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lesbiansandco · 10 months

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An unstoppable force (madd taking up all of my waking and sometimes half-awake! hours) meets an immovable object (the urge to post about madd on my tumblr blog)

i swear i want to relate to my fellow tumblr madders but to do that i would have to Stop Daydreaming and i am not yet strong enough for that (different madd criteria/madd questions) "how many hours a day do you daydream?" bitch all of them?!?!? except for sleeping but i have chronic insomnia not related to madd but guess what my brain does to fill the insomnia gap? daydream and so i lose time before bed too and the first thing I do when I wake up? daydream i've gotten so good at it too - daydreaming all of the time about anything whatsoever without it showing to other people and that doesn't mean it doesn't impact my life (or else it wouldn't really be madd) but i can hide my struggling so well and even snap out of the daydreaming for just enough time to talk to people/function somewhat normally before being sucked right back in the second its possible im a functioning addict but not for alcohol or other drugs Its Just Madd (and its driving me mad[d]) "avoid your triggers" everythings a trigger. everything. anything could spark a daydream or daydream scenario. I have over 10 different AUs for my current main paracosm bc of shit like this (and yes I can keep track of them. who needs brain function for normal human activities when you have daydreams!). and if there are no triggers around? i'll replay a scene just to watch it again or to go through and make little changes to improve the scene. or create another au. there's no escape and the hard part is: i don't want it to go away. at least not right now. i love my paras and paracosms (well, most of them). but i hope one day my life will get to a point where i don't need to daydream all of the time to escape reality and i can just be an immersive daydreamer and a functional human. but right now? that's not gonna happen. and i'm okay with it. and the worst part: i don't control my daydreams. they're set off by random triggers or boredom and i can't control what i daydream about or when, or for how long. usually its fine, but sometimes i'll daydream something disturbing. or gory/graphic. or generally unpleasant. and these scenes are always extra vivid. and when that happens? i want to stop daydreaming. just for a few hours. a little bit of time. but no. its somehow even harder to snap out of it for a little bit and i have to ride it through. and just for a moment, i hate it. i hate madd. and then it provides an enticing, not horrific escape a while later, and i don't hate it anymore. this wasn't supposed to turn into a rant. for anyone who read it, thanks for listening. may your daydreams (madd or otherwise) be pleasant.

#madd #madd rant #maladaptive daydreaming #actually maladaptive daydreaming #madd problems

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hostess-of-horror · 3 years

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A Day at the Diner

[M.B. is my Cadetsona OC, Sean and Nyarly belong to @drusb, and M.J belongs to @sleepy-heads-blog]

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Sam: "See, I told you hiring a new Cadet would be a good idea!"

Max: "Ugh! Alright, alright! I get it! Sheesh..."

Sam: "The kid's honestly been doing a pretty good job, at least with the errands. M.J. and Geek have warmed up to her rather quickly."

Max: "Yeah, but just wait until something happens where the plot shifts into a devastatingly emotional turn where we all somehow get into a heated argument because of something she did and we decide to split up...." *mumbles* "Hopefully by then it doesn't end with our 'friendship' rekindled."

Sam: "Jesus, Max, what's the big deal? She hasn't even done anything to you."

Max: "Like I said before, I'm territorial, and she's in my territory!"

[Sam sighs. The bell over the Diner door rings. There enters M.B., the new Cadet, all dressed in black from her nails and makeup down to her boots. Her dirty blonde hair is completely shaved on the right side of her head, and the rest fall onto her shoulders. Along with her dark attire is a pair of magenta tea shades, fishnet gloves, and spiked jewelry. She is carrying a small pastel purple coffin backpack, which is covered in multiple pins. M.B. looks around the Diner until she sees Sam and Max in their booth.]

M.B.: *smiles and waves* "Hey guys!"

[As M.B. goes to join them, Sam begins to notice more things about her appearance. It was almost androgynous, a mix of both feminine and masculine. Her clothes are baggy - a pair of cargo pants and a black t-shirt with the words "Dracula" across the front. Below the title was the famous image of Count Dracula holding a fainted woman, ready to sink his fangs into her neck. M.B. sits down across from him and Max, placing her coffin backpack down.]

