#courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

Skywarp helping Thundercracker get over his depression by telling him to write fanfiction 🤌🤌🤌 like I’ve never considered it before but it’s now been ingrained in my brain that he’s a fanfic writer bc it’s very in character for him. And now skywards gotta figure out how to get Starscream to feel alive. Who knows how he does it. Is it science? Is fashion? Is it G1 starscreams favourite hobby of being a bastard?

It’s probably not that…

I'm glad you asked! I think we've got a pretty great idea for what he does for Starscream

So, Vos is a flying city, right? It's way, waaay up in the atmosphere, barely a gleaming speck when viewed from the ground, and it has no set day or night cycle due to it constantly moving independently of Cybertron's rotation. As a result, though the acid rains they produce nourish the vast crystal flora on the planet beneath them, Vos is entirely barren. It's environment is entirely unfit for crystals and they can't thrive, bleeding their color til they turn gray and shattering to dust within mere hours. Because of this, most Vosians have never even seen a real crystal flower before.

This is where Skywarp comes in. Starscream can only pursue his love of science, of exploration, of the unknown in the palace's vast library. This sort of thing would put Skywarp to sleep, but there's always fire in the prince's optics when he's glued to a textbook or meticulously scanning through advanced theories, and it's clear he's boundlessly curious. He'd love to do some proper hands on science, but it's not necessary for his future as the Winglord to know advanced physics or xenobiology, so the current ruling trine wouldn't approve. In a perfect world, Skywarp would love to see a laboratory space installed in the palace, but seeing as that's not going to happen anytime soon, he sets his sights elsewhere

The idea comes to him after a portrait catches his eye in the halls while he's escorting the prince and his fiance. It's a beautiful painting, lovingly crafted and flawless perfection down to the tiniest detail. It depicts Starscream's carrier, visibly sparked, his chassis glowing softly with the life he carries and belly perfectly round. He's seated in his throne, a regal, serene smile on his face, posture perfect and arms tenderly cradling the swell of his midsection. It was a commemorative painting to celebrate the Winglord's first concieved children, but that's not what garners his attention. No, it's the background: the second Lord of Vos is surrounded by glistening white crystal flowers, reflecting light in rainbow dapples. They're gleaming and glittering and only serve to make him glow with a heavenly backlight.

He asks Starscream if those were real flowers, and he responds that of course they were. It may have been before his birth but he knows perfectly well that his sire would never spring for anything less than the real deal. Skywarp asks if he's ever seen a crystal flower before, and Star kind of sighs, rolling his optics and shaking his helm. Of course he hasn't.

And that prompts Skywarp to suggest that maybe he should.

Starscream scoffs because that's ludicrous. Importing flowers has an asanine price tag, and they shatter within mere megacycles. The dust gets everywhere. He's seen pictures, that's plenty.

But Skywarp jumps in, insistent, "No, I mean, you should grow your own!"

Starscream barks a single, bitter laugh, because surely he must be insane. Crystal flowers dont grow in Vos, it's impossible!

...wait.

Is it impossible?

Skywarp can practically see the gears turning in his head, and goes in for the kill.

He suggests that Starscream experiment. Research. Learn. He's read plenty of books on botany, right? Sorted through academic papers and knows Vos's atmosphere extremely well. If anyone could figure out a way, it would probably be him. Crystal gardens are a common sight amongst the houses of grounders nobility; why should they have anything the seekers don't?

It takes him a long time, a lot of trial and error and a lot of research, combing digital foreign libraries and maybe even writing to botany professors from Praxus or Crystal City. Starscream noticeably changes, becoming brighter and more exuberant now that he has a hobby he truly enjoys. The shelves in his room start filling up with various pots of ground metal soil from the surface, full of seeds and withered half-sprouts, and he's always got his face in a notebook, scribbling away new theories and notes and recording data, tweaking his hypotheses and trying everything he can think of. Thundercracker is always nearby reading his latest romance novel or writing his own fantastical ideas down, and Skywarp is always there too, watching over them and thoroughly enjoying just how happy they look.

And sometimes 🤭 multiple nights a week, Skywarp takes him down to Cybertron. Checking out the gardens and wild fields of flowers around Praxus, maybe even wandering through the delicate forests surrounding Crystal City. Star takes samples and observes them with intense scrutiny, and buys hundreds upon thousands of seeds for his experiments. Skywarp has never seen him so happy, so excited, when his first crystal seed sprouts.

It's after months of work and trial and error, but miraculously, it finally happens: a shy little blue crystal sprig, poking out of it's pot by less than a pinkie's width, but it's there! Starscream is overjoyed, mumbling to himself a mile a minute and rushing to triple check the sample ID and write everything down, as well as begin mass replicating that batch to see if they can get more to grow! He's smiling so widely it looks like his cheeks may become sore, and his wings are fluttering behind him, actually fluttering, he's so pleased with himself. Skywarp lends a hand preparing more pots and flower boxes, and when Thundercracker arrives he congratulates his fiance wholeheartedly. Maybe his endeavor even inspires the blue seeker to write some more 🤭 it may not have been the chemistry lab work ups Starscream used to dream of, but the thrill of scientific experimentation and discovery feels just as good as he thought it would, and for the first time in a long time... he truly feels happy. Content. Fulfilled. And it's all thanks to this lovely courtesan. That night Skywarp puts on the best show he can, and who knows? Maybe someday, he'll be able to dance for them with petals falling from the sky 💖

#courtesan skywarp #starscream #insomnia gang #its 5 a.m. and i still cant sleep lol. help

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan au

Yesss Skywarp being not only getting closer to Thundercracker and Starscream but helping them getting closer to each other!!! It's almost like he's their missing piece. But of course they're not going to trine him. Yes that's what the royal trine want but Starscream and Thundercracker haven't known him for that long, and it would be unfair to Skywarp who didn't even want to be there in the first place. No, Thundercracker and Starcream haven't even considered trining Skywarp

The three of them get along swimmingly, and really are a wonderful little trio. The first time Starscream's garden produces real, proper buds, he gifts one to each of them. A blue crystal rose for Thundercracker, and a violet crystal pansy for Skywarp. TC is over the moon, and he's a total mess: his face is so hot and he starts stammering, tripping over his words. It's the first present his fiance has ever given him, and crystal roses have such a tender, sweet meaning in the extinct flower language. He goes home at the end of the day cradling it gently in his servos, gazing at it with the softest optics and warmest smile. Skywarp is significantly more collected: he's gotten a wide array of gifts over the course of his time as a courtesan, fancy jewels and the finest energon and expensive off world fabrics, but never something quite as unique as a crystal blossom.

