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#best fictional skeleton. fight me bitch
whaticannotshowyou · 4 years
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1/2 Hey there ^^ Such a pleasure to see you among us again! I have a prompt, if you want it. It has vomiting, but I don't know if you'd like it: what if (modern au I'd say) Jaskier has eating disorders, and makes himself throw up after every meal? He's so sad, so depressed, he hates himself for it, but he can't help doing it, it's like a drug. And Geralt finds out, and for one reason or the other, fixes him with his magic cock.
2/2 very much consensual, but both get off on Geralt degrading him at some point, asking how he can expect to be a good slut if he's too weak to take a good pounding?
Under a cut for once due to ED triggers. Please don’t read if it’s a sensitive issue for you.
Want to preface this with saying that I’m a slut for this kind of angst, but also has enough experience to know that cock doesn’t magically heal shit like this. So don’t @ me this is fiction and also a porn blog so idk what you expect.
Jaskier got into the whole theatre and music scene early on tbh and probably got all kinds of backhanded compliments about his appearance as young, how he was so pretty and skinny! So when puberty hits properly he probably doesn’t even question it as he starts limiting himself from food to keep it all up. Depression amd anxiety being a bitch as he finally becomes an adult, Jaskier has a harder time being good and not overeat. That’s when he turns to purging.
It’s easier that way as well, being able to eat with his friends and family like everything is normal and then just take a quick break in the bathroom to get it back up. Even better yet: it shows reaults sooooo much quicker than diets and exercise, losing all but a fraction of the calories he consumes while still keeping up the apperance of being a regular guy! No one pays him enough attention to wonder why he always has to leave for a few minutes after meals, sometimes even during, nor why he comes back with sweat on his brow and panting like he had just ran a marathon.
He gets into a few relationships over the years but they never stick, Jaskier always distancing himself any of them mention how he should gain just a little more weight or when they start mentioning the way he shakes after leaving the bathroom. It’s more important to keep himself in check, keep himself pretty and in control as he pukes his guts up into the toilet bowl a few times a day. That’s when he meets Geralt.
Hoenstly Jaskier went to university believing he wouldn’t make himself known, far too caught up in his inner turmoil to thinknhe would make much friends, but he gets himself a small group who seems to like him well enough to keep him around. He thought even less about the idea of his roommate being in any way interested in his life. Well, turns out Geralt is, because within a month or so he has already decided to push Jaskier against the wall and bark at him to stop being a neurotic freak and throw up twice a day in their shared bathroom. Which is a whole slap to his ego considering Jaksier thought he was being oretty good at hiding that.
He feels the bruises for days, his back aching from where the man slammed him against the wall and his frail joints blemished from where he gripped him tightly. Still, Jaskier kind of likes the marks and reminders, a testimony to just how good he has been at keeping himself in control despite the turmoil of moving and starting school again. And it’s good fodder for his cock as he jerks off to the idea of Geralt calling him those despicable things again ehile fucking into him hard and leaving more bruises for the world to see.
Eventually Geralt sits him down and says he has had enough, that he will not have the guy collapse and die on him. It’s... weirdly sweet despite his words being snarled out, far better than the way his past friends and lovers had been beating around the bush over and over while trying to confront him. Jaskier decides he likes the honesty. He also decides he really likes the way Geralt snarls at him and lashes out when he says he won’t stop.
Maybe he just decides to fuck the defiance out of the man right there and then, easily beding him over the table like it’s nothing - not too far off considering Jaskier can barely move his own body around at times - and fucking into him as he calls him a stupid brat. Jaskier is far more into the aggressive coupling than he thought he would be, so he makes no attempt to stop him and instead keens at the man’s vuce grip on his hips and mewls at the knowledge that it will leave nasty bruises for weeks. Geralt calls him a whore for enjoying himself so much, a useless little slut for thinking he actually wants to fuck a skeleton of a man like him. He likes his boys feisty, able to fight back. Jaskier decides he can make an attempt for that if it means Geralt will have him.
As time goes on, Jaskier does in fact get healthier with the hlp of Geralt. While he still can’t keep a full meal down for too long, he tries his best and settles for smaller portions for the time being. Soon enough he can in fact fight back, Geralt making up for the way his skin doesn’t bruise as easily by being all the more cruel. Self loathing bitch as he is, Jaskier still moans the loudest when Geralt berates him for being such a useless whore, forcing him to be gentle as to not break the man when they fuck. Surely, Jaskier feels the way he grips his wrists harder and harder for each kilogram he gains back, less afraid of snapping his bones in two the healthier he gets.
Relapses happen, of course. Jaskier maybe sees his reflection as Geralt fucking him against a mirror or the other says just the wrong string of words to force him back into it again, but they are fewer and further in between the more time passes so the two manages it together.
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gabriel-gabdiel · 4 years
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【Draft】Rurouni Yahiko Chapter 51: A Casket of Secrets
Kinta Minakata has uncovered a casket of secrets from his family, much to his chagrin.
Rurouni Yahiko Chapter 51: A Casket of Secrets
Back in Shimabara, six years ago...
Kinta Minakata (the Shogo Amakusa doppelganger) had finished another sparring session with Kaede Morinaga (the Kenshin Himura doppelganger) with the fight ending with the Mimawarigumi Battousai narrowly winning.
This was so because "Shiro Amakusa the Second" was busy with morning mass and the healing of the sick Kakure Kirishitans (Hidden Christians) with western medicine, so he didn't have time to spar with the warrior woman.
"STOP RUNNING AWAY AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!" demanded the tempestuous Kaede. "COWARD!"
"....But you're a girl," said Kinta, which resulted in him backpedaling from a screaming Morinaga's Scorpion Nest (multiple sword swipes from two swords).
Ah, so he was right. This time around, Kaede was a girl. Because sometimes, she instead claimed she was a boy. Like a woman possessed by different spirits.
Morinaga was a curious lady. Sometimes she fought like a ferocious tigress. Other times, she was as frustrating to battle as a snapping turtle hiding inside a thick shell.
Once in a "blue moon", when she was consumed with bloodlust and bad memories, she became a mix of both.
He even heard that when she tied her hair like a topknot, she even looked like the Legendary Hitokiri Battousai himself, but he personally had no idea. He never met his Battousai namesake.
Blocking every strike and countering sharply. She was a yin and yang of patient defense and inimitable offense.
She didn't only fight with a different style every time but also with a different attitude. It was like fighting three different people altogether.
"DAMMIT!" she screamed and threw her shinai (bamboo blade) at Kinta, who parried it almost automatically with his own weapon. "I want a rematch! Round two! Next time, I'll break every bone in your body, you sullen Shogo-sama wannabe!"
"Go ahead," Minakata dared with a half-smile (or half-frown). "A broken bone becomes stronger once healed."
Morinaga harrumphed. "Admitting defeat already, Kagemusha?"
"...I believe in kintsukuroi (gold repair)," he stated matter-of-factly. "Whatever that's broken can be fixed. Made even better than before."
"How naive. Spoken like a privileged, spoiled samurai." Kaede laughed then grimaced. "There are some broken things that can never be fixed, no matter how hard you try."
Rurouni Yahiko
A Rurouni Kenshin Continuation Fan Fiction Story by Chester Castañeda
Not-so-fabulous secrets are about to be revealed. A skeleton or two might even pop out.
Disclaimer: All characters used in this fanfic (save some others) are the rightful property of Nobuhiro Watsuki, Shueisha, Shonen Jump, Viz, Sony Studios, Fuji TV, Studio Gallup, Studio Deen, and ADV. This disclaimer also covers all the other copyrighted material that are far too many to mention here. Don't sue me please, I'm very poor.
Chapter 51: A Casket of Secrets
Somewhere in Yokohama, back at the Minakata safe house, Kinta Minakata reminisced about his time with Shogo and the Hidden Christians.
Kinta also wondered how a fight between Kaede and Soujiro would go.
He'd fought both, after all. Which one was better?
From his experience, unless something changed between the six years he last fought Morinaga, then Seta would probably win.
Especially the Soujiro whose feelings and bad intentions Minakata couldn't read at all: His "Heaven Sword" self.
So what made the Mimawarigumi Battousai think about Shogo's apprentice now of all times? Nostalgia, perhaps.
Or something to distract him from the depressing news he got about his dear ol' grandfather. Of happier times with Shogo, Sayo, Kaede, and the Hidden Christians that he called family once upon a time.
Before Kinta betrayed them to the Meiji Government.
Like grandfather like grandchild, apparently.
Although the fight with Tetsuo Akahori's latest pawn, Soujiro Seta, was one that Kinta Minakata almost lost, he was still able to retrieve documents of the utmost importance.
So in the end, he won. Kind of.
They were samples of the decoded papers that should help the Sanada Ninja Clan in unraveling the mysteries behind the Seiryu Clan's volume of the Black Book.
"...."
The decoders of the clan (since secret messages were among the specialties of these shadow warriors) came up first with the messages and correspondences from the bakufu to the Minakatas and back along with plans of wiping off the rebellious Ishin Shishi rebels.
The families involved in the creation of the Black Book, the Four Clans, were government spies that were tasked to preserve Japanese culture but ended up becoming embroiled in Bakumatsu politics themselves.
They covered all bases from both sides of the conflict... the Shogunate and the Patriots... while at the same time having no dog in the fight. They had loyalty to neither faction or to themselves but pretended that they did.
The Seiryu Clan represented the Bakufu or the Shogunate.
The Byakko Clan represented the Japanese Imperial Army and the Shinsengumi.
The Suzaku Clan represented the Ishin Shishi Patriots.
And the Genbu Clan represented the Rebel Samurai and the Hitokiri or Manslayers of the Ishin Shishi.
Whoever they represented, they had an extensive catalog of their info and members. The Four Clans were supposed to be objective observers outside the conflict looking in, gathering information out of all sides and exchanging them among each other for the sake of gaining favor of the government when the war was over, regardless of which side wins.
As typical of such setups, the Four Clans started to backstab each other, throwing objectivity under the horse carriage and vying for supremacy by taking a gamble and backing what they viewed were the ultimate victors of the war.
Because of this, some clans were wiped out completely. The Suzaku Clan, for example, was discovered by the Ishin Shishi as traitors and killed by their best hitokiri.
However, the Sanada Ninjas and the Mimawarigumi Battousai soon realized that relaying government secrets weren't the only things that the Black Book's secret codes were used for.
Back in the hideout of the kidnappers in the middle of the Hiroshima woods...
The rider from before arrived in time to attack Yahiko Myojin and Kaede Morinaga with his bullwhip, saying, "...I see you came too late ta save 'er, ya bitch! Da boss already got 'er, didn't he? Serves ya right!"
Yahiko Myojin, still miffed from before, grabbed hold of the whip before it cracked, let it loop around his wrist, then pulled the hooligan towards him in order to hogtie him with his own weapon.
"I got to your cowardly boss before he could touch her. We got here just in time," Myojin countered.
The bullwhip rider still wouldn't shut up, though. "Dun matter. I've seen the same look in her eyes from many a horse with a broken spirit! There's no fight in her left! She's dead inside! Soiled fer life! HAHAHAmmph!"
Yahiko had to tie a gag on the criminal just to keep him quiet.
Meanwhile, the one girl Kaede Morinaga wanted to save the most on that day... Mariko... broke down right before her eyes.
