#but it irks me that i was never my granddads lol

[lemonlovemeanslove]

I wish my grandpa was still here, I feel like he died before I became the person I know today.

I wish he knew me as I know me. I think he would have really liked me. I wish I got him better, when I had the capacity to understand other people, to listen to them. I don't know why I'm thinking about these things now. We weren't close, but if we had been given the opportunity, I'm sure we would have been.

#this is probably bc i lack a full relationship to a older man in my life #and my brain is telling me that my grandpa would have become that when my relationship with my dad started to break down into what it is now #had he not died so young #and had I not been so young when he died #but maybe im wrong #pretty sure I was never his favorite #i think it was my second youngest brother? #guess him and his son had that in common #wonder why I don't give a shit about not being my dads fave like ever in my life #but it irks me that i was never my granddads lol