#but. i'd love to play with this concept and write a mikey who's angry at having his choices taken away from him. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

revengesworn · 7 months

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thinking about agency + mikey and a different take on the final arc/ending. this may be controversial and i absolutely welcome discussion + disagreement here! in fact i kind of crave it. please.

honestly mikey is such a tragic character in part because he has like. no agency in his life, or at least very little. like he has no control. all because he's been cursed for something that wasn't even his fault whatsoever, he's basically destined to lose control at some point, and there's nothing he can do to save himself, not without relying on someone else to end the curse.

it's got to be so frustrating. he's never making choices in the series with full knowledge of what the future will bring. and in the end, when he's told about his fate in the futures takemichi returned from, he finally makes his own decision for once! he's finally able to achieve something, even if it's through sacrificing himself - he's able to protect his friends and achieve a happy future for them. it's not something he wanted for himself, but he wants it more than he wants them to suffer.

but in the end, that decision is snatched away from him. takemichi goes back in time and everyone is suddenly in danger again - and his decision has been completely ignored. draken dies as a result - and in the end, takemichi does too. of course, in the end, they DO manage to save everyone, and takemichi's decision was the right one, but...

on the one hand, should mikey be allowed to sacrifice himself for everyone? takemichi and the series itself would say no, because no-one should be forced to take on everything alone. mikey is wrong in his assumption that he has to bear everything by himself, it's unhealthy, and sometimes, when you care about someone, you can't just respect all their decisions and let them do whatever they want.

on the other hand, wasn't it still his choice to make? mikey never gets the chance throughout the series to choose a future for himself, and ultimately he plays no part in saving the people he cares about or himself. takemichi chooses to place everyone's lives in danger (and i'm not personally blaming him for this at all mind you) against mikey's wishes, and people actually do die as a result! if it weren't for the (entirely unexplained) miracle at the end of the series, they would've stayed dead, too.

idk where i'm going with this. i just can't help but feel that mikey's own powerlessness is extremely tragic. even then, i'm inclined to want to believe in the series message - that no-one should be forced to take everything on all alone. but is it okay to ignore mikey's own agency in getting him to change his mind?? it's just really interesting to me. does this make any sense at all or am i just saying words at this point idk i'm tired

#ooc #i'm going to regret posting this in about 5 seconds because i fear it's unfair on takemichi #so disclaimer: i love him and i don't blame him at all for anything he did in the series tbh #but. i'd love to play with this concept and write a mikey who's angry at having his choices taken away from him.#who has to deal with the frustration that he was never able to save himself too; though the first part is more important i think #come into my ims and discuss agency + tr with me pleaseeeeeeee ;w;

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nardos-primetime · 28 days

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RANDOM WRITING BECAUSE I CAN'T SLEEP.

"You gonna throw us away too?"

Tw//Mentions of child neglect/abuse, overall bad times all around, angst hours, Leo has a bit of a melt down

(Damn the Draxum's Side ideas go crazy in my brain I don't even know if this Canon or not yet I just wanted to cook. Aka this is barely proofread and I haven't slept we run on willpower alone.)

Leo hates the concept.

After all the work they've done, accepting Draxum, Baron-fucking-Draxum into their family, they learn about this. This... bullshit. That's all he can really call it after all, bullshit.

"And you didn't tell any of us?" Splinter asks.

"Drax, we said no secrets!" He can hear his younger brother's voice crack, choking on his words.

"...I had forgotten. It was not my intention and by the time I'd remembered I didn't want to—"

"To what?" Donnie pipes up from his right side. "You break any established law of yokai morals once again, and given the chance to fix things, you lie, and you hurt people? Real great work on your redemption, Buddy, ten-out-of-ten."

"Donnie—" Raph reaches out to calm the other

Leo stops his hand, raising his head to glare at this poor excuse of a family member he foolishly, so fucking foolishly let in. "You threw them away."

"It..."

He looks around the room. Playing stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. That's all any of this was, it was just Draxum playing stupid to get an easy way back in. He could've reformed himself just fine on his own if he really meant it, but no. No. He had to use Leo's little brother to carry himself right to the manhole of their warm fucking family with NONE of the struggle involved.

"—it was my intention, yes."

"Oh my God, Draxum," Mikey drops the familial remark they normally use as his arms slump.