Max: "Hey Lumpy, where's your coffin? The sun is out! And I think you're at the wrong place." *points to the window* "Hot Topic is that way."

Sam: *bumps Max's head* "Quit it, pinhead. Sorry about that, kid, just ignore him. Anyway, I figured it would be a good idea to have you introduce yourself, get to know you a little better. Meeting each other while in the middle of a monster attack wasn't exactly the best way to introduce ourselves. You know about us obviously, but we don't know a whole lot about you."

Max: "Other than the fact that you kinda suck at the obstacles."

Sam: "You'll get through them." *shoots a dirty look at Max* "I'm sure of it."

M.B.: "Well... for starters, I'm not from around here."

Sam: "Oh yeah, M.J. mentioned something about you being from a... uh.. basically another universe?"

M.B.: "My Paracosm?"

Sam: "Yeah, that. What is a Paracosm?"

M.B.: "A Paracosm is a heavily detailed imaginary world inside one's mind. To put it simply, I came from a universe that I created from my imagination."

Max: "So... you live your life daydreaming and pretend your in a fairy tale land. How... depressing."

M.B.: "I mean, not exactly. It's real, for one, at least for other universes like yours. Almost everyone has a Paracosm. They're just mini universes inside larger universes. In my Paracosm, I'm basically a goddess. I create everything within it. But when I'm outside it, my powers are extremely limited."

Sam: "Powers?"

M.B.: "Yeah! They're illusions essentially, and I can do some pretty neat stuff. I defended M.J. from Brenda one day with my powers. I totally scared the sh*t out of her! I don't think she'll ever mess with him again."

Max: "Brenda? Isn't she that snobby little b*tch that insulted my kids at school?"

Sam: "I think so. How did you scare her?"

M.B.: "I summoned a couple gremlins to chase after her and then cornered her into a massive, decaying wall of flesh where she gets bombarded by large newborn maggots."

Sam: "...."

Max: "...."

M.B.: "Oh, and I also gave myself bat wings."

[A moment of silence. Sam and Max are stunned.]

Sam: "Uh-huh... and, uh... can you still use your powers now?"

M.B.: "Yep! Here, I'll show you."

[M.B. holds her hand up and forms a tiny ball of aura in midair. Sam and Max marvel at the sight; M.B. smirks. She then bends the aura, twisting and bending it with her fingers.]

M.B.: "With this, I can make whatever I want. Although, my personal favorites are anything that's related to horror movies."

[M.B. clutches the aura tightly, focusing her attention into its light. Then the aura transforms into a Glazed McGuffin.]

Sam and Max: "Woah!"

M.B.: "Pretty cool, right?"

Sam: "So this is what Geek and M.J. we're talking about! M.B., this is incredible!"

M.B.: "Heh... I kinda kept all of this to myself at first... mainly because I thought you guys would think it's weird."

Sam: "Kid, we're talking animals that have a human, an alligator, and a fusion of our DNA as our adopted children. Not to mention all the cases we go through!"

Max: "I have a brother who's married to an eldeitch being, for God's sake!"

Sam: "What you have is not weirder than what we've seen before. It's new and we've never seen someone like you before, but in the end, we don't see you as strange."

M.B.: "Really? I guess it's just that... my Paracosm, my powers, and the whole illusion thing are kinda difficult to explain to a lot of people. So, I get anxious.... nervous about being misunderstood. So, I have to keep it to myself. Sometimes. But when Brenda was harassing M.J., I just couldn't hide it anymore. I can't stand harassment and I always wanted to be a protector of sorts. Only in my Paracosm and other universes like yours will I ever make that happen."

[Sam and Max look at each other. M.B. picks up the Glazed McGuffin, twisting it back into its aura form. She plays with it a little. Max sighs, crossing his arms and looking from the booth towards the floor.]

Max: "...."

Sam: "Max?"

Max: "Um... Lumpy... Thanks for... helping M.J. out there. And for being his and Geek's friend."

