#but she had to bring me the key card to soak my arthritis filled body in the hot tub so she came and gave it to me and that’s when

[ultraviolencced]

.

#and the few hours of happiness are over and going home is not going to be fun #my sister was on the phone with my mom and my mom is so fucking loud i could hear what she was saying and in what Tone of voice #and like i suspected she’s mad at me #i told her months ago that i shouldn’t have taken the trip i can’t afford all of it and that physically it’s going to wreck me #and for months she’s been encouraging it telling me it’s ok and it’s gonna be fun #but now i fucked up and she’s going to me mad at me which will either mean no communication at all she’s just going to ignore me #or be passive aggressive or straight up yell at me #i still get the same feeling as i did when i was a teenager getting in trouble it’s awful #like i’m so grateful for her bc i’m almost 27 and can’t live on my own because i’m unemployed because i have more than one disabilities #but she crushes my spirit sometimes:) #when i was 16 me and my friends went to a concert in denver and my mom and her boyfriend at the time took us and went to a sports bar #she was fully aware of what time the concert ended but because she wanted to leave #she screamed at me when i walked out and she did that all the way home 60miles with my two friends in the car #i didn’t leave my room for three days because of how upset i was and thought she was going to continue yelling at me #my sister is totally selling me out right now she’s on the phone with her and waited til she went out to the car to talk to her away from me #but she had to bring me the key card to soak my arthritis filled body in the hot tub so she came and gave it to me and that’s when #i heard the conversation and now want to sit at the bottom of the hot tub and never come back up :) #i didn’t even get a full day of paul serotonin high not even 12 hours :) #someone with covid needs to spit in my mouth if i get it again it’s gonna be bad so bring it the fuck on covid kill my lungs #i’ve also spent most of this trip crying from various anxieties and this is the cherry on top of the shit cake #i don’t know what the fuck i’m supposed to do #i’ll stop my lupus treatments and seizure meds that’ll do the trick #i’m not doing good on main right now #shut the fuck up taylor