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myaoiboy · 4 months

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Rating All The Metal Gears By Hotness

No, not the characters. Yes, literally the Metal Gears. If I forgot any, let me know.

Metal Gear TX-55 - 4/10

This is just a lil guy. A friend, even. Reminiscent of a gonk droid from Star Wars. Sucks that he was made to do murdering. I can see where someone would find appeal, but not really for me.

Metal Gear D - 6/10

This one I can see. He got some depth to him. Kinda shiny. More smooth, less boxy. Kind of insectoid. In most franchises this would be like an 8, but it gets knocked down because of what comes later being so much sexier.

Also can I say that MG2's spriting? Mwah. Chef's kiss. So pretty. Didn't even read the intro the first time I started it up bc I was marveling at the pretty spritework. I fucking love good spritework, just find it so much more satisfying than equivalent-quality 3D art.

Metal Gear G - 2/10

Never actually completed or seen in game. Was supposed to be a smaller, mass produced version of D. Kinda sexy, loses points for being so fictional that it's only theoretical even in the games.

Metal Gear REX - 7/10

OOOO YEAH, NOW WE'RE TALKIN'!! SHINKAWA ERA BAYBEY!!! Man's got impeccable taste. He could make a literal slab of titanium look inviting.

Rex is not the sexiest Metal Gear to me, partly bc Otacon treats it like a son or a pet dog and I find a 25-yo's son-analogue to be offputting. BUT. I must concede. REX is the blueprint for all the sexy traits to come. He's got the hips. He's got the saunter. He's just a lil too brutalist for me.

Metal Gear RAY - 11/10

I know I have psychological problems because this thing's childbearing hips and murderous mandibles distract me during the boss fight.

Why is it so sexy?? What the fuck?? It's like mecha furrybait but specifically for people who are into garrus mass effect. Please tell me I'm not the only one, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend thinks I'm insane.

Arsenal Gear - 4/10

Basically just an aircraft carrier. I would say not fuckable but it DOES, canonically, have a digestive tract and asshole so like. Technically fuckable I think. But at what cost?

Honorable mention for making me deal with Raiden's daddy issues and fight the sexy mech in this thing's enormous rectum (damn near killed 'em).

Shagohod - 4/10

Not technically a metal gear. I can see the appeal, but it doesn't *quite* nail the drider-esque niche for me. It does get a bonus point for the way it moves being kinda sensual tho. Additional bonus point for being piloted by an evil fa-

Intercontinental Ballistic Metal Gear - 0/10

literally could not even find an image of this that wasn't completely dwarfed by the Saturn V rocket attached to it. Not really much to look at. If you've always wanted to fuck a Saturn V, I guess this would be a good way to get introduced.

Metal Gear RAXA - 2/10

Somehow managed to capture "first day of kindergarten" energy in a death machine. I could be convinced based on its behavior tho. Damn, Portable Ops kind of an L design-wise, huh?

Gekkos - 9.5/10

WHY DOES IT HAVE SQUISHABLE THIGHS?? SIR???

And the feet. Like, we gotta talk about the feet. Why? Why the toes? Why does it stomp on me with its weirdly well-defined toes??? Did they make this mech specifically to appeal to dinosaur foot fetishists? Why does it bleed? Why does it MOO???

Extremely fuckable to the point that it loses half a point purely because it *feels* like horny bait.

Dwarf Gekkos - 7.5/10

This is an object that feels like it was designed by and for lesbians. I have no notes. Slightly offputting only due to the odd number of hands but it IS the perfect number for some activities, so honestly that may be a plus.

Metal Gear Mk II/III - 1/10

Adorable. Not fuckable. This is a gopro with a personality. Not to be confused with the vampiric gopro with a personality from Ultrakill, V1. Literally just a baby.

