#but also my closest internship friend--who set me up w one of these current dudes (gn)--invited me to her birthday party

[notjanine]

okay so our internship cohort is pretty tight and mostly women, so we be girl talkin. and the girls have gotten invested in my love life, partly bc this situation is so ridiculous and partly bc they're not autistic so they're like Omg you just talked with them directly about your wants and needs?! multiple of these bitches have expressed their desire to live vicariously through me in the context of all this etc etc. so anyway. a bunch of us are chatting about this after class and it's fun and loud, so Messy Guy comes up like Ooh what are we talking about?! and classmate is like Al out here dating two people, living the dream!! and i had to leave for a meeting before i could catch his reaction but they were still giggling about it when i left so l m a o

#part of me feels bad for him bc now i know him so well i know he will continue to cause his own problems #and he lacks the self-awareness to understand why. but part of me is also like. does he know how bad he fucked up does he have regrets lmao #but also my closest internship friend--who set me up w one of these current dudes (gn)--invited me to her birthday party #she was like It'll be cool it'll be chill not too big and you'll know people- Bookstore and Messy Guy will be there! #Y'ALL WHAT DO I DO #she doesn't know i hooked up with messy guy #i told bookstore enough about messy guy that they might be able to guess if they met him #and also tbqh messy guy is messy but i still kinda have the hots for him like #if he were to hit me up on the right day i might still say yes. like i don't actively want to add him to the rotation but. he is SO hot #also also my friend KNEW bookstore was packing heat when she set me up w them!! and we have been girl talking!! #so i already told her they're like twice the size of the last one! so if #if she figures out that messy guy is the last one then she has to know that about him!! #also she knows that the last one was shitty and did some shitty things that he shouldn't have done #and that would definitely affect their friendship #OOF. i wanna go bc i love her so much but what if. mess happens! #i have two and a half weeks to decide #but who knows if i'll even be messing with bookstore still everything is weird rn #gossshhhhhh #and i still. still have to coordinate w these two dudes about hanging out this week/end #and on top of all of that i'm about to start at a new three week internship rotation #which i just found out is going to be much more intense than i expected #and i have a huge semester-long project due tonight lmao #everything happens so much indeed #can't wait to get railed and turn my brain the fuck OFF for a while. but i gotta figure out by whom when!!! #lizzo_boys.mp3