#carlos figueroa | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dweemeister · 2 years

Photo

The Scapular (1968, Mexico)

Also known by its original title, El escapulario, Servando González’s The Scapular is one of the finest examples of classic Mexican horror filmmaking. For those versed in modern horror, adjust your expectations. Atmospheric from its opening moments and making full use of its sparse environments, this movie does not depend on bloody set pieces or instant frights. Instead, The Scapular prefers gradual storytelling through flashbacks, all while it refuses to answer how any of its unlikely events might be possible. The screenplay by González, Jorge Durán Chávez, and Rafael García Travesi navigates questions of Catholic faith, political preferences during the Mexican Revolution (1910-1920), and love amid more grotesque moments one comes to expect in a horror film. Those horror elements – of spirits staying true to their word – are most prominent at the very beginning and second half of the film, and absent for almost all the first half. A major contribution from cinematographer Gabriel Figueroa – regarded by some to be the greatest Mexican cinematographer of all time – and his Hollywood-influenced lighting elevates the movie, bathing the screen in intoxicating black-and-white.

Something during or after the Mexican Revolution, Father Andrés (Enrique Aguilar) pulls into town on a late train, following an unseen individual to the residence of Doña María (Ofelia Guilmáin). While the padre and the unseen person – the camera nods “yes” in response to a few questions from the padre – amble through town, two bandits follow close behind. They have been stalking Father Andrés since he disembarked the train, hoping to pilfer his gold watch. They decide to wait until after he administers his sacraments to Doña María. Inside, Doña María – whom the padre knows almost nothing about – hands the padre a scapular (a primarily Catholic garment of piety), which she claims to have saved the lives of her two eldest sons. El escapulario, for most of its remaining runtime, flashes back to the stories of those two sons, Julián (Carlos Cardán) and Pedro (Enrique Lizalde).

Once a soldier for the Mexican government, Julián defects and joins the rebels in their fight against Porfirio Díaz’s dictatorship. For Pedro, he is working for his uncle at a saddle shop, but has his eyes on the village chief’s niece, Rosario (Alicia Bonet) – in his attraction, class tensions come to a head.

Servando González, Jorge Durán Chávez, and Rafael García Travesi’s screenplay does the best it can with an unwieldy story structure. Though El escapulario is a breezy eighty-five minutes, the flashbacks for Julián and Pedro both feel slightly too long while the audience is itching for a macabre payoff. Nevertheless, the screenplay juggles numerous themes without ever feeling forced. Discussion about the Mexican Revolution is mostly confined to Julián’s story. At times, the dialectic between Mexico’s then-contemporary military dictatorship and peasant-led revolution sounds too much like propaganda. But given that Doña María is responsible for imparting this story to the padre (and, by extension, the audience), one can expect some over-romanticizing the revolutionary cause. El escapulario firmly sympathizes with the revolutionaries – following how popular historical memory is in Mexico today. In Julián’s story, this ideological conflict takes place entirely within a military and revolutionary backdrop. Civilian perspectives are not present for this part, but there are mentions of a groundswell of support for the revolutionaries. Acknowledging these partisan emotions and political interpretations, viewers who have not seen the entirety of The Scapular should accept the bare facts of Doña María’s recounting of Julián and Pedro’s stories as truthful – even though she was not present for any of the moments she describes. To say more risks spoiling the entire film.

Pedro’s chapter of El escapulario is less explicitly political than his elder brother’s, but related tensions persist. Pedro, firmly in the working class but not poor, inspires the wrath of Don Augustín (Jorge Russek, who played Major Zamorra in 1969’s The Wild Bunch) by even looking longingly at his niece, Rosario. Don Augustín is no moustache-twirling villain, but his disregard for his fellow villagers and overinflated opinion of himself make clear his sympathies for the Porfiristas against the revolutionaries and peasantry. Director Servando González keeps the focus on the brothers in both flashbacks, rooting the film through the perceptions of those with little to benefit under the Porfirio Díaz regime. It is in Pedro’s story that the first bits of horror filmmaking appear since the film’s opening minutes. Occult, perhaps darkly religious, forces influence developments as Pedro disregards Don Augustín’s advice to avert his wandering glance from his niece. These moments hinge on the scapular, as Don Augustín enlists others to intimidate – by force, if necessary – Pedro and Rosario from even thinking about each other.

In those moments, cinematographer Gabriel Figueroa’s work truly shines. Figueroa, who, in 1935, lived in the United States for a year to formally study his craft under Gregg Toland (1940’s The Grapes of Wrath, 1941’s Citizen Kane), certainly learned much from the man he considered his teacher. Even after returning home to Mexico in 1936, Figueroa continued to analyze Toland’s work closely – from chiaroscuro techniques to deep focus cinematography. But even before leaving for America, Figueroa’s work as a still photographer exemplified someone with a keen eye for composition. And long after his time under Toland, Figueroa would shadow some of Hollywood’s best cinematographers on his trips to Southern California; Toland himself, when visiting Mexico, would make suggestions and critique his old student’s work. Figueroa also enjoyed the privilege of friendships with Mexican artists Diego Rivera (who counseled him on how to use color – a story for another time, as El escapulario is a black-and-white film) and David Alfaro Siqueiros. Siqueiros provided Figueroa advice on escorzo or, in English, foreshortening. Foreshortening is an artistic technique on perspective that allows an artist to portray something that appears to be closer or shallower than it is.

