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#christ the anxiety is fucking unreal i literally cant breathe what the fuck
widevibratobitch · 4 months
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turns out that when they tell you some meds have side effects it's actually like. true sometimes?????? weird
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letstalksymphogear · 5 years
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Symphogear, EP. 4 (Cont)
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The gremlin challenges Tsubasa, a Symphogear, whose entire shtick is to sing to channel power, to sing.
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It dawns on her, however, that Tsubasa is part Greninja. Tsubasa used Shadow-Weaving! It’s super effective.
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“tell me, you jellyfish looking weirdo...”
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“hey- hey, time out. are you gonna do what i think you’re gonna do. this is gonna like, kill you. you know that, right? that you will literally die? you do understand you can just retreat now or- or just take hibiki away, right? i even told you that was the whole point of this... uh... oh shit.”
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“ARE YOU READY TO JAM”
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“tsubasa please i will literally lend you my remaining brain cell to stop you from this really stupid mistake”
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Dad has entered the server.
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“oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. o- ryoko. stop breathing on me. this isnt helping my anxiety over my adopted daughter figure literally preparing to kill herself over my commands.”
“sorry babe its just the asthma, forgot my inhaler”
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“i cannot FUCKING believe of ALL the opponents i had to fight i had to fight the DUMBEST one on the goddamn block, you idiot, you absolute dunce, RETHINK THIS”
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“OH GOD SHE’S DOING IT! SHE’S DOING IT! THE ABSOLUTE MADWOMAN- FUCK- FUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE! FUCK! FUCK!”
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“just used up my last brain cell for this attack, pal. you’re through.”
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“NAH, EAT ASS YOU- YOU GODDAMN MANIAC”
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“HAHA YEAH, GOT YOU NOW, SLOW WALKING, DRAMA INDUCIN’, PURPLE RAIN CHANN-”
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“OH GOD! YOU TELEPORTED! YOU’VE GOT SV_CHEATS SET TO 1, DON’T YOU! NOCLIPPING LIKE NOBODY’S BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY FACE”
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“WHOA WHOA WHOA WHAT THE FUCK WHOA I KNOW I CRACKED SOME JOKES BUT WE LITERALLY JUST MET AND I- I GOTTA KNOW PEOPLE FIRST BEFORE THIS SHIT AND- OH GOD PLEASE STOP”
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“OH GOD! THIS... RAW, GAY, REPRESSED ENERGY... IT’S... TOO STRONG...”
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The gremlin could not begin to comprehend Tsubasa’s intense love for incredibly well-built redheaded women.
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Hibiki can, though.
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“SO......... MUCH........... SAUCE...................”
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“.................................................”
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The gremlin retreats after getting her licks. This scene subtly implied something; the Nehushtan armor she wears regenerates over time, which means no matter how much damage it sustains, it will always return in one piece. The same can’t be said for the user, though.
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Hibiki runs to Tsubasa, checking if she’s okay, totally oblivious to the gravity of what just happened.
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“i came just as i could and ive brought happy meals for everyone”
Genjuro asks if Tsubasa is okay.
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I dunno man, this is a pretty tough judgement call here. I mean, is she okay? Pain is a pretty subjective experience, after all.
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“oh my god i get it. i get the joke she implied. she wanted to jam. she’s jammed! cause it- it looks like jam! no, wait, its more like sauce...”
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It dawns on Hibiki that people actually do die during this job.
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Tsubasa, as it turns out, survived her Swan Song. It makes sense that she would because she was naturally receptive to her relic, Ame-No-Habakiri. Still, the injury comes with great gravity. She’s benched for the next season, and it’s likely she’s gonna miss the playoffs.
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Stuck on a respirator on the edge of life, Tsubasa will probably look back at this and go, “Gosh, I was such a wild child. Haha. Almost dying and all.”
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Hibiki wraps her single braincell around the idea of death. Most main characters aren’t familiar with the concept of death, you see, because most don’t die. But this is Season One Symphogear. Flirting with death is common.
Ogawa comes in to comfort her.
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“dumbass had her opponent bound and the gremlin still escaped anyway”
Ogawa then explains shit we already know. Thanks, Ogawa.
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“in summation: i get where you’re coming from, but stop fucking saying ‘im gonna replace kanade’, please, im begging you”
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Hibiki FINALLY gets it, and naturally upon realizing, feels really bad for it. A real right and true asshole.
