#criminallyfamous

[ironchosen]

@criminallyfamous

alana’s never bare in front of anyone but on occasion, with daphne, she’s capable of it. it happens once every ninety years when the stars align where she’s not either immediately shrugging back into the binder or pulling her shirt on swiftly. not that daph’s supposed to come over, but if she’s keeping track of where her best friend is and she always sort of is (what? catwoman is a dangerous thing to be!) she’s going to. most nights the stark heir assumes she’s going to have company. she keeps beefing up security and daph keeps getting past it. alana’s definitely come close a few times but the only way to win is with excessive force and she doesn’t want to succeed so bad she’d blow catwoman to bits. this fine night the estate’s chilly because it always is and there’s enough scotch in the man of iron that the cold barely matters. even if she’s only wearing gucci boxers. there’s a snaking, dark series of schematics squiggling around her chest, out from blinky’s slow pulse. that’s toxicity, poisoning, you know. and what you’re trying to do is fix it.

mhm. sir, catwoman is here to see you. bedeals keeps daph’s identity air tight, too. this is a team effort. the internet fucks call it ‘ironfam’ but when has the internet ever been knowledgeable or good at names. but this is an element in a chamber— the little ball of something that looks mercurial is moving and shifting, fluid, and she’s watching it go. late night science without an appetite, alana finds, is annoying. she keeps watching the element— unpronounceable and alien without a translator— react to the pressure she’s putting on it and wondering if it’s wise to shove something that inexplicable in her chest to power her own body. alana finally looks up, pushes glasses (no even safety goggles, why would she ever?) up into her hair.

she doesn’t have the breath to holler but she endures, “heeeeere, kitty kitty!”

#catwoman shipverse tbt #criminallyfamous

[itsnotpatsy]

the ocean’s 8 crew all became con artists and daphne gained a fursona as catwoman and she’s now fucking a literal cat person. living the furry dream.

#criminallyfamous #[This is a call out post for my girlfriend i can’t believe it toom me this long.]

[catdares]

megamind sentence pack || accepting

“Should’ve known you’d try to crash the party.” -- @criminallyfamous

“I don’t crash parties,” Felicia said, the smile on her lips warm enough to heat a room. “I usually find out when I show up there, I was welcome the whole time.” The cat goes where she pleases. Her grace and charm is her passport. A cat didn’t crash a party, a cat simply arrived to them. “Seems no matter where I turn up, the host always thinks their party that much more interesting for having had a mask among the guests,” Felicia glanced around the room, “but if you’d rather I leave? You could just tell people the Invisible Woman is here.” 

#criminallyfamous #felicia hardy making it sound like she's doing YOU a favor by drinking your wine and eating your food

[cruelonlytobekindarchived]

So I don’t get to talk near enough about the @criminallyfamous daphne kluger and Alana stark relationship because we’ve done all the development on disco but I’m gonna because it matters a lot to me and y’all deserve to be in your feelings as much as I am about it.

Alana’s very self-involved. She’s considered ‘low empathy’, though it’s somewhat a misdiagnosis due to both trauma and mental illness. These factors combine to give her a more pronounced flat affect. But you know what Daph never ever asks her to do? Stop being herself. She’ll chew Alana out (rightfully) when she deserves it and tell her without flinching when she’s being a dick, but she knows how to handle the difference between ‘I didn’t pick up that this was offensive’ and ‘go fuck yourself im steamrolling over your opinion’. They met, mainverse-wise, because they both ended up at the same parties, Daph wanted to bone her something awful, Alana liked Daph because she thought she was smart, this series of miscommunications of sorts led to Daph point blank asking ‘do you not want to fuck me?’ and Alana responding with ‘oh my god of course I do I’m sorry I just thought you were excited to blow up kitchen products’. It’s not at all that Alana’s not intrinsically just sexual in nature, it’s just that her definition of true enjoyment is ‘sharing things you both love’.

To Daph, that was plenty enough to put Alana stark at the top of the list for ‘men who didn’t have to die ’. Just above Jake gyllenhaal, who incidentally gets on with Alana very well. She was earnest, honest, and a little sweet. Maybe kind of a shotgun, but she could appreciate the sincerity in Hollywood. And Alana’s not absent an understanding of how The Business works. She has hands in everything and nat’s partnered with Alana on enough undercover to have taught her how to act. In spite of her central self-focus, Alana’s very talented at discerning behaviors if she’s focusing on them in a broader fashion, tiresome as it is. She can take in every factor and build onto it. And onto it. And onto it. Her connections are impeccable. So are daph’s. That doesn’t exactly hurt anything.