Foreshortening becomes crucial in El escapulario’s second half, as the narrative descends in into the grisly and ghostly. A nocturnal horse ride during Pedro’s chapter stumbles upon a horrific sight, aided by foreshortening, sharp but still-horizontal angles, and quick cuts as the horse begins to buck wildly – spooked by unnatural forces that animals in movies just seem to pick up on faster than any human. The lighting’s influence on this scene’s mood is impossible to replicate if this was a color film. El escapulario’s final two scenes – by chicanery, candlelight, and cobwebs – are the culmination of what Gabriel Figueroa picked up from the likes of Toland and Siqueiros. Even when traversing an empty street at the witching hour or in a desolate room, there always seems to be a presence watching and waiting. Early morning mist appears to curl around the characters, like wispy hands. I am uncertain how this effect was achieved, and it might be seen as campy in most other contexts. Here, it is as if unknown forces are toying with the characters’ souls. It is spectacular camerawork from Figueroa, in his only collaboration with Servando González in a career spanning more than two hundred movies.

Viewers could also approach The Scapular from a religious context. The lines between life and death, faith and the absence of it, are tenuous. Catholicism and Catholic metaphysics are present from the prologue, impacting the dialogue and behaviors of all of the characters from their moments of introduction. Those more familiar with Catholicism in Mexico – the 2020 Mexican census says 77.7% of Mexicans practiced Roman Catholicism – can hopefully make more educated and nuanced contributions to religiously-inflected analyses of The Scapular than I possibly could.

The Golden Age of Mexican cinema, in some ways mirroring, but distinct from, a similar Golden Age for the nation’s northern neighbors, had been concluded for a decade when Servando González’s El escapulario premiered in theaters in 1968. Though some Mexican horror movies flourished before the end of that Golden Age, the films that fueled – and continue to inspire – Mexican horror cinema followed the footsteps of Fernando Méndez’s El vampiro (The Vampire; 1957), a late Golden Age film that broke through in a filmmaking and moviegoing environment heavy on melodramas and Westerns. The writing of this chapter of Mexican film history continues, still hampered by the 1982 Cineteca Nacional fire that destroyed several thousand Mexican films, screenplays, and books and an anecdotal domestic disinterest in Mexico’s cinematic heritage.

With thanks to the Academy Museum of Motion Pictures in Los Angeles and guest programmer Abraham Castillo Flores (also Head Programmer at Morbido Fest, based in Mexico City), the reclamation of that history is underway. Yours truly was able to see a restored print of El escapulario with complete English subtitles, although some audio hitches – especially in regards to the film’s score – remain. The technical mastery is apparent across El escapulario, and Servando González’s directorial vision and Gabriel Figueroa’s visual flourishes are worth the watch even for those unaccustomed to non-contemporary horror filmmaking. El escapulario is a visual treat, a chilling entry into the canon of classic Mexican horror.

My rating: 7.5/10

^ Based on my personal imdb rating. My interpretation of that ratings system can be found in the “Ratings system” page on my blog (as of July 1, 2020, tumblr is not permitting certain posts with links to appear on tag pages, so I cannot provide the URL).

For more of my reviews tagged “My Movie Odyssey”, check out the tag of the same name on my blog.

#El escapulario #The Scapular #Servando González #Enrique Lizalde #Enrique Aguilar #Carlos Cardán #Federico Falcón #Alicia Bonet #Ofelia Guilmáin #Eleazar García #Jorge Durán Chávez #Rafael García Travesi #Gabriel Figueroa #Gregg Toland #My Movie Odyssey

4 notes · View notes

starlighthan · 2 years

Text

PAINTING FAITH

read the revised and extended version here!

pairing: non-idol!seungmin and fem!reader

featuring: several skz members, an oc

genre: angst, fluff, sci-fi, rival gang au, forbidden lovers au, lowkey sunshine x grumpy au (an au in chloe gong’s these violent delights)

warnings: spoilers from the actual book, a curse word, mentions of death and murder, weapons, government problems haha, sensitive content (killing, blood, character death)

word count: 6.5k words

synopsis: in the middle of a secret mission of the heirs of two of the biggest gangs in makan, the solano and leyva gangs, you stumbled upon your secret lover in a ball arranged by the makan president’s family, the figueroas. you spent the night with him until tragedies ascend.

mini-playlist: monster - paramore | warning! - day6 | lover of mine - 5 seconds of summer | far too young to die - panic! at the disco | immortal - marina

tag list: @plutominho @hwangsify

note: hi :DD it’s been a few months! i’m a little rusty so bear with me with this fic, i think it’s a little messy </3 here’s a fic heavily inspired by a book that i enjoyed! please do note that a lot of parts here are based on the book, and there are original stuff from me as well! there were changes from the similarities such as city/country names, family names, etc. heh this is not-so-proofread too btw since i want to post this right away lol i hope you guys enjoy this one! i hope this won’t flop bc i really like this one a lot rip ig jk

Glittering chandeliers above you, you prance around the expansive function room. In all honesty, you thought that it was a gorgeous venue. But you weren’t surprised at how glorious the room is because it is a property of the family you somehow loathed, the Figueroa family.

