#but I feel like showing my grandparents that I'm in a very negative attitudy mood blatantly would end ....not badly

[disorderly]

Everything is triggering again

#I wish it was more obvious to my grandpa when I'm in a bad mood and don't wanna be talked at #like he's super sweet but all he talks about are his own interests really and things I don't quite understand #because I'm not from their generation #but I feel like showing my grandparents that I'm in a very negative attitudy mood blatantly would end ....not badly #but at least at home I was allowed to be snippy and pissy because it just suited the general demeanor of my parents #and I guess one thing about that dynamic that while sucked ass is if we got into an argument #I could start saying the meanest shit in return to my dad cause he was saying it back to me and we just. #pretended we didn't just tell one another to rot in hell and that they'd be better off dead on the side of the street #don't want a dynamic like that AGAIN...but at least it gave me a valid reason to be straight up pissy #if I had any sort of attitude here I DO think I'd be stared at and feel like an overall outcast // villian suddenly #but here...idk my grandma would probably understand but I'd be stared at...it'd be awkward....she'd probably IDEK #being moody and having a huge attitude doesn't fit in with people who are pretty... neutral #my grandma only seems to have attitude when she's joking about things and she never airs on the getting pissy EVER #vent