#but in cql she feels more resigned to being without control so

[llycaons]

ep18 (1/2): in which wwx manipulates and lies to his friends and family (lovingly)

forgot this. he can just fly around catching birds. no wonder it's so easy to camp

I feel like birthdays really only crop up in american tv in the context of little kids. it's something children do.

xy twirling his hair as he walks away 😭 can your believe ppl still ship them after he murdered SL's entire family

this was such a good change for the show to make bc 1. this introduces the idea of bssr really naturally and 2. it gives wwx another interaction with SL, which is emotionally significant later for both us and the characters

also they need to slip in his backstory and all of its parallels to wx somehow and waiting until yi city is way too late

oh cool I love a t/n

wwx making it a mystical quest bound in ceremony and ritual to prevent jc from suspecting or asking too many questions, and to control his actions. ugh

that post abt jc hero-worshipping wwx continues to baffle me. in fact this is the only time we ever see jc so eager to follow wwx's directions and do what he says

'let her do anything' she is a grown woman she can gather herbs if she wants and what authority do you have to stop her 😭

this smile after he convinces jc about his plan is so haunting. you can see he's sxcited and then the smile fades and he just looks...resigned? fucking misery

yanqing warriors! when wwx mentions jyl leaving soon, wen qing freezes and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. what can it mean hmm?

I don't think jc would have accepted the core if he knew what wwx planned, which is why wwx kept it secret. one of the reasons

this is kind of manipulative no? not in a way to hurt her just to get her to agree with his plan. and maybe he means it too. maybe he would have done with without the debt of the jiangs held over his head. we'll never know

drugging you sister. sir!

I think it's really funny when wwx insults jc sorry I always will. he deserves to at least a little

first shot of wwx looking like a little mousie with his threabare pillow and jc a raging little brat. very similar to the first shot of the show! wwx bleeding and suicidal, and jc stalking over to finish the job. but in that scene and this one, we see there's more to the story

im going to fucking isekai myself into cql universe for the sole purpose of cuddling this child

you know I was so excited for jfm to say that. like go jfm! the haters were wrong about you! you love and protect at least one child under your care!

and then it IMMEDIATELY cuts to wwx hours later freezing because jfm told him 'jc is a good kid' and then he LEFT HIM THERE AND WENT TO BED

FUCK HIM FUCK HIM FUCK HIM. USELESS BASTARD. YOU ARE THE PROBLEM HERE

ugh it's not cool to hate on a 9 year old esp since he's lonely and neglected by his dad but he's such a brat

her parents and sect are so useless this preteen girl has to go out into the woods at like 1 am to find her new brother

wwx's first instinct was to find a tree to climb. dogs can't climb trees, but how many trees were in yiling for him to learn to climb? hmm

wwx falling is such a theme and jyl being the only one besides lwj to ever try to catch him....ough. his two lights indeed

jyl also actually explains why jc is upset rather than just telling him he'll be fine

HALF A DAY??!! hasn't he suffered enough. mein gott

and of course now she has to parent her two baby brothers one of whom is very traumatized and newly adopted and the other is very socially inept and clumsy so he came out to help and now he's BLEEDING. if I was her I would have carried so much resentment as an adult oops her parents are dead so I guess she can't even if she wanted to

YOU WILL SAY IT CRYING SOMEDAY

it's significant that (iirc) jc never says he's sorry in the main timeline. only twice in the story - here and at the very end. a lot of people consider the finale the end of their relationship, but I prefer to see it as a reset. a renewal. they're starting again. jc is crying and he's sorry for hurting wwx, and wwx forgives him because he's a nice kid and because he does care about him. and they can start from there, even if things will be different

they don't have jyl anymore, but everything's come out between them. they can coexist on equal footing. wwx has someone who protects him. jc doesn't resent him so much. all his anger is spent. he feels bad. they won't be what they were before, but I like to think they'll at least have some of the brotherhood they once did

jc also crying in his sleep with this flashback. lot of sleep crying these days

#cql re-rewatch

[ibijau]

Wen Qing Lives

It’s incomplete still and I low-key hate how I’ve written it (honestly, I’m taking criticism... so much...) but heyyy

also this is firmly CQL/The untamed rather than based on the novel

“What about the others?” Wen Qing asks when Jin Guanshang is done speaking. “Are you going to release them?”

