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#can you tell ive loved homura akemi for more than half of my lifespan
sasupark ยท 9 months
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Homura Akemi is Selfless and Here's Why!!!!
I've thought for so long now that Homura did all the sacrifices she did in order for her to BE WITH madoka but actually?
I'm starting to change my mind.
In the anime, when Kyoko asked her what she wanted to do when they killed Walpurgisnacht, all she said was that she's "going to leave the city". Considering her history of sui**de ideology, it was a little unnerving for her to say that. Moreover, she doesn't make any attempts to look redeemable in Madoka's eyes either, which means she has little to no interest in involving herself directly with Madoka even if she survives.
Additionally, when Madoka became a God, she was heartbroken about it, but she ultimately respected her decision, even if she can't feel Madoka there most of the time (so much that she started doubting her memories of madoka). It's why she was so mad in Rebellion and insistent on finding and ending the witch that trapped them in the barrier, because they were "disrespecting Madoka's sacrifice" by existing.
Also, her witch's labyrinth in rebellion revealed that she'd always wanted to have a fun and normal life with all her fellow magical girls, living out their days in perfect harmony with them, not just Madoka. Sayaka and Kyoko who are complete opposites of each other are simply bantering, sayaka herself doesn't seem to hold anything against homura either (which its more than implied that sayaka hated homura in many timelines). Homura had always cared about all of the girls in varying degrees, as she'd always done something to try and save them from their fate, although all of them were futile. But since she had always seen Madoka as the person who cared about her the most, when the other girls started to pose a problem for her safety, she will set them aside in order to prioritise Madoka.
Anyway, when Homura finds out she was experimented on by kyubei in order to one day gain control of Madoka, she curses herself into becoming a witch. When she was saved, she knows that Kyubei are now 100% sure of Madoka's existence and it wont be long before she's controlled.
Homura became a "demon" in order to prevent Kyubei from rendering Madoka's sacrifice useless.
She did do it for love as she claimed, and maybe to an extent, yes, she is controlling madoka, but it is to ensure that she does not endanger herself again. She doesn't even bother making herself look good in their eyes after she's rewritten the timeline, she embodies her role as "the villain" much as she had back in the anime when she ended up looking like a psychopathic weirdo.
TLDR; Homura's main goal is not to Have Madoka, its to Let Madoka Exist, even at her own expense.
And that's how it always has been.
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