#but it’s easter break so the college is fucking closed and ya girl has decided to start learning esperanto again

[taylorswiftacoustic]

So i’m going to do one of those obnoxious why i love Taylor so much posts, even though I hate putting myself on blast and feel cringey, but it’s almost 2am and she’s still meeting fans in Nashville (at like 5am) so it’s not like she’s going to see it ever.

Anyways I’ve been listening to Taylor’s music since Fearless.  I actually even made a facebook post about it back when I still made obnoxious facebook posts all the time back in 2008 when I first got a Facebook cause I was a freshman in high school.  Because Taylor is 4 years older than me she usually releases music that I need right when it’s relevant to my life.  I was 15 when Fifteen came out and there was a boy I had a crush on who’s name was Drew and honestly her entire work just fit so well into my life.  It was on my ipod and i listened to her song religiously and whenever I would go on walks with my dog she was one of the artists playing.  Fearless is an excellent song to walk out at night and look up at the stars to just in case you were wondering.

Speak Now came out my junior year of high school back when Taylor and the SF Giants coincided with making people in the Bay Area happy in October.  (But tbh i don’t really care about baseball and found the giants hype obnoxious), but the Taylor hype I was all for.  Speak Now was that album it had Dear John which honestly if I was going to pick a favorite it’s def in the top 10 cause as Alana Haim says “Just listened to taylor swifts song “dear john”… That bitch has huge balls.  FUCK YOU JOHN MAYER”.  The part where she says shining like fireworks over your sad empty town does something to my soul and honestly the music and the emotion and ughhhhhh she’s trying to kill me.  The songwriting on the whole album just kills me and the fact that she wrote the whole album by herself just proves that she can do literally anything.  It’s empowering to know how much work she put into that album.  Also junior year of high school was when my older sister left for college and I couldn’t drive myself to school cause I didn’t have my license (tbh i can never spell that word) and I walked home from school a lot and you can tell this was blasting.  Also junior year was when I kind of had a life crisis of what to do for college and life and I just threw myself into the drama department and was a part of 3 plays in one year partially so I would stay after school and my parents could pick me up at the end and partially cause i was so confused by school and my anxiety that being a part of a theater production made me feel like a part of something.  And I literally always and forever want to be a part of any group.

Now for everyone’s favorite album Red.  God people are really not kidding when they say this album is the best.  I mean every single track is that track.  It came out during my first year of college.  I went away to SoCal for college and nobody from my hometown went to my school and I had gone to school with the same people from k-12 and honestly I was so lonely.  My campus was a commuter campus and everyone went home on the weekends and I couldn’t fly home and I didn’t have a car so I joined a sorority cause they did things on weekends, I heart being part of a group and instant friends.  And man was that the best life decision ever.  I joined the most chill group of people and I got my Big in October and on the car ride from Big/Lil reveal over to our dinner my GBig played Everything Has Changed and the whole album and it was just so wonderful and amazing and fit so freaking perfectly with my life.  I had no romantic things happening like ever, but I did go through a major life change and it was just so good.  And then when I went home over thanksgiving and christmas break my best friend also loved the album so we just listened to Red on repeat until i knew every single word and we sat in the car and talked like we had just seen each other yesterday even though it was almost 3 months and it was like I had seen her yesterday.  She’s been my best friend since kindergarten and even if we don’t talk in like 6 months, I see her in person and it’s like she was just in my car the day before talking about whatever.  Anyways this whole album was the key to my first few years of college to get away from the loneliness and the aching of trying to figure out how to live with no parents and it being miserable and magical at the same time.

Then we get to 1989 and my 3rd year of college.  This is when I had finally moved in with my best friends instead of living with randoms and my whole life became so much better because they took care of me and I had a car so i had more freedom and they took me out and I was officially part of their little group and I felt like I actually knew what I was doing with my life for once (did not last long, but it was there for a bit).  And it was just the pop hits album that I needed.  The change from country to pop fit into my life so well and I was so much happier and the album was happy, but you could tell came from a place of knowing about that anxiety and fear, but kept pushing through.  Like all of Taylor’s albums it just fit into my life.  It was the soundtrack of drives to LA and to parties and pregaming and formals and hikes and walks around campus and to class.  It was joined with Haim’s album on a playlist on my phone called HaimSwift and it was played on my 8 hour drive from NorCal to SoCal at least 3 times that year when I drove to school, when I drove back for break and then back to school again.  There’s also a Noah + The Swift for Noah + the Whale and Taylor Swift.  They are both wonderful playlists of my favorite artists.  This is when I found out that Haim the band that I had discovered and fell in love with at Outside Lands the summer prior was going to be touring with Taylor, but unfortunately on in LA when I wasn’t going to be there and not in NorCal at an expensive stadium after I had spent all of my money on pasts and wine in Italy on my study abroad trip.