You fear that Caasi would change even more, especially after the growing madness around the past month — that monster. The horror took the lives of the innocent and some Leyva members by ripping their throats without their gut feeling.

After pocketing a sketch of the creature in the office of a government official that half of the country admires, Ereden Carlos, you have no idea when you will see such a creature like that. Minho, a cousin of yours (and the secondary heir) under the Leyvas, reported that a Leyva member saw the beast with their own eyes on a random night — you were frightened at how powerful that creature could be. It could be more powerful than you, the Leyva gang, or Leyva and Solano gangs combined.

“You don’t have a mask with you? We’re in a masquerade ball,” you hear your father mumble, taking the view with you on your seats while taking a slurp of the pasta in front of him.

You roll your eyes. It wasn’t a requirement if the Figueroa family wanted your presence and not your masks to hide your identities. “You don’t have a mask as well, am I correct? If you don’t have one in your pockets, then I don’t have any with me too, Father.”

Without any surprise coming from Lord Leyva, he shrugs and continues chatting with the strangers at the same table as you.

You truly treated them as strangers despite the familiarity tied between them and the Leyva gang. Of course, it was the Figueroa family.

Despite categorizing the financial capabilities of your gang as nearly the same as that family, you despise the carelessness they attain within themselves. This is why Caasi is holding on to the Leyva and Solano gang to keep the country alive. At this point, they were begging to have the two gangs lead Makan, but unfortunately, none of you have the highest power to do that, even if you have the strongest connections to those up there.

You never followed the conversation between the family and your father. After all, you were there as support — unnecessary support — for your father. Aimlessly looking around and enjoying the food was all you did in your seat, and you didn’t want to ask for more.

“How about you, Miss _____? How are you doing?”

You stopped twirling the noodles around your fork, slowly raising your head to where the voice that ruined your mood came from within your table. Oh. It was just some random Figueroa family member that you didn’t damn care about.

Your eyebrows furrowed, answering bluntly, “It’s none of your business.” You lowered your head by an inch, glancing at your plate, and returned to take a bite. “Weren’t you talking to my father the whole time? I thank you that you didn’t acknowledge my presence until this point.”

It wasn’t shocking that the Figueroa family was taking your statement seriously. Although you also expected that they’d brush it off in a little while, it seemed like they were still in a state of confusion on whether that was sarcastic or genuine.

You, on the other side, behaved like whatever you said was nothing. Indeed, it was nothing to you. Why would you bother with a bunch of corrupted capitalists?

Before one of the Figueroas opened their mouth to speak, Lord Leyva ended the conversation with a peaceful greeting and dragged you out of your seat to the nearest corner of the function room.

“_____.” Your father sighs, rubbing his temples to control his temper that erupted randomly. “You shouldn’t have said that! You know they have the capability of exiling you or killing you.”

You snorted and shook your head in disbelief. “Father, you probably forgot that we also have the power to do that, right?”

“Yes, we do, but right now, we can’t—”

Lord Leyva wasn’t able to finish his sentence. “All of a sudden, we can’t? Why are you underestimating the Leyvas all of a sudden? If only there weren’t that many people right now, I could’ve brought out my gun and killed them with my own hands.”

Why was he siding with the more significant problem this time? Besides the madness occurring in the past few weeks, Makan has been at its lowest because of the Figueroas. You have seen Makan, specifically your city, Caasi, lose its colors to the grimy black — the people were suffering, the city’s polluted, and the feel of Caasi was no longer what you felt when you were a child. Unfortunately, being in a gang like the Leyvas exposed you to the monochromes of the world. The worst imperfections stood out more, and blood and dirt were more evident everywhere. All of the colors were indeed lost, and it was because you are a Leyva.

Even the ability to kill without remorse made you question your existence. What if you weren’t a part of the Leyva clan?

Without hesitation, you walked past your father straight to the balcony. What if you really weren’t a part of the Leyva clan?

You leaned on the arc, right below the arch ring. That question brought some memories to the back of your mind flawlessly.

“Wouldn’t it be great if we grow old like this?”

“Like what? Hanging out by the pier all day?”

You nodded with all of your might. “Away from all of the things our families have been doing. Away from what could happen to both of us.”

Seungmin, curious enough, scoots more to your side. “What do you think will happen to you and me?”

You heard numerous times how your father and your relatives come home scarred, wounded, or worse, weakened by losing a lot of blood from missions and fights outside the home. You were expecting that you and Seungmin would go through the same thing.

