#but i teach/tutor students and they might not be able to find someone to sub my classes this last minute

[scarletcomet]

my therapist agrees with me that i need more than 1 hr of therapy a week :\

#also realized that im doing worse than i was when i saw her last in december #she asked me about self-harm and i was able to honestly say that it's been about a month so i guess that's improvement #she thinks i need to go back up to at least iop #idk what to do though because i was discharged from iop on dec 29 and they thought i was ready even though i didn't feel ready #but i think a large part of that being my discharge date is because i left for a trip on jan 2 #i liked the program i was in and i liked my doctor (who i am now seeing outpatient once a month) but i was in that program for a long time #so maybe i need to be looking into other programs. that one was close to home and a young adult program which i liked #it feels kinda shitty to have to go back up to a higher level of care yet again #but at least i dont need inpatient and tbh if i dont get the help i need now then probably will end up needing inpatient again #i have work tonight and i dont feel like i can do it. i dont feel like i can hold myself together for that long let alone also do my job #and like be the adult #but i teach/tutor students and they might not be able to find someone to sub my classes this last minute #and today is the first day of this semester (other then the classes i subbed on monday) so im worried if i dont do them today #theyll give my classes to someone else #i should never have told my bosses that i am home from school because of mental health ugh