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zyx · 6 years

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fav mutuals and why? let's spread some love 💓

i had this in my inbox for so f long, im sorry :/ also i wanted to say that its a cliche but i love all my mutuals lmao i mostly added ppl who ive known for a longer period of time ?… anyway sorry again for replying like 2 months later oops!

@jjngwoo ; i think lucy is the person ive known on here for the longest time, i can’t even remember how long its been… like 8 years skjdkjf and i love her a fucking lot. we sometimes spend a lot of time w/o talking but when we talk again its like time never passed. i hope that at this point she knows how much i love her and how much i care about her. she’s super sweet, and nice and funny and i love having her in my life :(

@thatsummerain ; anna is like… the only person who know me best? like she knows a lot of things that i’ve never said to anyone else and we dont talk a lot lately which its so f*kin sad but she has always been there for me, has listened to me when i needed and she..just has been an amazing friend to me. i wish i could be a better friend for her, but i guess sometimes i just focus too much in my own problems and im a mess so i feel like im not a good friend. but i love her so much and i hope she hasnt forgetten and uh yeah :(

@louiswmalik ; please ash is like… my long time crush lmfao i dont remember who followed who first but she has always been like a zouie queen so i kinda admired her from afar and i was happy she was following me and that she actually liked me ajksjkf cos she’s so cool and idk, im glad she re-followed me when she knew my new identity lmaoooo and just. im happy we’re still in contact and that im able to see her pretty face every now and then !

@nellyhoran ; rita can suck my ass for all i care?????? but akjsjkf honestly i hate her sometimes but she’s like. i love being friends with her even tho we dont agree in a lot of stuff. we’re mostly always saying dumb stuff when we talk lol but when we have like deep conversations its like….. interesting LOL. we have a lot of memories and yes, im gonna mention that one time we were drunk off of our asses and did a lot of stupid AND embarrassing things…….god. she’s super funny and always make me laugh and always make me want to block her but we left that behind just like we did with [redacted]. mi ratmommy …luv u

@blazinginbus1 ; honestly i dont know anyone thats as nice and sweet as emily. ive told her this a lot of times but idk what i did to deserve someone like her in my life. she’s always encouraging me, and telling me nice things when im feeling down and whether or not i believe her its nice to know someone cares and that i have someone out there i can always talk to. we havent talked much but the times we actually did been nice. em is funny, caring, and such a positive person that everyone deserves to have in their lives. im glad i met her and i love her a lot!!!!!!

@birdmen ; kjskjsf pls we have like the most iconic relationship. i think we never talked when we were both into 1d, it was until we both were free from them that we started talking abt how we dont like henry ajksjkf also e sent me one video that changed my life forever and thats basically what tied us akjsjkf i liked how it never was awks to talk to her, and how until now we can message each other about literally anything and itll be like we’ve been talking every day. they’re really easy going and thats what i like the most about them!!!!! im glad we’re still friends and uhhh ilu e :(

@magnusgoatee ; jo!!!!! she has always been so nice with me since day 1! we’ve talked a few times when we were both zouies lol and its so nice to be still mutuals with her cuz i love her so much and i love seeing her on my dash!!!! also i love having jo as a friend on fb ajksjf i wish we can be mutuals till one of us deletes lmao

@myloxylcto ; i??????? love rehab like we havent talked in so long and i dont even know if she still likes me even a bit lmfao but she has been one of my faves ever and :((((( i love telling her how pretty she is cuz its true… also as far as i remember shes still my gf so… :) i got di most preddie girl ! shes so funny and shes just…. iconic, a queen, id die for her

@dokyungsu ; UHHHHHHH what can i say abt ren…… she’s like super nice akjskjf and idk i love how we just kind of started interacting and then she just became my babygurl~ and she’s always so nice with me????? like telling me cute things and i love her a lot, i wanna get to know her more tho. college can choke cuz its taking her away from me……..

i love everyone who ive ever interacted even if it was just once….. but…..yeah akhskjsf

#i hate these type of asks cuz #everytime i just want to @ all my mutuals lmfao #im sorry if i didnt tagged u i love u im just dumb :(#anonymous #answered #im me not tagging kpop mutuals skjsdjkf #only ren.. and well lucy ajjdf

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datshq · 7 years

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Fic: I will be your lighthouse

Birdmen Week 2017: Light

Summary: (Pre Chapter 7) Mikisada likes Eishi for a simple reason. For such a dark and gloomy child, he could light up like no other. Relationships: Mikisada & Eishi friendship, Mikisada & Rei friendship

AO3 link

The first thing Mikisada learned about Eishi was that the kid was "weird". He'd been just a third-grader, so anything more complicated than that was beyond him. At least, that was what his sister had claimed.

Mikisada had figured that it was because of the new kid's gloomy face that people thought so bad of him. Eishi had also kept to himself, preferring to sit quietly by himself. Mikisada had never heard Eishi speak with anyone so he hadn't known if he spoke as harshly as he glared, but the look of his eyes alone had been nasty and full of dark things.