Worse, the rivalry between your clans could progress, distancing you, feeling helpless. You’ll have nothing to do but fight each other and go home on your own bloody and vulnerable because of the feelings you had for each other before all of the commotions you had to deal with just for the sake of being a part of a gang.

“Losing you, each other, and our life.”

Seungmin hums, lightly placing his arm around you and holding you tight, “You’re not going to lose me or each other — even our lives. We’ll be fine, _____. Let’s appreciate that we could still do this despite the rivalry between our families.”

“That’s because we’re still kids, Seungmin. Once we become older, all of this wouldn’t be fine,” you anxiously said. Both of you are still clueless about the ins and outs of this world and the role of being a notorious gang member. Your destiny is like this: you’ll be innocent and gullible about everything, learn the truths of reality, then your mind and heart will change.

Hopefully, your mind and heart wouldn’t change. You hope that your thoughts and feelings for Seungmin will never fade.

“There’ll always be a way for every problem. We’ll get through this together,” Seungmin rubs your arm and softly pulls your head to his chest, holding you slightly tighter than before.

If you weren’t a Leyva, maybe you immediately got your happily ever after. Perhaps you don’t have to go abroad to study and guiltily leave Seungmin.

Too late.

“Good evening to you, Miss Leyva.”

Someone interrupted your thread of thoughts. Looking beside you, you see Jisung Isidro with a glass of wine. A fucking Isidro again? When can I get out of this room full of attention-seekers?

This guy visited you a week ago to ask for your hand of approval in the Isidro-Leyva partnership for a particular project. Knowing that his father was persistent about the same thing to you a week before Jisung’s visit, you kicked him out of your home and repeatedly said no to his offer.

Without listening to his blabbering mouth, the word ‘attention’ was etched on his face, indicating that all he wanted was clout and your mere consideration for his existence.

Unfortunately, Jisung was expecting you tonight since he sent a letter a few days ago that he was looking forward to meeting you again at the masquerade ball.

With no introductory greetings, you go straightforward with what you want to say. “I said no to the partnership, Jisung. Can you stop pushing me if I said no multiple times already? Is the word with only two letters, no, unclear to you?”

All Jisung did was giggle at you, which struck a nerve within you. He fixed his coat and went right in front of you, standing at the center of the arc. “Oh, don’t worry, _____! I understood that. I decided not to pester you or your family about that.”

Smiling wide with blank eyes, you impatiently ask, “Then, why are you here?”

Gasping, Jisung wonderfully clasps his hands together. You immediately know there’s something wrong behind those eyes. He’s going to bother you about another random thing again.

“I would like to go after your heart there, pretty girl,” Jisung shortly points to your chest, “your affection, you know? Heh, if you don’t mind—”

So, he just finds you pretty?

Cross him out right away. You have no time for a guy who’s chasing a woman for her beauty.

Being a big name in Caasi, you received compliments for looking similar to your ethereal mother. You admit that your mother is one of a kind, but you were always annoyed over how being beautiful is the only compliment you receive. Was it because you exude a ruthless vibe? With your dominating voice and outspoken mind, people find you intimidating aside from the fact that you are pretty.

You have no time for a man like him. You are here, an heir of the Leyva gang, trying to save Makan from a hideous monster that has infiltrated the streets and houses of Caasi. And you have someone else, someone who you think is better than him on so many levels.

“No need to chase for my love and affection, Jisung,” you sighed, slumping your shoulders to show your lack of interest in his new pursuit. “I have a lot on my hands, and finding a significant other is not a part of my bucket list at the moment.”

You achieved it for a while now without anybody’s notice.

The bubbly, weird guy was planning to change your mind until you two heard somebody clearing their throat.

You glance at the masked man near you. “May I have a word, Miss _____?”

Shit, you know that voice. Seungmin?

You forgot that he planned to snatch the drawing you pocketed. You returned to your home with Seungmin following you silently on the trip for the sake of protection. He saw you get into Carlos’ office and go home with a tight grip on your coat. With that minor detail, he knew something was up.

When he pretended to visit you so he could get that mysterious paper in your inner pocket, he failed to steal it but brought home the invitation to this masquerade ball. Both of you were still sneaky with each other, making you laugh over how much Seungmin failed with his attempt to get the sketch without your permission.

You look back at Jisung, waiting for his final words.

With much annoyance, you furrowed your eyebrows and glared at him before waiting for his greetings. You quickly decided not to waste time and let him leave with your own hands. “So?”

Jisung bowed and sighed with disappointment evident on his face. You guessed he was desperate for your attention for real. You’d never thought that he was attracted to you anyway. “I’ll get going then, Miss Leyva. Thank you for the quick chit-chat.”

While waiting for his exit, you glance at the view outside the arc. The grass was glimmering after a light rainshower before the ball started. Trees and buildings surrounded the small field, making the gazebo look enchanted. You’d not dare to take a short walk to the gazebo — you might go home, Lady Leyva pissed off at how soiled your gown and heels were from the wet dirt of the grass field.

“How beautiful,” you finally hear Seungmin.

