#congrats to that blog you probably saved my life/influenced my sexuality and gender revelations and acceptance

[badolmen]

Years ago I held some fucked up opinions, as you do when you’re 15 or so. In a pre-turn off reblogs post that gets thousands of notes telling me I’m a piece of shit and dozens of asks full of rape threats and suicide baiting kind of a way. I don’t really remember most of it because I deleted everything related to it immediately/as I encountered it. I probably have a few hundred blogs blocked that I would consider good and decent people because i was blocking everyone who interacted with that post in bad faith. And because I couldn’t tell who was sending gore and sexually explicit stuff to my inbox and who wasn’t.

I do remember this one blog though. They messaged me asking if I was okay - acknowledging that the blogs in the notes and in my inbox had taken it too far and that I was entitled to being upset by the harassment. They lied initially (claiming to agree with me, although a quick scope of their blog suggested they didn’t but I didn’t bring it up) but eventually admitted that they thought my opinion was harmful, but that it wasn’t just cause for the harm I was being dealt. I remember that their icon and blog theme was something purple-y black.

I deleted the convo as I was with most messages that rolled in at that time - I didn’t want to remember it, and I was in a pretty deep depression spiral well before it took off. But I wish I could thank them. It took one person from thousands to tell me ‘hey your hurt in this moment is real and unjustified. but you do need to critically examine this opinion you hold’ and wouldn’t you know? Years later I cringe at the opinion I held so dear and proclaimed so loudly.

If you’re out there satanist blog with purple and black blog theme thank you; you have no idea how much our short conversation helped me.

#ra speaks #personal #vent ish #sorry I just think abt them sometimes like. fuck. I want to thank them so badly for something they probably don’t remember. #honestly the first three days after that post broke containment I was legitmately considering traditional* self harm I was so upset #*​I have trichotillomania and it did indeed get severely triggered by this harassment #but then this complete stranger who thought I was in the wrong reached out and it was like a promise #that it would pass and I would feel better no matter how helpless and isolated I was feeling then #I don’t want to about what would have happened if they didn’t reach out. I would be in a much worse place now I imagine. #congrats to that blog you probably saved my life/influenced my sexuality and gender revelations and acceptance #not turning reblogs off on this post so don’t be an ass in your tags or comment if you do reblog it