Her spirit was shattered into pieces like Kaede's. Realizing what had almost happened to her.
The pale Mariko looked back at the redhead with cloudy eyes, her quivering lips opening as though to say something.
Morinaga grabbed hold of the girl by the shoulders and looked her in the eyes to help her treat the wounds of her past.
Saying things that another special someone in her life had said to her before. Shogo Amakusa's words.
"He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her," she quoted Shogo, who in turn quoted Jesus Christ from the Christian Bible's New Testament.
"Minoe-san..." Mariko trailed off, unaware of Kaede's multiple personalities, thus calling her by the name she knew her first.
"I'm not saying that because you've done anything wrong, Mariko. You're obviously not at fault here. These... criminals have no right to judge you. Listen to me. You are not soiled. You are not somehow 'less' of a person than any of us. Any of them, especially. They're scum. Don't let anyone ever say otherwise, y'hear?"
"...."
The clouds in Mariko's eyes lifted before, with a quibbling mouth and sobs that wracked her body, she hugged Morinaga tightly. She said, "...I was so scared!"
As for Yahiko, he grabbed hold of Takae's straw kabuto and placed it over his head to the point of covering his eyes, as though tipping it at the girls. He then walked away to let them have their moment.
"...Thank you for saving me. Good thing you got here on time," Mariko said after her sobs had finally subsided.
Kaede scratched her head. "N-No. The one who rescued you was my good friend, Yahiko."
Mariko smiled wanly. "Well, he saved me too. You both did."
"Oh." Morinaga looked away and smiled herself, nodding once and borrowing her other self's catchphrase. "Mochiron (But of course)."
As for Yahiko, he realized that he still had much to learn. He still needed more training if Kaede of all people had to stop him from murdering that bandit.
He merely wanted to be as strong as Soujiro and Kaede but not to the point of becoming as crazy as them.
Or was sanity the price of strength? To fight monsters, you had to become one?
No, you didn't have to. Kenshin proved that it wasn't the case.
A couple of hours later, the police arrived on the scene along with Chizuru Raikouji (who helped deliver the other kidnapped girls back to their homes in Hiroshima) in order to arrest the hooligans.
Kinta Minakata had heard all sorts of stories about his late grandfather from his mother's side: The Late Great Toshiro Minakata. The former head of the Minakata Clan and Seiryu Clan. A legendary samurai in his own right.
He was a swashbuckling, seafaring samurai... a Japanese buccaneer of the seas... who safeguarded trade and battled against Chinese smugglers and European invaders of the South China Sea during the period when Japan isolated itself from the rest of the world (also known as Sakoku), thus trade was restricted only in certain ports in the country.
Toshiro was among the samurais responsible for controlling Dejima and Nagasaki trade on behalf of the Bakufu while at the same time being part of the secret alliance of the Four Clans as the head of the Seiryu Clan.
It was under his watch that the Portuguese were expelled from the country while at the same time, the Shogunate engaged with discussions with Korean and Dutch representatives so that the overall volume of trade didn't suffer.
Kinta took a look at his inherited sword, the Akatsuki. Unlike ordinary samurai blades using "pig metal" or Japanese steel with low carbon content, it instead used steel melted straight from the swords of the fallen Portuguese, Spanish, and Dutch smugglers. High-carbon European steel.
The katana, despite its popularity as a collector item among westerners or its beauty and style, was actually a comparatively fragile sword designed to be manufactured on a budget.
Japan didn't have very good access to good quality metals like European countries did. The majority of katanas were made out of low-class steel to save resources.
Furthermore, only the front part was made of good metal and even that was merely coated with a small, thin sheet of it (and sprinkled with carbon powder as they were forged). The back end or spine of the average Japanese sword was incredibly frail.
It also wasn't the defining weapon of the samurai. That would be the spear or the naginata that the Sakaguchi's adopted daughter "Satsuki" used. At certain time periods, the bow was instead the military's primary armament.
Additionally, according to some of the more disdainful European merchants and blacksmiths that his grandfather traded steel with, nothing about the "overrated" katana was completely unique to Japan.
Similarly shaped curves in blades existed in European and Indian sword creation in one form or another. The process of folding steel multiple times was also used by Vikings hundreds of years earlier.
The standards of the world was eye opening to any Japanese in Sakoku Era Japan who believed that Japan was number one at everything, especially in light of the superior military technology that the world's superpowers of the 18th Century possessed.
All the same, this knowledge Toshiro gained resulted in him getting a Japanese sword forged with European steel. The best of both worlds in design and toughness.
The former Minakata head's military exploits and iron fist when it came to upholding the Sakoku Edict of the Bakufu was legendary. Indeed, Kinta's proud Minakata and Akahori lineages were what allowed him into the Mimawarigumi Army in the first place.
It was also during this time that Toshiro made use of naval codes to better facilitate the exchange of secrets between the Four Clans before they ultimately split up and chose sides during the Bakumatsu Era.
On top of all that, Kinta's grandpa used his influence as the head of the Minakata Clan to form what was known in modern times as their zaibatsu (Financial Group)... the Minakata Zaibatsu... with its riches taken from the importation and development of new drugs using western medicine, leading to the development of their Minakata Pharmaceuticals subsidiary.
His grandfather was ahead of the curve and hedged his bets accordingly. He knew that the writing was on the wall when it came to samurai privileges due to changing times. In the Meiji Era, if you wanted to remain in power, then you should get it through money instead of blood and prestige.
However, there were also rumors of Toshiro taking advantage of his high government position back in the Sakoku Era to run his own opium cartel on the down low.
This was just a baseless accusation and pure speculation, of course. Rumors and conjectures that the envious enemies of the Minakatas would use to drag their good name to the mud.
These same critics went on a feeding frenzy like sharks against their family when Kinta's mother had an affair with a foreign dignitary, leading to the murder of the same gaijin in the hands of Kinta's livid father, who then committed seppukku (ritual suicide) afterwards to protect his honor.
The slander that resulted from the incident made Kinta quite skeptical in regards to the assumptions people made about his father selling out his dignity and samurai blood for illegal drug money.
These accusations were never proven, at least. They were just conspiracy theories from idle minds at best.
At least, that was what Kinta hoped they were.
Right?  
However, the recently discovered naval codes he got from the errand boy of his uncle from his father's side... Tetsuo Akahori... ultimately revealed the truth behind the elusive Seiryu Chapter of the Black Book. And his family.
An inconvenient truth.
By the time everything was sorted out at the police station and everybody from their group had a good night's sleep, the Sanbaka (Three Stooges) soon rejoined May Brooks/Satsuki Sakaguchi and her best friend, Chizuru Raikouji at a cafe near the Hiroshima train station.
The Great Gan, Yahiko Myojin, and Munenori Minoe arrived in time to bid their wistful goodbyes to the departing young teacher.
Reading the mood, Yahiko didn't mention anything about yesterday's storming at the camp of bandit kidnappers to Minoe. The Tokyo Samurai Descendant hoped that the eye-patched spy could figure out on his own the exploits of his female self, Kaede.
The three arrived just in time to overhear the conversation between the two best friends'... love life, of all things.
"...Oh my! You're such a damp squib, Chizuru-san! Especially with how you'd dare compare Kinta-sama to your crush, the vagabond. They are not alike at all!" said Satsuki.
They were apparently in the middle of some sort of conversation about Kenshin Kamiya (nee Himura) and Kinta Minakata (the man whom May had a crush on).
After Chizuru and May exchanged pleasantries, bows, and hellos with each other and the Sanbaka, the buxom blonde teacher then asked, "You're not making this vagabond guy up, are you? He's no make-believe boyfriend of yours, right?"
As Minoe mouthed, 'Damp squib? What's that?' the Raikouji heiress insisted, "HE EXISTS! But he's not my boyfriend, damn you! Anyway, Yahiko knows him! Tell her, Yahiko! Tell her about Homura Kenshi!"
'...Who the hell is that?' thought Myojin. 'Has she been infected by Gan's nicknaming sickness too? Get it together, Chizuru!'
Unwilling to bring up Kenshin Himura in Minoe's presence (lest his other personality, Kaede, was summoned by the name she hated the most), Yahiko decided to change the subject.
Ignoring Chizuru, the samurai boy told May, "I didn't know you practiced martial arts! You were amazing back at that kidnapper's hideout!"
He then remembered that, oh yeah, even Satsuki's stepsister Kyoko Sakaguchi from back in Shinshu practiced swordsmanship. Duh.
"HEY!" The Kaoru look-alike then stomped on Yahiko's foot with her booted foot, which he also didn't react to despite the pain. "I was talking to you, you rude boy!"
"...Do you pratice battoujutsu too?" Yahiko inquired further, recalling how close Kyoko was to fighting Soujiro and wondering how she would've fared. "Sorry, I meant iaijutsu," he corrected himself, remembering that battoujutsu was the old term for the Japanese sword-drawing style.
"Oh, good heavens no! I only use the naginata. I've never drawn a sword out of a sheathe in my entire life!" May tilted her head to the side. "Wait a tick, how did you know Musou Madden Ryu is an iaijutsu swordsmanship school, Joshua-kun?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Raikouji answered for Myojin. "I met Yahiko back when I was staying with the Sakaguchis in Shinshu. He knows Kyoko-chan! He even saw her wield her grandfather's sword that one time!"
"Oh, you've met my baby sister?" asked the adopted gaijin daughter of the Sakaguchis. "I haven't seen her in a while! Isn't she the cutest?"
Yahiko scratched the back of his head and admitted, "Y-Yeah, I guess she's kinda cute," while eyeing a smirking Chizuru from behind May. "...Don't start with me, Tanuki-chan (Miss Raccoon Dog)."
"I didn't say anything!" Chizuru feigned ignorance. "Also, that ain't my name, Yoshi-boy! Who are you calling a raccoon dog?"
All the same, Satsuki winked at Yahiko and invited, "If you want, spar with me sometime."
The grinning Chizuru then teased the adopted Sakaguchi child, asking, "What would Mister Frowny-Faced Samurai Guy say if he saw you flirting with another guy, Satsuki-chan?"
The Enlightened Gan then hit his palm in his fist, taking note to remember the "Frowny-Faced Samurai Guy" nickname that "Kaori-neechan"  came up with. Because he had his priorities straight.
With squinted eyes and a cherry pink blush, Satsuki grabbed Chizuru by the shoulders and shook her around.
"WAH! That's a load of cobblers and codswallop, Chizuru-san! And you know it! I'm not flirting with anyone! You Japanese are so shy that simply being friendly with someone seems like flirting to you people!"
Chizuru's sneering smile widened even while being shaken. Meanwhile, Yahiko looked away and Gan outright stared at the... jiggling girls. One of them jiggling more than the other.
"Oho, I thought you were Japanese too, Satsuki-chan," teased the Kaoru look-alike further, staring at Satsuki's not-so-Japanese chest. "Don't you mean 'us' Japanese instead of 'you' Japanese?"
"You're a meanie, y'know that?" said May with a pout and crossed arms. "I don't even think Kinta-sama and I ever shared a chin wag outside of 'Hi, how do you do!'"
"Well, Honey, it's because he's not the 'chin wag' kind of guy," Chizuru answered, primly straightening up her ruffled kimono and ribbon. "Don't take it personally."