You agree. This was the type of view you wanted from your room. You were so used to the urban side of Caasi, houses and buildings standing side by side, filled with people going in and out of places besides you. You would say that you’re on the busy side of Caasi. The territory of the Leyvas is in this area. “Very relaxing after that absurd conversation with Sir Isidro.”

“I mean you, _____. Beautiful,” Seungmin corrects, “you’re beautiful.”

You pull his mask from his face and drag him outside the function room. From the eyes of the stranger, the scene looked like you were attempting to torture him. And guess what? That’s what’s probably going to happen.

“Seungmin Solano,” hissing, you drop his mask and gracefully drag the knife out from under your dress, “the heir of the Solano gang, don’t you dare do this outside, especially on my territory.”

His presence in the Leyva territory in Caasi could get him killed instantly. Between the two of you, you are the protective one. You want to attain such privacy in the secret relationship that you’ve been keeping. After Seungmin betrayed you years ago for a mission, you ghosted him to leave Makan and return with unresolved feelings; you had to keep this one since the rivalry between the gangs is still wildly alive despite working together privately to stop the madness within the country. Members of both groups are still hesitant to collaborate, even if it is the only way to find the cure.

If anybody catches your revived romance, your families may abandon you or kill you. You are very sure that Minho wouldn’t hesitate if he knew. Both of you would get replaced by other potential heirs, like Minho.

You’re only working together for the sake of finishing the madness. And you’d rather not have this relationship delay or add conflict to your progress or future missions.

“I have an urgent matter with you, _____. Jeongin and I found something new that can help us with the madness—”

You pull him further away from the function room to the nearest corner of a building. Gritting your teeth, you push him further to that corner, “Your cousin knows what we’re doing? I told you we should keep this a secret! We could get in trouble if anybody saw us together.”

Now, you sound like you do not like this relationship. You despise that you two are forbidden lovers in a time wherein both of your families relentlessly kill each other — wanting to see the last man standing. What could be left is both of you if you keep safe and protect yourselves together.

Everything would’ve been so different if Seungmin had proceeded to stab you in your chest years ago. He knows that he wouldn’t do anything to harm you, but father’s orders, he said.

What made him stop seeing blood seep from your heart? Your heart it is.

He loved you too much. Even if he betrayed your trust once by killing your grandfather for Lord Solano’s validation, he still loved you. And he still loves you. He’d risk anything to keep you alive, which includes him invading your territory and visiting you at the masquerade ball. As long it’s not you who’s dead, what Seungmin thinks every time.

“Put the blade down, _____.” Seungmin grunts, resisting the steel on your hand. “We’re away from any people to be seen. No one’s going to see us here. Put it down.”

“Please.”

And that was the signal for you to bring down the blade. “What brings you here, Seungmin? Keep it quick too, maybe?”

Seungmin chuckles. “Jeongin and I discovered that the monster produces those insects that get into people’s heads.”

You hated how straightforward he was for this matter; how he said that the monster and insects were one; how he and his cousin found out perfectly. It was ridiculous to think that Seungmin would never get the correct information because he always does get everything he wants and needs.

You took a deep breath. Everything’s not clicking yet. First, you know that the Isidros have the cure to the madness, then Ereden Carlos holds the information about this monster, and now this? “Do you know any relation between the Isidros and this monster? I have some suspicions with Carlos already, but not with Jisung yet.”

Seungmin hums. Nothing was in his head just yet. He was still dazed at how you pointed him with that sharp knife that came out of nowhere. Although, there could be relations between Isidros and the monster.

“It’s more of the relation between Carlos and the Isidros. They may be setting us up, probably trying something out to lose the people’s trust for the gangs.” He gets back up on his legs, straightening his back and pulling down his coat. “It is possible that Jisung got some information about the monster from Ereden and created the vaccine formula so the Isidros could be back up there while the Leyvas and Solanos go down since we didn’t do anything good with the madness this time. They’re gaining power.”

Cursing under your breath, you walk in circles on the grass. Before it is too late, more information about Ereden Carlos and the Isidros is needed. The vaccine might have boosted the Isidros’ name since their business became dead in a heartbeat after a foreign company settled in the city. Only the Isidros, Carlos, and almost anybody associated with them has the answer to ending this madness.

“I think I could lure some info from Jisung,” you stopped, looking back at Seungmin. “I think he’d be glad I’m suddenly interested in his matters. I could go in the other day, hopefully.”

Seungmin took a few steps, tilting his head out of curiosity. “And for tonight? What can we do?”

Oh, you know Seungmin has something in mind. That look on his face tells you it’s something out of your mission. The glint on his eyes, that goofy smirk, and the wiggling eyebrows tell you that he has something foolish to say.

“What are you going to suggest, Seungmin? Say it,” you roll your eyes, “I just want to get over whatever’s in your head.”