It's honestly an incredibly romantic gesture 🤭

But you're right, none of them have trining in mind. Not at first. Skywarp is just there as their bodyguard to ward off the other noble houses. Starscream brought him in to buy himself and Thundercracker some breathing room. Nothing more.

I think, when feelings start to inevitably rise, there's a bunch of guilt. Skywarp made it clear he wants no part of any nobility's trine bond, at all, for any reason. He doesn't want them. He makes their days brighter and has such fantastic ideas, he listens so well and it's so easy to feel comfortable with him... but he's just doing his job. That's what courtesans do: they entertain, they make connections, they talk and dance and perform. And he's performing his duties perfectly, how can Starscream or Thundercracker foist more onto him? And reversely, Skywarp has watched and observed them for months and months now, he's seen the way all of high society's eligible bachelors and bachelorettes throw themselves at the two of them. In their prissy, classy way, of course, but it's impossible to miss the way Star and TC recoil every time. They're not in the market for a third right now, that's the whole reason Skywarp is here. To keep others from being too forward and pushy. The crown prince and his fiance don't want him, because they don't want anybody.

It's probably Thundercracker that breaks first. Life has been a whirlwind since Skywarp came to them, and before he knew it his spark had melted and he'd found true joy in their companionship. He went from numbly tolerating his time at the palace to eagerly looking forward to it, had evolved from courteous, picture-perfect bowing when greeting Starscream to actually touching his fiance's arm, then grabbing it, then hugging him. His spark had never beat for anything other than his stories before, but now it lifts and feels so light in his chassis when he sees the prince's face. He loves to hear Starscream talk, loves to tell his fiance about the latest storyline plot he's working on. Whenever Starscream gives him flowers he feels like he might burst from the sheer excitement. He's come to adore every day he spends in the palace at his side, and it can only be love, right? He's never been in love before, and it feels so good.

And he also feels that warm, gooey feeling about Skywarp. Is it any wonder? He's the one who helped him discover his love for creative writing, he's the one who gave him a sliver of light that blossomed into a full sunny sky in a previously dark, unfeeling world. He has such a bright smile and kind, mischievous spark. He reads each of Thundercracker's projects and gives his honest opinions, and always regards him with friendly enthusiasm. He protects them from the touchy nobility, and on more than one occasion has announced their unplanned departure from social events that Thundercracker couldn't bear a moment longer. He's like their savior, a guardian angel if such a concept were to exist on Cybertron, and TC can't help but love him with all his spark just as he does Starscream.

But... Skywarp doesn't want any part of that. He doesn't want Thundercracker to love him, and does not under any circumstances want to be tied into a royal bonding. And that... it hurts. He's read many books about unrequited love but he never anticipated it would hurt so badly. The night he comes to the startling realization that he loves them, both of them, he spirals into a panicked despair. He can have Starscream and that's a wish that is all but guaranteed to come true, but Skywarp... no. He can't have Skywarp, they can't have Skywarp, they will never have Skywarp. Starscream had promised him that they would entertain no thoughts of marriage, and Thundercracker has ever intention to uphold that promise. Forcing him into a contract would earn them no love, only resentment and detestation. He resolves to lock his feelings away and never let them see the light of day, but it makes interactions with Skywarp so much harder. He fears that, if the courtesan were to find out, he'd get the wrong idea and flee from Vos forever. After all, if the prince's fiance fancies him, then surely a marriage contract would soon be stuffed dkwn his throat. He can't stand the thought of Skywarp leaving them, so instead preemptively pulls away.

After the realization, Thundercracker almost seems to regress. When he is next delivered to the palace, his face is gloomy and dark once more. His wings are low, his optics are dim. He greets them cordially, and doesn't look at Skywarp when greeting him. They're both concerned, and more than a week passes with the unshakeable cloud still looming over his helm. He tries to hold the purple seeker at arm's length, to beat back those warm feelings and internally commanding himself to stop. 'Don't torment yourself with this, it's impossible so stay away from him. Spare yourself the sparkache.'

TBC

#courtesan skywarp #gonna cut it here cuz this is getting long but i hope you enjoy #can we get an F for Thundercracker please? hes going through it #skywarp #Thundercracker #Starscream #trineshipping

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan Skywarp

I love the elite trine all inspiring each other to pursue their interests even though their in a position that makes it tough.

And Starscream as a botanist? Fabulous. I love it. Please continue.

Wow Thundercracker and Starscream are really gonna start appreciating Skywarp's presence in they're life. After all, besides each other, who else has really put that much effort into listening to them and trying to make them happy?

Yeah, they're thoroughly charmed by Skywarp. It's hard not to be, honestly. Sky is honestly just glad to see them happy--he can't help but wonder if they've ever been happy before. They certainly don't give that impression. But now Thundercracker is always eagerly tearing through his books and making notes in the margins about ideas he wants to explore further or little inspiring pieces, meanwhile Starscream is always neck deep in his experiments. The two of them have become quite the power couple in Vos: their joy radiates off of them and more people are gravitating to them than ever, but they aren't paying attention. They're so preoccupied with their new pursuits everything else is kind of fading away.