In the background, Minoe himself reminisced about the silent Minakata, nodding in agreement with Chizuru.
Yes, the man certainly didn't wag his chin much indeed.
From there, the Morinaga within him awakened, seething in memory of how frustrating it was to spar with the high-ranking samurai turned Shogo Amakusa body double.
The Judas Iscariot of the Hidden Christians.
Satsuki's happy expression then changed altogether as she concluded with a lower lip quibble, "So I reckon this really is farewell, huh? Cheerio, I guess?"
Chizuru kicked the snow underneath her booted feet. "Aw. And we just got back together again after so long, Satsuki-chan." The rich girl sighed.
"Huh? But aren't you coming with me, Chizuru-san?" asked Miss Brooks.
"Eh? I was?" asked Miss Raikouji in turn. "B-But...!"
"Well, of course you are! I don't see why not! You're our family friend and this is a Sakaguchi Family Reunion!" May then put her hands on her waist. "You'll do great and Bob's your uncle!"
"Who the heck's Bob?" asked Chizuru, who bit her lip, her eyes wide and darting between Yahiko and Satsuki.
Myojin sighed, shoulders slumped, then shrugged and bowed at the Raikouji heiress. "I thought I'd still see your ugly face all the way to Kyoto, but if duty calls and family friends beckon, then I guess we'll just have to say our goodbyes here and now."
"N-Now hold on a minute...!" Chizuru stuttered some more.
"Aw, come on, Yoshi-boy! You still have me!" reassured the Gregarious Gan, who leaned on top of Yahiko's spiky hair like he were a countertop and picked his nose with his sausage-sized index finger.
"...Could you take Gan with you too? He's house trained, I swear," retorted the Tokyo Samurai Descendant while pointing at the thug with his thumb.
"I-I..." stuttered Chizuru, not knowing which path to choose. Should she go with Yahiko, who knew the vagabond, or her best friend, who was about to reunite with her childhood crush?
Yahiko, Gan, and Minoe looked at each other before bursting out laughing at Chizuru.
"Wait, what's going on?" asked Chizuru. "What am I missing here? Why are you laughing at me, you Three Stooges?!"
Myojin slung his arm over Raikouji's shoulders and said, "I was just kidding. We're all going. I've changed my mind. You don't have to go with me to Kyoto or Osaka because we're coming with you and Chizuru to Yokohama."
"W-What? Hey leggo, you perv," the heiress said before shrugging off the younger boy's arm over her shoulders. "But what about your Mushi-whatever? You were supposed to go on a pilgrimage for training, right?"
"Musha Shugyo (Warrior's Pilgrimage)," Yahiko corrected without a second thought before reassuring, "Don't worry about me. This is just a li'l detour before I head on out to Kyoto. Also, I want to spar with the students of Musou Madden Ryu for good measure. I want to see Kyoko and Satsuki in action, pitting their iaijutsu with my kendo."
'...Besides, the way I am right now, with both Minoe and Soujiro able to make short work of me at my current skill level, I don't think I'm quite prepared to face Kenshin's master of all people,' he told himself, remembering how much more mature Kaede was about the bandit situation than he was.
"ALL RIGHT! I mean, you know. Whatever. That's cool," came the petered-out exclamation of Chizuru, who brushed her silken "rich girl" hair back and squirmed in her boots after her best friend and the Three Stooges saw her sudden fist pump into the air.
"Oh my! That's indeed wonderful news! You're all coming with me?" asked Miss Brooks. "You've made so many new friends, Chizuru!" she added before whispering to her best friend, "Chizuru-san, why are they coming with us again? They're not staying over at the Minakatas' like freeloaders, are they? Kinta-sama's mother isn't going to like that!"
Raikouji herself shrugged. "But that's what they are. Freeloaders. Interlopers. People who don't know how and when to mind their own business. But seriously though, they'll be staying in their own tents and inns. I guarantee they won't be a bother."
Satsuki saw the glow in Chizuru's face and cheeks then relented, "Since you're all chuffed up about it, why not? The more the merrier, I say!"
To Yahiko, Chizuru said, "I guess it can't be helped. We'll still be seeing each other again real soon. You stupid dumbasses."
"Right back at you, Raccoon Face," mumbled Myojin to Raikouji.
The Son of Tokyo Samurai then offered his hand to Satsuki for a handshake. "This is how westerners greet each other, correcct? I look forward to challenging your Musou Madden School for a spar or two. Tell 'em Myojin Yahiko from Tokyo's Kamiya Kasshin School sends his regards."
May grabbed hold of Yahiko's hand but then curtsied with her dress and bowed in traditional Japanese fashion. "I'm kind of looking forward to it myself, Joshua-kun. I know my onions when it comes to wielding long poles."
Gan guffawed in the background at that suggestive comment, which prompted Myojin to kick his shin.
"OW! It's settled then! Yoshi-boy's Musashi Gundoh continues in Yokohama, training with Miss Melon, Soba Lady's daughter, and the Stone-Faced Samurai!" declared the Boisterous Gan with a wave of his giant metal bat.
"...Soba Lady's Daughter?" Satsuki asked Chizuru.
"He means Kyoko-chan. Soba Lady is his name for Nonoko-obaasan. Because, you know, he really likes soba," explained Chizuru. "The big oaf met the Sakaguchis back in Shinshu too, along with Yahiko and Minoe."
"Ah. How... quaint. What riveting wit he has."
"Hey, at least he doesn't call her Kaori. Or Miss Melons."
"That's Miss Melon, Kaori-neechan!" corrected the Clueless Gan, which earned him swift shin kicks on each leg care of both Kaori and Miss Melon.
"YEEEOOWCH!"
"BAKA!"
After recovering from the pain, the Gabby Gan added, "Of course, we'll keep tagging along with Yoshi-boy for shits and giggles. The Sanbaka rides again. Right, Patches?"
"Mochiron!" responded Munenori.
Yahiko spared Minoe a glance, which made the wigged and eye-patched "man" smile and give him a thumb's up (because a wink was out of the question).
How could he surpass Kenshin when he couldn't defeat his two Kagemusha, the Ten Ken and the Battousai of Speed?
Also, he was more than a little curious about this Shogo doppelganger who also took on Kenshin's name, the Mimawarigumi Battousai.
Yet another Fake Battousai for him to meet. 'The plot thickens.'
Back at the kidnappers' hideout, after the local police force finally arrived along with Chizuru...
As the coppers rounded up the bandit kidnappers in shackles and handcuffs, Morinaga told Myojin, "I've made my decision. I'm going to Yokohama. I need to face off with the man who betrayed Amakusa Shogo-sama. His Kagemusha (Shadow Warrior)."
"K-Kagemusha...?" trailed of Yahiko. "What do you...?"
"It's Minakata Kinta. He served as a body double for Amakusa-sama six years ago. The Mimawarigumi Battousai. The one who betrayed the Hidden Christians to the devil himself, Akahori Tetsuo."
She turned her back on him and walked away. "Someday, when we meet again, maybe you can tell me all about Himura Kenshin. The Hitokiri Battousai."
"W-Wait, M-Morinaga...!"
He grabbed hold of Kaede and turned her around, only to end up facing the winking, gentler face of Munenori Minoe.
"Oh. I mean, Minoe. Hi."
Dammit, the Battousai of Speed ran away from him again.
Even without the wig and the eye patch, Myojin could sense the change in Kaede's demeanor after traveling with the weirdo for so long.
"AH! Yahiko-chi! What is it...?"
With a sigh and a shake of his head, Yahiko told Minoe, "I'm coming with you and May Brooks to Yokohama. We all are."
"Ah. Okay. Mochiron, Yahiko-chi!" said Munenori without thinking before blinking and realizing what the Tokyoite just told him. "Um, come again? We're going where now?"
Chasing Minoe... Kaede... and the rest of the Battousai Group was the right decision. Maybe by taking them down, Myojin would find the strength to surpass the real Battousai and bear the full weight of his heavy sakabatou.
It was silly, but his actions were spurred from seeing another chance at getting extra training to make himself stronger.
He just wanted to be stronger. He had no complex motivations of conquering Japan or avenging the death of a loved one.
He simply wished to be worthy of carrying the Battousai's... no Kenshin's... sword.
His most important inheritance.
What an idiot he was, he realized. No wonder he and Sanosuke Sagara got along so famously.
Toshiro Minakata was crazy. Crazy as a fox.
That was why he went from nobleman to merchant in order to keep his wealth and privilege regardless of which side won the Bakumatsu. This was also why he had his daughter, Kinta's mother, marry into the similarly wealthy and influential Akahoris.
He was a samurai who was ahead of the curve in regards to changing times, even though not all of his schemes went according to plan.
Like his daughter's affair with a gaijin. Or his own untimely death.
A prolific gambler in the prime of his life (like his fat lawyer son Kaneda), he knew how to hedge his bets and take calculated risks every time. Even if he lost, he'd somehow find a way to win.
According to his critics and enemies, Toshiro Minakata (allegedly) got his extra funding for his pharmaceutical business from illicit drug running. They said he was in fact a corrupt government official to the core.
The legit business that imported and made western medicine for distribution into Japanese households was the perfect front and money laundering scheme for all his illegitimate smuggling, complete with labs he could use to make both legal and illegal drugs.
The Elder Minakata got filthy rich from being a drug kingpin that no policeman could pin down until his legitimate pharmaceutical business (that he initially used as a front while using its very labs for opium processing) eventually became financially solvent itself.
It was the same bait and switch scheme done by the wealthiest families of the United States of America. Drug barons who made so much money, it lasted their family for generations to come.
However, there was no proof of such wrongdoing except rumors.
As far as the Bakufu and later the Meiji Government was concerned, Toshiro Minakata was an honest, honorable samurai turned head of a major conglomerate.
However, the naval codes unlocked info that suggested otherwise.
The naval codes used to hide info that the Seiryu Clan gathered from and on behalf of the Shogunate revealed more than just top secret documents from the past government hidden within piles of redundant paperwork.
The more messages that the family ninja Kaita delivered to him (which Kaita's sister Misanagi compiled and summarized for Kinta's convenience), the more the uncomfortable truths about Toshiro Minakata and the Minakata Family was exposed.
Toshiro's critics and their speculations didn't even scratch the surface of how much of a wily fox the old man was. He pulled the wool over everyone's eyes.
According to the puzzle pieces of hidden correspondences dating back decades and records hidden in code within what appeared to be mundane receipts and past contracts, Toshiro had been quite the busy man.
Working on both Dutch and China trade in Nagasaki as a trade regulator and enforcer that was answerable only to the Shogunate, Toshiro was the watchman whom no one else watched over. Betrayed by the very guardian who was supposed to protect them.
He realized that the writing was on the wall in regards to Japan and samurai after seeing the growing sentiment of dissatisfaction over the Bakufu by many of its soldiers and warriors.
The entirety of Japan had lost face thanks to the disaster that was the arrival of the Black Ships of Commodore Matthew C. Perry back in 1853.
The Shogunate was seen as weak and it soon became desperate to save face and crush the growing Ishin Shishi mutiny against it. The chain of events led not only to Toshiro becoming a covert drug runner but also the formation of the Four Clans spy group under the behest of the Shogun himself.
A government intelligence group tasked to protect the Japanese way of life in light of changing times.
