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#cause covid and planes and big sad but idk we'll see if it wont get cancelled like my last trip did
theantiproduct
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2 years
Text
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#everytime i open this app it looks completely different
#anyways heres a lil update rant tired blabbering tags post cause why nottttt
#so my health is shit and i have about 300 test to get done and i honestly am so stressed out over this that i cant even function
#and u know whats funny about it all is i originally went to the doc to maybe get diagnosed with adhd and i was which duh but thennnn
#the funniest thing happened
#took the meds and i was actually feeling a lot better and more productive! who knew thats an option but then my dic was like
#we should do an ekg just to make sure youre good to take these
#so obviously my hr was super high which let to more tests and more experts and haha i cant do this anymore its exhausting
#so i cant take my adhd meds and i have an appointment every other day for the next month
#oh and btw when i was feeling better for like a week or two i started dating again cause why not! do not have enough going on atm
#met this guy been on a few dates but its nothing really i guess right cause i cant get myself to kiss him even tho i want to
#cause im so scared of intimacy and so scared of being vulnerable so he's probably gonna ditch soon cause why wouldn't he and
#what am i doing trying to date when i have these issues
#i just want something good yknow im so tired and i just need like a good cuddle
#im gonna be visiting my brother in January after 3 years of not seeing him and the kids but thats obviously stressing me out too
#cause covid and planes and big sad but idk we'll see if it wont get cancelled like my last trip did
#good rant ty tumblr for not shutting down yet
#personal
#update i have an autoimmune disease and 300 more tests to do and pills to take
#fun to be me
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