#because I was completely reliant on my mom’s income (which I couldn’t spend without permission)

[seilon]

it’s kinda wild how quickly i start to spiral mentally and physically when i don’t leave the house for more than a day or two. remembering that this was just my everyday life not that long ago and for multiple years is absolutely wild. like it’s incredible im not in inpatient. or dead.

#my world gets so small so fast and I notice every little thing I hate about this house and my living situation and my brain starts to rot #only after a few days. #so. how I did this for multiple years? really honestly not sure #some similar realizations re: having a job. having my own money– albeit not as privately as it should be– is such a big deal to me #like I KNEW it would be a big deal for my autonomy as an adult and I was Correct. and now looking back at having no control over anything #because I was completely reliant on my mom’s income (which I couldn’t spend without permission) #im like jesus thank god that’s not the fucking case anymore. and I can be like. an actual adult #still need my fucking license and to GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE before i can solidly say anything but. yeah. still #anyway all this came to mind because this is the first time in a fucking While I’ve had three consecutive days off work #and it’s Too much time to be stuck in this fucking house #kibumblabs