Conveniently, Toshiro also took advantage of the resulting reopening of trade to the West after the Black Ships Incident in his plan to safeguard his personal wealth, assets, and influence in the future along with the Four Clans.
Taking inspiration to how the Sassoon, Rothschild, Lincoln, and Forbes families built their own riches in the 1830s to 1840s (the deciphered documents outright referenced them), Toshiro covertly engaged in opium trafficking at night (just like Robert Bennet Forbes) while overseeing the changing trading policies of Post-Sakoku Japan during the day.
He then married into a merchant family who had a pharmaceutical business in order to further help process the opium he imported from Hong Kong then resold back to China using his secret yakuza connections.
Yes. Rather than damn the Japanese, Toshiro had enough national pride to instead damn the already damned by also indulging in opium trade on their behalf along with the rich elite like the Delanos and the Forbes.
He even personally oversaw the safe delivery of his goods under the noses of policemen and his own samurai underlings even as he got rid of his black market competition of Wokou Pirates and the Three Harmonies Society.
He laundered his ill-gotten wealth and opium fortune to fund his actual legitimate businesses like real estate and his existing pharmaceutical company in order to get away with being a criminal mastermind that destroyed the lives of countless addicts for a couple of decades.
By the time the smoke cleared and the Opium Wars had passed, he was already a multimillionaire with a business empire that could rival the Mitsubishis.
All this time. All that wealth. All that privilege. They were all from the money his grandfather made off of the degradation and suffering of the Chinese people.
A cold sweat ran through Kinta's spine as more and more information surfaced from the Seiryu Clan's declassified copy of the Black Book. Names of past and current ministers kept popping up.
Men complicit with his grandfather's crimes... and benefited from them, so they allowed him to remain a powerful man in politics who was effectively above the law.
Such info from the Black Book was probably present in Tetsuo Akahori's own volume. The volume of the Genbu Clan. And two other volumes covering the secrets and sins of the various warring factions and other information of national importance all compiled in one voluminous book.
Every name, crime, and sin was listed along with the crimes and sins of the (grand)father. The measures they took and the bets they made during such a chaotic, uncertain time.
It was as much a history book as it was a "black book" that contained the list of secret contacts and people liable for punishment. Or blackmail.
Like with the rich families of the U.S. and Britain, Japan's elites and multiple political dynasties had an awful lot of drug money in their hands, making the Meiji Government more of an oligarchy than anything else.
This sobering reminder showed the unsurprising truth that if one dug deep enough under the family trees of the one percent, skeletons would be unearthed down below.
Inside a train going in a five hour trip straight to Yokohama in the Kanagawa Prefecture...
"Throughout my travels as a food connoisseur..." began Gan.
"...You mean food bandit," drawled Yahiko.
The five companions of Yahiko Myojin, the Great Gan, Munenori Minoe, Chizuru Raikouji, and Satsuki "May Brooks" Sakaguchi had collectively bought tickets straight to Yokohama from Hiroshima.
They were currently seated on couches facing each other, with Chizuru and May sitting on one couch then Yahiko and Gan sitting on another couch. Just behind his fellow men was Minoe.
Yahiko originally wanted to travel there by foot and rough it out on the woods (mosquitoes be damned) like he did when he traveled from the Kamiya Dojo to Shinshu in Nagano.
Then he went straight to Shura's crew at the docks of Naoetsu. Then he pushed further from Hakata Bay to Fukuoka, where he fought ronin who were terrorizing the town. Then to Hiroshima where he met the English teacher known as May "Satsuki Sakaguchi" Brooks, who helped the Sanbaka bring down a den of creepy kidnappers.
He'd been all over the map, so to speak. His Musha Shugyo had been... fruitful. He'd been perfecting his Revisal Techniques he developed on his own to harness the hardness and heaviness of the sakabatou (reverse-edged sword).
"Quiet, Yoshi-boy. Anyway, I've eaten all sorts of ramen. Okinawa soba. Kumamoto ramen. Hakata ramen. Tokushima ramen. Wakayama ramen. Onomichi ramen. Tokyo ramen. Kitakata ramen. Sapporo ramen. Ashikawa ramen. I even tasted Sakaguchi soba at Shinshu, which was one of the best I've ever eaten! Wait, where am I going with this?" said the Gluttonous Gan.
"If I have to hazard a guess, you're going to Yokohama City to try out the cuisine there," deadpanned Chizuru, murmuring, "Better not stiff the bill on us again, you fat pig. No more freebies from me for sure."
"Damn straight, Kaori-neechan!" said the Scatterbrained Gan, who ignored Chizuru's side comment, too focused on the dishes he felt entitled to partake in. "Can't wait to get a hold of those Yokohama goodies! What are they, anyway? What do I have to look forward to?"
Miss Brooks unironically answered the Ghastly Gan's inquiry with, "Uh, well we have Sanma-Men ramen in Yokohama. Oh, aaand also Shoronpo dumplings, Gomadango sesame balls, and the Gyunabe beef hotpot. Most of those are specialties of the Yokohama Chinatown though, so I'm not sure they count."
"Actually, that's perfect! All ramen comes from China, right? Didn't they invent the wheat noodle? So it's both Chinese and Japanese!" reasoned the Starving Gan, licking and smacking his lips. "Sanma-Men ramen, huh? But what about Soba for the Soba King?"
"We're not going on a food trip! While we're at it, you should've stayed in Hiroshima, Shinshu, or wherever you came from!" said Chizuru. The rich girl then nudged Satsuki's side, saying, "Don't humor him! It's not as if he pays for his own meals!"
"Oh my, let him be, Chizuru-san! No need to be chuffed about him," said the beatific teacher as though Gan were one of her misunderstood "bad boy" students. "Just think of him as a hungry bodyguard! Or a big, cuddly doggy."
"Ah, Megami-sama! You are such an angel, Miss Melon! A goddess from heaven!" said the Grateful Gan. "And quite the looker too! Woof!"
"Aw, shucks," said May. "You're beautiful too, Galileo-san! Uh, in your own way. You're a knees up kind of bloke!"
"Huh? You do nicknames too? We're going to get along famously, Miss Melon!" said the Japanese Galileo. "Oh, and speaking of melons, do you have some special Yokohama fruit desserts or sweets over there? Like melon bread or taiyaki?"
"Fruits? Desserts? Melon?" repeated the adopted Sakaguchi with an innocent bounce. "Well, yeah, I guess we have melons in Yokohama too. But they're not exactly Yokohama specialty."
The Grinning Gan was about to quip about something crass when Yahiko raised his wrapped-up sakabatou and aimed it at the bandanna-wearing man's head. "...What? The melons are coming back to Yokohama."
And so Myojin conked the goon's thick head with his sword scabbard. The Unfeeling Gan barely even winced.
Located south of Tokyo in the Kanagawa Prefecture, Yokohama was Japan's second largest city. The Minakatas settled there (or so Satsuki informed them) because of their influence in trade back in the Sakoku Era.
Around 1859, the government opened up the Port of Yokohama. It was one of the first places in Japan that allowed open foreign trade from a multitude of nations, spelling the end of the closed-off and controlled Sakoku Era Trade.
Knowing this, one of the premier hatamoto officials of the previous era packed his bags and moved his family to Yokohama along with the samurai family serving under him (the Sakaguchis).
That was how eccentric "Grandpa" Toshiro was, claimed Satsuki. He was a game-changing, forward-thinking maniac cut from the same entrepreneurial cloth as the patriarchs of the Mitsubishi, Sumitomo, Mitsui, and Yasuda Clans. But this time with samurai blood and influence involved.
At any rate, Yokohama soon became a progressive city right after the Black Ships of Commodore Perry forced Japan to open trade with the rest of the world, making it one of Japan's most internationally minded cities.
It served as a gateway to items like jazz music, baseball, beer, and beef; products that would eventually play a role in shaping modern Japan and, in turn, Yokohama cuisine.
In fact, Asia's biggest Chinatown area (outside of actual Chinese towns) was in Yokohama. It was filled with traditional landmarks, restaurants, and shops that occupied several city blocks.
Speaking of Yokohama, Kinta Minakata learned even more about his grandfather in the context of the city's transformation as an international merchant town.
Reams and reams more of hidden codes started getting deciphered by the Sanada Ninja Clan. Other names and families came up with their own questionable histories during the Bakumatsu and their connection with the dying Shogunate.
Some of whom were still in high positions in government. Many others had died in the war, leaving their families in poverty. Their children and grandchildren suffering from the sins or karma of their fathers and forefathers.
Some even had their family line wiped out entirely.
But none of those puzzle pieces fascinated the Mimawarigumi Battousai more than his hatamoto grandfather and his shenanigans for obvious reasons.
His case was personal, after all.
The Chinatown in Yokohama boasted countless stores, making it the largest Chinatown in the world by the time the 20th and 21st Centuries rolled along.
The Yokohama Chinatown was established in 1859 along with the opening of the ports of the city. The shores of Yokohama were where all the Chinese merchants went and gathered after being forced to do restricted trade in Nagasaki for centuries under the watchful eye of samurais like Toshiro.
Yokohama became the new center of trade with western countries, and Toshiro Minakata grabbed the opportunity to himself indulge in western medicine importation and, on the down low, making and distributing his own brand of opium to China to fund his burgeoning pharmaceutical empire.
Kinta expected to unlock the sins of the forefathers of the current Japanese administration by decoding the Seiryu Clan's volume of the Black Book, not uncover that his grandfather was among those criminals.
The shards from his shattered glass house cut deep.
The opium that brought China to its knees in order to give Britain a more favorable tea trade agreement also pushed his grandfather and their family up to hatamoto-class.
"So what? Queen Victoria herself is history's largest drug dealer," was one of the smug coded messages that Toshiro left to justify his own sins.
Even as Japan suffered from Unfair Treaties by countries that bullied it into submission so that it could open its shores for trade once again, the Minakatas were among the elites who plundered and took advantage of the suffering of their own nations and other nations that were also headed towards the same fate as China.
As food for the new superpowers of the world. Manifest Destiny.
The saddest part was none of this disturbing info really shocked Kinta in any way. He suspected it from the start. Or rather, he wouldn't put such actions past his family.
It almost seemed typical for a Minakata to act this way, especially the oh-so-great Toshiro. Every one of the children of Toshiro and Mieko (his grandmother) were groomed for success.
Tatsuya overcame his lack of talent in swordsmanship and physical strength to grow up into a banker that handled the entire family's significant fortune stemming from its multinational financial group named after it.
Kaneda overcame his own inferiority complex of living under his assertive elder brother's shadow (and his own body image issues) by completing his studies and becoming a lawyer himself.
Even Daddy's Millionaire Princess did her part for the family by having an arranged marriage with the Akahori Family's eldest son to strengthen political bonds and secret ties as well as merge their accumulated wealth.
Although according to Grandmother Mieko, Kinta's mother was spoiled rotten by his Grandfather Toshiro.
Even Kinta served as a pawn to the Minakatas. Or the Seiryu Clan itself.
He had to become another Battousai to counteract the Ishin Shishi Battousai that murdered many fellow Mimawarigumi samurai (even though their paths and blades never crossed through a twist of fate) and earn back his grandfather's trust that was lost from him when his mother had her affair.
As though he were the fruit of that union rather than the biological son of Azuma Akahori and Aoi Minakata.