M.B.: *looks up from the aura* "You're welcome. I'm really glad to be their friend." *gently smiles*

Sam: "Wow, Max. That's the first time you became genuinely nice...."

Max: "Tell anyone about this and I will personally make you into a dog pelt so I can use you for napping, and have Lumpy as my witness."

Sam: "You crack me up, little buddy."

#IDK I just wanted to dabble on M.B. a little bit more #M.B.#the Cadet #Cadetsona OC #Sam and max freelance police #Sam and max freelance husbands #Sam and max this time it's virtual #This Time It's Virtual #Sam and max

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taz-writes · 6 years

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10 Questions Tag Game

@micastarsandmirrors tagged me on my main blog for this, but I’m posting it here because it seemed more appropriate. :>

1. Which author(s) inspires you the most?

Oof, hard question! Recently I’ve been really inspired by Terry Pratchett’s Discworld series--I love how he deconstructs fantasy as a genre. Guards! Guards! is one of the best books I’ve read in a very long time.

2. Someone from a different world asks you, “Show me the song of your people” which earth song would you play for them?

Madeon’s Pop Culture. It’s such a genius reimagining of SO many other songs, and it encapsulates modern pop musical culture in a way that’s really fantastic. I love it. It’s not actually my favorite song, but as an example to an alien of what Earth music is, it’s a pretty good case study.

3. How did you get the idea for your current WIP?

Feilan is drawn from the mythology of a recess game I used to play with my friends in elementary school. My friends and I would team up and LARP as our super cool powerful fairy avatars and fight the annoying boys from the classroom next door evil! As we grew up, the lore of Fairyland grew darker and more complicated, and I borrowed bits and pieces of dozens of other stories to glue them to my self insert and my friends’. We grew out of the game, but the paracosm we’d created stuck with me. Around sixth grade, I started putting those old recess games into writing!

4. Which of your characters is a lover not a fighter and which is a fighter not a lover?

Honestly, most of my characters are both! Feilan is an action story and the majority of the cast is prepared to throw down at any time. I think Lavender is the lover-not-a-fighter. She’s a healer, after all, and she prefers to avoid conflict. The fighter is definitely Amalie.

5. Do you listen to music while you write? If so, what do you listen to?

Sometimes! It depends on my mood, and what kind of scene I’m trying to write. Usually, I prefer instrumental music. I have a class at school where the homework is just listening to a few hours of classical music, so I’ll do that a lot while I write. Otherwise... video game music is the way to go. Undertale has a freaking amazing soundtrack. Also, I’m still quite fond of the Homestuck music albums.... They have a lot of great songs for setting a mood.

6. What’s the best way to piss off your main OC?

Tell her she’s not good enough to be worthy of something. Bonus points if you imply her opinions don’t matter, or bring up her birth status. That’ll get her riled up in half a second flat.

7. What inspired you to write your current WIP(S)?

Oh boy here we go, here’s the novel. Feilan’s backstory is long and very emotional.

When I was growing up, I could never find stories to read that actually gave me what I wanted. I was raised on that early-2000s strand of Girl Power(tm) that was really obsessed with characters who are girls fighting the patriarchy and everyone cares that they’re girls because there’s clearly nothing more important about their characters........ Either that or they were just straight up annoying. I adored Winx Club but every time the girls went shopping another piece of me died. I had a well-established Not Like Other Girls complex but at the same time reading characters who thought like that was really annoying? There were a lot of things I hated in the stories I read growing up: inescapable love interests, tiny sparkly boring fairies, the anti-sue genre of Plain Modest Protagonists who aren’t allowed to be powerful or even aware that they could be, female characters who can’t do anything without reminding us that they’re girls and girls can’t normally do this but I can and look how special that is!!, the inevitable Girl Media Shopping Montage... et cetera.