Even better, their relationship is improving: they've been engaged since they were just tiny sparklings that hadn't yet developed self awareness, and though they spend every day together they were never particularly close. Always holding each other at arms length and never making personal conversation, seeing each other as an inevitability that they had to be courteous with. Through the discovery of things they love they start talking--Thundercracker gets an idea for a new story he wants to try out while watching Starscream vigorously tending his crystal flowers. He thought it impossible, blooms in Vos, but somehow the crown prince is making head way. And isn't that a romantic thought?! The prince of a nation toiling ceaselessly to bring flowers and light to his people, what a dreamy concept!

The story kinda runs away from him, and before he knows it he's concocted an entire outline about someone doing the impossible, growing flowers in the sky, just to bring joy to the person he loves most. He shyly asks his fiance about the actual process, what he had to do to get them to grow, and Starscream is delighted. No one's asked about his experiments yet! Granted, no one else knows, but still. He goes off on a long winded infodump about adjusting the atmospheric pressures and giving them a more concentrated acid to perk them up, taking pulverized mulch made directly from ancient crystal trees down on Cybertron. How he had to adjust the temperature 12 times to get it just so, and up here, the plants actually prefer purple light as opposed to Cybertron's natural red sun!

Thundercracker has never heard Starscream speak with such passion, and can't help but reciprocate it in turn. He mentions, in his research for this story he's writing, he discovered that in the Crystal City of old, there was an actually an entire secret code and language conveyed solely through flowers and their various arrangements. In all his digging through old archives Starscream had never found that, and it gives them both something to be excited about.

And just like that, the walls crumble between them. They never dared hope for anything more than civility and distant acquaintenceship with their forced fiance, but that's finally a hurdle they can overcome. As soon as they take an interest in each other and find common ground, they're fast friends. They've known each other for so long and once they let themselves, they become close in almost an instant 💖 they start spending all of their time in Starscream's indoor garden, talking about this and that and everything in between. Skywarp is there too, watching over them both, pushing then further and further into that which will make them happy and fulfilled

#courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

Suddenly struck with a really fun trineshipping idea! This time focusing on Skywarp

He was born a commoner in Vos with an exceptional outlier ability: he's the only living mech with a natural warpdrive. It has very serious connotations about his future. The nobility and royalty in Vos are notorious for hoarding all the special mecha for themselves, offering money and positions the common folk can't refuse in exchange for lofty marriage contracts or absorbing pretty outliers into their harems.

It's only by sheer luck that Skywarp's first time teleporting was within their own aerie, and very few of his relatives actually witnessed it. He was really young, and the family kept the secret gravely. If he was found out there'd be nothing they could do to keep him. The nobles of course couldn't force them to sign any contracts, but a teleporting sparkling would be a prime target for kidnapping, reformatting, and then being presented to Primus knows what buyer within or outside their city's limits. Skywarp's family is as average as they get, very few of them have higher education and they all work menial jobs in Vos. Selling him to nobility would set them up for life but his parent trine is so against the idea they refuse to breathe a word of it to their aerie's patriarchal trine.

They keep him secret as long as they can, and it's slowly suffocating him; it hurts, not being able to ever warp, lying to everyone through his teeth and pretending to be normal. Eventually, he leaves, whether out of fear of being found out or just desperate to escape, to take control of his life, and he takes on the best possible career that will let him support himself but also, more importantly, keep him from ever being high society trine material.

He becomes a high class courtesan.

It's one of the few jobs he could get, being aerie-less. Family is a huge deal in Vos, what family you come from has a lot of bearing on your prospects for life. Your accomplishments are theirs and vice versa. Their character and integrity are your character and integrity, and they're staunchly loyal, multi-generational homes that look after their own through life and death. To be without an aerie implies some serious family drama: if you screwed up bad enough to make your aerie drop you, to no longer claim you as family? It speaks of incredible crimes committed or the greatest faux pas imaginable. To be without an aerie is to be labeled untrustworthy or crazy, or a whole slew of other horrible things. Getting a job without an aerie is borderline impossible.

Of course, Skywarp wasn't kicked out, he left of his own accord, but he can't say that without arousing suspicion. He just declares he has no aerie, and that's that.

Vos has a number of high class brothels and Skywarp's beautiful, with a cute face and a better body, a smooth talking people person that can make even the most stoic mecha laugh. He's naturally funny, very charismatic, and an exceptionally fast learner: he's a born entertainer. He skates through the rigorous training and makes a grand debut, he's pulling in clients left right and center within his first week, and is booked out into the next vorn within his first month. He swiftly becomes one of their top earners and is much beloved.

He's a courtesan for a looong time, incredibly popular and has received multiple purchase offers, lovestruck regulars asking to buy out the rest of his contract so they can run away together, but he sweetly declines every time. He has no intention of retiring or settling down, ever. If he ever has sparklings of his own and they inherit his abilities, he'd just be setting them up for misery right from the start. He refuses to do that. And besides, being a courtesan is fun, in his humble opinion. He gets to wear the finest paint and sweet smelling polish, he's got a make up bureau bigger than his room at home. He gets paid to play tabletop games, dance, and sing all day, and he's always got a pretty spike to ride or a nice tight valve to fill, and always someone hot to kiss him. He gets luxurious baths and the other courtesans are fun to gossip with on their days off. He even gets to teleport a little bit, granted only back and forth across his private room just to work off the extra charge. He likes his job, and it's better than being married off solely for his special ability.

Yeah, life in the Heaven's Horizon House is pretty great

Then, they get some very exciting news! A new assignment, one of the most influential and wealthy noble houses has rented them out for a night. Apparently they're having a ball and want the prettiest and most talented mecha to perform for their guests. It costs a small fortune, more than most people make in their entire lives. They must really want to show off.