Even Kinta had to curry favor of his own high-standard hatamoto-class samurai family (and relatives) in order to not be treated like their black sheep or a redheaded bastard.
This was all understandable... even characteristic... of the Minakata Bloodline.  
The Mimawarigumi Battousai had heard stories on the dinner table from his bragging grandpa about how their Sengoku ancestors were defeated and became Ochimusha (disgraced samurai who'd lost standing and became low-ranked citizens; could also mean the remnants or corpse of a defeated warrior).
Legend had it that instead of becoming Burakumin (outcasts) hiding in the boondocks, the surviving members of their family stole the land under the control of another family of samurais known as the Minakatas by killing them, taking their identities, and defending their uncaptured land before allying themselves with the Tokugawas.
Known for the shaved top of their heads and disheveled chonmage (topknot) after being disgraced by defeat, the new shogun allowed these ochimusha to grow their hair back along with their dignity and standing as reward for their help.
The False Minakatas became the True Minakatas.
They henceforth became known as the Minakatas (their original clan name had been lost in time), replacing the family they massacred. Through their cunning, they managed to save face and cease from being Ochimusha. Allegedly.
"What are you going to do now, Kinta-sama?" asked Misanagi in reference to these discoveries they'd unearthed regarding his grandfather.
"...." said Kinta.
Back in the train to Yokohama where the Sanbaka (and friends) were riding...
Unable to take more of the Gluttonous Gan's inane food talk, Yahiko switched seats (it was a half-empty train) to sit with Munenori Minoe (or Kaede Morinaga) from behind them.
The Son of Tokyo Samurai sat beside Shogo Amakusa's own prodigy, who had her Minoe "disguise" on and was snoring softly with her head nestled on the closed window.
Or his head. Whatever.
Munenori (or Kaede) was, after all, the reason why Yahiko decided to do his Musha Shugyo training pilgrimage in Yokohama along with him (or her).
The samurai kid couldn't risk Morinaga separating from him and doing any political assassinations and whatnot under his watch, specifically on this Minakata fellow whom she described as a traitor to Amakusa and the Kakure Kirishitans.
After all, Kinta was Satsuki's crush and all.
Regardless, Kaede was the person who almost defeated Soujiro Seta the Ten Ken (Heaven Sword), who in turn almost defeated Kenshin Himura.
According to the former Juppon Gatana member, his Shun Ten Satsu (Instant Heaven Kill) was as fast although not as strong as the Amakakeru Ryu no Hirameki (Heavens Gliding Dragon Flash).
Yahiko remembered how Enishi Yukishiro countered Kenshin's ultimate technique with his own ultimate technique, the Kofoku Zetsu Tou Sei (Absolute Trap Blade Wave) or Kofuku Zettousei.
He then learned the mechanics of Zettousei from when Shura, the Scourge of the Pacific, used the same technique to get her revenge against Captain Masakichi Hananuma Inoue for sinking her ship and killing her first mate.
As the Pirate Queen turned Privateer Queen slowly but surely found a way to counter Captain Inoue's Wanmei Fengbao (Eye of the Storm) with the Kofuku Zettousei, Yahiko also put two and two together and realized that the Hirameki was susceptible to attacks from below the vortex it created, allowing a chance to counterstrike between the gap of the initial strike and the second counterstrike.
Myojin even began getting faster and stronger from sparring with both the Great Gan and the Battousai of Speed. Gan helped him work on his stamina. Minoe helped him work on his reflexes and dexterity.
They were the best training partners a growing teenage boy could ask for.
If the Tokyo Samurai Descendant could get on the level of the Nisemono Battousai (Fake Battousai) and the also-similar-to-Kenshin Ten Ken, then perhaps he could someday finally wield the heavy sakabatou and the accompanying burden of responsibility that came with it.
So that the injured Kenshin who could barely practice the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu wouldn't have to bear that burden himself.
Unbidden, Minoe began to stir and moan.
"Minoe?" whispered Yahiko. "Are you awake?"
"Amakusa Shogo-sama... is amazing. I'm sure that even the Hitokiri Battousai would fall against him. They use the same sword style, am I correct?" Yahiko heard Minoe murmur in his sleep, his one exposed eye closed and his other eye covered by an eye patch.
Ah, so he was talking in his sleep.
Yahiko smirked and harrumphed. "I've seen Kenshin in action. He's amazing. He helped the Ishin Shishi win against the Bakufu. What feats has your Shogo-sama accomplished?"
He then bit his lip, remembering how much of a touchy subject the mass murder of the Hidden Christians rebels were to Amakusa and Morinaga.
Thankfully, the half-asleep Munenori didn't interpret his words in such a malicious manner.
With his eyes (or eye) still closed, he rebutted, "Amakusa-chi is a gifted swordsman from birth, taking out young men his age in kendo tournaments then taking on older, more experienced swordsmen as well when none of the kids could match his kenjutsu prowess."
Huh. The Tokyoite didn't know that. Of course, most any sword style should succumb to the superman's sword style known as Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu. "So he learned Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu at a young age, huh?"
Munenori shook his head. "He used Nikaido Heiho when he was younger. That was his father's swordsmanship school. His Uncle Hyoue taught him Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu later on, after... escaping from Japan when the Bakufu first rounded off, tortured, and murdered the Kakure Kirishitan, including his parents."
"Oh. I... I see." Yahiko didn't know what else to say.
"...Besides, he's also a one-man army that took down whole squads of policemen and whole platoons of soldiers. Or have you already forgotten what happened in Shinshu? How you can barely keep up with Shogo-sama?"
Or maybe Minoe did find Yahiko's rebuttal earlier malicious after all. That was... harsh of him to point out, to say the least. Munenori just reminded Myojin of his failure to save the lives of many a copper.
On the other hand, if the Tokyo boy remembered correctly, weren't some of the policemen at Akahori's Mansion involved in an incident with Amakusa six years ago? From another government-sanctioned massacre of sorts?
Shogo, as Shiro Amakusa the Second, assassinated the murderers of his parents (some of whom were still in power), only for the current Meiji Administration to retaliate against his growing rebellion.
The two went silent as the sound of the rumbling train and the murmur of the passengers drowned out their thoughts.
The samurai kid turned his head, only to see someone else other than Minoe stare back at him. The person beside him removed his eye patch, revealing a new character.
Kaede Morinaga had just woken up. He'd been talking to her all this time, not the gentle Minoe.
Kaede rubbed her eyes and recounted to Yahiko the things Lady Magdalia told her about Shogo and his exploits.
Magdalia had specifically told her the story of how she and her brother escaped the Bakufu's clutches.
Even though Shogo himself didn't seem to remember how he manhandled the samurais who were after him, his sister, and his mother at the time, Lady Magdalia filled in the details.
Shogo took out the initial wave with only his shinai before that broke and he was forced to steal a katana that turned him into a bloodstained whirling dervish.
Amakusa might've remembered things differently due to the trauma of the situation. However, had his master Hyoue Nishida not intervened, Shogo might've outright murdered the samurais that stabbed his mother to death.
In fact, Kaede had compartmentalized her skill set into two categories... Cancer Stance for defensive moves and Scorpion Stance for offensive moves... based on the dual styles Shogo used (the Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu and the Nikaido Heiho).
"Oh yeah? Well, Kenshin himself trained hard with his master for years. And when he was 14 years old, he also took down grown swordsmen himself as a hitokiri assassin! Grown experienced noblemen samurai, even," boasted Yahiko.
The boy blinked. As much of a bad guy he painted Amakusa as in his mind, the Hidden Christian was similar to Kenshin in many ways.
Except for one important thing, but he held his tongue in regards to that in order to not incur the wrath of the emotionally unstable Nisemono Battousai.
"That's nothing! Shogo-sama defeated his master when he was the same age! Using a technique of his own making, the Rai Ryu Sen!" Kaede countered.
"Okay? Kenshin defeated his master to acquire the ougi (succession technique)."
"Ha! I knew it. Shogo-sama is better."
"What? No! Kenshin's master is a god who walks among men. A superman in his own right. Also, last I checked, he's the official bearer of the Hiko Seijuro name. Shogo's uncle isn't, so he must be the weaker of the two!"
"No, he's not! He was the swordsman Kirisaki, who protected the Hidden Christians for the longest time single-handedly until that fateful massacre. I heard he also spared his master, Hiko Seijuro, from death by countering the Kuzu Ryu Sen with something other than the ougi!"
"...A likely story!" said Yahiko with a shake of his head. "Kenshin has a better, stronger master who actually inherited the Hiko Seijuro mantle, so of course he'd whup Amakusa's ass real easy."
"HA! I bet Amakusa's twice as fast as the Hitokiri Battousai! He'd have Super Godspeed compared to the slower Battousai!"
"Yeah right! Kenshin defeated Psycho-Kid when he was still part of the Juppon Gatana... in his prime, mind you... and Amakusa can't! He got completely defeated by Psycho-Kid back in Shinshu!"
"T-That's... unfair! He fought multiple policemen at Akahori's Shinshu Mansion before facing the Ten Ken! He was already spent! Besides, he showed that emotionless bodyguard of Akahori who's boss when he used the Rai Ryu Sen on him!"
"More excuses, huh? Well Kenshin faced off against an Oniwabanshu Okashira (Garden Guard Boss) before facing Psycho-Kid back in Mount Hiei, and he defeated both of them while holding back on killing them, which made taking them down twice as difficult!"
"Shogo-sama's master Kirisaki avoided killing the people he fought all the time, including Kenshin Himura's master, whom he also faced off against. He was a pacifist, so he became skilled enough in swordsmanship to defeat everyone without killing them. That's the kind of master Shogo-sama had!"
"Yeah, well, Mr. One-Man Army didn't help win a civil war against the Bakufu to install the Ishin Shishi into power!" Yahiko blurted out even though he didn't mean to. He couldn't help himself. His emotions got the better of him.
He wasn't even particularly proud of Kenshin helping the Meiji Government rise to power, especially in light of his experience with its corrupt officials.
However, instead of threatening to cut his loose tongue or castrate him, the Fake Battousai pledged to him, "Shogo-sama's own revolution is near. Once he gets the Black Book from Akahori, he'll have all the ammunition he needs to topple this government."
Kaede herself then slapped her hand over her mouth, realizing that she had said too much as well.
Reading the mood, Myojin changed the subject. "In full health, who's faster? Psycho-Kid or Amakusa?"
Morinaga turned her head away, placing the eye patch back on her eye as though to "summon" back her alter ego Minoe before muttering, "The Ten Ken is a little faster than Shogo-sama. But Shogo-sama can still beat him. Stupid Urchin-Head."
The Son of Tokyo Samurai heaved a sigh and confessed, "It's fine. Kenshin told me that Psycho-Kid is faster than him too. Seta Soujiro might even be faster than the whole Hiten Mitsurugi School itself. Maybe."
"...But I bet the Hitokiri Battouai is waaaay slower than the Ten Ken compared to Shogo-sama, who's only a little slower."
"Hey! Don't get ahead of yourself!" said the inheritor of the sakabatou. "I give you an inch and you take a mile. Honestly."
Much later still...
"You wanted to speak to me?" Tatsuya Minakata said. The banker son of Toshiro Minakata. Kinta's uncle from his mother's side.
"Yes," said Kinta.
"What the hell do you want, you brat?"