You will never get used to Seungmin’s tomfoolery. He has always been the type to do things outside of what his family wanted. Even if his mother warned him to stay away from any Leyva, he fell in love with you. He was not allowed to hang around any place outside their territory not to cause any trouble — he still wandered around, even intentionally walking to a city nearby Caasi. Caasi is smaller than other cities, after all. Although, despite being smaller than those, your hometown is still big regardless. People would be desperate to use horses or bikes to travel around Makan, especially during summer.

Seungmin invited you once to visit a farm outside the city. He wanted to show you a discovery that he found on his own. He wanted you to enjoy life outside of being a gang member. And when both of you enjoyed your time prancing around the strawberry fields, he knew the risk was worth it. Seungmin’s heart was beating so fast because of that smile on your face when you saw the greenery and the sun shining brightly above you. Of course, he’d do anything to see the joy in its most visible form — you at that time.

That was one of the moments that he treasured so much. He didn’t care that he got scolded for coming home late as long as he knew that you had the most fantastic time of your life. He loved the risk of being with you. It gave him more reasons to quietly rebel for an extension of his freedom — more reasons to be with you without any prejudice.

Until this day, even if he still unsuccessfully tries to bury the guilt he felt for killing your grandfather, he’d still want your love. He still wants you despite breaking you multiple times.

“Let me bring you to the pier again?”

Again?

“Did you know that the pier only reminds me of one thing?” Seungmin carefully reaches for your hand, taking a deep breath. “You.”

The question and the touch of his hand felt like electricity climbing up from your feet. It was almost like you got shocked that you got stuck. You never knew Seungmin associated the pier with you and you only.

Seungmin found the daze on your face, giggling and shaking his head. He always found your reactions so adorable, no matter how deadly or soft it looks. It was his way of thinking that you’re just that animated and expressive, and that’s also one of the things he adores about you. With his soft touch against your rough skin, he says, “Whenever I see the ocean, I feel safe. I feel relaxed. I hope you know I think the same way as you by my side.”

The sweet words of your lover are not enough to touch your heart to its fullest. You mumble, “You probably forgot that I fear the ocean.”

Seungmin’s smile on his face drops, “I was trying to be romantic here.”

Pretending was your asset. You had to push Seungmin further. Waving it off, you tell him, “It’s not working, Seungmin. Try harder.”

The man in front of you smirks and tightens the grip on your hand. “Will you trust me?” Oh, he knows his second attempt to fluster you will work. His plan is simpler but stronger than the waves that crash loudly from the pier.

You’re probably going to trust him with this one — even with a small ounce of doubt because of the mischievous expression that quickly returned on his face. You’re aware that he will not stop until he satisfies you. “Fine. Go for it.”

He quickly picks up his mask from the ground and pulls it back to his face. He assumes you still have no expectations for what he could do, so he gently snakes his arms around your waist. Leaning to you, he asks you, whispering near your ear, “You up for a dance in there?”

Pulling his head back, he checks your face for any response, hopeful that you were good with the subtly risky request. All he saw was your lips quiver, unsure of what to say.

To be flustered was an understatement for you. His touch around you was electrifying you once again. The soft words to your ears gave you goosebumps.

“_____?” Seungmin traces circles on your back, still waiting for any answer from your mouth. He returns his head to where it should be, placing it on your shoulder and tightening his arms around you. When you stiffen around Seungmin, he chuckles. “Are you still there?”

Feeling like you’re unable to find any way to reciprocate the physical affection, you mumble, “Yeah, I’m still here.” Leaning your head over his on your shoulder, you finally answer him, “A dance would be nice. Just make sure your identity is covered. I don’t want you to get caught, please.”

“I don’t want to lose you. Don’t die.”

Those two sentences pulled Seungmin’s heartstrings. Even if avoiding death is a big oath to live by, he’d do anything to stay with you.

Losing each other has always been a topic you two talk about, especially in intimate moments like this. It was your way of declaring your love. It was your way to say that you’re never letting go of each other. Barriers and distress always come around, and you’ll let it pass every time you encounter them together. It was hard to be apart, hurting alone, after a piece of tragic news like losing your grandfather. What’s unfortunate was that it broke you more than usual because Seungmin did it. Your secret lover did it without fully holding himself back for you.

The two of you became numb that tragedies will always arise because of your social standing. You both resorted to surviving on your own and not delving into the casualties within your own families. Why?

Because, in the end, only one will be standing amidst this feud. And losing anybody hurts way too much. You and Seungmin were hopeful enough that there’d be two left standing, or for the better, everybody could still live, and the rivalry would be over.

Unfortunately, the duel is still going on too strong, and it’d be a long way to make peace.

“Such a heavy promise, _____.” Seungmin grins and looks down for a second. “But, yes, of course. I’ll always make sure that I’m still here alive. Even if our families tell us to tear each other apart, I’ll live because of you.”

Here lies Seungmin and the promise to possibly break. He wouldn’t mind committing to a vow like that. He’ll do anything for you.

You breathed out heavily. “This feels so wrong, Seungmin. But I hope you know that I love you, alright?”

The shakiness of your voice alarmed Seungmin. He knows what that meant. It was your occasional doubts about your relationship.