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“oh thank god i was worried not even that was going to get to you”
Meanwhile, in Tsubasa’s mind...
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“ah fuck me. im trapped in metaphor limbo. see, im falling because i clipped my wing, cause i nearly died, you know, like icarus and shit”
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“hold up my gay senses are tingling”
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Her senses confirmed. Kanade is in her mind, in probably the most romantic metaphor possible. There is absolutely no way to interpret all of this platonically.
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Tsubasa is literally submerged in a sea of her own emotions...
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Involving Kanade, and how she strives to be like her and honor her memory.
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SHE LITERALLY DROWNS IN THOSE EMOTIONS, SUBMERGING DEEPER INTO THE WATER.
youtube
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Tsubasa, in her Symphogear Brand Medical Cocoon for the Dumb and Beaten Down, quietly slumbers in her semi-comatose state as she wrestles the water metaphors of her own sexual identity.
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The poor thing just misses her girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Hibiki sits and thinks more than usual. In a flashback, Genjuro muses about how The Gremlin wanted to kidnap Hibiki.
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“i dunno maybe The Gremlin’s super lonely or shit”
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“i mean if thats the case ill just adopt her too”
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Since Tsubasa is away, Hibiki has to pick up the quota for teenage angst in the 2nd Division. Unfortunately, she has very big shoes to fill, but Hibiki isn’t one for slacking in the misery department. She blames herself for everything.
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“im really going to fire the therapist we have around here for being pretty damn useless”
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“can i be the therapist?”
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“ryoko i am absolutely begging you to filter your bad ideas given the several teenage crises we’re dealing with right now”
Hibiki then yells out, for what is possibly the third time, out of the blue:
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“I HAVE PEOPLE I WANT TO PROTECT”
The flashback ends.
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And speaking of girlfriends.
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“there is no force on this planet stopping me from having some quality fucking time with my girlfriend damnit”
Miku points out Hibiki has been pretty lonely. Says she heard it from a friend who, heard it from a friend who, heard it from another she was messin’ ‘round.
Unfortunately, Miku is a goddamned chad.
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Immediate handholding. Make no mistake. Behind those soft-spoken eyes lies an absolute master.
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“o-oh, my hand, you’re holding it, so smoothly”
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“hibiki, you’re my sunshine. i want to soak up your rays so hard that every piece of flesh of my body is horribly mutilated from skin cancer.”
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“jesus christ miku at least use sunscreen in your metaphors”
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“ill use them just for you, hibiki. just for you.”
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Their relationship is interesting. When one of them is sad, the other sorta acts as an angst vacuum. You’ll see them flip flop with their points of misery with each other, but when together, those problems always melt away.
Of course, emphasis on being together. Season 1 is the worst with keep them away from each other.
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“Just Be Yourself!” Miku Kohinata, Symphogear, 2012.
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“fuck me, you’re right. im the protagonist. i cant just eat shit here the whole time. i gotta do protagonist things!”
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“was that an invitation?”
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“another time. but now... let’s just catch up.”
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And so, they laugh together about how the recorded footage of the meteor shower was all black. Truly the greatest couple of all time.
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It is this realization of being her own self, coupled with her renewed gay energy, and new perspective on what she must do, that causes everything to go uphill for her from here. Take note.
Here is where a God is truly born.
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Tachibana Hibiki.
The end of this episode cuts to a specific dojo.
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Genjuro’s dojo.
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“i dont fuck around with training, even though i probably should have trained you sooner. you sure about this?”
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“dadman either you do this or i will most definitely die next time”
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Part of their training involves watching action movies, because Genjuro is so unreal that he should frankly be a fictional character in the very universe he exists in.
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Fucking adorable.
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“im so conflicted its so clear she’s part of /fit/ now but i cant help but imagine her washboard abs”
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Hibiki balls even harder at karaoke now, due to her Symphogear training, and not because she’s secretly Aoi Yuki playing a recolored version of Madoka.
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Her significant other is mildly terrified at the superhuman that is slowly unfolding her powers before her eyes.
In the end, things all reach their logical conclusion.
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Hibiki becomes a Tekken character, just like Genjuro.
Of course... Miku pushes the fact very subtly that she would never hide anything from Hibiki...
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Turmoil brews in the worst way... soon...
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