Skywarp is ecstatic. The cut each of the courtesans is promised is an incredibly hefty sum! He'll finally be able to afford those front row seat gladiator tickets that he's been dreaming about! He and his coworkers spend decacycles preparing and practicing to make themselves even better than perfect: these rich snobs have this kind of money to throw around, then they definitely have to pull some of them in as new customers! It's going to be an easy night compared to their usual work: skydancing and pouring wine, giggling and batting their optics and being as beautiful as can be for the nobility to gawk at. There's a strict no touching policy when they're outside of the house, so there's not even going to be any rigorous exercise 🤭 best performer of the night will even get extra allowance!

Ok, enough of my gabbing! You all know where this is going! Thundercracker's family is of course the host. I don't know what the event is. Maybe celebrating an especially important engagement, maybe just an elaborate blowout party to flex on the other nobles. Regardless, anyone who's anyone is there, including the Crown Prince 🤭 this is naturally where the three of them meet, and where Skywarp gets exposed as an outlier.

The only thing I'm not sure of is how. Does he foil an assassination attempt? Is he somehow accidentally drugged and stumbles off to get some air, and Starscream or Thundercracker witness it? Maybe Starscream can just Tell™ that he's different?

I dunno, but! We can figure it out! Hope you guys like this silly idea, and if you do! Lmk and we can play around with it more!

#skywarp the high class courtesan. thundercracker the depressed noble's son. and starscream the bored prince. what a throuple!! #what to call this au 🤔 #Skywarp #courtesan skywarp #trineshipping

[brandwhorestarscream]

ah yes i meant who confesses!! O.O

Yeah, the whole situation is just s big recipe for a sadness cake

Picking up where we left off with Thundercracker, he makes it maybe a week before he can't stand it anymore. He tries to be polite but reserved with Skywarp, but it hurts. He misses their conversations, misses their games. Having him so close but an impossibility he can't grasp is the worst thing he's ever had to shoulder. Knowing that no matter what, no matter how hard he wishes it, Skywarp will never care about him that way breaks his spark

At the end of the decacycle, instead of Thundercracker coming to visit, Starscream and Skywarp recieve word that he won't be in attendance today. He's gotten himself sick, and is in no condition to be travelling.

Of course, he's not actually coming down with anything. He's perfectly healthy, but it was the most surefire way to get his aerie's matriarch to let him stay home. He's locked himself in his suite, glumly re-reading one of his favorite books in the hope it will distract him or perhaps help clear his mind. No dice.

Imagine his surprise when, out of nowhere, who should appear on his balcony other than his fiance? Starscream's come bearing some healthy white crystal flowers that sparkle in a rainbow of light, and in the extinct flower language, they were often used to wish for good health. It's a terribly sweet gesture and it pushes Thundercracker over the edge.

Star's not at all expecting him to start crying--desperate, wheezing sobbing like his spark has shattered. He's never heard Thundercracker cry like this: in fact, he's never seen Thundercracker cry at all. It startles him, and immediately makes him sorry: something is so very wrong with his fiance. He hesitantly comes to sit beside him on the berth, winding one arm around him snd letting the blue seeker sob into his shoulder. It all comes spilling out like he can't quite control his mouth: how desperately he wishes things could go back to the way they were, it's all his fault, he didn't mean to, he's so sorry but he just can't go to the palace and face them both, not when he's so in love with both of them but knowing neither of them will ever really love him in return!

Starscream freezes while he's carrying on: it's the first time he's ever heard Thundercracker say that he loves him. Loves either of them. This is an arranged bonding and love was nothing but a fantastical whim. A childish dream. But, if his fiance actually harbors warm feelings for him, then...

It means he has a chance!

That evening, during a secret rendezvous in Thundercracker's private chambers, the prince and his fiance share their very first kiss. It leaves them both breathless and starstruck, caught in each other's optics and unable to break a spellbound stare.

"...I love you, too," a quietly whispered promise. "Please, return to the palace tomorrow. We'll figure this out."

Thundercracker shakily agrees, still mystified and floating on the high of his first kiss. Maybe... no, definitely, he can do it now. Even if Skywarp wants nothing to do with it, if he can bask in his fiance's affections, surely that will be enough. This arrangement is no longer a loveless dredge, but an actual relationship. Or, well, it can be! Will be! If Skywarp can't love him back, then at least he knows he'll have Starscream.

#courtesan skywarp #Thundercracker #Starscream #this is such a melodramtic romance but its fun lol #hope you enjoyed! send me more asks about this lol cuz idk exactly what will happen next #also im bad at makinh solo posts without prompts lmao

[brandwhorestarscream]

Hi! It’s me again. Ofc here for the courtesan skywarp au. Awww TC and Starscream are so cute 🥰. Even if Thundercracker’s breaking down bc he can’t have Skywarp I’m glad that he’s now officially got Starscream. But does Starscream have any feelings for Skywarp yet? Or does his conversation with Thundercracker kinda compel him to look at Skywarp in a new light? Or something like that?

Why do you think the prince has been giving both of them flowers every day? 🤭 it's their little ritual: at the end of every day he presents them both with a personally picked and pruner crystal blossom. Its not just him being courteous, it's his way of flirting. Starscream is notoriously Bad At Feelings and primarily expresses himself through little presents to the people he cares about. All 2 of them lmfao. His fiance is adorable whenever he gets flowers: he gets that giddy little smile and his face lights up so much he practically glows, and he always cradles his flower sp tenderly against his chassis as he leaves for the day. Skywarp always accepts his graciously, and has a tendency to tuck them against his audials so they glisten and sing while he dances late at night. Starscream's gotten so used to Sky's performances he can't get to recharge without hearing him sing nowadays 🤭

Skywarp is a routine breath of fresh air for both of them. He's endearing in ways the uppercrust nobility simply can't be. He has the slightest hint of a lower class district accent that shows in the pronunciation of a few of his words, and he doesn't hold himself so rigidly when he speaks. He's a very relaxing presence and he oftentimes uses his warpdrive to take Starscream down to Cybertron. Wandering through the crystalline forests makes for very special, private moments, and no matter how many times he goes it always leaves him speechless. Being there with Skywarp while the moon and stars turn the flora into endless dazzling splendor, making his escort's face glow ethereally, how can his spark not lurch for him?

