#but that either by effect of an author's blind spots or intentionally what's god's action and what isn't

[cacaitos]

i think it's rad that juli screams and wallows so much for a god that didn't answer him at any moment except by his own impression both for his own supposed condemnation AND forgiveness.

and that not only so pressed by the made up imprsssion of the guy he made in his head he also, as his most significant and material show of love he devoted himself to the person he will never and can't ever meet again. like yeah in theory they will in heaven but in practice is living for the dead, the ever moving goal of the immutable, platonic divine.

isn't he a romantic.

#txt #and btw w paragraph 1 this ain't abt to say the the TnS god doesn't exist but that the judgement #that juli puts on himself is his own perception of his assault over god's in-story #non-presence. or non-answer at least. it's a self centered assertion tho not selfish itself #and in consequence from this first conception of his assault; that he's cursed and corrupted #bc of it is that the rest of his (in retrospect) destructive actions (that his guilt makes as if he's #irreparable and that as such he shouldtake it to the last measures that materially confirm it and thus gets #like. divinely punished for it+ that he feels he also killed thomas) unnecessary from the beginning #now that itself is not the funny part bc me saying that would be betraying one of my favorite manga works #and is in fact that it's not that he's 'forgiven' bc nobody nor god or the rest of the #friends he has said he's 'sullen' from the beginning. but that it's the realization of that fact #is what is meaningful that he realizes himself. not only by himself but by accepting others #in his heart etc. #now what's slightly more. how to say. on a doylist way more humorous is that juli has such a bizzare #personality in the first place. that others' and god's discursive voice first has to #go through HIS language and his perception of things for him to actually absorb it imo #again his (in perspective) acceptance of others' judgment that he's not sullen first kinda #have to go through God Also Says So despite the events not having any particular idk #quality from other events. not as in that the story had to be like supernatural or smth lol #but that either by effect of an author's blind spots or intentionally what's god's action and what isn't #is a bit biased lol #and then that even through the god later it's ultimately him and his estrange personality that will have a say #so IN MY OPINION and obviously not as predominantly as im implying others' voices #end up functioning as a sort of externalized Internal Dialogue. #am i making sense. #that his very real and material love for thomas he expresses through his love of god (or 'his' god) and heaven etc.