#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

i dont go here so i have absolutely 0 (zero) stake in this but i follow two different people who post about genshin impact. again, i dont go here, i followed them for other content but theyre both on a genshin streak.

so anyway theres a pair(ship?) in genshin impact. one of them swears up down and sideways that the pair are “brothers” while the other one swears that theyre “sworn brothers” and uh

which one is it??????

genshin is made by a chinese developer yeah? “brother” and “sworn brother” mean completely different things. im watchin this go down from my window with a bowl of popcorn and all the people pilin on in the notes only serve to confuse me more.

is this a translation issue????? did westerners see the words “sworn brother” and misinterpret it? are they actually brothers?????? this info dont matter a lick to me since i couldnt care less but i noticed it poppin up recently

#crowsas speaks #tbf sworn siblings is a concept that rarely if ever shows up in the west so i get why people can misinterpret it but like #which is it #genshin impact

[madoumonogatarirunelord]

Swear TW

Meet the family!!! We have:

Runelord, an actual canon character who is done with Tumblr's bullshit.

Runelord: "I believe that sums things up rather well."

Crowsa, Runelord's #1 hater who may or may not be a cannibalistic freak (he also uses Google Translate).

Crowsa: "THAT IS NO WAY TO SPEAK OF YOUR PRINCE!"

Void, a fucking asshole.

Void: "Well fuck you too!"

Null, trauma bean (He's a fucked up eldritch abomination sealed inside of a humanoid body), such a lil silly!!!

Null: "I'm what n-now?"

#puyo puyo #madou monogatari #madou monogatari runelord #null puyo puyo #null (oc) #void puyo puyo #void (oc) #crowsa rana #crowsa (oc) #crowsa puyo puyo

[crowsent]

vampire/human romances are always so damn tragic. its the knowledge that you will outlive someone and carry the memory of their ghost until you turn to ashes but being too weak to stay away. its about being selfish enough to want to keep someone but not enough to turn them in case either of you regrets the choice. its watching the world pass by while you sit and stare at your ceiling when you realise youve forgotten what their face looks like. its the knowledge that you look human and act human but theres something fundamentally different about you that makes you question if you even qualify as a person anymore, but then seein the way they look at you and decidin that none of it matters

#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

i drank a bunch of wine, might be drunk, might be brimmin with creative energy like dionysus descended from the heavens to possess my hands but either way this is yalls problem now. for some fuckin reason, i keep comparin someone to summer rain in my head.

not summer. because summer is hot and its unbearable in the worst way possible and i cant exist in summer without suffering. i cant leave the house without bein rendered blind. cant even breathe the air without feelin like someone built a station in my lungs and crammed a bunch of trains in. people keep talkin bout how beautiful it is how the sun shines or whatever the fuck but its jus miserable for me so not summer

not jus rain either. rain is better bc its cool and pretty and the scent calms me down but not jus rain. jus rain is common n plain n simple n theres nothin special about it aside from the fact that i remember when i got stranded in elementary durin a rainstorm n i went back home w my uniform drippin enough water to flood a desert bc this person is special n not simple n its a much more pleasant feelin than tryin to hide under an umbrella that breaks from the weight of the storm

but like summer rain specifically. i have no fuckin idea why. no idea why im comparin a person to fuckin summer rain but like. its there n it feels right yknow? like it cools down hot days and darkens the sun enough that i can go outside n see why the fuck people like summer so much. but its not jus endless rain that ruins your fuckin uniform for three days while you desperately try to get the stench of day old water out from the fabric either

everyone fuckin knows about my photophobia at this point i never shut the fuck up about it and summer rain negates that for me. i can go outside in the middle of the day and still smell the sun lingerin in the air but i can still breathe. its like hearin about this thing that everyone else seems to experience jus fuckin fine but you cant. n then this thing comes along n you have the opportunity to experience it now. not the same way everyone else does but that jus kinda adds to the magic of it like its somethin the world snapped its ankles over jus for you

n that feelin is a person n the thought that this feelin is a person wont leave my damn head n its full n its its burstin w a neon no vacancy sign but it jus keeps rainin n i stay outside the house bc i dont want the rain to stop jus yet

#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

is this what lovin a rarepair feels like????? scrollin through ao3 desperate for somethin good and continuin to read a fic even when the author apparently forgot punctuations exist?????? is this what it feels???? this curse????? of wantin somethin you can never have??????? how do yall consistent rarepair shippers take this??????????