You had this before, too, when you were young. Yes, your families were unfortunately aware of your relationship, which was your problem. Simply being together will always make you question who will make the first move in threatening the other. No matter how space gets big or small between the two of you, both of you will always have a weapon ready to kill the other because your family said so.

“This is your chance to kill the rival gang’s heir, _____. Kill him.”

It felt right and wrong. You should’ve done that earlier if you did not fall for Seungmin. But if you did not fall for him, you wouldn’t feel the emotion of love and happiness if you buried yourself with anger and misery.

It felt wrong because you had your whole family behind you, looking forward to every chance to kill Solano’s intelligent and romantic heir.

It felt right because you escaped the sorrowful life of being a part of a violent gang temporarily every time. You finally felt the butterflies on your stomach, the blushes, the goosebumps, and the tingles.

And Seungmin’s your first and last love.

You know he'll always be the one even if you’re separated by force or dead in each other’s arms.

“I love you too.” He finally moves away, reaching your hand. “I know you’re concerned about us, but it’ll be alright. You’re safe.”

Stepping back into the building, he pulls you into the function room past the arc. Soft classical music and the aroma of the menu filled your senses, comforting you somehow. The fear of getting caught with a Solano by your side, holding your hand, ruins your mood, a flat expression visible on your face.

Seungmin beside you should be reassuring you. He covered himself with a dark blue mask and an outfit he wouldn’t usually wear. The navy blazer, white dress shirt, and black slacks should be enough to hide his identity. He’s known for wearing black from head to toe here in Caasi, a city of color. Whether that was his jacket, t-shirt, or even his shoes, they were black. Any Leyva wouldn’t notice him now.

He looks nice, cleaner than usual — a nice change for one night.

He brings you to a small space in the middle of the room, filled with pairs slow dancing to the music. Seungmin slips his arms around your waist once again, looking forward to your touch on his skin for another time.

You lightly place your arms around his neck, tying your hands together behind him, your skin touching the nape of his neck and his smooth collar. “Can we not make us too obvious here?”

He nods. “Quite a challenge, but anything for you, Miss Leyva,” he smiles. You want to remove his mask so bad. You want to see him smile at you with his whole face visible to your eye.

If only you two were dancing privately, you’d pull that piece of fabric in an instant.

Anybody can stumble upon your conversation, so you start with a discussion that is enough not to notice the sweet words and gestures. Hushing, you ask Seungmin. “I wasn’t able to ask you this earlier,” you chuckled, tilting your head, “but how were you able to discover the monster and those insects? How did you know they’re… one?”

He shivered over the memory but tried to answer you as calmly as possible. “We saw it on our way home. We found the monster releasing all of the insects from its back.”

“I was expecting as it’d get out of the monster’s mouth. That was a bummer.” You two laughed. Shaking your head, you ask him further about his discovery, “In all seriousness, did any of the insects chase you two after getting out of the monster?”

His mouth twitched. “We almost got the insects on our heads.” Seungmin felt the hands on his neck get heavier. “Hiding was our best option — we covered our heads with sacks, sitting behind boxes. The insects lost us when we ran away.”

You closed your eyes, relieved enough that Seungmin didn’t reach death by a tiny but lethal creature. “Thank god none of you got bitten. I’d be devastated if any of you gets bitten by that insect. We shouldn’t be losing any more people here in Caasi.”

Fear crossed Seungmin’s face behind the mask. Aside from you being one of his priorities, he had to finish what was breaking the city. They should move as soon as possible. People die every minute, and it has become a norm, something way too normal to see.

Incidents of dying because of the insects became regular, receiving multiple reports within a day. He once saw one die in the distance, noticing that the people didn’t care and the nurses nearby just dealt with the lifeless body immediately.

Seungmin agrees with your statement, humming with contentment. The madness should indeed end as soon as they could. “If you’re going to the home of the Isidros, you must send a letter right away,” his brows drew together, “I am very sure that we’ll get anything to stop this madness. I’ll even go with you to make sure the information is safe—”

You tap his shoulder to stop his words. “No, I’ll be the only one going. I don’t want to give you that risk of going there with me.” Trying to lower your voice down, you continue. “Right after I visit, I will tell you everything in detail to ensure we didn’t miss anything to find answers.”

Seungmin, right then, realized that you established your desire of wanting him to live. But what about you? Will you be the one who needs to face the danger every time? “Everything we’ve been doing for the past few weeks has been a significant risk, _____. Accompanying you to their manor wouldn’t hurt as the things we previously did—”

“Take your hands off of my cousin, Solano. I know it’s you.” A voice boomed around the room, followed by a gun click, the weapon pointed right behind Seungmin’s head.

When Minho popped into your head with that hell of a display, you gently pushed Seungmin away, facing your cousin. This time, the gun is right in front of you. “Dear cousin, put that down—”

Minho resists. He points at Seungmin with his other hand, his forehead creasing with much aggravation, “I know that voice, _____! It’s—”

You reach for his wrist, ensuring he’ll not shoot anybody in this room. “No, it’s not. Leave the poor man alone, Minho. The stranger’s harmless. Solano would be gone in a second if he stepped into our territory, right?” You take a look around the room. You caught the sight of who you assumed was Jeongin, who took a careful step forward in case anything happened to his cousin. You warn Minho again with a soft voice, “Everybody’s scared of your gun, Minho. Put it down, keep it.”