Yeah, Thundercracker and Starscream have come to appreciate and adore each other, but they've got it bad for Skywarp too. Starscream is much better at hiding it, tho. He doesn't have any intention of making those feelings known: he promised Skywarp his freedom and he meant it. If his parents find out he actually fancies the courtesan, it'll destroy all their plans. He's still working on a way to get Skywarp out of the noble rings, and until he can figure it out... they're just going to have to play the long game and ensure nobody finds out

#now this can go one of two ways: we continue the pining idiots route. skywarp is glad the prince and his fiance have gotten so close #but his spark breaks when they start pulling away from him (assuming they want more privacy as a couple) #OR someone in TC's family was eavesdropping and decides to snitch to Grand Matriarch Permafrost #whichever 🤔 #courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan au

Hehehe so the trineshipping slowly begins. But Sywarp’s seriously gonna have his work cut out for him if he’s trynna make Thundercracker and Starscream happier people

I’ve said it before and I’ll say again but I’m actually in love with this idea

Im in love with this idea too 🥰 I'm so glad you like it!!

So! As for how Skywarp brings back their light! He watches them closely and tries to understand their mannerisms.

He probably sees a lot of himself in them, ironically: they're not happy in their positions despite having everything. Starscream likes being royalty and all the power and pampering that comes with it, but. He can't pursue the one thing he's actually passionate about. Thundercracker has never made a single decision for himself and is utterly depressed and apathetic to most things because of it. They're perfect in public: polite, sophisticated, graceful, well spoken. But their optics are dead and hopeless and have no real light in them. The second they get back to a random suite or parlor in the palace after a party, they both heave an identical sigh and collapse into plush arm chairs or the chaise or whatever. They don't seem to want to be perfect in front of him, which is. Weird

The two of them not keeping up the act with each other, he understands. They've been engaged since they were practically in diapers, and have known each other even longer. They're partners in misery together, they don't care if the other sees their flaws, because it doesn't matter. No one else is around anyway. Except Skywarp. They're comfortable enough with him to drop the act, and it's... unsettling. They seem so sad. So lifeless. He's had depressed clients come to him before, desperate for a meaningful conversation and affection, but they never ask that of him. He doesn't understand them at all

In public they're perfectly respectable nobles, poised, cordial, and polite. Starscream is an introvert that's great at pretending he's an extrovert, so he makes perfect conversation and people hang onto his every word. Thundercracker on the other hand is an introvert that's terrible at being anything else, and anyone attempting to speak to him gets short, curt, noticeably safe answers. It's no wonder people whisper behind his back that he's cold and arrogant.

He has no idea what to do to make them happy, and in fact only has a breakthrough after a particularly exhausting garden party held by one of the other noble houses. The party had lasted through brunch and into the early afternoon, but there's still several megacycles before Thundercracker is meant to return home. As the prince's fiance he's expected to spend the majority of his time at Starscream's side, so every morning he's fetched by a royal transport and every night is returned to his aerie. They're in Starscream's library, and while the heir to the throne is laser focused on a physics textbook, Thundercracker has made himself comfortable in a chair by the window and is reading his latest book. It's the final one in a series he's loved for years, and finally he gets to know how it ends. Skywarp wanders back and forth between them, pacing really, mind wandering but optics keeping a vigil for anything out of the ordinary.

Then, it happens. Thundercracker sighs, but not his normal melancholy sigh. No, this one is more forceful, pushed through all of his vents with a sharp hiss. He turns off his datapad with a decisive jab, and sets it onto the side table. His fingers curl in his lap, and he's frowning so deeply you'd think he'd just been insulted. Skywarp teleports to his side and immediately asks what's wrong.

Thundercracker sighs once more, rolling his optics. "What," he spits in the most venomous tone Skywarp has ever heard him use. "Was that?!"

"Uh-"

"Airstrike and Cannonfire conjunxed?! Why?! They've been trying to kill each other for the last 8 books! She killed his carrier! The prophecy said Termaria would be razed after their final battle and now they're a couple?! WHY?! It doesn't make any sense! They hate each other! He burned her country, and she assassinated his entire family! Including poor little Clifface, he was only 8 vorns! They- are you hearing this, Skywarp?! They had to work together to put the Titans back to sleep, which fine, they are the best ones for the task, but that was more than halfway through the final book and that suddenly makes everything alright?! Not just alright, suddenly they're in love?! Listen to this nonsense!" He snatches up his datapad again and flicks back a few pages, beginning to read aloud, "'She truly can't believe it, even still, that this mech is to be her mate in just a few short cycles. Hatred still burns in her spark but now, somehow, it's easy to turn it onto passion and love. She'd been mistaken of his true colors, and was willing to pardon his sins if he would only pardon hers.' What is THAT?! This is atrocious! This is disgusting! I waited 10 vorns for this book and this is the ending they give me?!"

Thundercracker's huffing and gasping for air by the time he's done ranting, having worked himself up into quite a fit and actually throwing the datapad down onto the table.

"...I apologize," he takes a deep, slow intake and Skywarp can see all the passion and warmth draining out of him once more. A practiced thing, he suddenly realizes. "I'm... f-frustrated. This ending is awful," he's starting to look sick, and suddenly Sky sees tears beginning to bead in his optics. His EM field reeks of barely-concealed, incredibly heavy disappointment. "I- I didn't mean to raise my voice, but... I've waited such a long time for this, and..."

"And it's not what you dreamed it would be?"

"Yes! Exactly!"