...And Tatsuya was every bit as intimidating, menacing, and cunning as his uncle from his father's side, Tetsuo Akahori. The complete opposite of his other uncle and Tatsuya's younger brother, Kaneda.
But that was in the past. Kinta was no longer a small child or gangly teenager that the alcoholic could push around and abuse whenever he was drunk.
Uncle Tatsuya might've not inherited any of Grandpa Toshiro's immense talent in swordsmanship, but he certainly had his father's business acumen as the person in charge (by proxy and with Grandma Mieko's blessing) of the Minakata Family's vast wealth.
As expected of a ruthless banker who was as thin as Uncle Kaneda was fat.
From behind Tatsuya was their newly hired manservant bodyguard who towered over the two like an outright foreigner despite being Japanese. Meanwhile, Kinta's uncle sat on his chair behind his desk, his arms folded and his mouth a scowl.
His eyes staring straight into Kinta's eyes.
Toshiro's grandchild could hear the insistent taps from the shoes of Toshiro's eldest son.
Hiding behind Kinta's shadow though was Kaita of the Sanada Ninja Clan.
Not that the Mimawarigumi Battousai who faced off against Hitokiri Gensai Kawakami needed help defending himself or anything.
The ninja Kaita was also there to remind him of anything he missed regarding the intelligence they'd decoded in their search for the Seiryu Clan's Black Book.
Kinta didn't want to make a single mistake about the uncovered intel before asking about them straight from one of their primary sources.
Conversing with his grandfather's son about past crimes was the ex-Kagemusha's way of giving Toshiro the benefit of the doubt. Even though Tatsuya himself could very well be an accomplice to those crimes.
"...Well? What is it? I'm a busy man," said Tatsuya with a dismissive snort, breaking contact with Kinta's gaze. "I have no time to play with you. We have goddamn assassins after us, if you haven't noticed!"
Kinta went straight to the point. "What do you know about the Seiryu Clan's Volume of the Black Book?"
There was a pregnant pause.
"Seiryu Clan? I have no idea what you're talking about," denied Tatsuya. Like Jesus Christ's disciple Thomas, as Amakusa would say.
The younger Minakata then placed his copy of the decoded papers on the Elder Minakata's desk.
"What is this nonsense? I have no time..."
"There are declassified documents about Grandfather Toshiro's drug dealings in China using Minakata Pharmaceuticals as a front."
Tatsuya's scowl turned into a snarl. "Drug dealings? Are you saying your grandfather is a drug lord? Is that it? Those are some grave accusations you're hurling, kiddo. Be careful what you say."
However, Kinta always was careful. He spoke the way he fought. Methodically. With no wasted movement or words.
The nephew presented a different document from Kaita. This time full of names, addresses, and quantities of delivered goods. Contact persons, if you would. More like accessories to his grandfather's crimes.
The names listed meant nothing to the Mimawarigumi Battousai, but he summarized and said them aloud nonetheless. They were Toshiro's contacts from the warehouses he stored his opium. The names of his chemists who processed the drug.
The list of ports under his control that allowed him to ship to China his own brand of premium-grade, potent opium that was easier to access than the ones being sold by the Indians, the British, and the Americans in Hong Kong and the Pearl River outside Canton.
Although his uncle would not divulge one piece of information about the Black Book, the reactions he gave to the uncovered information spoke volumes.
Kinta had all the puzzle pieces of the Black Book right at the palm of his hand.
Through seemingly redundant and suspicious documents, bogus employee contracts in triplicate, and receipts for business expenditures that were nonexistent, his grandfather had weaved a web of lies he used to communicate with the underworld in order to go about his opium trade in ways that would've made the likes of Takeda Kanryu jealous.
The sheer amount of opium Toshiro sold and money he made was many magnitudes larger than Kanry's lifetime wealth. It involved millions of yen's worth of drugs sold by the ton. The same way the Rothschild and Forbes families built their fortunes.
Tatsuya stood up from his seat and slammed his hands on his desk, with both bodyguards... the tall nameless one beside the uncle and the ninja hidden in the darkness behind the grandchild... stirring in reaction.
For Kinta's part, he stood his ground. In his younger years, he would've flinched or cowered away from Tatsuya. Not anymore. Not after everything he'd been through.
Tatsuya got in Kinta's face before smirking and attempting to feint a punch, but the swordsman wouldn't buy it.
The ruthless businessman had half the mind to punch his nephew. Show him who was boss. His little sister's forgotten piece of excess baggage.
Like the good ol' days.
"As if Father would leave a paper trail behind," Tatsuya rebuked, calling his nephew's bluff. "What piece of fiction have you written up here? Decode? There's nothing to decode here! Spare me your conspiracy theories and nonsensical speculation!"
"If this is all false, then you won't mind the police investigating all this evidence, correct?"
Tatsuya grabbed Kinta by the collar. The younger Minakata still wouldn't flinch. Defiant to the end.
"Call the police? We own the police!"
"The Minakatas haven't been influential in politics since grandfather's death," Kinta called Tatsuya's own bluff.
"Ever since you became one of those Mimawarigumi goons from back in the day, you've been full of yourself. You've changed. But I know better. You're still the same scared little snot I've whipped with my belt time and time again. How many times do I have to teach you that lesson, boy?"
Tough talk from a drunkard who never held a sword or killed a man his entire life.
Kinta didn't say those words, but Tatsuya must've heard his unsaid sentiment through his eyes because the banker soon swung at his face immediately after.
A swing and a miss.
To Be Continued...
Miss me? It's been a while, huh?
Salamat, Abdiel
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serpenscapes · 5 years
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In Praise of Thriller Bark:
Thriller Bark is one of my fave OP arcs but for some reason it’s so underrated and hardly ever talked about (and there are some fools out there who downright hate it) so Imma remind you all why this arc is fucking FANTASTIC
- first things first, introduces the Best Goddamn Mothafuckin Skeleton in the World. I love Brook so much.  (Franky sobbing ‘I LOVE THAT SKELETON GODDAMMIT’ is the biggest mood tbh.)
- also gives us Brook’s HEARTBREAKING backstory and EXPLAINS WHO LABOON WAS WAITING FOR AND I CAN’T BELIEVE ODA LINKED BROOK BACK TO A CHARACTER WE MET 400 CHAPTERS PRIOR. 10/10 WRITING
- “Quartet... trio.... duet... solo....” excuse me I’m fucking crying??? fuck u Oda honestly.. Also, Bink’s Sake? WHAT AN ABSOLUTE TUNE.
- the entire aesthetic of Thriller Bark is so fcking cool?? Spooky forest, cerberus, zombies, ghosts, giant haunted castle, SHADOW CREATURES?? PERONA’S GOTH PRINCESS DESIGN?? and the FUCKING ZOMBIE DANCE???
- SO MANY GREAT Strawhat combo moves!!!! 600 mil beri jackpot!! Super Frapper Gong!! Robicho Suplex!!!! ICONIC
- Luffy’s shadow is put into a giant fuckin monster and the first thing the monster says?? “MEAAAAAAAAAT” Sanji being put into that hideous dog-penguin was also HILARIOUS
- All of the Strawhats vs Oars is srsly one of my fave goddamn fights in all of OP because unlike a lot of other arcs where they all split up and have individual fights, this really showed how great they work together as a team and there were so many great and memorable moments!! ONE DOWN!!! 
- That fight also gave us The Greatest Series of Panels in Existence:
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- NEGATIVE ZORO/LUFFY/FRANKY IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT 
- “I WAS NEGATIVE FROM THE START” bitch me too the fuck
- introduced Lola who a) is a total fucking angel b) indirectly saved the crew’s ass during WCI (also Nami and Lola’s friendship is the purest fucking thing)
- TACTICS 15 DOCKING. GIANT ROBOT WARRIOR: BIG EMPEROR
- “It’s embarrassing as a human being”
- “A BEAUTIFUL FEMALE SWORDSMAN JUST BROUGHT A LOT OF MEAT” “beautiful?” “swordsman?” “meat?”
- first mentions of Wano and how Kaido annihilated Moriah’s entire crew and I swear we’re gonna get some SERIOUS Thriller Bark pay off during the Wano arc
- Zoro fighting Ryuma and getting Shusui was such a good fuckin fight and also again, HUGE Wano pay-off?? not to mention how COOL the entire fight was with them running up ad down the rooftop and Zoro getting Brook’s shadow back
- that scene where Zoro welcomes Brook to the crew by saying “you’re gonna have your hands full” is equal parts cute and fucking dumb like alright welcome aboard but u made a fuckin mistake my guy 
- This is the funniest scene in manga history if not all of fiction in general: Do NOT argue with me:
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- okay I shouldn’t even have to bring this up but... y’all... the end of the arc... “how can I protect my dream when I can’t even protect my captain”....Zoro taking in all of Luffy’s pain.... ready to die and abandoning his own dream bc he knows that Luffy HAS to be pirate king... the most METAL FUCKING THING ON EARTH (and it KILLS me that Luffy still doesn’t know) “... nothing... happened...” a bitch is shook to THIS DAY (and pls remember that Robin and Brook also know what happened)
- when Kuma tells them to hand over Luffy and EVERYONE basically yells “FUCK U”
- Kuma saying “I’ve heard that Strawhat Luffy has gathered some skilled crewmembers” followed by THIS ?? LIKE HOW CUTE
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- Absalom is absolute trash and the worst thing about the arc but fuck me if Nami didn’t look beautiful in the wedding dress
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invokingbees · 6 years
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Actual ask this time top 5 monster movies
This is a list of movies, in no particular order, that I think fit the description of monster movie, where a monster, or monsters, is not only the main threat but the main spectacle and driving force of events. It’s also a list where it’s my usual ‘5 of the best, but not THE best’ because I’m just an indecisive bitch.
5. Deep Rising
A fantastic b-movie monster movie by Stephen Sommers, he of the Brendan Fraser The Mummy and Van Helsing movies, starring the delightful Treat Williams (Xander Drax from The Phantom) and Kevin J O’Connor, who was also in The Mummy as Beni. Treat Williams and his merry crew of smugglers are hired by some very shady men to transport mysterious cargo across the South China Sea. Turns out, they intend to attack a giant luxury cruise ship full of fancy people. But when they board the ship, they find it utterly deserted...because a giant octopus monster has attacked from the depths of the ocean and devoured everyone! The creature is GREAT, we only get to see its many thousands of fanged and spiky tentacles spilling through the corridors causing havoc until the full beast is revealed near the end in a great chase sequence.
4. Shin Godzilla
I’m not a huge Godzilla guy, I’ve only seen a handful of the older movies on VHS and the original when I was a younger, I’ve always respected Godzilla and Biollante is my favourite monster (even though I’ve never seen the movie, it’s just a great design). I like the 2014 one quite a bit, too. I think what I like more about Shin Godzilla is it’s more overtly antagonistic, more monstrous and has a certain element of horror that appeals to me. I think I also just like the characters more than G14 which committed the crime of killing off Brian Cranston way too early for his not nearly as charismatic fictional son. There is of course, too, that ending shot which will never not be just spooky as hell and so full of horrible implications. The story is essentially about a somewhat ineffective Japanese government trying to deal with and understand why a giant monster is suddenly wrecking their shit, but it’s the characters, these civil officials, these regular people, trying to do a job above and beyond the call of duty, that make it interesting and quite entertaining. There’s also all sorts of political and social allegories I’m not smart enough to talk about, I just really like the big freaky monster.