I didn’t want that. I wanted Lord of the Rings, but with girls, and maybe a cute boy!Galadriel. I wanted a story where girls being heroes wasn’t a big deal, or even worth questioning. I couldn’t find those things, so I decided I’d make my own, drawn out of my shameless childhood power fantasies. Feilan is an aggressive defiance of pretty much all the tropes in the last paragraph. I’ve stuck to it so doggedly because even now, I still have trouble finding stories with the kinds of characters I want to read about. I’ve always been super invested in stories about characters who are Like Me, who are girls with feminine and masculine interests, who have ADHD but are still smart anyways, who are short and built strong instead of slender. I used to refuse to watch cartoons unless there was at least one blonde girl that I could latch onto who wasn’t a stereotype Popular Girl. More recently, I want to see characters who are bi like me, where nobody makes a big deal out of it. I don’t even like romance stories, I don’t understand why it has to matter if X likes girls and boys! Just let her do that and get her girlfriend and get back to saving the world! And I fucking hate stories that pretend to be progressive by driving in over and over again how X character is a girl, X character is so gay--the ultimate result is just reminding me that I’m weird somehow. By... being a person, I guess. I hate those narratives so much but especially in mainstream YA, they’re practically inevitable?

So I wanted to write Feilan so I could have the story I wanted to read but never found, about characters who are like me and dealing with my problems and my strengths and my fears. And I’ve kept writing it because I still want that, and I want Feilan to be that story for other people too, because I don’t think I’m alone here. It’s also a major outlet for my emotions.

This is a long answer, but I think it’s pretty clear why. :)

8. What is the last book/series you finished reading?

The last book I read was an English translation of Ghost Opera by Mercedes Roffe, which I read for a class I’m taking right now in the art of translation. It’s very far away from my usual fantasy genre, but I really enjoyed it! If you like neat artsy poetry, give it a look sometime, especially if you speak Spanish and can experience it in the original language.

9. What finally made you say, “Wow! I really like writing, I’m gonna keep doing this”?

When I was in fourth grade I won a local writing contest with a cute little poem about nature, and I got to go to a book fair event and read it out loud in a fancy auditorium, and I was SO UNBELIEVABLY STOKED. My mom was really proud of me, too. A couple people complimented the poem to me afterwards and it made my year. I decided that I wanted to win again the next year, and started taking poetry more seriously.

10. What’s your favorite thing about writing?

Rereading my work. It’s so incredible to me sometimes, because I can and will cry over events in my own story, and I get so happy reading over the triumphs of my own OCs that I wrote out with my own hands and there’s something so beautiful and powerful about seeing these ideas that I created in my brain grow wings and fly. I cried a lot, when I printed out the first draft of Feilan’s book 1 and held it in my hands. That’s mine! I did that! I did all of that, and now I can hold it and see it and show people!

I’m now tagging @pumapauus @greenhousewriting @jaidynwrites @hklunethewriter and anyone else who’s interested to answer these 10 questions, then write your own and pass it on! Feel free to ignore if you don’t have the time :) Anyone else who sees this and is interested, you’re welcome to answer too and say I tagged you!

1. What does your workspace look like? Do you have a designated ‘writing area’?

2. Do you prefer to write solo heroes or ensemble casts?

3. Which of your characters reminds you the most of yourself?

4. What’s one trait your main OC has that you wish you had, too?

5. Have you changed or removed any major elements of your current WIP since its original draft/concept? What was the biggest change, and why did you make it?

6. If you had to give your main WIP a theme song, what would it be?

7. What’s your favorite non-writing-related hobby?

8. What are some of your favorite books?

9. What’s your favorite trope to read and/or write? What’s your least favorite?

10. What do you love most about your own work and why?

#taz talks #tag game #i got reasonably emotional over some of these answers lol

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space-racoon · 4 years

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✨Meet the Daydreamer!✨

I decided to fill out this template made by @babydollsmadd! (edited for my immersive daydreaming)

Name/Nickname: Ollie

Age: Minor

Pronouns: They/them

Star Sign:Saggatarius

MBTI: INFP-T

Likes: I like listening to music,making art, reading, writing and playing videogames! (Also daydreaming ofc) I also really like Autumn.

Dislikes: Im a picky eater, so there is alot of food i dont eat. I dont like hearing a song that triggers my daydreaming and then not being able to pace. I also dont like it when i have to listen to music with one broken earbud because it throws off my daydreaming. I also dislike people who dont care about others.