Skywarp let's him continue venting. Its clear this series has meant a lot to him over the vorns. He has first edition copies of every file, and has read the first three so many times he can practically recite them from memory. From what he's gathered, the story isn't even a romance. It's a vast saga about a fantasy world at war, and the two bitter rival leaders of each side had suddenly and inexplicably found themselves in love at the very end of the final book.

After he's said everything he can and is sadly searching for another story to read, Skywarp suggests, "You know... you could always rewrite it."

Thundercracker is entirely taken aback. Rewrite the ending? Skywarp says that yeah, why not? If he hates it that much, maybe he should rewrite it the way he thought it should go. Make up his own ending. Ignore the author's weird intentions and fabricate his own. TC has honestly never considered that before, never thought that he could. He tries to decline, saying he doesn't have the skills to be a writer, but Skywarp is persistent. Just try. It'll be therapeutic, if nothing else, and its not like he'll ever have to let anyone read it.

Suffice to say 🤭 Thundercracker tries it out and it unlocks a love he never knew he had. He's never tried creative writing before, but after sampling it at Skywarp's behest, he discovers that he loves storytelling. Within a week he returns to the palace with a personal datapad in hand, giving it to Skywarp to read. His revised version of that terrible ending, and he wants Sky to read it! It wouldn't exist without him, after all, and he had such a great time making it! There's light in his optics, sudden and bright: he looks like a person at last, not a perfectly structured drone. He goes on and on about the piece he wrote and how he's so excited to do more! There's not really any other endings he wants to fix, but there's plenty of characters he enjoys that could have more adventures!

Thundercracker looks great with a smile om his face, a real smile, and Skywarp is sure to tell him. For the first time, ever, Skywarp sees him genuinely accept a compliment, before placing the datapad in his servos and going to greet his fiance. He's given Thundercracker something to look forward to, something to make his days bright and worthwhile, something that truly makes his spark happy, and he couldn't be prouder.

One down, one to go. Next, he's gotta figure out how he can bring meaning and joy to Starscream's life

#courtesan skywarp #anyone that can guess what he does for Starscream gets a free terrible sketch lmfao

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan au

Rip Skywarp. All he wanted to do was float around and look pretty and occasionally get laid and now he has to move in with the royal family and protect them. The real question, however, is does Skywarp know how to fight? He seems like the kinda guy to at least know how to throw a punch. But he will probably have to know at least the basics if he’s going to be the crown prince and his trine mate’s bodyguard.

Sky's not a trained fighter or anything, but he does have masterful control of his body. Aerial ballet and the art of performing require a mech to be in excellent shape, after all: the very best courtesans work very hard to maintain their form and stay in the best possible condition. He's very flexible, light on his feet, and has quick reflexes, which is perfect for his intended job. He's not actually meant to be a fighter, but a failsafe for the prince. Removing him from dangerous situations, putting distance between them and threats. His warpdrive handles that just fine

The work is a lot less demanding than he thought it would be, honestly. He's assigned to Starscream pretty much around the clock, but he never actually has to do anything. It's not often someone is brave or stupid enough to charge a member of the royal family with a weapon. For the most part, he just follows Starscream around at social functions and is on standby whenever Thundercracker visits. He's bored to death and dreams of returning to the Heaven House

Star and TC notice that the life is being sucked out of him and try to help alleviate his suffering. Starscream manages to find the typical price range for his previous workplace and offers him bonus pay for similar entertainment. Skywarp lights up at that, over the moon when he's given a fine crystalline serving set, some fancy cards and silk ribbons. The two betrothed put on music and watch Skywarp refill with life right before their optics, and it's easy to see why he was such a well loved courtesan. In his element and doing what he loves, he's the picture of grace and so personable. He makes excellent conversation, and is so lively and full of zest. The stories he tells are captivating and he always has perfect delivery on his jokes. He has charming little parlor tricks and pours their wine in such a dramatic, artful way. They much prefer this version of Skywarp, giggly and friendly, over his sulky, silent vigil as their bodyguard.

After that breakthrough, things start to defrost between them. The two affianced are less tense, and Skywarp is happier. He gets to perform nightly for the prince, and whenever Thundercracker visits they play tabletop hologames as a trio, or watch Skywarp perform a one-mech drama or sing for them.

Life in the palace isn't as bad as he initially thought, but he notices pretty quickly that neither Starscream nor Thundercracker are happy. They have no light in their optics, their smiles are never genuine. Everything seems like a formality and an obligation. There's not a hint of passion or excitement for anything they do. They're so full of longing and melancholy it hurts. He hates seeing them deflate after social gatherings, hates watching Starscream collapse onto his berth heaving the most exhausted sigh and groaning like he's in terrible pain, hates seeing Thundercracker get increasingly more antsy, retreating into his shell more and more as hours drag on at banquets and soirees. They're always polite and praise his performances, but they're never actually happy. He's never had a customer be unhappy before, and makes it his personal mission to fix it!

#courtesan skywarp #hopefully these ramblings are comprehensible its 4 a.m. and i cant sleep #insomnia gang #if this doesnt make any sense lmk and ill rewrite it

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan Skywarp au

Holy shit Skywarp would be freaking out post reveal (unless you go with the version of him being drugged but even then). Like he’s gone his entire life without revealing his outlier to any one but like three family members and then suddenly a room full of famous and rich people see him warp. Cause these are the exact people that he was hiding his warp drive from and now they all know and they’re going to take him away and this is what he was a trying to avoid

Oh yeah, poor Skywarp is having a helluva time.

I did some discussing with my discord, and I think we mapped out a pretty good means for his secret being revealed. It's about halfway through the night and he's just slipped away from one of the tables to refill his crystal pitcher with fine wine, and his next rotation happens to be over toward the table nearest to Starscream and Thundercracker. As he's flitting over, a bright orange glow happens to catch his attention right out of the corner of his optic, and he just barely notices an until-now cloaked assassin pulling out a deadly hot thermal blade and making a silent lunge for the two guests who are sitting all alone.