It was because Mikisada had been just a dumb kid that he'd thought it was so simple, that darkness was the shadow of something. But darkness was a lot of things, from the absence of light to something just being deep.

When Eishi tricked and tripped up Mikisada and his entire group of friends, Mikisada thought that maybe Eishi had such a dark look because there was so much stuffed into him. Clever plots and schemes and thoughts and plans.

Mikisada already had a bunch of friends, but they were really simple and not deep at all. They pushed him around because he was the smallest, and Mikisada decided he didn't want to push others around, especially not someone like Eishi.

It was such an easy decision, to decide to make friends with Eishi. He was so clever, cool and dark and Mikisada figured you could never have too many friends.

No else seemed to agree with Mikisada on that latter front. His friends turned on him when he started hanging out with Eishi, the pushing around turning into actual picking on. It was hard to understand for a little kid, especially since he wasn't good with complicated things like your friends not liking your new friends and not liking you by extension.

In the end, Mikisada never had to understand it. Eishi understood the situation right away and solved it. And as Eishi solved it, he did the most amazing thing Mikisada had ever had anyone do; Eishi took Mikisada's thoughts and feelings into account.

Mikisada would always remember the way Eishi's dark eyes had been lit from the inside when Mikisada had told him he considered the group still to be his friends. It had been weird, seeing the light chase the darkness away, but it had also been profound, and it was clear Eishi had been moved.

After all, "Kamoda still considers you guys his friends," was what Eishi had said to justify letting the group of bullies get off the hook one last time. It had been really cool, so when Eishi suggested he take up karate, he did so.

That time wasn't the only time Mikisada got to see the darkness flee Eishi's eyes, but those glimpses of light were fleeting, because, well, Eishi was kind of a gloomy person. He was negative and worried about the worst case scenarios, but he didn't let that keep him still. Eishi might not have lit up often but when he did, it was bright and powerful, because Eishi himself was a strong person despite everything.

Eishi grew even darker in middle school, and he seemed to treat it like an inevitable change. He didn't really do anything to combat it and Mikisada's duties to the basketball club kept him busy a lot of the time. But when he could, he'd hang out with Eishi, tracking those brief glimpses of something brighter.

Mikisada didn't obsess about those glimpses of light or count them, but he did notice when Eishi was in a brighter mood, even if only because it changed Eishi's face so much. His eyes were more open, his expression lax and relaxed.

When Mikisada got kicked out of the basketball club, Eishi got blank. Mikisada knew it was because he was feeling conflicting things. Eishi was sad, because he knew Mikisada liked basketball and he'd always valued Mikisada's happiness, but he was also glad, because now Mikisada would have more time for him.

Mikisada wondered if Eishi hated himself for thinking that, so he said, plainly so he wouldn't be misunderstood: "I just liked playing, the company wasn't that good." He had been tossed aside pretty casually, just like in grade school. It hurt, to be regarded so slowly but he managed a smile for the person who'd never put him down like that.

"Your company is always the best, Ei-chan!"

And there it was. Eishi's eyes widened, bright and glimmering with an inner light. Mikisada grinned and he made himself a promise. No one else would matter, nothing else would matter, as long as he could keep this. Everything else he could either accept or deal with.

So when they became Birdmen, with three new people to join their close-knit group, Mikisada figured that it would all be fine as long as he and Eishi stuck together. Sagisawa must have noticed because he once asked about it, soon after they all transformed, trailing him in a school hall and asking about his and Eishi's deep, intimate friendship.

"So, what is it about Karasuma that you like so much?" Sagisawa asked, and Mikisada couldn't really lie or refuse to answer, not when his face was so open and sincere.

"The way he lights up," Mikisada answered. "He mostly does it just for me, but it's..."

"Amazing!" Sagisawa burst in with a passionate tone, face flushed with energy. "I just knew there was something special to your bond!" The shorter boy clenched a fist in a gesture that instantly made Mikisada think of Eishi. "Such pure friendship."

Mikisada scratched at his cheek, embarrassed at the other being this excited over it. "Yeah, just, don't bother Ei-chan about it too much. He gets embarrassed easily."

"No worries!" Sagisawa promised. "I will be very discreet." He started to wander off. "So long, Kamoda!"

"No, wait!" Mikisada turned to follow after him. "You mean you are going to bother him? Come on, don't do that."

"But I need details!" Sagisawa said with determination. "I want to hear both sides of this magical bond of friendship."

Mikisada looked at the back of the boy's head and was suddenly struck by a thought. He thought about how Eishi's eyes searched the sky, yearning for glimpses of something he hoped to get to but feared never reaching. He wondered if Sagisawa's eyes also grew dark when he was alone.

"Yeah, sure," Mikisada said then. "It's not like it's a secret, and you're our friend too."

Ah, apparently Sagisawa's eyes could light up too. Mikisada's words seemed to have lit a beacon within them.

This group of friends wouldn't just drag him around before leaving him to dust, Mikisada realized. He returned Sagisawa's smile and wondered in passing whether or not his eyes lit up as well from the realization that this was friendship and it was his.

#birdmen #birdmenweek2017 #rei was the surprise mvp for this piece #blindsighted me while I was writing

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