#cosmicfunguy

[zealctry]

"You have fungi growing on your big toe."

ask Hidan stuff // unprompted.

" ew!! what the actual fuck!? are you trying to take over my body??? " he's chopping it off! he's chopping it off, soaking it in undiluted bleach, and asking Kakuzu to sow it back on. good as new in a couple of days!!

#CANON. #cosmicfunguy #(ﾉoヮo)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧┆ ❛ ᶦ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᶦᶰˢᵃᶰᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᶫᵒᶰᵍ ᵖᵉʳᶦᵒᵈˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵃᶰᶦᵗʸ ❜ ( crack )

[holyfated]

@cosmicfunguy ↳ "Take good care of Obito for me. Don't forget to regularly ask him how it feels to poop."

❝ 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐉𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆. ❞ her arms cross under her bosom as she stares the oddity down, shaking off such words with a shake of her own head. ❝ you're disgusting, ask him yourself. i don't stop him from talking to people, you know. ❞

#cosmicfunguy #✞. in character. ➛ deceiver of the damned. #✞. ask. ➛ hymns for the holy. #[ gita voice: obito that weird fucking plant is back! ]

[kahenn]

Zetsu basks in the sunlight among all other plants in the conservatory. "Do you care for them? Every single flower is happy here, this doesn't happen often even in nature."

"Well, it's our job to make sure all the plants here are happy. We conserve and take note of plants native to the Land of Fire."

#cosmicfunguy

[irukasenseii]

The potted plants in the school have all vanished, all replaced by local grown plants and fungi. The culprit hasn't left yet, Zetsu stands near a window, planting yet another spy. Propagating their network of communication.

"I'm sorry but what are you doing?" Iruka frowned when he stepped into his classroom, staring at an unfamiliar intruder. His papers were set down on the desk. "Where are my students plants? Did you move them? They put a lot of time caring for those--"

#cosmicfunguy #iruce vc: uuuuuuuuuuhm #hellooo

[gunpowdergelatine-katsu]

@cosmicfunguy​ said: "Are you planning to die tonight? I wouldn't say no to an exploded roasted corpse~"

“Can’t die if you’re already dead inside, hn. I’ll take my chances if means going out with an explosion.”

#cosmicfunguy #innuendos for the win

[bibibooks]

"What book would you recommend me?" He's quite the customer to have in a bookstore.

Bijin looked at her very unusual customer, should she alert Ino that one of her succulent plants was on the run? The thought made her snort. No. This was just an unusual individual with no idea what book they might like. Honesty, how should she know? It wasn’t like she was able to tab into that brain--did they have a brain at all? Perhaps some sort of intertwined web like deep within the ground to communicate with other flora. What a freak. 

“Honestly, I’d either suggest horror or something about pesticide.”

@cosmicfunguy

#cosmicfunguy #SHE HAS NO IDEA #HHH

[bladedhunter]

"If we told you that some plants are actually immortal under the right conditions, would you hate them for being unartistic?"

To Deidara.

"No. Plants aren't art, hn. They're not trying to be, either. They're just--plants."

#c: deidara #he's like #it's no competition #f: naruto #f: anime #cosmicfunguy

[abyssaldespair]

I'll be logged on my Zetsu blog today

#from the boring world (ooc) #find me on cosmicfunguy

[isha-shizune]

@cosmicfunguy started following you!

"Oh, you're Obito's friend! Hello! Should I, uh, water you too?" She was currently watering her plants.

Do talking plants need watering?

#ready to help!: ic

[kinslain]

@cosmicfunguy asked:

“We invited a new mushroom to inhabit the hideout and we would like your health feedback on it, Itachi-san, since you’re the most sensitive here.”

Itachi should perhaps be more surprised whenever Zetsu’s head breaches the walls or when he sprouts forth like an insidious weed from the ground. He should be, but he isn’t.

“I haven’t noticed any changes,” he murmurs. The truth is, Itachi is burdened by afflictions so all-encompassing that adding one more grievance to his ever-expanding heap of miseries feels superfluous. His health deteriorates relentlessly, day by day, at an alarming pace. It’s an autoimmune disease, a genetic anomaly, untreatable, fatal. In the grand scheme of things, what significance does a mushroom hold? Odds are, he won’t be around long enough to gauge whether removing them and their spores will affect him positively.

“Don’t worry about it.” As he prepares to wave Zetsu off, another, more pressing thought enters his mind. "What do you mean by 'invited'?"

#.answered #wdym invited #did they walk here #or what #itachi can't tell #if they're making him worse #he's already a bag of diseases

[zealctry]

"You wouldn't taste good... But a momified version of you would. When you die if you ever die, we will momify you for an unprecedented flavor."

“ oh yeah? know what I think? I think you’re full of shit, Fungi Boy. I have it on good authority —from anyone who’s ever put me in their mouth— that I taste fucking fantastic. don’t be so salty about the fact that you won't get a taste. it’s not you, it’s m——— actually, no. it’s definitely, absolutely, without a doubt. . ..  you. ”

#cosmicfunguy #CANON. #( he definitely went there. you're welcome Zetsu. ) #(ﾉoヮo)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧┆ ❛ ᶦ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵐᵉ ᶦᶰˢᵃᶰᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᶫᵒᶰᵍ ᵖᵉʳᶦᵒᵈˢ ᵒᶠ ˢᵃᶰᶦᵗʸ ❜ ( crack ) #( GO BACK TO THREATENING DEIDARA YOU PLANTMAN )

[holyfated]

@cosmicfunguy: "One time I gave a few psychedelic mushrooms to your zombie, Obito. You should have seen him, it was entertaining and it ended up calming him down for the next few weeks. Whenever you need to calm him down, just ask me I will provide." White Zetsu suggests, smiling.

𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐀𝐒 𝐒𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐒 𝐓𝐎𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐈𝐓. whatever this thing wants was not worth tormenting obito; she had done enough as it was, there were scars to prove it. she looks at zetsu with dead eyes, narrowing them before finally looking away. she knows this being was harmless, but his interest in obito and what made him weak seemed a bit personal. she looks back to him smiling still, still very much staring at her.

how off putting.

❝ he doesn't need that. ❞

#cosmicfunguy #✞. in character. ➛ deceiver of the damned. #✞. ask. ➛ hymns for the holy. #[ shes gonna sell them on ebay ]

[hana-akari]

@cosmicfunguy continued from x

"Nice try, buddy. I know plants don't shit. You just want to sneak off and do weird things to the corpses in the basement." She huffed, putting her hands on her hips,

"I'm the only one allowed to mess up those corpses... Not that I do. But just sayin'"

#Blooming Lights: Ic

[abyssaldespair]

I have a tiny bit of free time, I'll be on Zetsu! Over at @cosmicfunguy

#from the boring world (ooc) #go bother my plant

[holyfated]

@cosmicfunguy ↳ White Zetsu offers Gita a pot of flowers, in it's soil are some mushrooms as well, both species flourish in the presence of decay.

"This is our thanks for reviving Tobi, we've always found his struggles fascinating."

❝ Obito. ❞ She spoke up, regarding the gift with a small glance before looking back to Zetsu. ❝ His name is Obito, and his torments can have some benefits... But there is more to him that makes me want to see every ounce of himself. ❞ Nonetheless, the... odd guy in front of her was smiled at for a brief moment. ❝ But my sadism goes far, be aware of that. ❞

#cosmicfunguy #✞. in character. ➛ deceiver of the damned. #✞. ask. ➛ hymns for the holy. #[ she is trying!!! ASXDCVFXDS ]