They prop each other up when the other one needs it. No matter what. When Alana got back with the arc reactor in her chest, Daphne was the first person to see her, the person who acted as her translator, and the first person allowed to touch her again. When Daphne’s mourning the difficult navigation of the Trish relationship and she needs someone to remind her unconditional love is real, it’s Alana she goes to. Once Alana asked daphne to explain to her what love was. So they watched the princess diaries, full Daph commentary. And when daph’s explaining the foot pop and the magic and the knowing (All Alana can focus on is chocolate and pizza), Alana’s lost on it. Absent. She shakes her head and quietly says she doesn’t know what that feels like. Daph knows she does, but no one’s ever been allowed under that Suit of Arm(or.)ani. Daph knows it must happen in Alana language.

Speaking of language, a crash course in asl was enough to suggest to Alana that it might be helpful for when she feels overloaded. It’s been perfect and is Alana’s preferred communication when she’s overwhelmed or overstimulated. Her hands shake too much to text properly, her thoughts jumble, and it becomes too thick to speak. Molasses. So the movie starlet learns to talk with her fingers, her hands, to press her palms to Alana’s cheeks and hush her gently into understanding she’s safe. Of the two, it could be argued Daph is the stronger one. Alana falls apart without that tether.

Daphne appreciates Alana’s observance of consent to such a scrutinizing degree. Because Alana doesn’t innately have that ability to peek under the human mask, she treats those around her the way she would like to be treated. This means everything is a question of consent or curiosity, voice small and soft and imploring, more innocent than just who she is. She’s too tired of shit directors being more handsy than they should be and it’s nice to know someone with so much power still politely whispers ‘can I hold your hand?’

It’s always a dialogue. If daphne doesn’t get something Alana says, Daphne’s patience makes Alana prone to backtracking and talking and breaking it down. Which is impossible to anyone else because Daph is a savant. And if Alana doesn’t get something Daphne says, she’s learned linguistically how to ask ‘I feel confused by what you just said. Can you tell me what it meant?’ And be straightforward when speaking. Not an innate skill, but one honed and carefully considered.

It’s really idiotically consensually kinky in here. Like everything is fair game. Daph’s got nails like a wolverine and heels (sometimes with built in) with knives. Alana likes really serious public sex. Everything is healthy and discussed and both parties are clear when the other does or doesn’t want to.

When Alana partners stark with Lena and slowly ends up with her as Lena repairs the arc reactor’s defects, Daphne gets it and supports her in spite of her raving jealousy. Once she insinuates Lena as Alana’s girlfriend and it’s upsetting enough to her on a literal level that it sends Alana into a whimpering panic because she doesn’t even know if Lena likes her. Daphne never even treads on this because she knows it’ll come in time. And she’s afraid Lena won’t deliver the promises, honestly. Afraid she’ll get Alana’s shredded heart even more grated. Afraid the disappointment will literally kill her. They stop sleeping together, and daphne ends up with a certain Big Kitten who Alana approves of, helps through that suffering.

(There’s even a verse where she, Trish, and Alana end up in an ot3.)

They’re not even romantic soulmates. They’re just soulmates. They’re each other’s other halves no matter what. They’re the connection the other has trouble finding outside of each other. Purest expression of love.

#criminallyfamous #v. turn up the faders. #[i am v v high and proofread none of this #i cant stop the hyperfocusing #and i know i left stuff ou.] #drug mention / #long post /

[itsnotjewel]

criminallyfamous replied to your post: anyways trish walker is the heart of jessica jones...

you’re right and you should say it

literally from the start of the show. it’s trish who helps jessica. it’s trish who supports jessica. it’s trish who has always been on jessica’s side. the show flourishes when it allows them to be close to each other, and suffers and feels hollow when it drives them apart. 

#criminallyfamous #i AM right #nmcu jessica jones? i don't know her

[godblooded]

No in all seriousness Daphne is Debbie’s daughter. The end of the heist when she chooses to bring Daphne on isn’t the first moment she’s let her in on it, and likely didn’t immediately consult Lou for it, either. The point is once Rose started to verbalize the potential issues happening, it started to become apparent that it was as possible that Daphne might not be as stupid as she let on. (Which Deb thinks is brilliant.)