The man shrugs, but it’s clear he expected that question or he’d be angry at her for asking it.

“They don’t interest me. They can return to Yiling for all I care.”

“Even my brother?”

Jin Guanshang’s face hardens into an expression too cruel to be called a smile.

“How could I release my son’s murderer? But he would stay here, like you. Unharmed. I’m sure I can find some use for him.”

Wen Qing nods, once. Of course they’ll find a use for A-Ning. He is a good hostage, something to use against her should she refuse to hold her end of the bargain. A good threat to use against Wei Wuxian too, and so is she. Speaking of which…

“There won’t be retaliations against Wei Wuxian,” she demands.

“If you behave, there won’t be any more deaths,” Jin Guanshang promises. He’s probably the most dishonest man Wen Qing has ever met but he wants her knowledge. She survived Wen Ruohan. She can survive another tyrant, and make sure her family does too. It’s all she’s ever done with her life.

It was nice to have that year in Yiling, those precious months of… of what, anyway? Happiness ? Wen Qing isn’t sure it ever got to that, not with the constant threat of the cultivation world, the fear that Wei Wuxian wouldn’t always be enough to protect them, the lack of food and money. But if it wasn’t happiness, it was the nearest thing to it that she’s had since she was a child. Things were good in Yiling.

Maybe they’ll be good again, for those who are going back there. Wei Wuxian won’t let any harm come to them. Maybe they can be happy, even if Wen Qing couldn’t.

She takes the deal.

She’s always been too willing to give everything for her family, she hears Wen Ruohan whisper into her ear. But his family is dead and hers is alive still, so clearly she’s made some right choices along the way.

......

Long ago, Wen Qing’s first impression of Xue Yang was that he’d been too young, too small, too fragile for whatever was going on with Wen Ruohan’s plans.

Her second impression, after seeing that smile he had, was that this child would stab her in the back if given the chance, not because she was a threat, but just because he might get bored someday.

Now that they’re meeting again in Carp Tower, her third impression is that it’s not her he’ll be thinking about when he stabs. This boy holds more resentful energies than Wei Wuxian did on his darkest days, but rather than to fight it he delights in that darkness within him. 

He’s clever, though. Impossibly clever. Wen Qing has not often had the chance to speak on equal footing with another cultivator, but Xue Yang listens when she speaks and he understands. Talking to him feels almost like talking to Wei Wuxian sometimes. They even look somewhat alike, she tells herself when she feels nostalgic. If she weren’t so pragmatic, if Xue Yang weren’t such a sadistic little shit, she could be tempted to pretend she’s back in that cave in Yiling.

“Wonder how close to death we have to get them,” Xue Yang will say some days, before proceeding to torture whatever poor soul they were given to experiment on. “Mistress Wen, lend me your toys and take notes.”

She hates him as fiercely as she hates Jin Guangshan. Xue Yang knows this, and keeps asking for her assistance in his experiment. If she tries to give his victims something to ease their pain, he complains she’s ruining his results. Jin Guangshan has personally come to remind her that she must choose who will suffer between her family and those strangers.

Every day that she works with Xue Yang, she must make that choice again. She thinks of Wen Ning’s smile, Wen Yuan’s laughter, all those people whose lives depend on her. It’s selfish, but every time she chooses them. She knows it amuses Xue Yang to no end.

She’s never wanted to kill someone before. She does now. Xue Yang and Jin Guangshan die a thousand deaths in her dreams.

But the worst thing about Xue Yang is never the torture and madness.

The worst is those other days, the ones when he is just a frightfully clever boy who chats with her about demonic cultivation and medicine and whatever else he’s taking an interest in at the moment. It’s hard to fully hate someone who is excitedly explaining to you how different candies are made. It always brings Wen Qing back to her first impression: Xue Yang is too young for everything that is happening here.

And even though she knows this is probably part of whatever sick game that boy is playing with her, she pities him. She can’t help it. He reminds her too much of Wen Ning when he gets excited about something innocent. 

