#but i'll hopefully be getting one fulltime job soon so i'll have actual free time

[paigemathews]

I like. briefly mentioned it in the tags of my last post, but one of the (unending) story ideas on my to write list is about. Well, not necessarily about the origins of the Nexus but includes the origins of the Nexus, lore about prophesied witches, power building for the Phoenix, and an apocalyptic threat. The problem is that it's not one of my current WIPs in rotation. Not even a little! But that's the one I'm thinking about right now. I don't know what to do about this.

#abi speaks #for the record i am still in fact alive and obsessed with charmed #just. work. i have multiple jobs and therefore no time for anything else but work sleep and eat #with eat being a little too optional most days so unfortunately v limited charmed time #but i'll hopefully be getting one fulltime job soon so i'll have actual free time #which i desperately miss having lmao #but yeah i have way too many projects rn man #i may actually post them soon tho bc two of them just need finishing edits and two more just need to finish drafts #the other one has turned into a significantly longer thing than i'd originally planned tbh #lmao i feel like i discuss ideas and projects a lot for someone who hasnt actually POSTED anything in a hot minute #i swear i do actually write just. slow atm.

[canmom]

i can relate so much to your art struggles, you are really not alone in this 😭

i think ultimately it comes down to the eye/visual library becoming much more advanced and much quicker compared to what youre actually capable of replicating from your imagination, so almost all of the time your skills have to catch up to the high standard your eye sets, which is soo frustrating!!

(and im a mid-tier artist at BEST lol, so not sure if its just a thing you grow out of after you learn all of the anatomy/light/perscpective/color theory/etc.?? be free to update me on that if you make it past fundamentals hell :P)

so youre kinda always setting yourself up for falling short of your own expectations.... in the end i suppose one way of dealing with this is just to remind yourself that youre learning, and being ok with making "bad" things but also tell yourself that not everyone sees the same flaws in something that you see so the thing you consider "bad" is not necessarily in the eyes of another person!

yeah it's tough. i feel like i have no real idea how to assess what's good about my work, i can usually only see the flaws in it, so i'm grateful when people tell me it's good but i also feel like... they probably wouldn't feel that way if it weren't for our existing personal connection ig. i felt kinda good seeing all those decent pieces in pixiv thumbnails but then i clicked onto the front page and saw a lot of considerably more confident and accomplished pieces... which of course, they're only gonna put the best stuff on the front page!

my main barrier is simply not making enough stuff i think. i don't think i'm fundamentally off in my approach, i have a decent and gradually improving ability to eyeball perspective and create good shapes and keep good proportions and anatomy and so on, my lines are gradually getting cleaner, but there's a sort of indescribable element of confidence that comes with just cranking out enough pictures and brings all the elements together. and that only comes from muscle memory and practice.

some part of me has this naive belief that as soon as i get on stimulant medication (hopefully before the end of this year) i'll be able to start practising art like it's a fulltime job (while also holding down a fulltime job?)... but right now i know for certain i'm not drawing enough and i just can't figure out how to get myself to "draw, antonio, draw and do not waste time", like i always love it when i'm doing it but it's just such a barrier to start each day, gahh.

like i need to do more of everything: more fun pieces to develop my feeling what i enjoy and want to create in the long run, more drawing from life/photos, more studies of artists i admire...

anyway i'll stop going on. good luck anon, may we both reach the place we desire...