#i ship 1 rarepair and im in hell #how tf do yall manage with multiple rarepairs???? #do yall jus starve????????????? #this is a fuckin torture method smh #crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

i ate NOTHIN but a single cup of instant ramen today but ladies and gentlemen i am EYEIN rimworld on steam rn. im givin that motherfucker HEART EYES. im about to compose a 1.5k letter to its parents askin for the PRIVILEGE of takin it out on a date in a 5-star italian restaurant i can NEVER afford. im about to fuckin steal from a batshit cursed prince with the emotional regulation of a toddler for the finest rose in the land so that it may turn its fleetin gaze upon me for even a single moment

#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

eyyo i woke up from a quick nap and suddenly theres a fucking gunfight in my neighbourhood and my next door neighbour got shot how yall doin

#crowsas speaks #i did NOT want to wake up to this man #i finally dozed off after almost a full day of being awake and this is what i get?????

[crowsent]

can someone please explain to me why and how smut writers do character development better than literally any other kind of writer because i came to this fic looking to relax after watching a horror film but like

psychology. neurology. biology. the nature of human beings. the purpose of life. deceit and manipulation and the inherent capacity of human beings for both good and evil. morality. philosophy. trauma. mind games.

i got ALL this shit. ALL of it.

and i got it in beautiful prose, poignant dialogue, perfect pacing. i got it with excellent characterisation, so accurate that for a moment, i wasnt reading this fic, i was LIVING it. i was seeing everything unfold before my very eyes. i was just as clueless as the characters when they were being puppeteered, i was just as furious during that confrontation scene, i fucking CRIED during the reconciliation scene when they stood on the bridge they first met.

its 30k words of perfection.

i was strung along and loved every minute of it. i didnt fucking sign up for this mystery psychological philosophical debate over good and evil i signed up for good pwp fucking but holy shit i am not complaining. i paid for a plain hamburger and i got a fucking steak lobster dinner with extra butter and a side of fries with ice cream for dessert

this author looked me in the eyes, looked at my expectations, raised an eyebrow and then raised the entire goddamn bar for smutfics. how the fuck am i supposed to read another fic after this?

where else am i going to find this level of detail, this level of character development? the witty banter, the INTENSE symbolism, the foreshadowing, the tension? in 30k words this author did what most best-selling novelists couldnt do even if they had an instruction manual

yall i have been RUINED for every other fic what the FUCK

#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

languages are fun. until youre standing in the fucking bathroom begging your father not to put your plush owl in a bucket

my father (the engineer who put wasabi on a rotisserie chicken and then announced that chickens had 4 legs, and also did not plug in the steamer when trying to cook and it took him 2 hours to realise it) knocked on the bathroom door

i was in the bathroom. because i left my bracelet there. im tearing that goddamn bathroom brick by brick because i cant find my fucking bracelet. completely forgot where i left it. ive been in there a long time. and my father knocked on the door and asked “what are you doing in the bathroom?”

and, because im filipino and none of us answer the questions given to us properly, i said, “yeah, im in the bathroom. why?” which does not answer the question he asked. which started this whole shit.

now. my choice of words here were. “yeah. nasa CR ako.” im in the bathroom.

and the word “bakit?” which is why?

now. if yall havent realised. “bakit” sounds a lot like “bucket”

and the sentence can be easily interpreted as: “yeah, im in the bathrom. bucket?”

which does not make fucking sense. but again. were filipinos. we look at logical questions and logical answers and we shove them into a canal

so my father goes “okay. ill bring you a bucket.”

which answers a question i did not even fucking ask.

so i say. “why?” as in, the english word “why?”

because hey if filipino wont work imma try english

now. if yall havent realised. “why?” sounds a lot like the colour “white” especially if you have a tagalog accent

so my father, thoroughly confused now, says “we don’t have a white bucket. but i can tell mom to buy one??”

and myself, learning nothing from my mistakes, did not say “no. we don’t need a white bucket.”

my dumb bitchass said “why do we need a white bucket?”

and the words i chose were “bakit kailanggan ng bucket.”