And then Taylor went on a break, well a longer than 2 year break and in that time I graduated and moved back home and my grandpa passed away and I found a job (not the one I wanted, but you know it paid and I got to stay at home with my parents and my family during a rough time).  And then I applied to the Disney College program and I got accepted in Anaheim and life was better because I got to move back to SoCal where I wanted to be and work at the literal dream location and have housing and see where life would take me.  And so I moved back to SoCal and I started this program and I fell more in love with Disneyland and the people I was in the program with (love being part of a group) and then stayed on after it ended and finally got an apartment and started being a “real adult”.  It was a strange time, but a fun time.  I got to explore the parks, I visited my friends in Chicago, I worked a lot and then from the silence Taylor Swift came back.  I was thrilled about the new album and the experience.  See I have been on tumblr with my blog @megansalphabet(actually the name was meganislameness but that is a little controversial so it got changed) since 2010 my junior year of high school and also when Speak Now came out.  But during the “drought” I actually started following a lot of Taylor Swift blogs cause I was missing her music and her presence and so once the news about rep dropped I was hooked.  From the early days of people fighting about if it was a dragon or a snake and then what kind of snake and through the whole build up and music videos and easter egg hunting and the experience of being in that group and having other people freak out about the same things that I was, was so thrilling and exciting.

And finally on a day when I worked until 2:45 in the morning the album came out.  And so even though I had already pre-ordered a CD, it was not at my apartment yet so I went to Target and bought my magazines and read the lyrics while listening to the album and spent the whole day listening to the album 3 times.  Then once the tour announcement came I decided no more waiting about ya girl is finally gonna see my idol and so I told my mom what i wanted for an early christmas present and I watched the music video and I bought some sweatpants and a sweatshirt and a bag and a keychain and I said this is the era that I’m going to see Taylor Swift live I don’t care who’s going with me, but I am going no matter what.  And I did.  I got a second job, I went to Seattle and I had been working at 2 jobs for almost 2 weeks on the most perfect May day I got off work and drove to Pasadena, picked up my friend and some tacos from the train station and parked at the Rosebowl parking.  We walked a trek to the stadium and got some drinks and found our seats.  We watched Charli XCX and watched the ASL translator translate Boys and we learned how to sign Boys and then we met up with my sister who was also at the concert and got some more drinks and some pretzels because I had a craving and my friend is the best.  And then we went back to our seats and had the most incredible concert experience ever as Taylor Swift serenaded us the whole evening.  Also Selena Gomez and Troye Sivan showed up?!?!??!!?!  Also she sang All To Well acoustic in front of us like we were so close to the B stage and Dancing With Our Hands Tied on the guitar and I just about died like 20 times even though I had already seen a instalive of a girl from the first night of the concert in Glendale and pretty much knew what was going to happen.  But it didn’t matter because this was the concert that i was at next to Taylor and my best friend and oh wow.

And now Lover is fast approaching and I no longer work 2 jobs or at Disneyland and I still don’t really know what I want to do with my life and I’m still probably working too much (say hello to the past 3 sundays that I was supposed to be off and then got a call at 6am asking if I could come in, yay overtime pay? boo 6 days).  But I’m getting closer to figuring out what I want and who knows maybe I’ll go back to school and become a teacher because that’s always kind of been a secret dream of mine, but they get paid so little and grad school is expensive.  But shaping young minds seems so fulfilling and worthwhile.  Join me in my next existential crisis for that debate.

Anyways the point of this is that Taylor has always been there for me through all of the questioning and the confusion and the late night walks with my dog at the creek looking up at the stars and the happy times and the sad times and honestly there is a song for every single mood that i’ve had.  And even though I’m 25 and have never had a romantic relationship (not sure I want one or if i’m just afraid of pursuing one) I’ve always had her songs to stay with me through it all.  And this post is a mess and now it’s 3am and thank goodness I don’t have work tomorrow, but that nap did mess up my sleep schedule and my computer is at 18% and it’s probably time for bed.  Also Taylor if you ever do read this sorry it’s a mess, but I really do appreciate all that you’ve done even if I never get to meet you and tell you that.

#megan's life updates #casa edition #tmi #maybe ill make an abridged version one day #suitable for taylikes #cause this one is kinda way too personal #not that that would ever happen #but a girl can dream #a dream is a wish your heart makes is still stuck in my head #you can take the girl out of disney #but she'll always and forever be that disney bitch