#but even after those moments. i feel monotone like i dont care. robotic. but zombielike. none to speak and dry to type.

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████████████ but who'd try to █████████ █████████████████████ My thoughts are ███████████████ Why isn't anybody listening to me ██████████ but seriously?

#my paranoias gotten. so much worse lately. with everything. its been ovbious. #everything feels.. so exhausting and i dont want to deal with anything. #i can always stay silly but im still so paranoid and stressed out #and i KEEP SAYING “WHATEVER” #i dont think i can say it much longer #before i just fucking snap and break. #i already said.. if i keep it in for too long. i cause harm to myself. yet im keeping it in. *why*. #i dont want to cause everyone issues. i realize i just ramble about anything. ill talk about anything. i want attention to make sure #im not hated by everyone. and even if they say they dont hate me part of me just doesn't believe them. im easily hateable. #like im a burden to everyone around me. a waste of space. the noticably of my disappearance if i just. dont come online. #but even after those moments. i feel monotone like i dont care. robotic. but zombielike. none to speak and dry to type. #im exhausted. i dont feel like it anymore. it just feels normal. cause its been so much more frequent. #i already feel myself breaking slowly. #i think im still out of it from last night. fun.. how awesome and amazing. no wonder I've felt like this all day.