#but like to put it simply for now I genuinely feel like Kimmuriel and maybe a bit like Drizzt sometimes

[solvicrafts]

One of these days when I'm in the right mental space for it I really, really want to post about how incredibly isolating it feels to be neuro-divergent in the pagan community and, at the same time, more or less following a near-reconstructionist path despite how extraordinarily difficult it is because my brain just wired differently so I basically have to fight own instincts and inherent nature in order to practice my religion but at the same time I fight entirely of my own accord because it falls in line with my personal principles and--

#solvi's personal ramblings #it's late for me so today probably will not be that day #but I've been wanting to write a series of posts on this topic and others #because there's an immense feeling of isolation that I deal with in the pagan community that I don't talk about #and weirdly enough I feel like my non-pagan followers on here would understand it a lot more than the broader pagan community likely would #especially my abbilen in the Legend of Drizzt community #but like to put it simply for now I genuinely feel like Kimmuriel and maybe a bit like Drizzt sometimes #especially in my offline social circles #because certain people in my personal life who have grown progressively anti-theist over the years #will actively shit on anyone who believes in or worship anything because in their mind it's all Christianity #and all of Christianity is the Westboro Baptist Church #and on those rare occasions where I do manage to slightly challenge them they give me the Drizzt treatment #'man drow suck they're awful they're just the worst I can't wait to kill them... oh well except you 'cause you're OK I guess' #like because my brain just doesn't work the way other peoples' brains do there are aspects of religion and spirituality I struggle with #so I don't really fit in with the crystal woo crowd but I also don't fit in with most other recon-leaning polytheists #and then I get really actively shat on by anti-theists I know because they can't separate modern ex-Christian baggage #from literally everything else #like it does not compute in their mind that extreme American Christian beliefs =/= ALL RELIGION or ALL CHRISTIANS #and nothing seems to get it through to them and they take everything in bad faith #so I feel very isolated at times because I don't seem to really have a place really anywhere #because my interpretation of religion and spirituality and my ability to practice it will always be different due to my inherent nature #so I'll basically never 'belong' anywhere #I'm gonna join Kimmuriel in the 'I shoulda been born an illithid' thing except I don't know what I should've been born as #I just know that the person I was born as just doesn't seem to fit in anywhere or have a place in the world