3. Predator
Predator is a monster movie, as far as I’m concerned, and I’m not gonna include Alien since to me, that movie has very different intentions. But yeah fuckin Predator’s great, and not even in some kind of weird 80s nostalgia irony meme way. It’s a well put together piece of entertainment with great characters and dialogue, fantastic soundtrack and of course, an iconic monster. Hell, the sequel is great, too. Shame they never made a third. Fun fact: that clicking purring sound the Predator makes is inspired by a dying horseshoe crab. Isn’t that kind of awful? Anyway, Predator is a great film and probably one of Schwarzenegger’s best (his best is, in my opinion, Conan the Barbarian). He plays Dutch, part of a paramilitary group asked to go sort out a situation in South America but end up being hunted by alien creature for sport. You’ve got Carl Weathers and Jesse ‘The Body’ Ventura in there, too. God, what else can I say about Predator? It’s great!
2. The 7th Voyage of Sinbad
The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, Golden Voyage of Sinbad, Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, Jason and the Argonauts, Clash of the Titans, I grew up on all those classic fantasy adventure movies. Their real draw were the amazing monsters animated by Ray Harryhausen - which is why, and no disrespect to Charles H. Schneer or any directors or actors, they’re known as Harryhuasen movies and even remembered at all. I will say that 7th Voyage holds a special place for me and I love everything about it - the skeleton fight (which would be expanded upon in Argonauts), the Cyclops vs the Dragon, the snake woman, the evil wizard, the Roc - it’s all good stuff. You can buy poseable Harryhausen skeletons (though they’re not marketed as such, they just happen to look exactly like them) and I want one REAL bad.
1. Trollhunter
This movie is the kind of thing I wish Ireland would do, actually capitalize on that literal 4000 years of folklore and history it’s oh so apparently proud of, BUT FUCK THAT here’s a drama about inner city drug addicts, again. You’d be forgiven thinking this country didn’t have a history before 1922. But anyway, I’m talking about Trollhunter. The premise of this movie is that trolls are real, and they’re out wandering around rural Norway and there’s a guy the government pays to basically keep them in check, so a group of students (I think, it’s been a while) follow him around to see what his job entails. Turns out, it’s pretty tragic. But every encounter with a troll is fantastic, they all have designs ripped right out of Scandinavian folklore. They turn to stone upon contact with UV light (to coin a term, a scientification I still don’t really like, but it works) although later in the movie they’re caught by a troll because it can smell that one of the group is Christian. There’s Ringlefinches, Tosserlads and colossal Jotnar Mountain Kings. It’s also a found footage movie, a much maligned subgenre, and unduly so, in my opinion.
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ooc secret santa survey
Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt? That is a toughie! I firstly applied for Rodolphus (my 2nd ever male rp character) because I adore exploring ‘evil’ characters and what makes them that way - and what makes them human. Edgar was a new one for me, but I love Hufflepuffs and I love characters that subvert stereotypes so really he’s an obvious fit. 
Do you have a favorite holiday? Probably Christmas; family, love, presents ... what’s not to like? I do have a soft spot for Halloween though. 
Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both? Both, definitely both. I love all kinds of tea, but properly brewed coffee is a passion of mine. 
What is your personality type? I’m an xNTJ - basically too much of an ambivert to be placed in either. I do think that maybe ENTJ fits a little better right now, but it varies. 
What is your Hogwarts House? Slytherin all the way! I’m a snake until I die. 
What is your Zodiac Sign? Pisces sun, Virgo moon, Scorpio rising. (I could talk you through my whole natal chart, but let’s not go there.)
Three most recently watched on Netflix? 1. Dark (German Netflix series that is creepy and weird and amazing - you can suck it Stranger Things) 2. (funnily enough) Stranger Things (It doesn’t quite live up to the hype for me, but I really did enjoy it) 3. Now You See Me (I’ve developed a new love for magic and I’m learning card tricks right now)
Describe your ride-or-die friend. Dude okay I have a few. Firstly, my Hufflepuff twins that I will protect at all costs. They’re always there for me and I love them to pieces. Secondly, my Slytherin squad - we bitch, we fight, but we love each other and would tear down anyone in the other’s way. Thirdly, another Slytherin who never fails to make me laugh or cheer me up when I’m in a bad mood. We’re terrible people, but together. 
If you could have any superpower, what would you choose? Obviously the ability to change my appearance at will. I will never understand people who’d pick anything different. 
Are you an early bird or a night owl? A bit of both, but considering I’m typing this at 2am (technically) the day of my last exam I guess I’m a night owl. 
What is your favorite color? Pink, then green, then yellow. 
What is the last book you read? What is your favorite? The last book I actually read was a criminal law textbook, but if we’re talking fiction then ‘The Girl With All The Gifts’ by M.R. Carey. I don’t really have a favourite, but the vibe of The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern is realllllly calling to me right now. 
Where would you rather be right now? AT HOME. I’m still at Uni at the moment and I cannot wait until I finally get to go home for Christmas you don’t even know. 
Have you ever watched the sunrise? Nah, ain’t nobody got time for that. 
Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music? Not when I write, it really puts me off. I do listen to it when I make aesthetics usually, but it varies on artist and style too much to pinpoint anything specific. (I listen to the character playlists I make quite often - elisehp on Spotify ;) )
What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s? I just love all of the different storylines and the drama! And the feeling of giving life and personality to a skeleton bio is so fulfilling. 
What’s your favorite type of weather? It varies, right now I am really loving the crisp winter mornings where it’s below freezing and there’s frost everywhere. 
What’s your best RP experience? No doubt this one! I’ve grown so close to everyone here, we really are a big family, and I love all of the characters. 
Who inspires you? This question actually stumped me quite a bit because I never really stop to think about it. I’m going to go with the spoken word poets Blythe Baird and Olivia Gatwood. It might seem a tad random, but they’re the kind of people that just make me want to create. 
Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how! This may be a bit of a cheat (especially since we’ve never actually met), but everyone at CRT inspires and influences my writing every day. All of the amazing writers here make me want to be better and for that I’m so thankful <3
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vidoxi · 7 years
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1, 3, 8, 12, 17, 18, 28, 30 of the question thing. pls send me some too :3c
damn son ok. btw i always send people questions if theyve reblogged the post from me and also sent me some. wtf @ these hoes that just reblog and nothing else like bitch wtf?? r00d
1:  it's the apocalypse. you lay next to the person you trust and love most, and start talking. you know your time is limited. what is the one thing you want them to know before you two die? 
look here, i didnt play hundreds of hours of Fallout to just give up once some little apocalypse starts. yall can be one of those charred skeletons you find laying everywhere, i’m going to be a real Lone Wanderer and will fight and adapt to whatever is thrown at me. ..... is what i would say if i werent the kind of person who loses the will to live over the most minor inconveniences. really all i could think of was the “i used your clarinet to unclog my toilet” thing from spongebob.
3:  what is the one thing you want your best friend to never do? why? how will you react if they do it?
i dont want you to give up on love or your dream of doing art as a career because i want you to be happy. and i dont want @snarfsmarf123 to do any of the highly illegal and immoral things she talks about doing. without me, i mean. i want the prison to make the electric chair into an electric loveseat just for us.
8:  you are locked in a room until the day you die, and have a choice to spend this time with one person. will you choose someone? if yes, who is it? why?
the problem with this is that youre also condemning someone else to that fate, and they most likely wouldnt be too jazzed about you ruining the rest of their life. if fictional characters are on the table though i’d choose yoosung since he literally says that he wants to be locked in a room with all his choices taken away. our life can just be video games with intermissions of me wrecking his ass and we’d both be happier for it probably.
12:  do you like the rain? why? do you prefer storms or light dripping?
rain is comfy af. i prefer drizzling over storms though because storms knock out the power sometimes and thats no good.
17:  what is your favorite color? why? what is your least favorite shade of this color? 
i love yellow because i associate it with a feeling of light-hearted joy. dark shades of it look gross though.
18:  think of a person you love. now describe them, using only stuff that only you would describe them with. (for example - my person would be described by reading a new book while there's a storm outside.) 
black coffee, rough calloused hands, the roar of an engine.
28:  picture yourself at ease. now describe what exactly did you picture - with who you are? where? what exactly put you at ease? 
outside, watching the sun rise. the weather is just cool enough to warrant a light jacket. everything is quiet, with the feeling that i’m the only one in the world that’s awake.
30:  what do you love most about humanity? 
above anything else i would say empathy. just everyday empathy is great but humans will seriously disadvantage themselves, will let themselves suffer and even risk their lives if it means easing someone else’s suffering. if there is anything that the world needs more of i think it’s empathy.
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celticteddy · 7 years
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The Eleventh Hour Arc - TK Reacts
So aside from the ones I couldn’t help but post as their own thing (some of which may repeat in here) this is my reactions to the different parts in this arc of TAZ.
Also, side note: I will from now on be hugging every Magnus cosplayer I see. Every.Single.One. As tight as I can.
Ep 42- I love that the two brothers just do not accept certain people dying. Them saying horseshit in pure denial is so fucking great. (IE. Taako with Hurley & Magnus with Roswell.) -Holy. Fucking. SHIT! (In response to the dying and looping first time) -I want to be in one of Griffins campaigns.
Ep 43- I mean, I could have told you the diamonds would be gone. Taako, give up your umbra staff once.
Ep 44- -Before I get too far into this episode can I just say I like the new leaf for Magnus. -This never works Magnus. And you are only on your second loop. Too early to lose your mind about this. Roswall won’t remember it next loop. (Holy shit. It worked) -Well that was a short loop. lawl. -Magnus Rushes In is starting to get a little heartbreaking in this Arc. -This is clever of Griffin. And smart of the boys to catch on. -10 letters, D start, ends with N (2 words). Damn son. -Magnus is being kinda adorable in this arc. He is trying so hard. -”This smoke seems unnatural” “yeah” “touch it.” -Oh god no! The Vashta Nerada! FUCK!! -Oh! The bugs are eating them. -I was thinking time card too. (Added later: How did Issac get there without this stuff killing him if his time card is with the others?) -”I know we usually act but how about this time we dont.” -I KNEW THOSE WORMS WERE IMPORTANT!
Ep 45- -I love the wands as guns in this old west village! -McDuff! -GDFH Fucking Zone of truth. -OH! SHIT! It’s Mama trying to get to her babies. -No nibbling. As far as I can tell this is the first time I’ve gotten to eat in 2 years. (Not true. Sandwich.) -I really love Magnus and Taako so much. (Though as Mags chases a scrap of fabric) -I love the references in this series. -The skeletons in this series are getting kinda freaky -Suck my butt Justin/Taako! -“Good news is I’ll be dead soon.” -Magnus is trying so hard to reach the old lady somehow and it’s killing me.
