#but that is unreasonable on 100000 fronts. so i gotta use my time better to do what I want (make games & release tools)

[thehardkandy]

i think i am just getting the impulse for a big life change but i dont actually know what it would be or what it would look like

#i do think i have talked on this point before that i both get comfort and ease from habits and familiarity #while at the same time it is somewhat a noose depending on how much i lean on it #and i would like to find a way that would have me lean on it less (still having it is good!) such that i more regularly do things out of ha #i want it to be substantial! but i also don't want to set myself up for failure #i have been sorta brainstorming what this would all be because i cant just completely change who i am as a person #and so any idea that would depend on that is a no-go (i.e. 'become non-anxious and extroverted' isnt a reasonable goal #but 'go to a concert/event/outing' once a month is though that specifically isnt what im going for) #idk i cant even be reliable at brainstorming because i write off half my ideas for not being feasible #such as dating since kinda my entire life and habits and plans are built around me Not Dating and not planning to #but it's also not an unreasonable option per se. would love to be in love. would hate to change my life to get it however #perhaps more than it could ever be worth #i wish i worked fewer hours at work #like literally i wish I worked 11am to 4 pm #and that it was monday-thursday #and then i would love to use all that extra buffer for Doing Things #but that is unreasonable on 100000 fronts. so i gotta use my time better to do what I want (make games & release tools) #or change what i want to something that better fits the time as i use it now (which is still almost nothing)