Hobbies: I like making art and writing. Im going to try and pick up sewing and skateboarding soon!

Fav Colors: Yellow,light green and pastel purplish blue. They make me happy!

For how long have been immersive daydreaming?

Ive been doing it at least since i was 12, but i remember having some paras vaugely before then (my memory is really bad, so i only kinda remember the paras, and ive mostly forgotten the storylines,but i do know most of them revolved around music)

When did you discover the term/community?

The first time i heard about the community, i was twelve and heard about Maladaptive Daydreaming. Everything fit except the “unable to controll the daydreams” thing (the daydreaming being maladaptive), so i decided it didnt apply to me and held off looking into it for a couple of years. Recently, i decided to look into it again and found the term “Immersive Daydreamer” which fits me perfectly.

In which ways does daydreaming affect your daily life?

It doesnt affect it negatively, but i do use it to cope with my home situation and dysphoria. The only problem i have really is people walking in on me pacing;but my family has gotten used to it by now so i don’t get looked at as weird as i used to.

(Also sometimes i daydream in movie theatres and my stimming disrupts my family a bit, but i can control it and stop, i just get really excited sometimes :])

How many Paras do you have? How developed are they?

I’ve done a rough headcount and i have 32(ish? im pretty sure im forgetting some less developed ones, and also im not including my parames because theyre self inserts) and they all vary in how developed they are (depending on the paracosm/universe because sometimes i reuse paras).

The paras ive developed the most (and also the ones i remember having the longest) are Skylar and Adam (ill introduce them later!)

What media do you use for Daydreaming related things? (Examples would be music, books or social media platforms.)

I use music mostly. Sometimes if i read a book/watch a movie or tv show and i really like it ill take the plotline and add it to an existing cosm/make a new one. I also use tumblr (i.e. this blog).

Assuming you have a MaDD blog, in what ways did that change how you view and interact with your daydreams/Paras?

I havent had the blog for super long, but it hasnt changed much!

Is there a special meaning behind the name of your blog? How did you choose it?

I asked my friends to help me name it and picked the suggestions i like the most!

Do you want to add anything? Here you can say something about yourself that you want to share!

I’m really excited to meet new people who understand what its like to immersively daydream (im pretty much the only one i know that does it in my friend group)! Feel free to say hi! I can be pretty shy, but ill try my best to talk!

#immersive daydreaming #my daydreams #daydreaming #the racoon speaks

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heartcatchland · 7 years

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Sun and Moon? Also how do you think your own age relates to the ages of your characters?

sun - who’s your youngest para? oldest? (age in daydream, not how long you’ve had them.)

My youngest para would probably be Nicki’s little sister Mimi, but she’s not all that relevant in it to be honest hahaha but she’s five

And my oldest para is Mamie who is 24

Moon - who’s your og para, your very first? are they still around?

Well if I was to go wayyyyy back, my first para would maybe have been Sarah and Charlie who were my “imaginary friends” when I was around 5 or 6, but because that wasn’t a fully developed paracosm, I don’t know if I would necessarily count that

My first para who was part of a more detailed world would have been my parame that I first made at around 10 (???) who was called Wesley and then her friends were mostly made at the same time as her so her boyfriend Danny and her best friend Janie too.

These paras aren’t around anymore as who they were exactly, but its clear to me that some of my key paras from back then sort of contributed characteristics to the ones I have now. So like, Wesley is not in my paracosm anymore, but there are parts of her present within Jex. And there are parts of Janie and Danny in Kiki and Kyle. So they are sort of around, but not really.

How do you think your own age relates to the ages of your characters - Well, in the past Jex used to always be at least a year older than me because I didn’t like my age, so when I was 13 she was 14 etc. But eventually I just made her the same age as myself because I don’t mind my age now, and the other characters are all around that age too. I think the majority of my other characters are older than me as opposed to younger and I think that might be due to my need for a guide in life, so my character has a lot of support from older friends (which is especially important because her parents are not present in her life)

Thank you so much for asking!!! i went on a bit of a rant hahaha

#banswer #actuallymadd

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