"How old were they. And you threw them away."

"They... physically... they had just gotten towards the ending of their toddler years... it... it was some months ago, you will have to forgive me..."

"So you forced them to grow faster with mystics?!" Donnie blurts, Draxum tries to speak again. "No, I don't CARE! I don't care if you know more about it. Do you know how that looks?! You know we know they wanted you arrested for your experiments, WHY would we trust you to say it was healthy!"

"You gonna throw us away too?" Leonardo crosses his arms.

"Of... of course not, you're like sons to me! I... I've appreciated all you've done despite my... former actions, and I—"

Splinter turns to him and shakes his head. "Do not speak," he whispers as he looks at Leo. It makes his skin crawl to see that pity in his father's eyes.

"Fuck you. Fuck you. I heard them, they called you dad! You're a piece of shit, they NEEDED YOU!"

He walked into their lives with none of the fucking struggle and has the fucking gall to act like he's sorry. Like he knows. Like he had a father who fell into disrepair when he needed him. One that broke down and left to snore while you and your brothers took care of each other.

His face scrunches up, and his chest hurts. "You two fucking deserve each other."

"Leo, Leo, no—" Mikey wipes his own face.

"You two are the perfect duo!" He laughs, for some god forsaken reason he laughs. "One didn't care enough to help his kids train for basic life and the other seems to have fucked up so bad his kids want him DEAD!"

"Leo, no! Dad's sorry, we know he's sorry, he loves us!"

Why's Mikey defending Splinter? Why's he of all people defending Splinter?! He was the youngest! He needed him the most when dear old dad became too tired to cook or play or get clothes or do anything. Mikey was at the most risk!

He... he was too young, that's it! That had to be it because that's the only way any of it made sense. "You don't remember shit, Mike."

Silence.

The guilt tries to ping up from his stomach and his lungs, squeezing his organs just enough to make him feel nauseous as soon as the words leave his mouth. It just makes him angrier. He doesn't know why, but he's angry. He's so angry.

Things were finally coming back.

They finally had a functioning unit! And Draxum had to—

"Leo, you need to apologize."

Who said that? He can't tell, and you know what? He doesn't care. There, he said it! He doesn't fucking care for once! Leonardo Hamato DOESN'T FUCKING CARE BECAUSE NOBODY CARES-CARE-CARED -WHATEVER ABOUT him.

"I don't need to do anything you guys say. Y-you're just making shit up at this point!" He cares.

"Leo, calm down."

He cares because it's not fair.

There's a hand on his shoulder and it feels gross. Irrational. There's a part of him that knows this is all so Irrational as he shoves it away and throws himself back.

He cares because sometimes he wondered if Draxum would've been attentive. If Draxum would've filled that void in their family. If maybe he'd reached out to Draxum's offer, he would've been valued.

"Leo!—"

But he's gonna do everything again.

"Get away from me."

And only Leo can see that.

"L-Leo?"

He scrambles to get up as he tries to grab the handle of one of his blades. "Get away from me."

Stupid voice cracks.

It's so stuffy in here. His stomach hurts and memory after memory is hitting him far too quickly for him to process. He thought it got better, he thought it was all better now. He thought it getting better was enough he, thought he didn't have to bring anything up and it would all go away he thought he thought he thought.

Since when the fuck does his thinking ever result of anything good, anyways?

He stumbles onto his feet and holds the blade out.

There's voices behind him, he can't differentiate them and frankly he doesn't fucking want to! He kind of wants to feel bad for once. That's so gross, he's so selfish. What a baby. Why's he so beholden to his emotions? They don't even make sense! If he leaves he'll get all numb again. He won't have anything to give him a sense of purpose but God he's going to throw up if he stays here.

He thinks of anywhere but here. Anywhere but here in this hellhole he fucking loves so much because it's his home and it's all he's really known. He thinks about anywhere but his family, the man who tried until he totally suddenly "couldn't", his brothers who fucking hate him and they should why wouldn't they he's having a hypocritical meltdown like a baby over shit that happened years ago that nobody else cares about!

And the man he finally called dad yesterday.

Anywhere. But. Here.

He hears one last thing as he throws himself into the warm light of the portal.

"We love you."

For a second, he forgets to tell himself not to look back, but it's alright. He can't see anything through his tears anyways.

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