Outer Haven - 5.5/10

Only technically a Metal Gear by virtue of technically being a stolen Arsenal Gear which is technically a Metal Gear. Gains .25 each for being the site of the infamous russian tuant

and whatever fucked up display of devoted homosexuality this is:

also additional bonus point for being piloted by an evil fa-

Pupa - 3/10

This is just the Shagohod but with an AI pod. -1 for being touched by Huey, but balanced out by the +1 from being made by Strangelove. Even if it IS creepy that she made her dead crush/girlfriend's psyche pilot it around.

Crysalis - 6/10

Not super sexy but it does fly and has a rail gun where one could feasibly conceptualize a dick. Kinda MILF-like (has mini-drones). Has a grappling hook, so could do bondage. Probably would, ngl.

Cocoon - 1/10

Pupa, but less sexy. I barely even remember this boss fight because the game became such a rush right around here, pushing you to the postgame/first ending.

Peace Walker - 7/10

Weird dog, functioning by sheer lesbian willpower. She is beauty, she is grace, she would probably rate a lot higher if my emulator didn't suck ass and make me angry every time I see her now, fuck that bitch.

Rage aside, who doesn't love killing their momgirlfriend and then reliving that multiple times throughout the course of a single game, culminating in her just straight up pulling a Virginia Woolf.

Metal Gear Zeke - 6/10

Really just nothing that special. Okay, wait, +2 for being piloted by an evil little girl in her panties for some fucking reason.

Also +1 for the sick ass boss fight.

Walker Gear(s) - 8/10

HERE we go!!! Hell Yeah Babey!!! Basically human sized! Has lil Fuckin' Roller Skates!!! Carries My Ammo! My Best Friend! (Okay, third best friend, after Quiet and DD)

Yeah Huey developed it but it gets WAY more bonus points for letting me manhandle him.

Sahelanthropus - 7/10

I can't deny the raw sex appeal of Sahelanthropus. Also, it's literally piloted by pubescent rage which is something I deeply resonate with ngl.

HOWEVER it DOES get docked points for uhhh

-getting strangelove killed

-making baby otacon a child soldier

-huey :/

Battle Gear - 0/10

Is there even a single frame of this entire thing? Especially without Huey??

negative 1 billion points for blue balling me in the late game, i want to ride this motherfucker right into the kgb outposts and let 'em have it for what they did to babygirl

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vodid · 1 year

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HELLO I don’t have a question but I just wanted to share a funny moment: I saw that u liked one of these rants I went on and I was like OH MY GOD SENPAI NOTICED ME (also more importantly, YOURE ON TUMBLR YESSSS) and I went into a tizzy of fangirling/boying (also is there a gender neutral way to say this) because YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR ART I WAS OBSESSED WHEN I SAW SOME OF UR MEGOP AND OP REELS ON INSTA AND IVE BEEN OBSESSED SINCE and it actually inspired me to start drawing transformers too and yeah sorry if that came across as creepy I just really love ur art and wanted to tell u that and I think you’re really funny and inspiring and very cool and AAAAA anyways :))

I’m okay it’s out of my system now :))))))

YOU. yes i know u hsjdjsjs good rant, excellent fic mentioned, impeccable taste. also very good art, the earthspark megop piece u drew is mwah chefs kiss

i was gonna reblog the rant bc i LOVE to promote that fic (and a tasteful rant 😌👌) but i may have conked out LOL anyway thank you sm waah <3 <3 glad my deranged and thirsty reels inspired you 🥺😌💕 and its not creepy!! its a very great message to wake up to <3 :'D its always wild to me to hear that sort of thing like.. wow that actually happened? i've had that sort of impact on people? <:') amazing

anyway have a good day anon <3 ur doing great with the tf art!

#fan... personing.#fanchilding.....#fan. uh. fan.. kidding.....#ok i gave up and googled. FANBY????#fanbying......#of course its from urban dictionary LMAO #fawning/geeking out/freaking out is prolly ur best bet #cries mom ppl think i'm funny and inspiring and cool!#VERY cool!#feels good ask

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shes-fast-like-me · 4 years

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is there any lifetane fics at all that you know of?

aaaaaaaa good thing you asked because i do!!!

