hanma bring mentioned at the end of this chapter made me giggle a little bit bc k hate him but i don’t but i really do but i love the way you write him and i want him to come back im waiting on hanma to make an appearance so i can actuslly talk ab him cuz i love the sys you write him. OH AND the quick change in mood between the past and present bits had my head reeling i loved it 🤭🤭

ANYWAYS THIS IS SOSOSOEHODJS LONG but ig it sort of makes up for the fact that i LIGERSLLY DIDNT WRITE SNYTBINT FOR THE KASY CHAOTWR even tho it’s one of my faves so far but it’s okay. IM SORRU ITS SO LONG BUT HESH POINT IS LDA IS SOSJOWHSJSKSDNJSIAJZKANSKSJZ🤭🤭🤭💗💗💔💔💔💔💔💔🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼💓💓💓💓💓👍😔😔😔😔😔😔😔😔🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 if you get what i mean :p y never disappoint and k was actuslly do stressed cuz i have school again tomorrow and idw go but you made my night i can sleep well now thanks 🤭🤭

ANYWYS BYE BYE ILY 💋💋🤭🤭🤭

SOBS I DONT THINJ ILL EVER BE ABLE TO CONVEY ENOUGH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU 🥹 DONT EVER APOLOGIZE FOR IT BEINF LONG I SWEAR IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY EVERY TUME no bc deadass :((( i literally cried when i read this ask, and i read it like 40 times. i dont even know where to start sobs you literally catch all of the little things i put in there and hope that ppl will catch -- like the switch up with rindou, and the brief appearance of izana who ended up being a huge character. AND THE WAY RAN ACTS WITH READER. YES. OMG. HE IS ONE HUNDRED PERCENT ASSERTIVE LIKE THAT AS A WAY TO KEEP HER GROUNDED AND PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM OTHERWISE HE KNOWS DAMN WELL THAT SHE'LL EITHER TRY TO SLIP AWAY OR CHANGE THE SUBJECT OR EVEN WHEN SHE'S JUST GETTING OVERWHELMED.

AND RINDOU'S SWITCH UP IN THE AIRPORT DUDE. i had so much fun writing that bc he had always been the one shielding her from ran when they were younger bc ran would lose his temper and get snappy with her. like not only was it jarring for HER but honestly it was jarring for me to write bc i was so used to having him being the mediator between the two of them.

omg the analogies with the sky/atlas is some of my favorite parts to add in there bc she rlly does feel like the whole weight of the world is on her shoulder, and her and izana had been so big on different types of mythologies that thinking back to it and relating the pressure on her to myths that they had talked about is honestly kind of a comfort for her, if it makes sense.

AND YES omg the repetition with the mention of the uncle is 100% her trying to (1) justify to herself what she was doing and (2) convince herself that it was the only viable choice.

hanma. hehe.

#my asks #series: little dark age

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beexle · 3 years

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why was no one home, someone should have been home it wouldve been so much better, i csnt prove this rabbits real, i cant prove mums real either but humans always bring it back

this was the second dream ive ever had about dying. the first was when i was younger than ten and it was from snakebite when i was down in a grove under a willow tree. i dreamt that afterwards i went to this white classroom type place with lots and lots of other sad children but who had given up. we were to learn from god in these tiny desks but i didnt and i begged him and pleaded to be able to see mum again and he said yes begrudgingly. but when i did see mum she couldnt see or hear me or feel me. and i clung to her and cried snd told her i was so sorry but she couldnt hear me and she just sobbed.

this time it was at this kind of retirement village/caravan park and me and jae and a bunch of her friends were staying there. mum and dad were also there, but in a different house and younger and different looking with the same personalities. and mum had had twins. i wanted so desperately to look after the twins so desperately and i did get to hold one breifly. it was so nice to look after a baby and he was so smart too. we did the tipping upside down thing and he loved it and then he vommed a little bit, and instead of wiping it i leaned over and he just spat it out. we were also painting at some point and he knew what to do with brushes even tho he was Baby. but the cousins were there too and i got just such a distinct radiance of hatred from them and they did Not want me to be there.

so i left and then along the way my more real mum wanted me to explain being nonbinary to this hippy and another like religious guy and they didnt really care they just wanted to snicker at me, which didnt feel great. went to where jae was and at first it was just bella she was staying with. and then it was bella and bellas boyfriend, who was that like dick from some tv show or other. way too cocky and fake friendly and mean. i feel like there was some kind of softer meeting in between but the next thing i remember is him getting jae to do something for him- ohh it was from feel good. and at some point bella turned into the terrible straight girl who was his girlfriend. but anyway jae was like tying something for him and he was facing straight towards her and apparently his dick was really hard abd pointing at her and it made me so ugly twisting jealous and so i tried to lay my head in her lap and she sighed but also did a bit of the soft 'youre cute' smile at me but the dude made a disgruntled noise cos id made him soft. so he turned to his girlfriend and started fucking her but i felt bad and moved away from jae and she started fucking herself with two dildos and i felt so sad and out of place and there were people and children from all over the campsite just staring. so i ran. and i ran so well, i jumped over like whole sets of stairs and i climbed piles and piles of empty plastic containers bigger than me. and i dunno if it was relavant but id know that i knew how to do it because evie had done it in the past while i was chasing her. there were like cracks behind walls and really tall buildings and seriously it was impressive. i jumped garden beds and ducked under shrubs and i knew they were chasing me. eventually i got to this plastic kids playground and i hid down the middle of the slide like you can if you put your feet up. the people had a black van and they surrounded me exept it was meant to be jae and the not-bella and her boyfriend but it was a bunch of dudes wearing black and the main one was this asian guy who knew to leave me alone and just make sure i wasnt alone. it felt a bit gratifying that they were there but it wasnt jae and i really wanted to be alone.

so i ran again, and this time behind houses so they couldnt get the car there and i found this cliff, very deserted, a part of the place i hadnt been before, and it had three ladders maybe, a wooden one, a rope bridge only attached on one side so it just dangled down the cliff and like a paddlepop stick thing. i took the wooden ladder and i did the cool slidey thing that firemen do, slowing myself down every now and then. it had pretty ivy all over it and looked out over this wide valley full of trees and i was starting to feel better. there was even like this castle halfway down the cliff i was gonna try to get to. i slid to the end of the ladder and by chance stopped myself on the last rung. the ladder was finished but there was still more than half the cliff left. the castle was above me though, so i tried to switch from my ladder to the one attached to the castle but you know the thing ladders do when there arent knots in the rope? where the wood just slides doen if you try to climb? well it was doing that and i couldnt switch and i was getting tired and i decided to just see what happened. i knew id die but i didnt tell myself that i said if i live i live if i die i die. and so i fell and it felt free and all the things ive imagined it might. and then numb. and then like i was waking up and i thought i might be in a coma but i wasnt. i was dead and i remembered that my great aunt or another mum had died from eating too much sugar and it had felt like this. i wound up at a bar where the people in black who had been chasing me were and it turned out they were dead (does that mean i was already seeing dead people before i died?) they had been dead for a while they knew how it worked. apparently to stay in this world you had to consume stuff from it so the asian guy was drinking a blue cocktail. i found jae and held her and said i was sorry because i really really had wanted to spend my life with her. i said it was the second worst thing i regretted, meaning noah first. no one else could see me and i didnt really care about them just her. annnnd i was crying and sad and didnt want to be dead and then i woke up.

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