Ep 46- -I’ve got a theory - I know that’s not my norm. -To Griffin: “You don’t know!” “...” “I guess you do.” -I mean, yeah, fate brough you the guys ‘today’. Today just took like 27 tries. -”Yeah, fuck it. What’s the plan?” -Also in love with the music. -STOP KILLING ELVEN (OR HALF) WOMEN!!!! -Poor Taako :( -This break in attempt is great. -”Taako gets the gold!: -Oh...you have to fight Roswell...ouch. -”Taako, what the fuck?!” -”Anything we can do to help?” “Stay alive.” -Poor Magnus (And Travis) -I love that Clint keeps asking about the time. -HELL NO CLINT!!!DO NOT DISPELL ROSWELL!! -Oh thank god! -HELL YES TAAKO!!! -NO!!!! Fuck! -The old woman is June -Junebug --Heartbreak!!! “What would you like me to do?” Not fucking this! Not rip my heart out! *bursts into tears*
Ep 47- -Oh! OH! June is on the other side of the door! -If you don’t use your character voice, the apocalypse happens. -Taako is not okay out here. -This is not going to make Kravitz happy. -Weekly godly poker night. -Fate knits. I love it. -I don’t think griffin knows what knitting is. -”Is there anything else you could edit in our past.       -Oh.Oh no. Magnus please stop. You are literally killing me with this arc. I can’t. I will drown in my tears with all this coming from you. -”Gotta respect the fiction.” -”The short version is we need the cup.” -You sure you don’t desire that cup Mags? Really sure? -That was cold Magnus! Stone fucking cold! -Taako saying ‘Partner’...please never again (Then said another 3 times) -Fuck yes Wand-guns again!!! -Issac is a fucking quick-draw! Damn! -“Fuck if I know.” -She’s the cup?! WHAT! -Woah, woah. WOAH. WHaT?! -(After a very impassioned speech by the Chalice) Merle: So you’re the cup? -”I know kung-fu.” (Wait, we never went back and revisited that, Taako.)
Ep 48- -You’re right. They will fuck this up. But it isn’t their fault. -Oh fuck no! Doing this one on one is not fair! -Good choice for Merle. But how does that help anyone else but him? -Taako’s turn. Shit. Saving the saddest one for last. -Oh fuck you! Making Taako remember Hurley/Sloane’s end! -Oh...Poor Taako. -(And it only gets worse as he explains it more.) -30 clove garlic chicken...wow. -Taako didn’t kill everyone...Poor Taako (I seem to say that alot) -Oh god. I can’t. I can’t do Magnus. It’s going to be too hard. Taako’s is bad enough. Magnus will kill me. -Yep. Nope. Travis just said he was going to get emotional. Now I know I will too. -I see exactly where this is going. Fuck! -Yep. Dying slowly. -”Magnus, you earned this happy ending. You worked so hard for it. It should’ve been yours.” Just kill me now! Give Magnus his happy ending! -Nope. -Nooope. Nope. no, nope, nope, nope,nope. -I cannot listen to this in public. I will cry. -Someone please tell me I am not the only one SCREAMING at Magnus to just take the Chalice and go be happy. -Griffin, you sure know how to cut in and kill a mood. -You are a strong boy Magnus. I wanted you to take it. -STOP KILLING HALFING WOMEN TOO!!!! -I love Taako (”Not going to take it for something only one third my fault)
Ep 49- -You go Roswell! Be sheriff! -Issac, stfu. You stuked. They can do better. -June to Issac. Fuck yeah! -Stop Mags. You are killing me. -Travis is about to die because of Justin (*Muffled screams of turn right!* My daughter is asleep!) -”What do you want, this is not a great time.” -Followed shortly by “This is a shitty shit, shit plan.” -I love too many NPCs in this story. -Travis’ sound effects are great. -“This is a shit idea, are you sure?” -”Super cool.” -Brace your asses -GDI GRIFFIN!!!! Stop killing the NPCS I love! -Magnus is doing his best to save EVERYONE this arc. -FUCK RED LIGHT! -Chorus of Nos and Hell nos to do you trust me (Including from me) -Oh....Oh SHIT! LUP! AHHHH (Things I know from spoilers has just told me who this is!) -Magnus asking if he made the right choice (*dies**just fucking dies*) -Magnus wanting to see June. This boy is killing me! -”Ren” “Yeah” “I’ve been watching the whole time” Now Taako is trying to kill me too! -You hear a voice on the wind go “Yuck” -No more elevators for Taako 2k17! -It’s Kravitz? It’s Kravitz. It’s Kravitz! YES! -(Calling it just before I get to that part because I have been wondering since the start if just maybe) The Red Robe is Magnus! (CALLED IT BITCHES!)
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thehobbblog · 7 years
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Entry #19
Things got a little heated with Violence around.  although we decided to go to bed, not all of us could sleep. I’m so glad I have my phone, I’d go mad if it weren’t for my music. You know that old Twenty One pilots song?  “ I ponder of something terrifying 'Cause this time there's no sound to hide behind “ I need this, and I don’t thinkt he others would understand. Everythings OK when I have my headphones. I can shut up. I need to find an outlet soon. I came back out to the fire to find Anna poking some coals. We put some more tinder on and got it bright enough we could see eachother’s faces. Neither of them were too happy. It’s strange, really. We’ve been fighting together for a while, but we don’t know much about eachother. You figure you’d know someone’s favourite colour, or favourite food before you find out what sound they make when they lose a tooth. So we had a chat. She’s nice, wants to go see the UK. Doesn’t really have plans. Apparently, she’s not always been a druid. Been doing her magic stuff for a couple months now. That’s gotta be neat, huh? Waking up one day, and finding out you control plants and stuff. She seemed nonchalant about it. Apparently, this all becomes normal eventually.  I’m not sure I believe that, really. But we’ll see. She’s gotta go meet that head slime dude, and that furthers her druid-ing. I honestly wonder if she even wants to get back to the surface, if it means losing her toys. I don’t really care about sword swinging, or the healing. But it’s not like I was doing anything better up there. The me’s were right. I might be better off down here. But my parents aren’t better off losing me like this. Weylinn was woken from his place, and came to sit with the two of us by the fire. Apparently, he and Lucas were having a conversation, but Lucas was dozing off. We got to know him a little better as well. He’s strange, you know? Some magic using, spear-swinging amnesiac. It’s weird to think I might know more about him than he does. The conversation grew silent, and eventually I had to ask the question. Anna tore up the suicidal Devily’s papers in some grand gesture. It’s really only an inconvenience, and pretty rude. If someone wants to die, the Underground can oblige them a number of ways. Why’d she do it? She didn’t know either. She feels guilty about having the guy’s companion killed. She doesn’t want to have a suicide on her conscience. As a druid she’s obligated to protect life. Plenty of perfectly reasonable explanations covering her completely vacant reasoning. I guess with how fictional things can get down here, she thought if you perform a sufficient movie moment things go your way. Things don’t go you way, and people die regardless. Weylinn had never seen someone try to kill them-self either. He just said whatever he thought would help. I guess nobody told him that’s the least helpful thing you can do. That chances are, they’ve heard it all before, and it didn’t help them then either. He seems content if the Devily kills himself, having done his part. I guess that’s just it, eh? We did all we could, and he didn’t die on a cliff at least. I could really go for a fucking dart right about now, just thinking about it. We turned the conversation back to Wey’s memory. He wants it back. I tried to express that maybe it’s not the best idea, uncovering a lost personality all buck wild. You know how in movies they have those people, whoa re fine but then one day they SNAP into a murderer? If Weylinn has two minds, two identities fighting to be Weylinn, I don’t wanna be around. I like this one anyway.  Conversations all turn into staring into the fire. We fed it some more fuel, and thought of things to say. I finally got say what’s been on my mind. I’m scared out of my fucking mind down here. Like, I get it I’m supposed to be all high and mighty knight and Paladins don’t show fear and stuff. But fuck me, I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I got parents that are looking for me by now, I got friends all confused why I’d do this. I know it’s stupid to say, but I got debts I’m not paying while I’m down here, so my credit rating is shot. Anna hadn’t even thought about her parents before now. Weylinn can’t remember if he’d ever had parents, a wife or kids. I mean, I guess I have it well off. I’m at least aware people above ground love me. It’s just driving me insane how I can’t fucking speak to any of them. Let them know I’m doing alright. There’s gotta be a way.  Weylinn revealed he hates working in groups, but he likes us. I’m flattered, really. I like these guys. They’re not the best, and they’re not healthy. But fuck me, it’s just nice to have other intelligences I can read. I can’t understand half the things down here, but people I know. I gotta know people, so they gotta like me. Conversation died again, I can’t have that. And then I told them about you. I don’t know why, but someone’s gotta know right? Fuck, it’s not like you get a say in it anyway. My job down here is to take the damage that the others can’t. Which means I’m going to die first. Someone’s gotta know. We got past it, and we hit the topic of Valker. Now, I know Valker as an old guy, a legend. A great doctor. I saw his signed paperwork dated decades ago. These guys know Valker as “The Darkness”, and the father of Lucas and crap. I don’t get it, the timeline’s all messed up here. Maybe I’m already dead, you know? This doesn’t make sense because it doesn’t have to. Maybe time doesn’t work down here like it does above ground. But they showed a tape recorder, and it was way too young a voice to be Valker. They also had no fucking clue what was ont he tape recorder when they played it. They claim he can edit notes, and material things. That’s why the tape recorder was different. I think they’re idiots. Speaking of making everyone feel like idiots, King came in. He finished Weylinn’s new spear. I feel kind of uncomfortable with him using Dungeon Breaker parts as a weapon, with Stuart around. But that’s how it goes. We learned about another Masked One, one without a name. Invented cowboys in all realities. That was pretty cool. I wonder if he has anything to do with my sheriff badge. Anna forgot that we live in a space-time with cell phones, and I could just tell her the time whenever.  I asked Weylinn about fixing my jacket, I like my jacket. He used it as an excuse to tell everyone about how much more work his magic is compared to everyone else’s. He didn’t end up fixing the jacket, and we all ended up going to bed again. I slept poorly, on a cave floor. Stuart woke me up by breathing in my nose. I didn’t expect insects to have a great breath, but fucking hell I gotta get this guy some more scent pleasing jerky. I gave the goober a good scratching, and started the pre chewing routine.  By the time he was fed, and satiated everyone was getting ready to leave. Alice was taking apart the firepit, and Weylinn was lecturing her about VIolence. Great, let’s just start the day with extra bitching. Alice thinks Violence will keep harrasing us until we’re all dead, and when we have the upper hand we should end his tyranny. Weylinn thinks VIolence is just toying with us, and it’s worth the effort to see what he’s getting at. I think that if Violence is going to meet with us, has already has two escape plans and three contingencies figured out before hand. The arguments are irrelevant, because we’re not going to see VIolence, unless Violence wants to see us. Nobody changed anyone elses minds, and we got the shellers ready for another day of travel.   Once again, travel is fraught with distractions. We found a cluster of nothings fighting a scarecrow. Like, literally the absence of light, was gathering clusters and attacking some talking scarecrow. We stepped in to help, got a little beat up in the process. The shadows clustered around targets, but were pretty squishy. They routed after a few bouts. The others blame Janus, being “The Darkness”. Apparently this scarecrow’s been in danger before, and they’ve saved him before. He was off again, before we really knew what was up. All we really got was that there’s a bridge, across the desert. A skeleton collects things, and protects the bridge. We don’t know what he collects, or why. So it’s not like we can plan. I dunno man, I couldn’t wait to get on the road again. Pretty quickly, we came to a settlement. Specifically, the one where the Slime Samurai guy came from. “The Shogonate” was the best ticket into the desert, and we had to go through fucking customs to be allowed in. I have thirty gold pieces on Avram getting “Randomly” searched.
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