which. as im sure yall have realised. is a very poor fucking choice of words.

my father interpreted it as “bucket. i need a bucket” and goes and says “i can walk to a walgreens and see if they have one right now”

which is sweet. but not what i wanted.

again. instead of saying “no. i dont a bucket”

i ask him “why?”

and, of fucking course. i used the word “bakit”

so now my father, completely and utterly flabbergasted is now thinking that maybe i did not mean “bakit” as in “bucket’ thinks of something completely fucking different and goes “your owl??”

my plush owl. which i got in middle school during my peak homestuck phase.

a goddamn plush owl. that i lovingly and jokingly named “bucket”

so my father, thought that i, somehow, wanted my plush owl in a bucket in the bathroom

and i had to abandon my search for the bracelet to open the door and tell him. very clearly. that i do not want bucket in a bucket.

yes. the entire problem can be solved by me opening the door in the first place so we dont get weird reverb echo in the convo but consider: i am gay and i am stupid

unrelated to the bakit/bucket dilemma. my bracelet was in the bathtub. on the other side of the bathroom. i do not know why it is IN the tub. i do not know how it got there. i refuse to question the gods at this point

anyway how yall doin

#crowsas speaks #i need to fucking sleep more is what i need to do cause shit like this happens #yes. my plush owl is named bucket #to be fucking fair i named my potted cactus palayok #palayok means pot #i named my POTTED cactus pot #thats how i name shit

[crowsent]

SO. drivethru. right?

just drivethru starbucks because the world may fall the fuck apart around me but there is no god on this earth and no devil in hell that can keep me away from my venti java chip frappuccino with extra chips on top.

and thats all i wanted. one. singular. venti java chip frappuccino w extra chips on top. mom will get a peppermint one for my dad but thats IT. two things. TWO things.

so we pull up, and theres this car in front of us bein driven by a blonde bitch with enough karen energy she could force every other karens into submission with a single intake of breath. im talkin haircut that would disappoint god, earrings that are unnecessarily flashy, the most atrocious top i have ever seen in my life, sunglasses on a day that isnt even particularly sunny

the whole works

so karen pulls up and opens her window. out comes her face. wearing a mask. with the bottom half pushed all the fuck way up. just. exposing her entire lower jaw and mouth with disgusting pure red lipstick. there’s “hot” red and “bright” red lipstick but this bitch took the #ff000 colour hex red and smashed it onto her face.

and she orders.

loudly. i can fucking hear her with our windows closed (but of course im a nosy bitch so i roll the window down to eavesdrop).

and her order is fucking long.

like.

this bitch ordered a wholeass goddamn dinner from starbucks long. she got them croissants. them sandwiches. them desserts. drinks so specific it had instructions precise enough to summon satan with. everything. rattlin them out like she a fucking preacher reciting the word of god to the masses this bitch TALKED.

but eventually. she finished.

and we ordered.

and pulled up to the next window.

karen started getting her order.

karen got a receipt longer than gods dick.

theres a line behind us now. bc this hoe ordered for a fucking office party or some shit and karen dont give two fucks shes inspecting this goddamn receipt like it personally killed her firstborn son.

and she legit fucking inspected the drinks too like she though this starbucks employee was bout to fuckin poison her ass. (but really. i aint bout to blame em) and karen sends TWO drinks back. twice. each.

and then she looks at the receipt again.

and announces her total. loudly. still with her window down as she sticks her face in this poor worker’s face. announces it. like a fucking commentator at a roman gladiatorium.

and when the cashier repeated the total.

this bitch pulled out her wallet and. counted. out. fucking. cash.

pulled out fucking CENTS to give the exact amount to the employee. in cash and coin.

then she dropped a fucking penny.