It doesn’t take long before the narcissism in Deborah Ocean dictates she view Daph as her daughter because she sees a lot of herself in her. It’s an immediate click because Daph’s natural brilliance, eagerness, loyalty, and attention to detail are all factors that Debbie prices herself in. And Debbie’s naturally parental vibe when she forms a team of individuals she considers family kicks in immediately. Daphne is, to Debbie, the heir to her criminal empire, and the person she’d like to trust more and more as an apprentice to what she does. Daphne, in the meantime, absolutely absorbs and assimilates the attention like a sponge. Someone who thinks she’s intelligent? Willing to help? An older parental figure? Sold.

Daphne is her daughter.

#eye strain / #tbt #criminallyfamous #[Where’s robin we love daph and everyone must know.]

[risksit]

@criminallyfamous   /   x

LOU LOOKS AT Daphne, squinting eyes as a smirk grows in her lips. “ Yes, princess. You are. ” 

#criminallyfamous #verse Ⅰ ∞ 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚝𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚜 ;; #// i had to #// the gifset is so her

[harmonae]

She’s been a princess. Twice. And a queen. Once. And she worked hard to not be typecast as that for the rest of her life. But the thing is… she likes tiaras and crowns and the opportunities to wear them. Even if they’re plastic. Daph wonders briefly if her contribution to this party can be suggesting they fashion zirconia headpieces with that 3D printer they used for the heist. That’d be a great party favor, right? The kind of thing WASPy kids and their parents would eat right up. And she knows a thing or two about what WASPy kids and their parents like, because she still likes many of those things herself. Go figure. But she’d acquiesce to her own crown being only the second fanciest at the party. She’d do that for the birthday girl.

“That’s because I do.” Flattery would get you everywhere. Even if she’d already mentally RSVPed to this thing. What was she gonna do, say no to a personal invitation from Beatrice? Hardly.

       ❝    yeah,  i  gotta  give  you  that.    ❞    words  grow  tenderly,    so  very  delicate,   as  a  hand  moves  to  fix  beatrice’s  crown  upon  her  hair.    it  turned  out  being  way  easier  to  get  used  to  daphne’s  presence  than  tammy  would  have  guessed    --    not  only  were  the  kids  extremely  excited  anytime  silver  -  screen  -  lady  was  around,    the  actress  revealed  herself  as  one  of  the  kindest  and  funniest  people  tamasin  had  truly  known.  a  bit  spoiled,    perhaps    /    but  weren’t  they  all  sometimes?    ❝    thanks  a  lot  for  coming,    by  the  way--    tris  just  couldn’t  stop  thinking  about  having  you  around.  ❞    and  she’s  truly  grateful,    both  for  the  young  girl  and  herself.    the  two  of  them  seemed  to  get  along  rather  perfectly,    and  tammy  fancied  her  presence  in  there  as  well.         *        @criminallyfamous ,   cont.

#criminallyfamous #ok ok this took forever to reply to but. HEY ! #* ❦ i. –––– these boots are made for walking / convo.

[thefnce-blog]

                      @criminallyfamous  ( cont. )

They’re both a couple glasses of wine deep, just enough for a head rush, enough to cause her to stand and follow the actress to her bedroom. And is she ever glad she did –– half a knock on the door frame and she enters, catching the glimpse of a bare, pale back that looks carved from marble. And the dress, zipped partway with just a hint of fabric caught underneath, explaining the catch.

“Let me give you a hand with that.”

It never sounds bossy, not from Tam-Tam  ––  honey-smooth voice and eyes like a Disney princess bely the live-wire underneath. Her hands are at the woman’s back before she can get an answer, delicate contact all that’s needed to free the caught threads and send the zipper smoothly up the rest of the way. She brushes a light touch across the back of Daphne’s neck, once the dress is on, lets the smallest, softest sigh.

“Oh, a few here and there.” Leave it to Daphne Kluger to nearly turn Tammy to dust, even through a mirror. Their eyes meet and she smirks, space between them small enough to barely be worth mentioning. “I’ll admit, it’s rare for me to be putting someone’s clothes on.”

#criminallyfamous

[itsnotpatsy]

@criminallyfamous

[SMS: HERE KITTY KITTY] just cleared out fifty-fifth

[SMS: HERE KITTY KITTY] every scrap of garbage defected here from Gotham and now they’re forming fucking gangs

[SMS: HERE KITTY KITTY] there’s jokers everywhere so be careful

[SMS: HERE KITTY KITTY] I already took a hi-larious boxing glove to the face

#criminallyfamous #[CATWOMAN VERSE DURING THE BANE OCCUPATION? YES.]

