#could b melancholy (a word ive been looking for for forever and just remembered) could be some type of panic/anxiety attack

[ace-with--a-mace]

i think ive been in a constant state of melancholy

#or im losing my mind #idk i was 'normal' for like 3 weeks i was functioning making shit doing work girlbossing if you will #and i was driving yesterday and i keep breaking cuz i see people everywhere just crossing the street and shit without a care #and my mom lept getting mad at me cuz allegedly there was nobody there #so im like hm. even tho its fl ppl in my area have sense so i know what im seeing isnt real so its whtvr ill manage #and then im driving but i cant focus cuz my head is yelling st me to swerve and drive through buildings or swerve off the road cuz #“if u dont now then something much worse will hit you later and itll be fatal” so i went home. and now i just have a pit of dread or sadness #or nostalgia or whtvr #the pit is unrelated to the thoughts and shit. i think its always been there and im jusg aware of it #like yknow how ur always breathing but it becomes manual when ur aware? ya. but it hurts #my throat feels like its closing up my chest and stomach is heavy im crying somethn js happening idk what #it could b nostalgia cuz im thinking ab my friends j dont talk to anymore. could be dread ab my future cuz j lowk donr have a plan #could b melancholy (a word ive been looking for for forever and just remembered) could be some type of panic/anxiety attack #idk. idk idk idk #l speaks #shut up l #ranting in the tags because i can #but its 2 am i gotta b up at 9 for mass so hopefully i can sleep off whatever this js #i am going to pretend its nothint serious because i like to drive i love driving and i am normal and i cant afford shit going wrong now.