1 cent.

a single goddamn cent.

and she refuses to pick it up because “its the cashiers fault”

and someone else had to go the fuck outside and pick that single coin up.

and then she drove away.

so thats my day so far how yall doin

#crowsas speaks #it was already bad bc the starbucks machine thingy for orders was busted so we legit had to speak to a human being but like #this woman

[crowsent]

Tagged by: @willowaudreykeyes​

RULES: Answer these 20 questions and tag 20 other bloggers you want to get to know better IF YOU WANT TO

fair warning i came back from a really really fun night. its 8am and im still sleepy as shit so

1. Name: Salt, LOSAS, or Crownonumous. not my name technically but its what im called here

2. Nicknames: NaCl, Crow-senpai (by someone on ao3 and i want you to know random commenter that the nickname is a one-shot kill. i mcfucking lost my marbles when i read that)

3. Zodiac Sign: gemini

4. Height: 5"0 even

5. Languages: in order of proficiency; tagalog, english, japanese (cant read tho), castilian spanish, french (cant pronounce it for shit tho), several others im not fluent enough to mention 

6. Nationality: asian. specifically filipino-chinese 50-50

7. Favourite Season: winter. i live in texas so its hot as balls here. ill take whatever coldness i can get

8. Favourite Flower: tie between gumamelas and sampaguitas. dunno the english name for these

9. Favourite Scent: my father burns incense. the kind found in buddhist temples with a little smokey tang to it. its not smokey enough to trigger my panic response so im like it. also fond of the smell of tea, specifically jasmine

10. Favourite Colour: navy blue

11. Favourite Animal: fav is C. macrorhynchos but only by a margin bc A. hispida is a close second. honestly i think i only like C. macrorhynchos more is bc i used to see em a lot. they are adorable babies and im sad that there arent any in america. the closest animal i get here is C. brachyrhynchos which is similar, but not quite the same. i have never seen A. hispida in person but holy shit they are v beautiful

12. Favourite Fictional Character(s): cant do that. im a fickle and capricious bastard. i dont know

13. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: hot tea with 1 tsp of honey. we have actual tea leaves in a cannister to brew. i think the ones we have rn are oolong and two different kinds of green tea

14. Average Sleep Hours: if you mean “what time do you sleep” the answer is whenever my brain gets tired bc its a heartless bitch who has never heard of consistency. if you mean “how long do you sleep” the answer is anywhere from 2 hours to 37 hours. it depends. i can function with 2 hr sleep. i can also still feel tired after 37 hours. i dont want to do math so dunno what the “average” of that is

15. Dog or cat person: i like cats more, but ive only ever had dogs. if given the choice for a pet tho id go with a snake. thamnophis or lampropeltis probably. they are ADORABLE

16. Number of Blankets You Sleep With: i dont have a blanket. i have a bedsheet i use as a blanket. bc i overheat too much

17. Dream Trip: i dont like traveling much. i hate planes, and i hate airport security even more bc they take one look at my brown ass and decide to random check me every time and that kickstarts my anxiety something fierce. but like. i wouldnt say no to a trip to the zigong museum

18. Blog Established: for my main, it was late 2018. for my side mid 2019.

19. Followers: main and side have different follower counts so

20. Random Fact: i am a pathological liar. i cannot change this. feel free to ask me if im lying to you bc *i do not notice when i lie* and i will not be offended if you ask me if im bullshitting you but thats a well known fact about me so if you want something weirder and less-known, i took art as an elective in highschool.

my teacher during 3rd and 4th year of highschool was a really chill man and a great teacher who let me submit digital artwork if our assignment allowed it. one of the digital art i turned in was of 2 visibly feminine figures dancing. romantically. its a waltz. i drew two lesbians waltzing. teacher printed it out bc he was required to, and he returned it to me when the school year was done. we have that lesbian painting in our home. my mother hung that lesbian painting in our foyer. she said that they ‘seemed like good friends’ when she hung it up and i still havent recovered from that.

das it. im done. again, yaint obligated to do this if yall dont wan

@yalltookmyurlideas @elvis-has-been-dug @vicdehart @lastvalyrian @heyhelloitsk @terra-toma @omgsomeonesomewhereonearth @ollyollyoxinfree @power-in-plain-sight @starwarsdestroyedme @deceit-propaganda

#fren #crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

good evening. my father (the engineer who put wasabi on rotisserie chicken last night) has, once again, sent my soul to the shadow realm

he wanted to make siopao asado for my mom. which is sweet. okay no problems there. thats a normal thing to want: make food for your wife

everything went smoothly until he had to steam it

he didnt plug the steamer on

he just waited for close to two hours wondering why the fuck it isnt cooking

he never thought to check to see if the steamer was plugged in

i am losing my mind

#crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

How old are you?