She’s been here for over a year, and they haven’t let her see Wen Ning once. Not until some of her research brings results, Jin Guangshan said.

She hates him. She hates them.

But she keeps working. For her family, there’s nothing she won’t do.

“I’ve got a surprise for you,” Xue Yang says one morning as the guard closes the door behind Wen Qing. “Took some effort to get that old fart to agree, but I thought you deserved a treat.”

Wen Qing tenses immediately. It’s been two years. She knows what sort of things to expect from Xue Yang when he speaks of surprises with a smile like that.

“Don’t bother,” she says coldly. “Let’s just get to work. What do you need from me today?”

“You’re going to help me test something,” Xue Yang replies in a singing voice, his smirk widening. 

Wen Qing has never seen him this excited about anything and it scares her more than she’ll admit. She fights to keep her expression neutral, but she can’t help glancing at Xue Yang’s work table. There’s a body there, covered by a sheet from head to toe. What new madness has that boy invented?

“Come closer, Mistress Wen!” he beckons her. “You need to be nearer for this.”

She obeys, against her will. What choice is there? She is in control when alone in her cell, but here in Xue Yang’s laboratory, he makes the rules.

When he deems her close enough, Xue Yang lifts the sheet from that body’s head.

Wen Qing screams.

They’ve let Xue Yang experiment on her brother.

Wen Ning doesn’t react to her scream even though his eyes are open. He only placidly turns his head to look at her when she shakes him, his eyes entirely black, his face showing no recognition. 

From the corner of her eye, she spots Xue Yang taking notes, a greedy smirk on his lips.

“Jin Guangshan said he’d be unharmed,” Wen Qing hisses.

“And you believed him?” Xue Yang taunts her. “Besides, he’s not harmed. What’s dead can’t feel pain, right? And no damage can’t be repaired. I know. I tested for that too.”

She glares at him, her fists clenched around the chains that cover her brother’s body. Xue Yang keeps smiling like a tiger waiting to pounce. She knows what her next question should be. She doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“I know what you’re wondering,” Xue Yang says when the silence stretches too long. “Why don’t you ask, Mistress Wen? I know you're wondering how much he lied to you. Maybe I’ll be nice. Maybe I’ll answer.”

Wen Qing bites her lip. She doesn’t need to ask, and he doesn’t need to say. One look at him says it all. He wouldn’t be that excited, that giddy if he didn’t have some more horror in store for her.

She won’t give him the satisfaction of saying it out loud.

Wen Qing rushes to the door and into the corridor, demanding to be taken back to her cell. Behind her, Xue Yang is laughing.

For an entire week, Wen Qing refuses to leave her cell and work with Xue Yang. She has no reason to do it now. Her brother has been turned into a mindless puppet. Her family is dead. Wei Wuxian too must be dead, or he would have razed Carp Tower to the ground.

She was ready to die two years ago.

She’s ready to die now.

She doesn't even get to die. 

They don't force her to work with Xue Yang again. When Jin Guangshan comes to check on her own work, it's clear he's annoyed at his demonic cultivator for letting her know too much. That little bastard forgot that they also want her knowledge, her cooperation, that Wen Qing is a tool as valuable as he is, albeit in a different way. 

Or perhaps Xue Yang knew. Perhaps he was trying to help her by letting her know the truth. It sounds like something he'd mistake for kindness. Either way, she's grateful. 

Now she knows for sure that her new master is no better than the last. 

She knows, also, that they haven't killed her brother, and she negotiates to see him daily. Jin Guangshan, perhaps worried she'll let herself die, grants it. 

She can't do anything for Wen Ning. He doesn't react to her presence. Just another puppet. It doesn't matter. Wen Qing sees him every day, brushes his hair, and whispers promises. 

She'll get them both out of this place.

#Wen Qing #Jin Guangshan #xue yang #the untamed #wen ning #mdzs #jau writes #I find wq's voice and mood difficult to capture ahah #in the novel she is fierce and so angry #but in cql she feels more resigned to being without control so #I don't know how to write her ahah #wip