#bonus bonus: ka ren vs dracula. no details on that one i just want it to exist in the world

[strange-destinations]

....I need you to break down which Game of Rassilon characters would survive Dracula now please.

ah fuck okay, here we go. going by @canyourfavesurvivecastledracula's set of critera at the top of the blog...

Riley!Doctor - Wouldn't take the crucifix because she's already got several spare ones in her pockets, somewhere, maybe, she'll go looking for them later. Of course she's sneaking around and getting nosy. It's what she does. Holds Dracula's attention well enough until he says something really blatantly evil, and then she promptly snaps and ruins everything and turns the whole deal into a survival horror game. Finds a rusting sword somewhere and beats the three vampire gfs back with it. Uses her scarf to rappel her way down the side of the castle, and uses a combination of Venusian Akido and clever sonic screwdriver technobabble to disrupt the vampiric influence on the wolves. She's the Doctor. She'll be fine.

Millie - the real-life Amelia Earhart was somewhat religious, so I can easily see her taking the crucifix if offered. Talking and climbing aren't what's going to save her here. Her greatest strength is piloting and repurposing things. In the absense of a plane or spaceship, she might very well hijack the carriage Dracula drove in on. 50/50 chance of her managing to pull this off.

Travis Killian - Travis's greatest strength lies in his ability to fuck with technology, and unfortunately castle Dracula is not wi-fi enabled. He's genre-savvy enough and probably knows enough vampire lore to get a good grasp on what's going on, but that's not going to save him. I don't doubt his ability to survive a few terrifying conversations with the Count, but I do doubt his ability to climb down a ladder, let alone a massive castle wall. Probably going to die without assistance, let's hope he asks for help.

Roman - Roman would try to shoot Dracula several times and miss, every time; but that only happens at the climax of this little disaster. Vampires and Time Lords are natural enemies, so he'd have a pretty good idea what's going on from the start. Being left in a creepy old building owned by a malicious entity that wants him to suffer and lose his mind is kind of already Roman's thing, so he gets bonus points for that. Roman can absolutely talk his way around Dracula and in fact I'd pay actual money to see those conversations. When things inevitably go to shit and he has to run like hell, the aforementioned bad Marksman score kicks in. He fails to even so much as wound Dracula, and probably isn't remotely equipped to climb down the castle walls. The wolves probably get him. Sorry, Roman. He dies, but don't worry, it's all part of the plan.

Carrie Vu - after ascertaining that someone really weird is going on in the town, would turn up at Castle Dracula's front doors and offer him girl scout cookies that she doesn't own in order to sneak in and snoop around. Dracula would not be fooled but would let her in anyway. Every conversation between Carrie and Dracula is the equivalent of getting beat around the head with a rubber chicken. There's no way to predict how any of this will go. Dracula is too bemused and off-balance to contemplate killing her at first. Gets very very offended when he calls her iPhone a foul bauble of man's vanity. Would manage to get at least one good whack in with her baseball bat. The vampire GFs do eventually get her and things look hopeless, but the Corsair swings in at the last moment to rescue her, and the resulting scene is like something off the front cover of a horny romance novel.

Dan!Doctor - Would take the crucifix, insist on paying or giving something back, comedic 5-minute sequence of him pulling random currency and bizarre items out of his pockets. Solemnly promises to do something about the babies getting stolen and eaten, and this is his entire life goal for the next few weeks. Probably manages Dracula marginally better than Riley!Doctor, can keep up and hold a conversation while carefully plotting his exit route. Locates every coffin and regretfully destroys them. Very thoroughly makes sure that no part of Dracula's cunning real estate plan will ever come to pass. Escapes Castle Dracula by jumping out a window because climbing is too slow. He's good at falling off things, he'll be fine probably.

Lita Fane - Lita's wary enough that I have serious doubts she'd even go up to the castle in the first place unless coerced or forced into it. She feels much more like the person to stay down in the town and try to help the people living there. Assuming she has to go to the castle anyway - I don't know if the crucifix would be even recognizable to her as an important item, so she'd probably just be really confused about it, might take it just to be polite. Engineering skills aren't really helpful to her here. I don't think she'd be great at talking to the Count, either. Dracula sets off every red flag possible for her - Lita's having a bad time. It doesn't feel like she'd be an especially great climber, either. Lita's a survivor, but probably not in this case. Vampires were never really the thing she learned how to survive.

Stanley Campbell - Oh, god. Sorry, but there's just no way Stanley would notice that Dracula is even remotely a vampire until it's way WAY too late. 50/50 on him taking the crucifix but I'm thinking maaaybe not. He'd probably end up wandering. Dracula would lose interest in his tangents very very fast. He ain't climbing his way out, with OR without crocs. One way or another, he's not moseying his way out of this one.

bonus: Joseph!Doctor - a stick is just a stake that hasn't been sharpened yet. Dracula's going down.

#the game of rassilon #dracula #bonus bonus: ka ren vs dracula. no details on that one i just want it to exist in the world