You Can Run (Right Back To Her) by @ian-the-existential-crisis!!! i love this lil ficlet i love the differences between their lives in this and just aaaaa it’s soo good!!!! i love pining octane i relate

one more reason to give ‘em hell by apieformydean, this fic is soooooooo fucking good!!! it’s so lovely and i absolutely Adore their characterisations in this, op really nailed Ajay imo, and i’m head over heels for the subtle flirting omfg

Regular or Long? by @ohthatsviolet holy shit this is comedy gold. Major “babe i’m in the pads aisle what size pussy you wear xx” vibes from this. i had a blast and the teddy bear scene is one of the most adorable things i’ve ever read

It’s so good to be by your side by @hybristophilica this is so short and tiny but so good i’m!!! major heart eyes at this ficlet mwah ily

Something Sweet (Like Sugar) by @xbeaxbeax, holy shit this fic took all of my emotions and absolutely murdered me. it took my very soul and wrung it dry holy fucking shit this hurt me so badly. I genuinely cried reading this it is just. so fucking good i am left speechless this is literally poetic cinema it’s literally poetry it was a pleasure to read no matter how much pain it caused me

just for the fuck of it by @ajays-lullaby!!! this is super cute and super fun and i rlly love it it’s just good wholesome fun content and i stan angie so hard so go read more of their stuff

Slow Morning by @ravagingvaliance, this is such a short and sweet cute lil fic i love it so much. it’s just wholesome as hell and i stan everything about it mwah chef kiss

heaven ‘n’ back idk who wrote this sorry but it’s alright i guess :/ jk i’m rlly proud of it and i actually read this for fun which i don’t usually do with my own fics so you know i did something right

Phantom Pains by jhopeinfiresme, holy shit i remember reading this and it absolutely destroying me i have so much love for this fic it’s unreal. this is just so well written and i loved every single second of it, words cannot describe just how much i adore this fic so much i asked the author to marry me in the comments and they haven’t said no so i’m just assuming the feeling is mutual akjansksjak

first time guilt. by Ishiyan, this!!!! i love this so hard i Live for all lowercase fanfiction, i think this might’ve been the fic that gave me the idea to start writing that way for certain apex fics myself?? anyway i stan this so so hard it’s like poetry

A Favour by @mirage-babey first of all, please check out her miraith fics too because oh my god i adore everything this woman creates. secondly i Adore the way this is written idk what it is it just flows so nicely and is so pleasant to read

aaaaand that’s just a couple off archive of our own! i’m sure i’ve missed some that were posted onto tumblr instead so if i stumble across those again i might just add onto this who knows! anyway thank you for asking and letting me spread my love for these amazing works of art. please go read them, follow these authors and comment something nice!!!

#i love each and every single one of you people who wrote these #please feel free to ask for my hand in marriage i will happily accept #lifetane #apex legends

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seoafin · 3 years

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HSKSHSJS THANK YOU??? My art is not as good as twitter fan artist 😔 I need more practice

I just saw the spoiler and I don't know how to feel about yuta. At first I thought it's hilarious why they make yuta looks like some cool mysterious character in the opening when he's actually a timid op cinnamon roll. I guess I was wrong this entire time😀

Also that yukata one👀 please stop giving me idea to draw I have too many wips😭

I can imagine gojo dragging everyone to buy snacks in each food stalls, saying it's his job to review it, especially the sweet one. Of course he's the one who pays

YOUR ART IS CHEFS KISS 🥰❤️❤️ I LOVED THE DRAWING SM!! AND I LOVED RIP!MC she’s so cute....

also yeah my boy yuta definitely went through a midlife crisis at 18 or sumn bc he has dead eyes 😭💀 hopefully we'll see the prequel yuta or not

summer festivals and yukata’s are just...mwah my favorite shoujo manga chapters!!! that and going to the shrine together on new years...anyway I’d love to see anything else you draw regardless if it’s ripverse or not consider me a fan 😳