You glance at Seungmin, waving your hand at him to quickly leave the scene. Minho sneers. Before he got the chance to speak, the silence broke with a woman’s cry.

No.

Someone’s dying. Again.

You want to break down on your knees and cry. With such instinct, you yell to everybody to get out of the room. Desperate enough to save more citizens, you push the ones nearby to the door.

Noticing that more people slowly reach for their throats and kill themselves, blood flooding near tables and chairs, you try your hardest to push to your limit and put the people to safety. One by one, people are ‘possessed’ by the insect on their heads to end their life, and you feel so mad at yourself for that.

You failed to save them. They could’ve lived longer if that insect didn’t fly silently to their scalps.

Holding your tears, you take a deep breath and continue to rush to the people around to get out. You can’t break in front of all of them while trying to save them. Keep that for later and finish this.

You hear a familiar voice calling for your name. You quiver. This feels wrong. So wrong.

Running to where the voice is, you found Felix, Minho’s younger brother, and another beloved cousin, resisting his hand to reach for his neck. Your jaw clenches, straddling his waist and meeting your hands with his wrists to join him from not becoming a part of the madness’ pitiful victims.

Chanting his name, you hope the resistance would last, and he’ll live. “Please, I don’t want to lose you too.”

Please, let him live, you prayed.

This is what you don’t want — losing precious people. Why does this keep happening to you?

You didn’t notice with your heart full of anger and resentment that you were already crying and breathing heavily. Looking behind, you get your body up and step on one of the legs shuffling on the floor.

“Felix, hold on. Please, don’t put your hand on your neck!” You shout. Your chest is getting heavy metaphorically. You try to keep your hands on his wrists, feeling the pain on your fingers and wrists from the force Felix’s arms are pushing against you.

With his consciousness still alive, Felix has been trying to put his arms down not to claw his neck. He hated what came for him. Felix knew what you were doing for the city. He knows that you’re finding an end to the monster. But he’s been holding on way too long for his energy not to go to waste.

And perhaps, this is where he ends before your mission does.

You saw the eyes of your cousin, your brother, slowly lose their sparks. If he stopped himself a little more, you’d let go of one of his hands and search for the insects in his head.

You felt someone touch your arms from behind, pulling you back. You thought everybody got out already, including Lord Leyva and Minho.

“_____, let him go,” you hear Seungmin grunt, pulling your hands away from Felix. You want to scream, to resist more along with Felix. You’d seriously do everything to keep one of the most valuable people you ever had alive. You’d hate yourself more if you leave this place with your dearest cousin dead and gone.

Feeling the strength of his hands to reach the neck get stronger, Felix slowly loses his energy to keep up and shallowly tells you, “You heard him, _____. I’ll be okay. I don’t want you to get these insects to your head either.”

“No, Felix,” you shake your head vigorously, repeating a few more before stepping your foot away from his leg and leaning to his chest, sobbing harder than before. “You mean a lot to me, Felix. I don’t want to lose you too.”

Technically lying down on his chest, you feel your tears fall to your cousin’s brown button-down. Seungmin reaches for your arms once again, pulling you away from him.

Seungmin calls for your name, telling you to get away from him immediately if you let him go. Sniffling whilst holding onto Felix’s pale wrists, you share your last few words with him.

“I’ll make sure I’ll end this madness for you, Felix. I’d hunt down whoever started this, whoever made you die like this.”

Seungmin jolted at how every word from your mouth felt like fire. Gripping on your limbs, he asks if you’re getting up. When you said yes without such emotion, he quickly pulled you up after you finally removed Felix’s wrists from your hands.

When you get back up on your feet, you pull Seungmin into your body, covering your eyes with his chest and your ears with his hands. You chose not to see how your cousin died with his own bloody hand.

Seungmin holds on to you securely, covering you up until Felix is truly lifeless. He shudders when he looks back at Felix’s body, his left arm lying on his chest, his hand painted red, and his neck sliced open. He wanted to give you a great night, only leaving you a catastrophe that might’ve changed your life for another time.

He removes his hands from your ears, stroking them on your head to check if any insect flew to your head. “He’s… gone now, _____.”

Your hands fall from Seungmin’s waist, moving back to look at the body — rage courses through your veins at the sight of your bloodied cousin. You crave violence even with no absolute idea of who started the madness. You want to kill who made these creatures with your own hands.

Killing the culprit will be the only thing that will satisfy you for a lifetime.

Seungmin’s name fell off your lips, wanting his attention before you end the night. “I’ll send the letter to the Isidros tonight. Let’s end this as soon as possible. Meet me at the usual spot tomorrow first thing in the morning. ”

You guess you ate your own words. You’re not numb to losing people at all. You still care for others’ lives.

72 notes · View notes