i dont know if youre the same person who sent this ask a while ago or if youre a different person asking the same thing. but i am neither old nor young, wise nor naive, stale nor fresh. i grew up having to pump water from a well whenever i wanted to take a bath. the internet would cut out whenever someone used the landline. not wearing seatbelts in a car was considered normal. calling people was more common than texting them. i used to play solitaire with ratty cards that are worn from three generations of use.

i currently, presently, as of this moment, have a flip phone. it is a pain to type but hey. at least its not landline

#crowsas answers #crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

so my mother tried to make lengua de gato. which are butter cookies that i would fight god for

so

she brought a plate up. bc again. i would fight god for these and she just tried to make one. there are several on a plate. it ended up looking a lil more pancake-y but i just woke up recently and i would eat anything placed in front of me

again. i just woke up after 3. its barely been an hour. i am not fully awake yet

and if yall dont know, i dislike touching food. i eat pizza with a knife and fork. i have eaten hamburgers with a knife and fork. i ate a bunch of cookies with chopsticks once bc i really dont like holding food

so i get the plate. i just woke up.

i did not see the fork my mom put on the side

so i just brought the plate up to my mouth and ate the pancake-y lengua de gato like a horse eating from the palm of an eager child. maneuvring the goddamn plate, angling my head, looking like a complete fucking madman

and my mother, very respectfully, said nothing about me eating like this and only asked how it tasted

i am just realising that there is a fork after ive eaten halfway of the plate

i want to scream

#in my defense. i am stupid #but also i am hella embarrassed #crowsas speaks

[crowsent]

okay so losas family dinner because god started me on the path of weird ass encounters on this day and he aint fucking stopping apparently

we have chicken (and sushi) for dinner. specifically one of those cheap nigiri sushi takeouts you get and the rotisserie chicken you buy from a fucking target or some shit. thats our dinner.

im still reeling from the starbucks karen of karens wild encounter so i march my lil ass downstairs to eat as fast as i can and go back to watching a bunch of adults play dnd to ignore the fact that i dont have my own party to play with. standard stuff.

i finish the sushi first. then i go for the chicken. specifically the leg. bc thats what i like on a chicken. put the one leg on my plate. so the serving plate chicken only has one leg left. because thats how chicken math works. you take one leg and you’re left with the other. simple.

then my father

college graduate

engineer

once boss of a whole tile plant

does algebra problems for fucking fun

smart as shit

my father

looks at the one chicken on the table.

the one chicken with one leg on the table.

looks me dead in the eyes and said. “there are 4 legs on this chicken”

and i would like to clarify that he did not say “limbs” as in the legs and wings no. this man specifically looked me dead in the fucking eyes and said “binti” as in LEGS. he said to me, his son that -while terrible at math- has a working pair of eyes and can FUCKING COUNT THE NUMBER OF LEGS A CHICKEN HAS; he said “there are 4 (four) legs on this chicken”

so he takes the other leg of the chicken and puts it on his plate

and im REELING from this fucking revelation. this information that my father very seriously announced that this chicken had FOUR FUCKING LEGS (which it did not) and im over here contemplating if i really am that stupid at math or if hes seein shit i aint seeing

and while im having this crisis

my father

wonderful cook

god of making noodles

excellent taste buds

my father

grabs the now sushi-less tray of sushi that only has ginger and wasabi in it

he takes the ginger

gives it to my mother who likes ginger

and he takes the wasabi

and spreads it on the chicken

just spreads it

like its fucking butter

and then he bites the chicken

and then in that instant i felt my soul wither and shrivel and decay because i watched my father spread wasabi onto steaming rotisserie chicken with a perfectly content look on his face

so thats how my night went what the fuck is up wit yall

#crowsas speaks #im still in this reality right #i didnt fucking astral project myself to some. uncanny valley alternate timeline right #because chicken wasabi is one thing #but rotisserie chicken wasabi is another #and the fucking #apat yung binti ng manok na to #this chicken has 4 legs #bitch my soul is fucking DYING

[crowsent]

having your trust betrayed during childhood really does fuck you up huh

#crowsas speaks #you must be at LEAST a level 7 friend to unlock childhood trust backstory #sometimes i think of what happened to me when i was young and i realise half my mental health problems stem from that one person