#gojo would do that....#and the (rare) ones he doesn't like he makes geto eat LMAO #also I am writing fluff just for you #offering accepted 😁#.jjk ask #chocopukis

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riskeith · 3 years

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hii!

manifesting xiao for you!!!!! it surely will be worth it after all that wait and all those rolls shsjdhsj <3 you’ll probably upgrade him and his weapons and talents and all that right away too, huh? spilling all your recourses on one stotic lil boy 👅 (can’t say i blame ya he deserves it) FUNNY YOU MENTION THAT when i did the guiding light seal puzzle before the stormterror battle i accidentally forgot to change kaeya’s weapon to the ones i’ve upgraded so he was stuck with the dull sword and i was like why the FUCK doesn’t he do any damage and then it hit me . yikes 😬 Lmao has that ever happened to you?

oh really? reading all of that makes it seem like we’re in the bad end of the stick dhdhdjdjfh but you made me curious to try it out tbh... now where could i get a hold on a pc..... hm

yeah omg you’ve gotten so far now i can’t imagine how bizarre it would be to revert back to giving like 10 dmg and facing level 3 villains lmao still sometimes even i find myself missing the early days things weren’t as stressful then ): do you?

school did start which is why haikyuu is perfect!! it’s been keeping me very warm and happy tbh... 🥺 you know something i noticed this time watching is that kagehina are Always around each other. i honestly don’t remember them doing that but watching now it’s like at almost every scene they are either standing next to each other or showing up to the other’s scene and it’s like??? damn???? y’all live like this? idk if that changes in future eps but right now it’s Constant. i love it.

dude i’m such a nostalgia person i’m always up for a trip to the good ol’ days bc sometimes you just gotta go back to things for your own sake. but fun Fact i started watching voltron after it ended so i missed so much of the hype while it was ongoing.. literally came into it while it was a goddamn mess. i knew that klance wouldn’t be canon but watching i couldn’t help but hope... how was it stanning while it was ongoing?

(you saying that reminds me of the what if we kissed meme..... what if we kissed in the genshin co-op mode 😳 anyway you’re at such a high level idk how much i could help you... i suppose we could just run around but yeah i do play in europe... 😭)

RED AND BLUE GAYS!!!!!! RED AND BLUE GAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the purple light were mega gay like hello????? especially since lance is bi and it was Him that said the line and hfjdhdhsjdjdhdj fuck ! i’m so sad now ever since we started talking about them i’ve just been missing them sooooo much it’s crazy... KEITH DESERVES THE UNIVERSE he’s so sweet and caring in his own way and he grew so much like compare s8 keith with s1 keith and see!!!! he matured so much and god . at least he’s helping the galaxy with his lesbians now

dude i wanted to say that but i was scared it was an unpopular opinion.... hunk and pidge could be so mean to him sometimes for no reason or just shoo him aside and no??? don’t do that to your friend????? it irked me sometimes bc you could see that he got upset about it but he felt like he had no one to turn to 😭😭😭😭😭 kms but keith. keith is good.

THE I LOVE YOU SCENE did it also take you sooo much by surprise like i remember watching and just going AAAAAA??????!!!??!!?? and the art???? mister anime keith kogane?????? it was so beautiful and so perfect and so sad ughhhhhhh funny how keith has 2 out of the three i love you scenes on voltron even tho he’s the stotic type .