"WATCH OUT-!" He drops his pitcher and it shatters grandly as he breaks into a sprint, arms outstretched to warn them, but he's not going to make it in time. There's about 2 seconds before of those two mechs gets stabbed, and his warpdrive activates on his own from his desperation to do something. He can't just stand still and watch someone be hurt, it's a reflex he can't control.

He teleports without meaning to and crashes into both of them, knocking over their tables and chairs and the blade goes right into his bicep. He shrieks in pain and in the next second he teleports again: all three of them land on the floor in the center of the room, knife still sticking out of his arm with both of nobles he just saved pinned underneath him.

The room erupts in pandemonium--did that courtesan just assault the prince and his fiance?! No, wait, there's a blade! An assassination attempt?! That purple light, the way he seemed to disappear and reappear, is he a-?!

Skywarp panics at all their whispering, and his warpdrive kicks in one final time: he vanishes with another flash of purple light and finds himself sobbing in his room at the Heaven House. He yanks the blade out and throws it on the ground, wound gushing a generous amount of blood. He feels cold and shaky, his audials are ringing and his spark is hammering. They know. They know. It was the worst possible place to expose himself, every noble family on the city had guests at that party! Even the royal family was there! Everyone saw him! And-

The stab wound throbs on his bicep and he clamps his servo over it, wobbling out of his bedroom door to find the manager/house mother. She's horrified when she sees what state he's in! She takes good care of her workers, and treats them kindly: Skywarp falls into her arms sobbing and frightened and she can hardly believe what she's seeing! He was assaulted at the party and then flew all the way home?! She hurries to get him some first aid, closing the wound as much as she can and calling the nearest hospital for transport.

Skywarp ends up losing consciousness before they arrive, unfortunately: seems the assassin nicked a vital mainline and now he's at risk of bleeding out 😌

#courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

courtesan skywarp au

so like I might of become mildly obsessed with this idea and I need to hear more. Are starscream and thundercracker still in shock from having just been saved from an assassin by a courtesan (an outlier no less!) or are they trying to find him? Or is it someone else’s idea to try and find skywarp?

1. Eeeee I'm so glad you like it so much!! 🥰

2. So, widely, yes. The two of them are very surprised and for good reason. The entirety of Vos's high society was there and now the everyone knows about Skywarp. The party disperses quickly and Thundercracker is swept off by his overprotective grandcarrier to make sure he wasn't hurt. Permafrost also arranges for someone to escort the rest of the courtesans home safely, and word spreads like wildfire that there's an S-class outlier somewhere in the city.

Skywarp is taken in for emergency surgery due to having his mainline slit. He wakes up to an enormous mess waiting for him: his face is all over the evening news, his family is waiting at the hospital, and he's got no less than 20 proposals in his personal inbox from the varying noble houses, offering exorbitant amounts of money and privilege for his hand.

He's terrified, honestly. He feels like s cornered grounding up against the wall with nowhere to run. He took up sex work both because it was a job he could get without an aerie, and because he figured the noble houses wouldn't want him without his purity and chastity in tact, even if his secret was ever discovered. Evidently not. He's the only living mech with a warpdrive and his being a high class prostitute isn't even enough to make him undesirable. There's nowhere in the city he could hide, no other courtesan house he could go to where they wouldn't find him. He could get a total reformat, change his face and body and paint and even his voice, but how long until the surgeon is bribed and rats him out? He could run out of Vos as a last resort, but the ground is no place for a lone seeker. He'd probably be kidnapped and sold onto the black market. Someone might even try to steal his warpdrive to sell. And the other sky cities are out of the question: he wouldn't be welcome in Helex, and Kalis... they'd find him there easily.

There's nowhere he can go. There's nothing he can do. The staff is nice and doesn't let anyone into his room without his permission, and the first person he sees is the house mother. She looks extremely troubled. Of course, she had turned down every offer to buy out his contract in the last, not just because he's so profitable, but because he doesn't want to leave the brothel. She loves having him around, adores all of her employees and treats them with love. This isn't the first time a noble mech has petitioned to take one of her workers and it certainly won't be the last, but this. This is an extremely unique situation, because for the first time, there's multiple noble houses actually fighting over one of her workers. There's a full-scale bidding war going on, and she's got Skywarp's family demanding she relinquish him too.

He stresses to her once again that he has no aerie. They have no right to make decisions about his future now, it falls only to him and the manager. She says that she's turned down every offer so far and will continue to do so, as long as it's what he wants, but... there's one family she can't refuse. That no one can refuse. The royal family, naturally.

She apologizes and says that there's someone he needs to speak to, immediately. Prince Starscream and his fiance, Lord Thundercracker, are here to see him.

TC brought snacks, a few fine energon sweets swiped from the gourmet kitchen in his aerie. He thanks Skywarp for saving them, and is deeply apologetic that he was hurt in the process. Sky waves off the concerns, saying it was just the right thing to do. He couldn't just stand there, right? Starscream is a bit sour and broody at first, suspicious that it was an elaborate ploy to curry favor, but Skywarp truly has no interest in marrying into nobility, or in marrying at all. He wants to go back to work and pretend this never happened, but that's not really possible, is it? This is going to follow him forever, and the upper echelons of Vos's society can be crafty. Eventually, someone is going to make him an offer he can't refuse, and whether that's through honest means or not, no one can say. Winglord Hurricane and his two mates have naturally set their sights on him as well: an heir born with such a rare and powerful gift would be the ultimate jewel in their crown. The royal family is naturally pressuring for Starscream to be engaged to him asap.