[ironchosen]

⁂

MANHANDLE THE TIN CAN MAN.

STATUS: KINKY.

⁂ - grab my muse by the front of their shirt, possibly shoving them back

“hey, hey, careful with the claaaaaa--” claws! and there’s daphne. daphne behind the mask, black lace and warm, molten brown eyes. they’re not warm, now. the sheer flicker of anger, in fact, bings alana’s heart to a swift slam. thumpthumpTHUMP. she collides with the wall-- SLAM!-- and then daph’s leaning to smother the side of alana’s throat, her arm half pinning her, and stark’s little smile flicks out and dies. she gasps quietly, chest heaving against tight microfibers, all the weaves of her own work.

the shockwave rattles the building and shakes and shudders brick, leaves behind what’s almost sawdust in its wake. she can feel the flames licking the side of her cheek, and alana can’t help but think about how the flesh of a human cheek is so vulnerable, you can bite it right out with a tremendous CHOMP! her heart keeps flickering and fluttering, trying to calm down. the deafness goes half unnoticed until it comes back in a huge, loud whine, frequency screaming.

“alana.” it’s strange to hear. she’s so used to ‘handsome’ or ‘pretty boy’ it’s become her name basically. but through the loud screech is her voice, and through everything, that hand touching her face tenderly, is daphne. she falls in love every time, because if a feeling of overwhelming adoration is what love is, alana is sure this is love. “alana. look at me, handsome, okay?” and she does, still looking at those eyes under that dark mask. her hand presses to the big shot billionaire’s chest, feels the soft whir. blinky’s soothed, and daph says silently, “it’s okay, big guy. it’s okay. i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to hurt you.”

a hand reaches up, touches, tucks a strand of dark, messy hair behind an ear so carefully, “you okay, little guy?”

her hand lets go slowly, so slowly every part of alana’s body is as unharmed as it can be after being so shaken. there’s a gap in the building, now, the wind whistling through the smoke-filled air. when she approaches the edge and looks over, bodies strewn across pavement, stare unseeing up. daph follows suit after a second. blood paints cement, limbs akimbo, askew, an awful tableaux. daph places a hand on alana’s shoulder, equally as slowly.

she nods.

“as okay as i can be.”

the cat gives the man of iron’s shoulder a squeeze.

“keep you guard up. it’s a concrete jungle out there.”

#[what's that kat you're too sleepy to make proper tags? #IT MATTERS NOT I LOVE CATWOMAN VERSE.] #criminallyfamous

[catdares]

megamind sentence pack || accepting 

“I was destined to be a super villain.” -- @criminallyfamous

“Oh, super villains are just the worst though. Have you ever actually met a super villain? They’re ... just, yack yack yack about their plans to blow up New York, which like ... why? What does that do? How does blowing up New York benefit Norman Osborne at all? You know the reason almost all super villains are men... it’s because being a super villain requires you be dull, and mean. I mean could I hurt someone who hurt me or someone I loved? Yeah. Would I then take it out on eight million other people? No. I’ve got standards.” 

#criminallyfamous #v: tbd

[itsnotpatsy]

@buttercookie-art is my go-to artist and in case anyone can’t tell trish and daph are the otp. also that one j.ason momoa pic with his wife at the oscars was too good to pass up as far as a reference pic goes.

big cat small girlfriend.

@criminallyfamous

#diamonds are forever. trish&daphne. #criminallyfamous

[itsnotpatsy]

hello i fell dead ass the fuck asleep on the phone with @criminallyfamous and woke up to discover we were on for seventeen hours, my heart is too full, i’m cleaning my pipe, i ABSOLUTELY bought too much weed and insisted on grinding ALL of it, and the love of my life listened to me patiently while i played bon iver’s cover of i can’t make you love me ON VINYL repeatedly and sung along to it the whole time in like an hour of silence. what i’m telling you, internet , is i’m gonna marry that girl.

#συναστρέω. #criminallyfamous #out. anne hathaway can rail me. #[i love???? i love??? i’m love??? i’m IN love. oh boy. #OH BOY.] #drug mention /

[itsnotpatsy]

@criminallyfamous IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

#criminallyfamous #out. anne hathaway can rail me.

[itsnotpatsy]

Find that brilliant badass inside of you and believe in her. I know I do.

#self promo. hey look over here! #promo. hey look over there! #criminallyfamous #[Hello this is my girlfriend and i love them So Much but also #this is Trish's other half SO.]