i’m thinking but honestly all i want is some fluffy angst... a punch in the gut with some final kissing . i love fics that rewrite the sunset scene always chefs kiss... or you know how in season 7 for some reason they always called out for each other first? like when lance has his crashing scene keith yells out lance come in twice??? or when they are stuck in the galra prison and they yell out each other’s names???? idk something about that would be amazing to read???? ok i rambled idk rewritten canon klance is just Mwah... OH IM SO EXCITED TO READ THOSE SNIPPETS EEEEEEE :DDDDDD TY FOR SENDING THAT

i’m soooo glad you liked the fanart when i saw it i HAD to send it your way... it’s the little bois in their animal hats 😭😭🥺 i love them so much it’s soooooo cute 😭😭 i’ve been stalking the original tweet and there’s some other version and they’re super adorable too 😭😭😭😭😭😭

hope you had a wonderful day today + yesterday... take care <333

hey heyyyy~

actually i don’t think i have many resources to give him bc im focusing on levelling up my team for the ascension rn FJKHDSKFHSDKJFHSDK but for sure i will do it... anything for him 😩 AHAHAH nooooo but yes ! during the chalk prince dragon event i used festering desire in dragonspine but my higher levelled sword everywhere else, but sometiems i forgot to switch back and was stuck with shit damage 💀

yeah actually i see a lot of poeple complain about not being able to do missions on mobile either (or having a really hard time with it) fskjhfksj but there are for sure people who would think mobile is better so 🤷‍♀️ to each their own! ahah does anyone in your family have a windows laptop/pc? steal borrow it 🤪

i definitely miss the easier days!! it’s fun going to an area with lower level enemies bc i defeat them so easily.. but then again their drops also aren’t as good so you trade one thing for another i guess lol

ikr?!?!?? like we get it you’re inseparable omg.. it’s so cute when they go seek out asahi as well and hinata hides behind kageyama and then points and at him like he’s showing him off.. lives in my mind rent free 😌

oh i see!!! that’s so brave of you omg you knew all that and still decided to give it a shot? fshfkdsjf. it was. insane. like talking about the positives only, it was just everyone going crazy every time there was a single hint of klance is canon king and just ugh. it was all so exciting and hype and like the energy you know?? especially when there were conventions where they were revealing trailers or new info wow tumblr was buzzing.. (reminds me of when klance was top ship.......) i miss that kinda environment tbh! but also now that i’m in uni i don’t think i’d have the energy to keep up fhskfjds

(WHAT IF WE KISSED!! IN GENSHIN CO-OP!! HAHA JK... UNLESS?! that’s so funny fskdj but i wish 😔😩 makes a second reroll account just for this? HAHAAH. and noooo even if we didn’t do anything i feel like it’d be so fun just running around hfkdsjs. and maybe i could carry you w your quests it’s always been my dream to help someone out like my brother can just come into my world and one-shot enemies 😩 but maybe some day!! cross-server will happen)

:((((((((((( S1 KEITH AND S8 KEITH THE GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT 😭😭😭😭 keith went from being a lone wolf expelled from the garrison to finding his MOTHER!! AND THE BESTEST SPACE WOLF DOGGO!! AND LEADING A FKN ITNERGALACTIC ORGANISATION!~!!!eASKJDHSAFHEHFSDIUHSAZODUQWEQWYRHIASKJDNCSOUADHB. marmora!keith............. both a blessing and a curse.... but that uniform tho 🥵

i cried!!! so much watching that scene lmao!!! can’t remember how i felt at the time but i was probably also surpirsed.. and ikr? that’s poetry in its own tbh we love that keith said the most ‘expressive’ and ‘emotional’ lines the most

sunset scene... sunset scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg yeah them just calling out for each other’s names first like??? explain please?? omg also remember when keith chose lance in the quiz.. AND LANCE CALLED KEITH THE FUTURE? FUCKING EXPLAIN???????? WHAT THE FUCK!!!!! there is no heterosexual explanation. okay but now that you’ve put sunset scene in my head... either rewrite where lance was looking for keith to confess to him bc they were going back to space and he wanted to get it out or.. in the future where klance are together and lance has a dream about it and suddenly realises wait. did keith already like me back then. and then they talk about it ... hmmmmm . AND WOOOO NO PROBLEM!! HOPE YOU ENJOY <33

i def have to look at the other versions!!! honestly this meme is kinda the best thing out there rn so many cute baby renditions of charas.. blessed!! i love them all sm...

thank you!! hope yours have been great too, and school is treating you well :**

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post

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