Starscream and Thundercracker have no interest in dragging this poor mech into their ever-revolving circus of misery or forcing him to trine to them as complete strangers. It's clear as day he wants no part of it, teary eyed and flinching every time a new message pops up. They make him an offer, to buy them all some time: to come work in the palace as Starscream's personal attendant and head of security. After all, he just saved both of their lives. His ability to teleport immediately puts him leagues above any other royal guard. And there's not a noble house in existence that would dare petition the prince's firsthand mech-in-waiting. The royal trine will back off, seeing an engagement as "an eventuality". It's not a perfect solution but it will gain them all some sorely needed breathing room. They'll pay him very well and he very strictly won't be expected to perform any bedroom activities. No sex, no spark sharing, nothing. Just an extra precaution for security, because clearly that assassin was hired by someone.

Again, it's not a perfect solution. Skywarp asks if there's any way he'd still be able to perform his courtesan work, and Starscream regretfully tells him no, probably not. But it will stop the harassment cold, and he won't be forced into anything he doesn't want to do. They'll figure something out, somehow, a way to get him freed from the clawing hands that want to pin him down so badly. Consider it proper repayment for saving them, helping him wrest his freedom back.

Skywarp sullenly agrees when it comes out that, officially, legally, on paper? He's still technically listed as part of his family's aerie. He changed his name when he became a courtesan, but he never officially went to the hall of records to have himself removed. Which means, technically, the patriarchal trine of his family could sign off on a marriage contract without his consent or input if he's in a vulnerable state. Such as being hospitalized. They haven't done so, yet, because they themselves haven't realized the loophole. This is the only out he has. The announcement that he's been elected as the Crown Prince's personal attendant sparks shock and outrage, but there's nothing anyone could do. While it's not technically law anymore that direct employees of nobility need their master's permission to marry, it's still an intense faux pas to ask. It would be incredibly shameful and embarrassing, to be so desperate they'd go behind royalty's back.

It's only meant to be a temporary arrangement. Starscream tells Skywarp to take all the time he needs to recover from his operation, and when he's ready they'll send a transport to retrieve him from the Heaven House. Skywarp says goodbye to his coworkers and house mother with a heavy spark, thoroughly dreading moving into the palace.

#courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

WHO BREAKS FIRST, TC OR THE OTHERS? SKYWARP COURTESAN AU I NEED TO KNOW <3

First off, I'm glad you're enjoying this AU so much! I saw all your tags and I'm 🥰

However, before I can answer this I need to know... what do you mean by breaks? Like, who slips up and reveals their feelings? Who can't handle the stress of unrequited love and has a breakdown? Something else? Do tell!!

#courtesan skywarp #idk if im dumb or sleep deprived cuz its 4 a.m. but i csnt figure this out

[brandwhorestarscream]

Courtesan au

is skywarp having like... spike withdrawl

I- no? Why would he be? He's a courtesan, not a nymphomaniac. Just because someone is a sex worker doesn't mean they're addicted to sex lol

#courtesan skywarp

[brandwhorestarscream]

Skywarp in the courtesan AU has immaculate graceful and beautiful vibes but is also incredibly strong. Vibes inspired by my lrb. He could sweep both Starscream and Thundercracker of their feet with little effort

#courtesan skywarp be like (◠‿◠✿) ✧･ﾟ: * and ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ at the same time

[brandwhorestarscream]

So if Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker are in a trine bond, could Megatron be their combined concubine? 🤔

Just for very silly fun, in which Megatron became a courtesan instead of gladiator. Succeeded in that too.

As a cobcubine he'd actually be in competition with Starscream's future trine (Skywarp and Thundercracker are his fiances at this point); the presence of a concubine is a rather shameful thing for those that are actually wed to the mecha in question--it undermines their authority and desirability. It's a pretty big slap in the face, all things considered. But as they're of higher status than him, Sky and TC would be within their right to order him around or touch him, tho at risk of Starscream's wrath if he tattles. High society Vosian politics and hierarchies are confusing and convoluted af, but 👀 I definitely wouldn't be opposed to an alt timeline where Megs is a high class courtesan 🤭

[brandwhorestarscream]

So like the skywarp courtesan au

What are Thundercracker's and Starscream's thoughts on the pretty courtesan flitting around the party pre warp drive reveal. Like, do they have any? Or do they only really notice Skywarp after the reveal?

EeeeeeYES finally someone asks me about courtesan Skywarp!!

Starscream and Thundercracker are sitting together, naturally, as betrothed. TC's not even paying attention to the entertainment, secretly reading a bookfile under the table, and Starscream is looking but not really seeing. His optics are attentive but his mind's a million miles away, thinking about Primus knows what. Probably science. As far as he's concerned, watching someone dance is significantly less fun than doing it yourself, and while the courtesans are pretty--beautiful, drop dead gorgeous even--he doesn't allow himself more than passive admiration. It's not like he could ever indulge in a night with one. Disrespect Thundercracker's family like that? His grandcarrier Permafrost would go nuclear, and the Winglord would strangle him if he did something to break this engagement. Thundercracker himself would rather read some romanticized old story about courtesans and imperial harems than pay attention.

Star's thoughts on Skywarp pre-warpdrive shenanigans are that he's blindingly beautiful. Anyone would be lucky to so much as share a drink with him. Most of the courtesans wear bright and flashy colors: regal and vibrant blues, greens, and pinks that sparkle and glitter under the spot lights, accentuated with white like the purest clouds. Skywarp is the only one that's got black on his frame, and it does make him stand out. He catches the most optics just by nature of color contrast. He's glossy and glittery and graceful, perfectly in his element as he twirls around with his silk ribbons and drifts through the air like a spirit of mist to pour their wine. There's a whole swath of nobility drooling over him. He really is the perfect courtesan.

I'm still not sure what causes the warpdrive reveal. Maybe he's brought some fresh high grade to serve the prince and his fiance, and halfway through he realizes it's poisoned and in his rush to get the glass away from him his drive activates. Maybe there's an assassin, like I mentioned. Maybe he accidentally has a spiked drink which causes it to glitch out 🤔 I dunno, what do you think?

#courtesan skywarp au