#but i always encounter 'autistics are freaky and kinky !'

[chaosvanquished]

Again and again I have to hear the argument that "asexuals are actually not oppressed because in fact virginity and abstinence is expected" but these people seem to be forgetting that not everyone lives in a puritanical or at least puritan-shaped society.

I had close, good friends remark about another friend that she was abnormal for finding some guys cute but never approaching them or seeking a relationship when we were only 18.

When I was 19 I had to see a doctor and when I told her that I never had sex she reacted with "Really ? How ?! Did you never get the urge or just want to try it out ?!"

I was asked how one could get me, an autistic person, to develop a special interest in sex so I'd want to do it all the time and try out various positions/kinks/etc.

During my internship I managed to secure a position as an assistant and everyone openly assumed that I had slept with my boss. I was 19.

Personally, I'm not sex-negative but sex-repulsed. Non-graphic sex scenes or snippets alluding to sex (i.e. hands grabbing sheets) are not only part of the normal tv program but ads. I'll see sex scenes during day time for sex toys, condoms, health apps - even fucking bottled water. On channels with kids-friendly programs.

During high school I refused a date AND just sex with a friend. He didn't understand when I said "it's not you, I just generally don't", so he came back and told me in detail how he'd rape and murder me and more.

In my 20s I lived in shared housing. Several people could not accept that I wasn't interested in sleeping around. One was actually yelling at me in public that I should sleep with him because "it was obvious I wanted to". But clearly that's homophobia ? We actually had gay and lesbian housemates, they were fully accepted.

Another public scene. A guy yelled at me from a distance in the pedestrian zone how I had nice legs and he wanted to perform oral sex on me. I was mortified. My mother found it "funny and quite charming"...

When I was 16 and had no interest in dating or sex my best friend told me "when you eventually have sex you'll have to grid your teeth and act like you feel no pain and are experienced. No one wants to have sex with an 18+ virgin. Also if you're over 18 you can't expect a guy to go slow during your first time, you're too old."

And while I love the diversity in aspec-spaces, it can get annoying to hear "just because you're ace doesn't mean you can't have sex, right ? You do engage in sex, right ?!", because people read about sex-positive asexuality and jumped on it right away.

#asexuality #lgbt+ #aphobia #aspec #ableism #many of you seem to have encountered 'all autistics must be ace !' #but i always encounter 'autistics are freaky and kinky !' #this is me #i added more #there's actually much much more to add #ace problems #acephobia