#can't focus. i should sleep bc i gotta meet my boss at 8

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#bleh brian is not working. too much static #can't focus. i should sleep bc i gotta meet my boss at 8 #but things i will also do tomorrow: call my fucking insurance to figure out how to use it #bc i have weird out of state insurance from my mum so like idk. but i gotta do it bc im gonna try to get an appointment with a psychiatrist #bc my brain needs psychiatric attention lol #but also the lab mate i went sampling with today recently got diagnosed with adhd and gave me the name of the plsce #and i was like tell me what ur symptoms r like. and like if i have adhd it would b the plot twist of my life #but also i have horrible horrible executive dysfunction issues and related to a lotta what she said so idk #its just that i guess adhd has always been framed around not being able to meet deadlines in school and stuff #and im like nah im good at meeting deadlines. im horriblly anxious and compulsive so i dont forget or miss deadlines or dates #but my apartment and life out of school are in shambles bc i just originated around one draining focus #and i just lay in bed and cry bc i cant clean my fucking apartment and my sink is becoming obstructed by clothes that for some reason i #cant move? like fucking i dont kno. i tend to associate my broken brain stuff to dyslexia #bc when i was tested they were like lol ur short term memory is fucking awful. very below average lmao #so i was like oh my brain is not wired right. cool. but i dunno. i just need someone to assess my brain and tell me what's wrong with it #like i dunno im still doubtful of adhd as the source but its at least more convincingly on my radar. i will doubt until i have a diagnosis #in hand lol. but gotta find psychiatrist 1st. so gotta call tomorrow #it will happen. i will make it happen #unless the day goes off thr rails lol #unrelated