#but tumblr and the internet writ large can't handle nuance so anyone with flaws is automatically the devil

[professor-doc-emeritus]

I do not understand this bizzare narrative around himym thats formed in the decade since it ended claiming that ted mosby is a Nice Guy™. The trademark characteristic of the Nice Guy™ is that he never actually gets laid because he puts forth zero effort and feels entitled to sex just for Being Nice™. This could not be more antithetical to ted mosby's character. Aside from the fact that the man has a new woman on his arm every fucking week, the entire gag of ted is that he tries way too hard with every woman he meets and ends up getting in his own way. He has never once in his entire life rested on his romantic laurels. Plus, he has an iota of self awareness, and is occasionally capable of acknowledging when he has been/is being an asshole, something that is impossible for the prototypical Nice Guy™

Ted's actual toxic trait is that he created an imaginary perfect woman in his mind, and then projected the image of that perfect woman onto every single person he dated, and then resented them for all the ways they don't measure up to his fantasies. Then, instead of actually addressing the problems he has with his partner head on with them, or learning to compromise, or god forbid just quitting while he's ahead, he just ignores these irreconcilable differences, hoping they'll just one day magically go away, until inevitably everything boils over and he goes through a nasty breakup. EVERY serious girlfriend ted has on the show has a massive, obvious incompatibility with him, usually one that was abundantly clear from the millisecond he meet them, but he without fail ignores it, does everything he can to woo a girl he shouldn't be with, and then when everything goes up in flames he just chocks it up to "she wasn't the one!" and hard banks on this imaginary friend he's come up with for himself materializing into his life out of thin air. He'll work hard to get the girl, but he won't do anything substantial to actually keep her. He's so caught up in this fantasy of a perfect partner that he wastes the prime years of his life chasing after women that he pretty much knew from the jump would never want to be with him long term, in the hopes that they would change to fit his fantasies and everything would just magically work out because "destiny." But that doesn't fit into a 2-word soundbite so you don't really see much discussion of it online

#BTW he's still a great character despite this #hell id even say because of this #ted mosby (at his best i will acknowledge he gets flanderized in a lot of episodes) is a complex nuanced character #he's not perfect but he's not an asshole either #he just has a hard time getting out of his own way and ends up hurting the people he's close to as a result of that #but tumblr and the internet writ large can't handle nuance so anyone with flaws is automatically the devil #if thats the bar for being a terrible person I have bad news for you about all of humanity #also i will acknowledge that this trait is probably just a result of the mechanics of network television and himym's framing #the writers knew that none of those girls(save veronica #their bailout mother #who also happens to fit this profile the least) were endgame #so they needed to bake in a countdown timer on all the relationships